Authors note: I'm kinda winging this as I go, blasting music to help me think of how I wanted this to go. Turns out, I can't get this one song outta my mind, and it fits so well with what I want to do, so I'm going to use it. The song is called Run, and it's by Snow Patrol. I see a common way to write "song fictions" is to put the lyrics into Italics, so that's what I'll be doing. Not all of the lyrics will be in this chapter... in fact, they'll be spread over many of them. Please, read, and enjoy. If you want, leave a review. I like to know about what you think.

Also, I had a PM asking me about who Rei is talking with. You'll find out more about that person later.

Chapter 2: Can't Escape
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So, where were we? Oh, yes, My story. This black tea is so often calming for me, I simply forget what it is, or why it is rather, that I'm angry. My outburst earlier was simply due to lack of logic. That happens to the best of us, and I'm sorry for that. Firstly, I should introduce myself, I'm Hino Rei. My duties of this new kingdom are mundane, but easy to do. I'm the miko. I lend my guidance when needed, offer spiritual healing, non traditional medical advice, and often I'm not on the beaten path of anything. Put into the most common terms, I'm the one people seek out after Ami, or simply, if they're looking for a different perspective. You can easily guess that I find myself at a loss for my own outlet, so I become cynical, and on occasion, angry, like you've just witnessed. I'm sorry for that. You're a new arrival on the moon, aren't you? Getting to know all of us, well that's quite the task, isn't it?

It matters not, there is much I should tell you, if you are indeed one of the queen's newest vassals. We all have our demons, its not by any means unusual. However, if you are to work along side of us, her Sailor Senshi, it becomes paramount that you, yourself knows about each of us, and our pasts. Their views on these topics will change drastically from mine, I assure you. However when you speak with them, you'll hear their version, I'm sure...

Anyway, about Minako. She was the first girl I knew I loved. In truth there was Usagi. She comes before Minako in all reality, but that love, or crush as I would more appropriately call it, wasn't exactly known about. I didn't consider her a crush, love interest, or anything along those lines, and so, we shall completely omit that particular detail for the sake of simplicity on my part. If we didn't, well, I would be unlocking a door all of us have sealed. After all, everyone loves Usagi to some extent. The Senshi are her protectors, it only makes sense.

Thus, Minako is our current topic of interest.

I remember it well. Not only when I had first met her, but the days after it. At first, we idolized her, she was Sailor V, the girl with powers that mirrored our own so well. Yet, beyond that, she was like an unreachable glimmer of light, one that even Usagi wanted to reach for. As the novelty waned, we realized who Minako really was, and in turn, learned of her sad past and lonesome views on her life. It wasn't that she spoke then outwardly, but like every girl who felt the loss of love, we understood. At first sight, you'd never know her to be such a deeply inflicted person, and back then it was much the same.

Her eyes have always been a soft blue color, and often they shimmer in excitement. She's always so full of wonder and merriment, always bursting with energy. I find it more endearing than anything. When she's upset those once joy filled orbs become darker, marred with both depression, and the regret of having done something wrong. At the end of everything, although she may point a finger outwardly, she always blames herself. Even now, she hasn't changed as much inside as she has outside. Most clearly a woman, one that looks ravishing in almost anything. Back then she was still a sight for anyone giving her the eye.

We had been friends for a while, and high school was without a doubt the turning point in all of our lives, with unforgettable meetings, and tearful partings. If there is a time I would reach back for, it would be the day I realized I cared for her. When laughter mingled freely with the winds, as if we couldn't lose. No matter what, we would always come out standing atop the word. We were fearless, and perhaps, a bit reckless. Just as every teen does, we felt godlike, and yet, at the same time, worthless without that special someone we could hide behind when times got tough.

It was cold that day, the leaves sprinkled from the trees while rain would often find us on the worst of times. In those days, I was naive.

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go

"Really Rei, why don't you transfer, it would be far easier if you did." Minako sighed as they walked on yet another morning to their respective schools.

"You know I can't." Rei answered in earnest, her mind was on her grandfather, his busy day ahead was quite hard for a man his age. "My mother wanted me in this school, besides dad pays my tuition. I can't just leave whenever I want. You have it easy going to public school like this. If I could go, I would, trust me." He was only getting older, and she worried about him. That was yet another reason she refused to leave. She had special privileges at the private school, her grandfather was her guardian, and it was because of this that the school let her out early when she was forced into shrine duties. "There's just a lot to think about, and always more to do than grandpa can handle on his own."

"That's why you should just drop out." Minako shrugged. Rei had considered doing that, taking on shrine duties full time, and training under her grandfather. "It's not like you want to do anything else anyway, right?" The blond liked thinking simply, and that often led to loopholes in her best laid plans. "If that's all you want to do, you should be with your grandfather helping him, not worrying about school work, grades, and pleasing those stupid nuns you always complain about."

