Chapter 6.
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Sam had been throwing up – again and again. It happened every single time he had been put on dialysis, and Dean had become more and more frustrated about it. That was why he, after the first week back at Bobby's, had decided to give Sam's doctor a call to ask if there was any way to avoid the fact that Sam was hurting so much. To Dean's big relief, the doctor had been very helpful and had suggested that Sam was put on dialysis while he slept at night, instead of during the daytime which he'd been doing so far. The amount of hours Sam had to be on dialysis at a time had also been increased, and it had all been a big improvement for the younger brother. The new treatment made it possible to avoid too much nausea and too many cramps which meant that Sam was able to sleep more comfortably. It also meant that, even though Sam was still so weak that he couldn't even had beaten up a kindergartener if he'd wanted to, he was able to move around on his own which Sam appreciated very much.
"Good morning." Sam said as he moved from the living room to the kitchen with slow and careful steps.
"Morning." Dean said from his position by the kitchen table and looked up from the paper he'd been reading.
It had been three weeks since Sam had left Sioux Falls General to be admitted under the care of his big brother and surrogate father. Even though Sam had improved on a lot of levels, it was no secret that he was still sick as a dog – the dialysis not making him healthier but keeping him alive.
Dean watched Sam's steps towards the table with a watchful look, ready to jump up and catch his brother if Sam should fall. I won't be able to prevent you from falling, Sammy, but I'll always be here to catch you if you do.
"I'm not gonna fall." Sam said as if he'd been reading Dean's thoughts. "You can stop looking at me like that."
"I'm not looking at you like anything." Dean said and tore his eyes away from Sam, only to watch his steps the next moment again.
Sam rolled his eyes and plopped down on a kitchen chair with an exhausted sigh. Dean took a sip of his coffee and then eyed his brother.
"Breakfast?" Dean asked and pushed a plate with toasted bread and a little bit of jam towards Sam.
Sam gazed at the breakfast critically and then shot Dean a look.
"I'm sorry but it was all I could find in the fridge of stuff you're allowed to eat." Dean apologized.
There were a lot of things Sam wasn't allowed to eat at the moment, since his body simply couldn't process it now that his kidneys weren't functioning as well as they should have. The look Sam had on his face after Dean's remark about the food could easily have broken the older brother into tears. It wasn't fair that Sam was deathly ill and hurting and still wasn't even allowed to eat what he wanted to do. If Dean hadn't known how important it was for Sam's health to keep Sam on the right diet, he would gladly had jumped right out of his chair and made that disgusting peanut butter and banana sandwich, that Sam seemed to love so much, just to make his little brother happy.
Sam didn't say anything. He just stared at his food for a long while before he finally lifted up a piece of toast and took a small bite of it. Dean pretended to read an article in the paper while he kept an eye on his brother to make sure Sam did eat his food. The youngest Winchester brother was thin enough for Dean's liking as it was.
"Where's Bobby?" Sam wanted to know.
"Out on a supply run." Dean answered and got up from his chair to find Sam's meds.
And boy, did his little brother need a lot of meds! Blood pressure medicine, iron supplements, vitamins and Phosphorus-lowering medication – among other stuff.
"Hey Dean, I've been thinking.." Sam said.
"Yeah, you think too much Sammy." Dean sighed and placed Sam's meds in front of him.
"Will you please listen?" Sam complained. "I'm trying to say something here."
"I'll listen as soon as you've taken your meds." Dean said.
The two brothers stared at each other – both with stubborn expressions – until Sam finally gave in and took his medicine.
"Atta boy." Dean said with a wry smile. "What would you have done without me?"
"Well, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about." Sam said. "No one knows how long I'm gonna be like this, Dean. From what the doctor said, I'm probably not gonna be off dialysis at all."
"Where are you going with this, Sam?" Dean asked and washed a hand down his face in exasperation.
"There're people out there who need to be saved." Sam said. "And I can't do it. I could barely walk from the living room to the kitchen without wearing out, Dean. I don't want you to be stuck here with me for the rest of your life."
