I recently finished the anime known as "Soul Eater" and I totally loved the episodes with Excalibur. So I got the idea, what if the YJ crew met him?

To forewarn you, this is an unrecorded adventure of a group of Young Justice teammates, pre-Invasion. When asked why they didn't jot it down for future members, all they did was give a strange expression and walk away.

"Excalibur?" Kid Flash asked, reading the title of Robin's book.

He asked Robin this while sparring with Artemis, who took the moment to knock KF's legs out from under him. The floor-screen read "Kid Flash: FAIL."

Robin looked up from his book. "Yeah. I found it in Zatanna's room. It's pretty cool."

Rocket, who was also in the room, looked up from her magazine. "And what were you doing in Zatanna's room?"

Robin blushed. "Geez, nothing like that! Zatanna was in the room too. I asked if I could borrow a book to read, and she said sure."

Artemis walked over and looked over Robin's shoulder. "Excalibur, huh? I think I heard about that somewhere."

"Not surprising. It's pretty famous. Listen to this." Robin began to read aloud. "'Only the chosen hero may pull Excalibur from the ground, and when he does, he will gain power, glory, and victory for all his days. He will ride on wings of light, granted by the holy sword's power. He will be a king among men, and a legend until the end of time.'"

Kid Flash ran over, apparently recovered from his humiliating defeat. "A king, huh? Sounds pretty good to me. Is this holy sword even real?"

"Yeah, I thought it was just a legend," Rocket added.

Artemis pointed to a passage on the page. "Hey, this part gives a location."

"You're right," Robin noticed. He chuckled to himself. "Maybe that's where Excalibur is."

A pause.

"We should check it out!" KF exclaimed.

"What? The holy sword doesn't exist. It's just a legend," Robin argued.

"But you just said the location in the book might be where Excalibur is!" KF pointed out.

"I wasn't serious!" Robin shouted.

"I'm with Kid," Rocket said. "It might be fun to search for the sword. It's not like we're doing anything important at the moment."

"You guys are nuts," Artemis said. Then she began to think about it. "Then again, the 'wings of light' bit sounded kinda cool..."

"Artemis, not you too!" Robin said. "I just pulled out this book because it looked interesting, not because it's real! It's just a myth!"

"They said the same thing about aliens and magic," Rocket pointed out.

Robin frowned and closed the book. "Touché."

At that moment, Red Tornado and Doctor Fate walked in. Fate was there to discuss the possibility of mystical protection for the cave. Red Tornado was there, being the den mother this week.

"Please excuse us, children. We'll depart in a moment," Red Tornado said.

Fate noticed Robin's book. "Excalibur?"

"Yeah. You know it?" KF asked.

Fate looked away. "It was too much even for me."

"It exists?" Robin asked. "You went after it?"

"Yes. I personally went after it , and Giovanni Zatara went searching for it several years ago."

"And neither of you were able to free it from the ground?"

Fate didn't answer. Instead, he left the room with Red Tornado.

Another pause.

"Guys, we're going after that sword," Robin announced.

"YES!" KF cheered. "I'll prep the Bio-Ship!"

He ran on ahead, with Artemis chasing him, hollering, "Hey, you don't even know how to fly her! Wait up!"

Several hours later...

"Excalibur is in a wet cave?" Rocket said. "That's encouraging."

After searching for a really long time, the group managed to find a cave on top of a cliff. But the floor of the cave was filled with water.

Robin looked in the book. "If the book is right, then getting a little wet is a small price to pay."

Artemis stepped in the water, shivered and said, "Well, let's get this part over with."

The team began to walk forward into the dark cave. Luckily, Kid Flash brought a flashlight.

"Water's getting into my boots. How much farther?" Kid asked.

"If I knew that, I'd tell you," Robin snapped.

They continued walking, until they came upon a little light. It was coming from a small floating creature with wings.

"Oh my gosh, it's a fairy!" Artemis exclaimed.

