Early game spoilers ahead for Mass Effect 3, although I suppose you all have finished it by now. I haven't yet, mostly because I've become a perfectionist and I simply do not have the time to play multiplayer every hour of my life. Yet. Anyways, it's been awhile, but thanks to the Avengers Assemble soundtrack, I actually have prompts! Yay! This one, I swear, when I wrote it I had a very clear purpose and then I actually delved into it and it went off and became self-aware. True story. Plus, I've had a monster cold for the past few days which has got me on medicine and my brain is a lot fuzzier than usual. I did, however, go off of my normal track and tried to show a more self-assured, strong Shepard, and a confused Kaidan. Go figure.

This remains the same however: Enjoy and review!

"I'm alive, I'm alive, when you're dead inside,
I'm a slap in the face to your lullaby,
Got you all tongue tied 'cause you're living a lie, my friend,
I'm alive, I'm alive, when you're dead inside,
I'm your wake-up call, and you know I'm right,
So make a move, let it bleed,
Tear your heart off your sleeve,
But I'm the only one who's gonna save your life."

-I'm Alive, Shinedown

Poison

There was so much to comprehend. Earth was burning and the Normandy was fleeing. Commander Sarah Shepard took a deep breath, steadying herself on the wall next to her. Six months. Six months spent in a cushy cell, with Vega as the only constant friendly face. That was time that she sorely needed, and could never get back. Images of the destruction she had witnessed burned through her mind, leaving ash that she knew she'd have to deal with later. Now, however, there was much to be done. Shepard captured a stray hair that was obstructing her vision and secured it behind her ear, and steeled herself. As much as she attempted to make it not so, she was and had always been the one force that was constantly countering the Reapers. Lives hung on her actions, her resolve, and every move that she was to make from here on out was crucial.

Major Kaidan Alenko had barely looked at her since she had boarded the Normandy. He couldn't help thinking about how much had changed, how many critical moments of each other's lives they had missed. And now, with the Earth under siege, he doubted if they were ever be able to go back to where they were before, or even get a chance to figure out what they were anymore. Priorities had to be put in place. Still, as they left the Normandy to investigate Mars, a small part of him noticed how similar she was to the Shepard he had known years ago. It felt so right to be next to her again. He fit so easily by her side, in her team, that it seemed natural that this was where he would be. But he couldn't forget Cerberus, and when the organization showed its ugly head on Mars the tendrils of doubt that resided in his mind curled themselves around his thoughts.

Shepard had noticed the suspicion in his voice, and couldn't help the harshness that tinged her tone as she reassured him of her allegiance. It was part hurt, part anger, and part sheer frustration at his adamant distrust of her intentions. Finally she couldn't take it.

"You, of all people, should what I'm about." She offered him. And, "Please, trust me."

Her words cut through his rather lengthy inner monologue that was justifying his mistrust. The familiar, almost comforting repetition of thoughts along the line of, 'She's not the same woman I fell in love with…She's changed…She doesn't want to speak to me anymore…She doesn't care about me or my opinion anymore…She was with the enemy…She may still be with the enemy.' Now, with his shattered justification, he was only left a heap of emotions tainted by doubt, guilt, and confusion. He just couldn't tell himself that she didn't feel for him anymore. When she spoke to him she practically radiated concern and sincerity, along with her old calm confidence. Kaidan knew Shepard, really knew her, and she seemed more on the level than he was. She was giving him all she could afford, trying to recapture his trust, and all he could offer to her was a few words that sprung from his inner decay to ring hollow and stale in the tense air.

"I do, I'm sorry…"

It was as if he couldn't speak anymore. Shepard had called him out, had dredged up the dark parts of his mind and now that they were out he couldn't stop from them from spouting out the poisonous thoughts.

"Is that what they did to you?" He had asked as they perched over the horrid corpse, a man that was no longer a man, yet not quite a husk either. It was a man corrupted, a soul sacrificed in the name of "improvement". The look on her face had been enough to make him want to take back his words. A flash of hurt, then a sigh of frustration came from her, and it was evident that there were things that she wanted to say. But he held her back with even more questions, even more doubts.

Even as he threw this at her she still swallowed her wounds and tried to remedy his poisonous thoughts. Because they were killing him slowly, and she couldn't stand being so far away from him, even as they were so close to each other. She knew exactly who she was. Commander Sarah Shepard, just the same as she had always been. Now she only had to make him see that, before it killed them both.