"Wow wow, hang on a minute." Dean interrupted with a frown. "You think I'm stuck here with you?"
"All I'm saying is that you could be out there right now saving lives, carrying on the family business." Sam started when Dean cut him off once more.
"And why would I do that? It's my job to protect you and take care of you!" Dean said.
"Says who? Dad?" Sam asked. "I want you to do what you wanna do, Dean! Look, I can stay here with Bobby, stay on my treatment, go to the check-ups on the hospital.."
"I'm not listening to this." Dean said with a humorless laugh while shaking his head.
"Why not?" Sam asked.
"Because it's crap, Sam! Okay?" Dean exclaimed and started pacing back and forth in the kitchen. "Do you really think I would take off and leave you behind? Well think again because I won't."
"But Dean.." Sam said.
"I mean it, Sam!" Dean practically shouted. "You're seriously ill – now is not the time to play Mr. Independent. And screw that, how can you even think I'm not here with you because I want to be?"
"But dad always told you.." Sam started.
"Sammy." Dean said, this time in a calm voice as he crouched down a bit in front of his younger brother and put a hand on Sam's shoulder while catching his eyes. "I'm not watching out for you because dad told me to, okay? I'm here because you're my little brother and there's nowhere I would rather be than here with you. I would die for you in a heartbeat."
Sam looked at Dean with eyes full of emotion and swallowed hard after that revelation.
"And you're also so annoying! Always making me go all chick-flicky, you little bitch." Dean said to lessen the tension which paid off when a wry smile spread on Sam's face.
"You're such a big jerk, Dean." Sam said which made the older brother chuckle.
"Finish the rest of your breakfast, dude." Dean said before he left the kitchen to go use the bathroom.
Dean was confident that they could make this work. He could take care of his brother for as long as Sam needed it – even if that meant for the rest of their lives. Dean Winchester was a hunter but most importantly; he was a big brother. And Sammy always came first.
Dean was on his way back to the kitchen when he heard a loud clattering sound followed by a thud, and he sprinted the last piece of way back to the kitchen. What met his sight had the older brother's heart stop for a second. Pieces of crockery of what had once been one of Bobby's plates were now spread all over the kitchen floor, and in the middle of it all was Sam.
"Sam!" Dean exclaimed and slid down on his knees in front of his brother before hauling the younger man into his arms. "Sam! Oh God, no, no. Sammy?"
Dean shook his brother a couple of times and when nothing happened, he searched for Sam's pulse and let out a relieved sigh when he found one.
"Sam, come on man. Wake up." Dean begged and repeatedly carded a hand through Sam's bangs.
"Dean, what's going on?" Bobby's voice suddenly asked as he came into the kitchen with a bag of groceries. "What happened?"
"I don't know, Bobby. I left him alone for two seconds and then I found him like this." Dean said and held his unconscious brother close.
"I'm calling an ambulance." Bobby announced before he grabbed one of his many phones and dialed 911.
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The ambulance arrived in the old salvage yard in Sioux Falls exactly eight minutes later. Dean had still been holding Sam in his arms when the paramedics showed up in the kitchen, and he had had a hard time letting Sam go so the medics could do their job.
"What's your brother's name?" One of the paramedic had asked as he had lifted Sam's eyelids and checked Sam's pupils with a small flashlight.
"It's Sam." Dean had answered. "He has kidney failure."
"Sam? Sam, can you hear me?" The paramedic asked in a loud and clear voice but Sam didn't respond.
"How old is he?" The paramedic asked while the other one put an oxygen mask over Sam's mouth and nose.
"23." Dean announced. "How is he? Is he okay?"
"Don't worry, we'll take good care of your brother." The paramedic said before Sam was loaded onto a gurney and wheeled out of the room.
"Let's go." Bobby had told the oldest Winchester brother and patted Dean's back in a gentle way. "I'll drive."