"Maybe cave gas is making you hallucinate. Fairies aren't real," Kid said.

"We're on a team with two aliens and an Atlantean, plus we're looking for a legendary holy sword," Rocket deadpanned. "Finding a fairy or two shouldn't be weird."

"Hi!" the fairy said cheerfully. "Who are you people? Why are you dressed weird?"

"We're looking for the holy sword Excalibur," Robin said. "Is it here? Are we in the right place?"

Instead of answering, the fairy made a weird expression. Her face scrunched up to the side, her eyes showing annoyance, while her teeth gritted together. She speed away from the group.

"Was it something we said?" Robin wondered.

"What was up with that face she made?" Artemis also wondered.

Not sure what just happened, the kids continued on. After walking for what seemed like an eternity, they came to a large cavern, filled with light. In the center of it all, was a beautiful sword, stuck in the ground.

"That must be it!" Rocket shouted.

The group ran up to the sword, marveling in its beauty.

"It's really real," Robin said in awe. "Now, only the chosen hero can pull it free."

He stepped forward to try his luck, but Kid Flash stopped him.

"Hey, why do you get to be the chosen hero?" KF complained. "It was my idea to look for this thing in the first place!"

"Yeah, you didn't even believe in it right away," Artemis added, sticking up for her boyfriend.

"If anyone is going to free the holy sword, it's gonna be me," KF declared.

"Wait, why you? Why not me? I think I'd have a pretty good shot at it," Arty protested.

This led to an all-out argument, and they were so involved in it that they didn't notice Rocket walking over and pulling the sword out.

"Looks like I'm the hero, ya'll," she said triumphantly.

"What?" Robin said. "That can't be right. Let me try."

"What's the point? It's gonna be the same every time."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

Rocket couldn't argue with that logic, so she obliged and slid the sword back in the ground. Robin stepped up, gripped the hilt, and the sword slid out easily.

"So... you're both the hero?" Kid said, confused.

After a few more experiments with KF and Artemis, they came to a conclusion: either they were all the 'chosen hero', or something was weird with this sword.

"We can't all be the hero," Robin said. "Maybe this is a fake."

"I hope it's not," Rocket sighed. "I hate the idea of having come all the way out here for nothing."

"Salutations, heroes!"

The group snapped to attention.

"Uh... did anyone else hear that?" Artemis whispered.

"Sorry for the late greeting. I am the holy sword, Excalibur!"

The sword began to glow, and it flew from Robin's hands. There was a huge flash of light.

"That is so..." Robin began.

The team stared at the little white creature before them. They said their opinions in unison.

"LAME."

Back at Mt. Justice...

"Hey, has anyone seen Robin, Raquel, Artemis and Wally?" M'gann asked. She, Connor, Zatanna, and Kaldur were in the kitchen/living room area.

"Not for several hours," Kaldur replied. "I wonder where they went."

At the moment. Red Tornado and Dr. Fate entered. Zatanna looked away.

"Hey Red, Fate, do you know where the rest of the team went?" Connor asked.

"If you are referring to Robin, Rocket, Artemis, and Kid Flash, we last saw them reading a book on the legendary holy sword Excalibur," Red Tornado replied. "And then left the cave without permission, as it seems."

"I believe they were going to go after it," Fate added.

This caught Zatanna's attention. "Excalibur? As in 'victory and glory' Excalibur? The holy sword that will give it's wielder wings of light and make him a great king? That Excalibur?"

Fate and Zatanna looked at each other for but a moment, then both let out irritated sighs.

"Let's stop talking about it," Zatanna suggested.

"Agreed," Fate said. "I shall returning to the Watchtower. As for the teammates who left without permission, finding that sword will be punishment enough."

Red Tornado left the room with Fate, and the kids stared at Zatanna.

"The holy sword Excalibur?" Kaldur asked. "I always believed that was a myth."