"I thought about that..." If she could have, she would have done it by now. "The thing is, my father puts way too much weight on who his family is. He hates me, but he also expects the best of me. If I dropped out, grandpa says the press would be all over it. Grandpa also wouldn't be happy, he wants me to graduate and decide on my own after high school. I don't know if I want to wait that long or not." The truth was, he wouldn't be getting any younger, and Rei always feared the worst whenever the school office chimed her name. Because of his age, she was always permitted to call and check in on him, but she knew that was because of her father's influence. He paid quite a lot of funding out of his own pocket. Rei was sure it was a gimmick for his popularity, but she used and sometimes abused the privilege anyway.

"I wouldn't want to wait, but that's just me." Minako's eyes were glued on the ground, not ahead of her, nor focused on any one thing. "Then again, I'm not as careful as you are, so I wouldn't want to think of the worst possibilities." Clenching her backpack tight, she forced a smile. "But hey, if we let things like that scare us, we would be really bad at our job, right? I mean, we can't always force ourselves into thinking so darkly."

"We also can't be so flighty all the time." It was a depressing thought, one Rei often held onto. Because of her job, or because she knew she had mild anger issues with a few in her family, she wasn't sure. "In all honesty, I hate what Dad's done. Treating me like his wonderful daughter, as if we have a happy family. Everyone thinks he so wonderful. If they knew the truth-"

"Everyone would be unhappy." Minako cut off. "Now stop that, before you give the day a bad omen."

"There's always bad omens..."

You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

Omens... That's what I told her. It was as if then she froze up. Her eyes closed and she shook her head, saying something that all these years later, I don't quite remember. She smiled, took a hold of my hand, and walked me to school the rest of the way in the quiet. The only thing I could hear were the puddles as we edged by them. The wet pavement occasionally offered reflections, and if I close my eyes and think hard enough, I can still see her hand gently holding me close. Not letting me go, and her thumb tracing the back of my hand. I don't remember if I felt butterflies fluttering around, or anything like that. I just knew I liked the feeling.

We played lovers hidden in the shadows. She was a difficult woman, and one that drove me insane inwardly. On the outside, she played the normal teenaged girl, a game we were masters at for reasons I care not to think about. Behind closed doors, we played the roles of lovers without a cause. She would run to me, and I would quickly abandon my morals, ripping away my cloth as if it were a confinement I didn't want anything to do with. I would hold her and kiss her, pulling her near me with wants and needs I couldn't say I understood at that time. The heat I would feel, the burning need, the breathlessness, it all would wash over me over and over again.

Just like that, we would come bare for only each other. Stripped of everything, even our own personal goals and resolve, we would make love. Hiding, behind anything, and fearing anyone would find out. We held fast for what we knew could possibly be truth. If anyone found out, they would hate us, outcast us, and leave us behind. We never wanted that feeling again. We accepting each shuddering breath as ecstasy and dread. With shaking hands, we learned the joys of loving a woman, and the pleasure of accepting one in return.

We didn't have anything official. No, it wasn't like that at all. I never asked her to care for me, and I'm sure she wanted nothing to do with another woman outside of our locked cadge. Did I take advantage of her? No, I don't think so. I reached out for her, she just happened to be reaching out for someone too. I was just lucky to be that person. On yet another rainy day fate changed drastically. She ran, flying through the streets with speeds that frightened me. Another two timer no doubt. Minako, she can usually shrug it off, but she was serious about this one. Damn boys treated all of my friends like shit. She never told me about him, but I didn't give her the chance. That night, under the evening sky I found out how much I wanted her, and how far we could go on lying before we broke...

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do

"Who's there!" Minako called out, hearing footsteps following her into the alleyway. Show yourself!"

"It's me...Minako." Rei answered quietly. "You running back here for a reason, or am I just lucky I have such a beautiful girl to myself?" Rei leaned on the brick, waiting for some type of answer, but in her heart, she knew she wouldn't get one. "He broke up with you, didn't he?" It was both an accusation, and a painful reality for both of them. Minako didn't say anything, and instead kept her gaze firm, looking into Rei's eyes, begging her not to continue on with what she was saying, the words both a dagger that cut deep, and a backlash of concealed rage aimed at her. "Say something for gods sake."

"Yeah." Minako whispered. "He did, what do you care?"