Sam's doctor had been paged the moment the young hunter had arrived at the hospital and he'd showed up to examine Sam right away, while Dean and Bobby had politely been asked to wait in the waiting area. Dean was on his second cup of coffee when the doctor finally showed up and asked the two men to follow him to his office.
"What's going on, doc?" Dean wanted to know as soon as he'd closed the door behind him.
"I have to be honest with you, Dean." The doctor sighed. "It doesn't look too well. Sam's kidneys have decided to give up."
"What?" Dean and Bobby exclaimed at the same time.
"But I don't understand. I thought Sam was improving." Dean said.
"So did I." The doctor admitted. "But on this stage of renal failure, the kidneys sometimes stop functioning all together. Now, I know you want to know what options Sam has so I'll cut right to it. The only chance Sam has of surviving is by getting a kidney transplantation."
"Okay, whatever it takes to save him." Dean said.
"But isn't there a lot of people on the waiting list for kidney transplantations?" Bobby asked.
"Unfortunately, yes." The doctor answered.
"What does that mean?" Dean asked. "That Sam has to stay on a waiting list for an uncertain amount of time before he can be treated?"
"That is one option." The doctor confirmed. "However, it is also a possibility to find a family member who will.."
"I'll do it." Dean said before the doctor could finish his sentence. "If Sam needs a kidney, I'll give him one of mine."
"Are you sure? Because you don't have to decide anything today." The doctor said. "It's a very big decision to choose whether or not to donate a kidney, and your family probably wants to have a saying."
"I'm all he's got and I don't need time to think, I'm sure." Dean said and Bobby nodded in confirm.
"Once the boy sets his mind on something, there's no turning back." Bobby said.
"Alright, but there're still a number of tests you have to go through to determine if you're an ideal donor for Sam." The doctor said. "You have to have a compatible blood type and be in good health among other stuff. You have to receive a physical, a series of laboratory and X-ray tests as well as an EKG and urine testing before we can decide if you're the right match."
"No problem." Dean said. "But before we get started on those tests doc, can I see my brother?"
"I'll show you to his room." The doctor said and led the way.
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Dean could never get used to the sight of seeing Sam hooked up to numerous of machines while looking so pale and still in the hospital bed. Sam had been awake when Dean showed up in the hospital room, and the older brother had no problems noticing the relief in Sam's eyes when they caught sight of Dean.
"Hi Sammy." Dean said and sat down next to his brother's bed like he'd done so many times in the past period of time.
"What happened?" Sam asked.
"You passed out in Bobby's kitchen." Dean explained. "Thanks for the heart attack and the broken plate."
"Sorry." Sam snorted and fidgeted a little with the nasal cannula.
"Leave that." Dean said and removed Sam's fingers from the oxygen device.
"When can we go back to Bobby's?" Sam then asked.
Dean sighed and bit his lower lip. This was not the part of the conversation he'd been looking forward to.
"Sammy, I talked to the doctor." Dean said. "Your kidneys are not really functioning anymore so you need to have a kidney transplantation."
"What?" Sam asked with wide eyes.
"Yeah." Dean nodded and kept eye contact with his brother who looked more and more upset with every passing second. "And if all goes well, I'm gonna be the donor."
Sam's eyes got even bigger and he dropped his lower jaw.
"No Dean." Sam said when he finally managed to find his voice. "It's too risky. I won't let you."
"It isn't even half as dangerous as some of the stuff we do for a living." Dean said. "Besides, I've already made up my mind about this and nothing you can say will change that. This way, I get to save your life."
Sam seemed to consider that for a while before he finally decided it was useless to discuss any further, so instead he reached out a hand and gave Dean's knee a gentle squeeze.
"Thank you." Sam said and looked at Dean with big puppy dog eyes.
"You would have done the same for me." Dean said and Sam smiled.
"Of course I would." Sam said.
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Thank you all for the reviews I've received so far on this story. It means a lot to me to read your opinions.
Please leave a review for me! ;)
-Elisa.