"It's real alright," Zatanna said. "Back when my dad was still... well, my dad, we went looking for it. It was a sort of father-daughter bonding thing."

"But you didn't find it," M'gann guessed.

"Oh, we found it," she assured them. "But we later wished that we hadn't."

"They say that only a 'chosen hero' can free the sword," Connor said, remembering a tidbit of info he learned from the genomorphs. "I guess you and Fate didn't have what it took."

"No, it doesn't work like that."

Zatanna's teammates raised their eyebrows.

"That is just... wow," Artemis said.

The team continued to stare at this odd little... thing.

"Why isn't it wearing any pants?" KF wondered aloud.

"I am Excalibur," Excalibur said. "May I ask who you are?"

"We're the proteges of-" Robin began.

"Fools! I already knew that," Excalibur interrupted.

Robin frowned. "But if you knew, then why did you-"

"My legend begins in the 12th century," he interrupted again. "Your garb is strange. Where are you from?"

"We're from Happy Har-" Rocket tried to say.

"I like to start my mornings with a cup of coffee with cream," Excalibur said. "That is the first of the 1000 provisions you must peruse if you are to be my Meister."

"But you said you wanted to know- did you say a thousand?" Kid said shock.

"My legend dates back to the 12th Century, you see," Excalibur went on, sticking his cane in KF's face. "My legend is quite old. The 12th Century was a long time ago."

"We know that. But do we really have to do a thousand provisions? Are they even important?" Robin asked.

"Fool!" he said, now sticking the cane in Robin's face. "Of course they are! Especially #452, the 5 hour story-telling party. You must partake in that."

"A 5 hour story-telling party?" Kid Flash said in shock. "Forget-"

"Would you like to hear my legend?" Excalibur asked, once again interrupting.

Kid looked ready to strangle Excalibur, but Rocket and Artemis held him back.

"You know what?" Robin said. "Yes. We'd love to hear your legend."

"Very good," Excalibur said. "Pay attention, children. My legend is very important, and dates back to the 12th century..."

It was the Summer Olympics. I was part of the athletic team for the United Kingdom, and I was their star athlete. But when it came down to the final event, Ice Skating, the rest of the team was too tired or injured to compete. That left me to win the gold!

"Um, Excalibur? Ice skating is a Winter Olympic-" Artemis began.

"Fool!" Excalibur said in a annoyed tone, and sticking his cane in her face. "Save your questions until the end. Now, let me continue my legend."

"Excalibur, are you sure you can do this?" said a female ice skater wearing a cast on her leg.

"It doesn't matter if I'm sure," I said. "I must do this, in order to win a medal for the United Kingdom."

So, I took to the ice, determined to bring the team victory!

(The audience in the story all have opera glasses, for some weird reason.)

No one spoke, for they were too taken by my stunning ice skating routine!

(This routine looks suspiciously like the dance he performed in a previous story.)

As I did my final leap, the arena burst into applause! Never have they seen a routine more breath-taking or awe-inspiring!

"You won, Excalibur!" shouted one of my teammates. "You won the gold!

I smirked. "Was there any doubt, my friends?"

And that is why I always make sure to carry exact change.

"Are you kidding me!" Artemis shouted. This outburst shocked her friends. "What does carrying exact change have anything to do with that stupid story?"

"Fool!" Excalibur shouted, sticking the cane in her face. "It has everything to do with it! If you had been paying you'd would see how!"

She shoved the cane away. "If you know what's good for you, you'd better stop sticking that cane in my-"

"Which brings me to number 58 of the 1000 provisions," Excalibur went on, completely ignoring Artemis. "Never talk to me while I'm humming to myself."

"What?" Artemis said. "That has nothing to do with anything I just-"

"How often do you wash your hair?" the annoying sword asked suddenly.

"Pardon?"

"How often do you wash your hair? The answer is important."

Artemis was wary, but decided to answer. "Three or four times a w-"

"FOOL! That was a trick question! Do you really think that when you're my Meister, something like how often you wash your hair will be important?"

