Tied Together With A Smile
Author: Vasira Snow
Authors Note: Glad you are all enjoying the story so far. =)
Chapter 3 - Addicted
I heard you're doing okay
But I want you to know
I'm addic- I'm addicted to you
I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?
I tried to make you happy
But you left anyway
Harry woke slowly and feeling depressed. He had had dreams about his mystery writer and the mystery guy he had been dreaming about for a couple months now. It took Harry only a moment before he realized why he was feeling depressed, he had hoped that there would be a letter waiting for him when he got back to his room the night before, but he had entered the room to a snoring Ron and disappointment. Harry closed his eyes as he heard Ron stirring in his bed.
Another moment later, there was a tap on the window, and Harry shot up in the bed, and he looked over and grinned when he saw the owl. Ron hadn't quite made it to the toilet when the tap happened, and he turned around, confused. Harry was on his feet before Ron could say anything, and he opened the window to let the owl in.
"Whose Owl is that?" Ron asked, Harry nearly jumped, as he was untying the letter from the owl's foot, and he swirled around.
"You're still here." Harry said, Ron just stared at his friend with a raised eyebrow. Harry cleared his throat.
"I don't know who the owl's owner is." he said, after a moment, sighing.
"And you're willing to take the letter without even running any detection charms?" Ron asked, suspiciously. That's how I could find out whose writing to me Harry thought, and then he shook his head.
"I've been getting letter's for about a week now from this person." Harry said.
"How come you never told us?" Ron asked, Harry shrugged.
"Everyone in the world knows my business, I wanted a secret that I could keep to myself, at least until I knew more about this person, I only responded to him the other day." Harry said.
"Him?" Ron asked, a small smile forming. Harry rolled his eyes.
"Well, I'm not entirely sure it's a him, but just the way my mystery writer writes, what is said, I'm fairly certain it's a guy." Harry said.
"Well, ask him who he is, maybe you could get yourself a boyfriend and stop being so mopey... get your mind off of everything's that happened." Ron said, excitedly. Harry couldn't help but laugh at his friend's enthusiasm.
"Not quite that simple, he's agree'd to answer everything about himself but his name, house or year, at least for now." Harry said, wondering when Ron had become so observant, Hermione probably.
"What did he say this morning?" Ron asked. Harry frowned.
"I don't want to share my letters, at least not right now... let me keep this a secret for a few more days, please?" Harry begged. Ron stared at Harry for a moment, but then reluctantly agreed.
"Ron, I mean Hermione too, I don't want her to know yet, please promise you won't tell her? Let me tell her when I'm ready for her questions." Harry said. Ron looked pained.
"Alright, let's cast the unbreakable vow, you know it's the only way I'll be able to keep your secret." Ron said. Harry smiled, and the two stepped towards one another, the owl still sitting on Harry's shoulder. They reached out to take each other's hands, Harry pulled out his wand and cast the spell.
"Do you, Ron, promise, with the aid of the unbreakable vow, that you will not tell anyone, including Hermione, about the letters?" Harry asked, his wand still raised, the spell weaving around the two men's hands.
"Yes." Ron replied, "I promise not to tell anyone, including Hermione, about your letters." The spell wrapped around their hands and then soaked into the skin. Once the spell was over, Harry lowered his wand and pocketed it.
"Alright, I guess I should go shower before Hermione gets suspicious.. or scold's us for being late." Ron said. Harry nodded, grinning.
"Thanks." he said. Ron nodded, and the moment the bathroom door was shut and locked, Harry unraveled the parchment and began to read.
Harry;
You can not believe how excited I was to see a letter attached to Regulus when he returned to me. Thank you for trusting me enough to write back. As for his name, it happen's to be one of my favourite names I've ever heard, I thought it would suit my owl quite fine. Your godfather was Sirius Black then?
You asked about my family, wow do I wish you had asked me something different right now.. but I suppose it won't hurt to tell you this soon about my family. Behind closed doors, my parents loved me very much, they still do. They have always supported me and want to know what's going on in my life. They are very loving parents, in the comfort of our own home, that is. In public, my parents are more reserved, my father the worst. He will sometimes act like I've disappointed him, or act like a.. well.. a bloody asshole if I'm being honest. My mother is a bit less reserved in public, unlike my father, she hasn't really needed to put on an act in public, when she goes out.
