A/N: I don't own Sailor Moon, please Read and review. I know this update took a long time to get out, for that I'm sorry.

Chapter 7

We have many pupils that come visit me. This girl, she's one of them. We shared our casual greeting. As normal, I had to check the ledger I keep near by. I often write in order to find out where I left off. I sigh, this particular section not one to be tighten lightly. "My job is to teach you, and act as a tour guide through the hell my life used to be. Up until now, I've given you cliff notes, Fusayo. I've explained rather loosely the turn of events, because in all reality, compared to later in my life, it was all child's play. I feel as if I hadn't had to go into to much detail. Purely because, as you know, the past is the past, and that won't change. However, on the topic of Makoto, I feel as if I would bring shame upon her if I spoke so casually." It's the only truth I have as I watch this mere child become unusually calm before me.

"Rei, could we do something else today?" She asks me. "I find the past quite interesting and all, but I just don't think I want to hear any more of that." There is only a slight tremble in her voice, one I can say I honestly haven't the slightest idea from whence it came. "I can't listen to stories that are nothing but heartbreak. Love is what my people, people from all of the other planets, hope for. I feel like all I've ever know, and anything I was ever taught has been dashed to bits."

I smile softly at her. This girl is very much unlike the rest of her bloodline, and so much like that woman of long ago. "It is because it is painful. This is why I speak what I do. Our world as we know it came about only after everyone, including Usagi, sacrificed much of their heart and soul." Setsuna told me this girl had been fishing around. I like that. This girl can act on true feelings and impulsive will. "Don't feel saddened by the things I say, Fusayo." I tell her as I ruffle her hair. "Be happy that through all of it, we've survived and could still build a world all of our own." Small parts of me wish I could do the same on a daily basis.

"But the loves you shared didn't last." I feel like I should be crying right now. She is right, after all. Still, I can only smile softly at her. She really is just a child. Perhaps, if I was still as young and naive as her, then I could grow feelings for her. That time passed for me long ago though.

"Monogamy didn't last." I correct her. "Love is a fluid thing, and Mars is a possessive power, much like Jupiter is." It's very complicated, and I partly feel as if I shouldn't be answering these types of questions. "I can satisfy any sexual urge I have. Even if I wished to sleep with Usagi or Mamoru, I would be welcomed into bed. That has never been an issue for any of us." I see the girl before me tense up, her sickened gaze only so for a moment, before her mind kicks back into place.

"Then, why are you so sad now?" She really is such a simple girl.

"You and I come from planets that are very dominate. We don't like sharing. That trait, well, it's learned over time. Relationships are something we must own, and committed relationships are part of that." If I could explain it well, I would be a far better person, sadly that just isn't the case. "Sexually, I'm far more satisfied than many could dream of, but, it becomes hard seeing those I care for sharing in each other. I guess, you could say I want ownership. Not of the person, per say, but of the types of things that go on beyond closed doors." I'm not explaining things to her properly, and yet, I can see she understands well. "I have no one to call my own. My lover, a person who needs me, and my touch alone."

"If you're close with... her...now, then why can't you talk about it?" Fusayo, she always becomes awkward. Cute really, if one cares to look at her for what she is.

"She was a far different person then." That should be enough of an answer, but somehow, I know I'll be grilled further. I'd rather not be. "I will tell you more after she agrees. If Makoto deems our relationship something she wants quiet, then I will do her the honor of obeying her."

"I understand." She says, as if she's been defeated. Her eyes find the floor ashamed of herself.

"You don't." It was the best I could do for her. "I doubt you could understand something that even I find confusing. Makoto and I are simply difficult people to date openly. I knew it wouldn't last. It was something we wanted out of loneliness, not out of true love. It was nice though, while it lasted."

"What is it like?" She asked me, although I knew she would stumble with her words. Fusayo is the type of girl who doesn't know what she's getting into. I am a sinner, even now, and I yearn for someone, anyone to call my own. "What is love now? What could it possibly mean for you, a person who defiles the term so coveted so long ago."

"The meaning it has, well, lets just say it goes deeper than you could possibly comprehend." Shadows danced on the wall, the fire casting a picture of a girl who knew nothing of what real love was. We never knew either, and that had been a large part of our problem as teens. "We never understood it ether, our eyes back then held hope. Solid conviction was easy for us, just as it is easy for you now."

"Do you love them?" She seemed imploring, and yet, uncertainty is what fueled the question. "All of them?"

"A better question would be, why did that love fail?" I could hear Setsuna's voice from behind me, and I sighed as she meddled in our affairs. "We as Sailor Senshi all love each other, child, never forget that." Always a stern lover, but yes, even she, as stoic as they come, found a place in my ever lonely heart. "Fusayo, I have warned you many times, you cannot know all that happens within this world, and acceptance for the unknown is what will drive you to become victorious. We never knew the trials ahead of us, not even I held all of the answers, although I knew more than most. The future is still unknown for me."

"I believe, Setsuna, the reason she cannot understand, is because she lacks the sight." Many don't have Setsuna's power, but even if we don't, we're happy not knowing. This girl, she is different in many ways. "Her ancestor would be very much the same right now, if she were here. Naru did well, to ask Usagi the things she did, and you Fusayo, although often questionable with your reasons, are much the same." Although I think I know why, I also believe she is much to young. "Although, if you find those answers, I doubt you will find happiness. Listen, I'm cutting today's lesson. Go enjoy a free afternoon, alright?" I asked, needing some time to myself. "I must attend to Senshi related matters."

I usher Setsuna to follow me into into another room, where I shut the door behind us tightly. "That girl can see right through me, can't she?"

"I find that to be little more than a cute surprise." Setsuna answered, amusement not spoken, but glimmered lightly in her crimson eyes. "What was the real reason you wouldn't tell her about Makoto?" Setsuna's always taken a relaxed approach with anything, but her ability to be here right now confuses even me. "Why not speak of the darkness you have within you, the realities, they should be spoken by you."

"I'd rather that you show her." I almost felt like I was begging. "I feel like she needs to see first hand what transpired. I can tell her the memories I have, but most of them have faded now. They wouldn't be clear. She needs crystal clear beauty, one that follows my life, and all that's in it." I leaned on my desk, the one that I used for all of my documentation. I could feel the papers crinkle under my grasp, my fears unsaid, but Setsuna knew them. "You can see that she has a crush on me, but I don't wish that on anybody. Not even myself."

"I will show her what I know." Setsuna tells me agreeing openly. "I will leave nothing to her imagination either." I also know why she's here in the first place, as she unzips the back of her dress. Today will be quick, and she chose me. "However, let it be known that many of us are not as willing to show our pupils the scandals of our past. Not nearly as much as you are." As it falls away, I see her true form, that of a wonderful woman, one who governs time. "What do you hope to accomplish, by having me show the girl what she should be told?" A goddess hidden by her tasks, much like myself, in a cloak of deep despair.

"I don't have a clue." I tell her as she closes in on me, intending to cut me short.

"Then get a clue." She orders softly. "Before all hope for you is lost." Her words are venom, but her kiss is sweet, and the contradiction burns me, just as it always has, and how her paradox always will.

More later.