Artemis grit her teeth, but didn't say anything. Instead, she marched back over to the water, and ducked her head under. From the bubbles that emerged from beneath the surface, and the high pitched whining noise that came with it, the team could assume that Artemis was currently screaming in a fashion that would put Black Canary to shame.

After a full minute, Artemis resurfaced and rejoined her friends, now looking much calmer.

Kid Flash patted her back. "Feel better?"

She nodded. "Yes, thank you."

"Group huddle," Rocket said. She looked at Excalibur. "Excuse us for a sec."

The team huddled. As to what they were talking about, it was inaudible. Soon, they broke huddle.

"Since you listened to my legend, I will reward you with a song," Excalibur was saying.

"Sir, you really don't need to-" Robin tried to say.

"Fool! As someone who is clearly unaware of the vital role that singing has played in the cultural history of mankind, you are in no position to question me. Remember that the next time you stop to consider your place in this world. You do not possess the power to deny a singer his song. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

"Okay, okay, sorry!" Robin said. "Sing your song!"

"Why do I have a feeling this day just got more annoying?" Rocket said to no one in particular.

With that, Excalibur began his song.

"Excalibur, Excalibur!
From United Kingdom
I'm looking for heaven
I'm going to California

Excalibur, Excalibur!
From United Kingdom
I'm looking for heaven
I'm going to California..."

An hour later...

"Excalibur!
Excalibur!
Excalibur!"

At last he took a breath. The team all sighed in relief, for they thought the song was finally over. But alas, it was not meant to be.

"Excalibur, Excalibur!
From United Kingdom
I'm looking for heaven
I'm going to California

Excalibur, Excalibur!
From United Kingdom
I'm looking for heaven
I'm going to California..."

An extra half hour later...

"Excalibur!
Excalibur!
EXCALI-BUR!"

With a big finish, Excalibur finally wrapped up his song. The kids were asleep.

Kid snapped awake. "Is it over?"

Rocket also woke, and began to awake Robin and Artemis. "Yeah, I think it is."

Once the kids were all awake, Excalibur made an announcement. "You have all been chosen!"

"Aw, finally!" Robin said.

"It's about time!" Artemis agreed.

"You will have it all! Fame, glory, and victory!" Excalibur went on.

He morphed back into a sword, allowing the kids to all grip his hilt.

"Come now! Adventure awaits!"

The team looked upon him in awe, as wings of light emerged from his blade. They raised him high... then quickly placed him back in the ground.

"Pfft, as if!" Kid shouted, crossing his arms.

"I'd rather have a root canal done by the Joker then use you as a weapon!" Robin added.

"I'm sorry, but what's going on?" Excalibur asked, confused.

"Remember when we huddled an hour and a half ago?" Rocket explained in an irritated tone. "That was us all agreeing that the second you turned back into a sword, we'd shove you back into the dirt where you belong!"

"Now that the deed is done, we're going home!" Artemis said. "Let's go, guys."

The team exited the cave, Excalibur protesting in the distance.

Mount Justice

"Anyone can free Excalibur from the ground; that part's easy enough," Zatanna continued to explain. "But there's nobody who can put up with that lame thing long enough to wield it."

Kaldur, Connor, and M'gann gave each other confused glances, not sure what Zatanna meant.

A few hours later, the Bio-Ship entered the hangar, and the rest of the team was there to greet them.

"You're back!" M'gann said happily.

"How did it go?" Kaldur asked.

"Did you find Excalibur?" Connor added.

Robin, Artemis, Wally, and Raquel didn't answer. Instead, they all made the exact same face that fairy had given them earlier.

As they exited the hangar, Zatanna had to laugh. "Yup. They definitely found it."

Kaldur, Connor, and M'gann were still confused.

Review, my peeps! I wanna hear what you have to say!

Excalibur: FOOL!

Shut up, already!