I am an only child, to be honest, it did get a bit lonely at times. You have a cousin, don't you? I bet you were never really lonely with him around. You say your aunt and uncle were cold? How cold exactly? Most everyone in our world assume they kissed your ass because of who you are. I take it you aren't really close to your family then? That sadden's me to think about, honestly, but if you accept me in the end, and my family, I know mum and dad would love to have you as part of the family. They know I'm gay, they know I'm writing to you, they think it's a mistake that I'm not telling you who I am though. Anyway.
My crush on you, or whatever the feelings are, are the main reason I started writing to you. I felt like I couldn't just admire you from afar anymore, I wrote to you all summer... well I wrote letters and kept scraping them and rewriting them.. then when it came time to come back to Hogwarts, I decided to learn Ron and Hermione's schedule so that when I finally got the courage to send the first letter to you, you'd be alone. I guess that answer's your other question about how I know Ron's never around when I send the letters.
Do not be afraid of offending me with anything you say, I've learned over the years to not be so easily offended.. it excite's me that you call me your mystery writer, by the way. Now, I wanted to ask you.. other than obviously the war and deaths, is there anything you regret happening or doing over the years?
Yours,
Your Mystery Writer
I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over, can't forget what you said
And I never, want to do this again
Heartbreaker! Heartbreaker! heartbreaker!
Harry was grinning like a madman by the end of the letter, he plopped himself down in his chair, eager to write back to his new friend. He hoped Ron took long enough in the shower so he could share his thoughts and concerns about Malfoy with his writer, without Ron reading over his shoulder and getting angry at Harry's wanting to be friends with their old enemy.
Mystery Writer;
I'm glad you enjoy the 'nickname' I've given you, hopefully as we get to know each other better I can come up with a better nickname.
Yes, Sirius Black was my father's best friend, he was my godfather. He was innocent of the crimes he was charged of, he was framed by another friend of theirs, unfortunately. To answer your last question early, I wish I could have gotten to know Sirius better, I wish I could have gotten to meet my parents. I try not to regret too many things from the past, as I can't change them now, not that it works too well, I tend to dwell on things, wish I could change things.
Actually, speaking of changing things. Do you know Draco Malfoy? Well, I actually credit him and his parents in saving my life, they helped, in their own way, me in defeating him. Well, yesterday Draco was on the quidditch pitch flying by himself when Ron and I got out there planning on a friendly game. I suggested we invite him to play, and then even sat beside him in Potions. I want to try to be friends with him, but Ron and Hermione are both highly opposed to the idea, it caused a fight between us yesterday. I didn't speak to Ron again until this morning, well until your letter came, Ron was still in the room.
What do you personally think of Draco Malfoy? I mean.. even Severus Snape wasn't what he seemed to be, I actually wish now that I could have gotten to know him better too.. maybe Draco Malfoy isn't as bad as he seemed over the years? I just wish that my friends believed me about Severus, then maybe they'd be more open to befriending our own enemy.. I really hate sneaking around, I've done too much of it over the years, I'm sick of it.
Actually, my cousin was just as mean as my aunt and uncle, so I was very lonely even when he was around. We are the same age, he used to beat me up daily. I was actually kept in a cupboard under the stairs until my Hogwart's Letter came, then my first summer back after Hogwarts, I got Dudley's second bedroom, my family were terrified Dumbledore or Hagrid would come after them if they found out I was still under the stairs. I also used to have to wear Dudley's hand me downs, nothing ever fit me right.
Thank you for telling me about your family, it's nice to know that even if it's just behind closed doors, there seem to be more families like the Weasley's, loving and willing to accept others into their family. It flatters me that you want this to go that far, that one day I could be a part of your family some how. Since you don't want me to know who you are yet...
Can you just tell me some basics about you? Favourite colour? Do you like to read? What do you like to do when your not in school or doing homework? Anything else you can think of?
Write soon,
Harry
Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
I'm still a dick, I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this
I tried to make you happy
I did all that I could
Just to keep you
But you left anyway
Harry was just tieing the letter onto Regulus' leg when Ron opened the door. Harry looked up, and smiled, as he went over to the window and Regulus immediately jumped off his shoulder and flew away.
