Chapter Eight

We were in the truck. Edgar was speaking in Latin.

"What are you doing, man?" Chris asked.

"I'm turning this into holy water." Edgar explained. "I'm a minister."

"You're a minister?"

"Yup. I got ordained online. I'm officially recognized by the International Association of Online Ministers as the Honorable Reverend Edgar Frog, the vampire hunter."

"Did you study for that?"

"No. I went to the website, filled out a couple forms, and clicked "Ordain Me". Now, before going into battle, there's a few things that you need to be briefed on. First of all, when a vampire buys it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go out the same way. Some yell and scream. Some go quietly. Some explode. Some implode. But all will try to take you with them. As far as your arsenal of vamp artillery: We got stakes. Got some wooden ones, got some metal ones, and some carbon fibers. I like the resins, because they're light and easy to handle. That said, there's nothing as good as the old-fashioned, classic wood job. Safe, sturdy, reliable. Next we have my air-propelled-rocket grenade launcher for holy-water balloons. This is my baby. Don't touch it."

I reached over to try and touch it. Edgar smacked my hand away.

We also have one of these." Edgar continued. He held up a rope with garlic. "You know how to use this right?"

"Yeah, totally." Chris said.

"Okay, good."

"No, dude, I have no idea what that is."

Edgar just looked at him. "It's a garlic bolo. Nevermind, I'll hold onto this one." He put on his bandana. "Let's go kill some vampires."

```~~~LATER~~~```

We drove up to the cave, and got out.

"They know we're here." Edgar said. We walked up to the door that opened itself. Edgar looked at us, nodded, and we walked inside, the door closing. We down some stairs, and looked around. "You smell that? Smells like fungus or death. It's vampire BO."

We walked on, looking at every nook and cranny. Edgar did some sign language at one point. I knew what he was saying, but Chris was clueless.

"What?" he asked. Edgar did it again. "What the hell you talking about?"

"Just follow me."

We walked off. We heard Chris yell, and then he was gone. Edgar looked around.
"Chris." He said. "Chris. Chris. Shit. What part of "stay together" don't you understand?"

We continued. Edgar seemed paranoid when he walked, but this was usual. He sniffed.

"I smell ugly." He said. I heard Kyle hooting. He did it again. "Chris. Come on, Chris."

"Chris isn't here, Eddie." we heard. "But your brother is."

"Where are you?" Edgar snapped, the anger boiling inside of him. Lights broke above us. Kyle came up, hooting. "Yup, it's ugly." Edgar said, when he saw him. He threw the garlic bolo, and Kyle ducked.

"Missed." He said. Edgar fired up his 'baby', which was the grenade launcher. He shot it, and Kyle's head exploded, his blood going on us.

"Pop goes the weasel." Edgar said, and shook his hands to get the blood off. I walked off, and into a room, and saw Chris.

"Aunt Casey." He said. I put a finger up to my lips. Shane came down, vamped out.

"Chris. Casey." He said. We looked at him. "Welcome."

Chris went to attack him, and shoved Shane into the wall. They began to fight. Shane threw him into a shelf that had glass and stuff on it.

"Chris." He said, taking off his jacket. Chris was vamped out too. "I've been waiting to meet someone like you for quite some time, Chris." He held Chris up by his shirt. I hid and watched. "Someone that would push the boundaries, someone that would challenge me." He put him down. "I saw that in you."

"Chris." We heard. Nicole walked in, vamped out. "I don't wanna lose my brother."

"Come on," Shane said. "Taking in someone's essence, consuming living human blood, that's the real rush."

They looked at Nicole, and then Chris spat in Shane's face. Shane threw Chris into the air, making him flip three times and then land on the coffee table. I went up to fight, but Shane just ended up throwing me into the couch.

"No!" Nicole yelled. "Shane!"

Shane walked over to Chris, who was on the now broken coffee table. He kicked him and then started punching him.

"No! Shane! Stop! You're killing him! Shane!" Nicole yelled, trying to pull Shane off of Chris. Shane knocked her down, and then kicked Chris. "No!" he began punching him again, and then stopped. It was Nicole. Shane faced her, a wooden stake going through his chest.

"Nicole. Why?" he asked.

"He's family, asshole." Nicole said. Shane grabbed her, and pulled her forward, trying to make the stake stab her. "Shane. Shane stop."

Then, Shane was beheaded by Chris. Nicole screamed as his blood got on her. She ran to her brother, as Shane's body went to the ground, on fire. A light came from it, and Chris held Nicole close. Nicole left Chris's side, took off the jacket, and threw it on the burning body.

"Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day." I heard Edgar say, as he came in. "Light a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life." Edgar walked over to the body, and pulled out the stake that had half of it burned off. He threw it on the couch. I walked up to him, and kissed him. We pulled away. "You'll be getting a bill for my services." He said, and the two of us walked out, leaving Chris and Nicole just standing there.

```~~~LATER~~~```

We drove up to the house.

"Thanks, Eddie." Chris said.

"Hey, it's what I do." Edgar said. "And it's Edgar."

Chris, Nicole, and I got out. The kid from earlier, Evan, sat up from the back.

"Hey, is it-?" he asked. Nicole looked at him. "Is it cool if I call you sometime?"

"Uh.." Nicole said. "Okay." We walked in as I heard Evan go,

"Yes!" and then as Edgar drove away, "Whoo-hoo!"

We walked into the house, and got three beers out of the fridge. We drank some, and then sat on the couch. The door slammed open. It was Jillian.

"This is completely unacceptable." She said. "I know exactly what you've been up to. I am telling you, it has to stop right now. I will not stand by and watch two young people that I care about fall into this trap, you hear me? Casey, you're supposed to be setting an example!" Jillian went to leave, but turned. "So, if I so much as see one seed, or catch one whiff of reefer—and believe me, I know what it smells like—I'm calling the cops. No warning. We are talking zero tolerance, you got that?" we nodded. "End of discussion."

Then, she left. We just took a drink from our beers.