"I care because I do." Rei snapped. "Idiot." With that, she took hold of the lost woman in front of her. "Why do you do that." It was a statement, not a question. They both knew that answer anyway. "Run to other guys when you know I'm right here. Why can't I be enough." Again, yet another statement. Rei was her comfort. That's all Rei would ever be, and she knew that. With a sigh, giving up on her anger, she embraced the blond. "Why? Why do I even bother loving you?" That's what Rei didn't understand. "It's been three months, three glorious months. You'd think by now, you'd let me in. If you never say anything how would I know?"

"I don't even know myself." Minako's breath was hot on Rei's neck, but the tears flowing freely, they were cold droplets of truth. "If I knew, then you'd think I'd tell you, but how I am to know how I feel for you?" She pushed herself away. "I'm a girl Rei, and so are you. More than that, we don't have the ability to love each other. That isn't a luxury I'm going to give us. It's not like we can do this forever, this isn't fate, it was never meant to be."

"You say that after kissing me? After all the shit we've gone through together both as Senshi, and as human beings, you say that now." Rei spat in annoyance. "What a crock!" She screamed while punching a nearby brick. "What? You think they'll judge you? That you're alone in this crap? I get it Minako, play the role of the one being hurt. I'm the one who's faithful. I'm the one who's here for you, and only you."

I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

I was so far gone by then. Lost in what I should have done. I wanted to hold her, take her into my arms, and just have sex. Then...then we could have continued our own little world, kept the little lie we built. We fought more that night. Neither of us willing to give or receive either. Not an inch, nor apology. Still, although there are many good things that happen in this life, there are many unfortunate things that occur as well. They spin together, both muddled and confused. That night, it was one of those times. That's what made life so complicated.

We couldn't be on bad terms or everyone would find out. We couldn't cut ties because of what our future held. We would never be able to forget each other no matter what. We were trapped. With anger we lashed out that night. However, with no answer in sight, we also agreed that we had nothing more we could do. Once again we give into our more primal desires. Perhaps, if I had been smart, I would have ended us then and there, on a good note, or as close to one as I could get. I just cared about Minako, I cared for her a lot. I couldn't just let her go. No matter how hard I tried.

Even if we had ended then, we knew that it wouldn't end our relationship. No matter how good or bad it might have become. Friends, or personal enemies, we were bound together in such a way. We both loved the excuse, and hated ourselves for it. In a time we couldn't comprehend, and so far away, we simply acted like we were strong. As if we couldn't be phased, and nothing would change us. That night, we had sex again, but it was by no means love. That was also the night we continued our little sin, only because we had nothing better for an answer.

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice

"Stupid meetings." Minako sighed in exasperation. "You just make sure you act normal." Tying her bow back into her hair, she had finished dressing after their afternoon frolic. She watched as Rei lit scented candles trying to mask the smell, Minako for her part began changing the bed sheets. This was their routine. They had it down well now, and could easily hide their activities. "Will you be alright for the meeting?"

"I know my lines, I'm used to it." Rei growled as she buttoned up a shirt. "Just make sure you know yours." Lies, they were so good at telling them now. Rei hated that fact about herself. Still, it was a necessity in her mind. As a dutiful student and granddaughter for the outside world, she would have to lie about being a Senshi anyway. It was the good of her friends and family. Lying to the others, well, she had an issue with that. She felt as if Usagi, out of all of them, had the right to know what was going on. It was Minako's fear kept them both quiet. "What story are we going with this time?"

"Mom and I got into a fight last night. We'll just tell them I wanted to avoid her today and came over early." Minako sighed. It really was all so easily done. "I had called Usagi last night ranting about it, actually. So it would be a half truth. I really hadn't wanted to stick around on my day off and wait for another lecture." It was then the knock on the door came, the others arriving for a day of study and Senshi business.

Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

We never wanted to continue onward. But we had too. I'll always love Minako, and even now, she was the best thing that ever happened in my life. Usagi and the others, yes, they all have a place in my heart, but, when I look back, my largest regret was not keeping her at my side. We placed the roles, had our cards right, and we knew it was the best thing in the world, secretly. Outwardly that was a different matter. Now, years later, when I look into her eyes, I see pain, remorse, and the longing to be held again. In order to understand why that is, I must compose myself, for that particular part leaves my heart devoid of anything but only the deepest of sorrow.

In my life, as a teen, even if it was some of my most unhappiest times, was also some of my most gifted. I know that now. If I hadn't taken everything for granted, would I still be with her now? I wonder that often, but even so, I continue on as I should, only for the good of our lie, and for the appearance of normality. In truth though, there is one other person who knows of what happened back then, and I guess, you could say she was both the cause of my demise as Minako's lover, and the one who saved me from myself. However, that is for yet another time. One when I can can halfheartedly remember that the past is the past, and now is where I am.

More to come.
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Edit as of 3/4/2012: Fixed spelling errors I could find (Although I will check again a week from now when my mind has cleared.)