"Any hints on who it is writing to you?" Ron asked, as Harry went to grab what he needed to get ready for the day.
"Well it's been confirmed that my writer is a guy... he's an only child, and he knew who Sirius was.." Harry said.
"Well, almost everyone knew who Sirius was, even if it was misguided." Ron said. Harry shrugged.
"No, I mean.. okay his owl is named Regulus, I mentioned that that was my godfathers brother's name, from that he knew who Sirius was." Harry said. Ron raised an eyebrow.
"Are you sure this guy isn't someone who wants to hurt you?" he asked Harry. Harry nodded, then shrugged.
"He said he's not a death eater, or at least doesn't wish me harm. Right now all I can do is trust him." Harry said, as he finished gathering his clothes.
"I'm not sure I like this." Ron said. Harry sighed.
"Just please... don't think about it. If I grow worried, I'll tell you, but I believe this is a good thing, not something that's going to put me in harms way." he said. Ron frowned.
"I don't understand what's going on with you lately, Harry. First you're all mopey because of what happened during the war, it wasn't your fault Harry! Then you want to be friends with Malfoy.. and now you're writing some random guy, how do you know he's telling you the truth? How much are you telling him about you?" Ron asked. Harry took a deep breath.
"Ron, it's MY life! I can be friends with anyone I want to, I can tell my mystery writer anything I want, and I am trusting that yes he is telling me the truth. The fact that my being born is what started this stupid war means it is my fault, and if all you are going to do is criticize everything thought I have or thing I want to do, then fuck off and leave me alone." Harry snapped at his friend, before he turned around and slammed the door to the bathroom behind him. He locked the doors, and then stepped into the shower, turning on the taps and let the water run over him.
I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over, can't forget what you said
And I never, want to do this again
Heartbreaker! Heartbreaker! heartbreaker!
The day went by slowly, Harry and Ron were refusing to speak to one another, Harry was even ignoring Hermione, and she was getting frustrated with her boyfriend, as Ron wasn't telling her anything.
"This isn't still about Malfoy, is it?" Hermione whispered to Ron during Defense Against the Dark Arts. Ron shook his head.
"Not entirely anyway." Ron whispered back.
"Then what?" Hermione hissed.
"I can't talk about it." Ron said back.
"Why not?"
"Because I promised Harry before we fought about it that I wouldn't even tell you, now stop asking." Ron whispered. Hermione frowned.
Hermione looked behind her to look at Harry, who seemed to have tried to find the furthest seat away from the both of them as he could. He was sitting with Ginny, who looked like she was trying to get information from him like Hermione was.
"Ginny, leave me alone right now, alright?" Harry spat out. Ginny bit her lower lip.
"Harry, you know you can tell me anything right? I can keep secrets." she said. Harry shook his head.
"I'm not in the mood to talk about it, so just drop it." he said as the professor spoke. The new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor seemed oblivious to any whispering that went on behind his back.
How long will I be waiting?
Until the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine
I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Draco grinned as Regulus landed on his shoulder, he had a free period and was just about to fly around the Pitch for awhile as he daydreamt about Harry. Draco dropped his broom to the ground, and untied Harry's letter from Regulus' leg. Draco felt his heart flutter when he read his name in the second paragraph. He had to read the paragraph nearly 5 times before he was able to calm himself down long enough to actually comprehend the words written there.
Draco smirked as he pocketed the letter, so Harry wanted to be his friend? Maybe he and Harry could get together sooner than he had hoped.. maybe he can stop the secret letters, or send less, he really didn't like writing letters, once Harry and him become friends. Regulus flew off his shoulder, realizing he didn't have another to send back, and Draco picked up his broom.
Mounting his broom, Draco's mind began to wander to the future, wondering how good friends he and Harry would become, how soon Harry would realize Draco's feelings... how soon before Harry realized and shared the feelings back... what their future together could be like.
I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over, can't forget what you said
And I never, want to do this again
Heartbreaker! Heartbreaker! heartbreaker!
I'm addicted to you, heartbreake