Masked-Writer-In-Disguise: Well… I seem to have been absent lately… BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN IDLE! Check it! It's a straight pairing! (I'm kinda proud of myself for that…) I know I have other works I need to complete… or update and things of that nature, and I shall get on those ASAP, but in the meantime, have some ShikaTem… something.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the series, but I do own the plot (of this story).
Inspiration: It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World – James Brown, Accidently – Black Crows
Accidently
Shikamaru slumped down and buried his face in his hands. Why was life so difficult? Why did everyone expect so much from him? Why did Asuma have to go and force (well, trick, but Shika'd never admit it) the young Nara to take a damned IQ test? Of course, he knew the answers to all of those questions; the second was because he was a fucking genius and the first was because of the second and the third was Asuma trying to get Shikamaru to make something of himself.
But none of that meant he had to like it. Now, all because of Asuma (the bloody traitor) the Hokage had chosen him, Shikamaru Nara, the lazy-ass, good-for-nothing genius of Konoha, to solidify the alliance between Konohagakure and Sunagakure by marriage. To Temari no Sabaku. This could not be fucking happening. Sure, his mother would be pleased; she'd get grandchildren now, but why Temari? She was exactly the type of woman he'd hoped to avoid.
On that line of thought, why Shikamaru? Why choose a young man who basically wanted to avoid marriage for as long as possible? Surely there were other eligible young men that would be better suited to dealing with someone as obviously difficult as the Suna konoichi. Or maybe everyone was a sadistic bastard that liked to see Shikamaru in pain; that was a distinct possibility…
The Nara sighed, rubbed his eyes, and looked up to see the Hokage watching him carefully.
"Why me?" the 20 year old questioned.
"Honestly? You have to ask?" Kankurou, the messenger and soon-to-be brother-in-law, snorted. "Well, I'm not going to explain it to you, but if it makes you feel any better, she ain't happy about it either."
"Actually…" Tsunade began loudly as she leaned forward. "There was a raffleandevery straight bachelor had his name put in a hat. I drew out a name – yours – and decided I liked the match. You're just the lucky guy, hon. There are men who'd kill to be in your shoes."
The Hokage grinned impishly and leaned back again, and Shikamaru got the distinct impression that everybody found this far too amusing, and he hated it because he didn't see the hilarity of the situation.
"How is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"I dunno," Kankurou shrugged, "you both hate it? There was very small chance that you'd be picked, but the fates decided to play a joke on you so you have no choice? Both seem pretty funny from my standpoint."
"It doesn't help, but thanks for the attempt…" Shikamaru leaned back in his chair, figuring he might as well accept what could not be changed. "Have you told my parents?"
"They have been informed." Tsunade nodded.
"When's the wedding?"
"That's your decision."
"When's she getting here?"
"Three or four days. She has to pack up her stuff. That should only take her a day, but she's dragging her feet," Kankurou informed the two others in the room.
"Fine…" Shikamaru sighed. "I don't have a choice in this, do I?"
"Not really," Tsunade smiled wryly. "Now, make sure she has a place to live, Nara. You are dismissed."
Shikamaru stood up and exited the Hokage manor, heading home because there was no way to avoid the trouble of dealing with his mother for very long, so he might as well bite the bullet and get it over with. He stepped into his house and was immediately set upon by Yoshino Nara. Looking to his father for support was useless because the man was too whipped to go against his wife's enthusiasm.
This was Shikamaru's hour.
"When will the wedding be?" The woman got right to the point.
"I don't know; she's not here yet. Figured I'd let her decide." Shikamaru toed off his shoes and gently pushed his mother out of the way. "Let me get in the house, woman."
Yoshino huffed. "I can't believe you waited long enough to get put into an arranged marriage for alliance's sake! I was hoping you'd come home with a girl of your choice and I'd have at least one grandchild by now. But no, the Hokage has arranged your wife for you. Do you even know who she is?"
"Temari no Sabaku." Shikamaru slouched into the chair across from his father at the dining room table and rubbed his eyes. This was so beyond annoying.
"Now that sounds familiar," Shikaku chuckled and sipped his sake.
"What do you mean?" Yoshino turned her attention to her husband.
"She was his opponent at his Chunnin exams."
"Great. You'll kill each other and I'll never get grandchildren!" Yoshino threw her arms in the air and stomped off to the kitchen sink, turning on the water and scrubbing at the few dirty pans with a vengeance.
"It will be interesting, at the very least," Shikaku rasped and leaned back in his chair.
"Shut up, old man," Shikamaru snapped and Yoshino quickly came to her husband's rescue. Apparently Shikamaru lacked respect for his elders.
It wasn't exactly his fault that he was in a shitty mood today; everybody seemed to think it was ok to control his future. Forget about even asking Temari properly; from what he'd been told, she would kill him before the words even got out of his mouth. They'd robbed both of them of the choice of who they married and denied her the pleasure of a proper proposal.
It was mildly insulting. To both of them.
The older Nara male cut smoothly into his wife's rant about respect and how back in her day a son spoke with reverence to his father, not to mention the respect he treated his mother and so on. "It seems you get your house earlier than expected."
Shikamaru blinked.
Usually the head of the Nara Clan's oldest son and heir apparent would get a house when they turned 21 unless the Head decided to withhold it for any reason. Sometimes it was given as a wedding present in addition to whatever else the family decided was necessary, but that rarely happened. Plus, Shikamaru hadn't been expecting Shikaku to help him out in this. All throughout Shikamaru's childhood, Shikaku had played to tough love role in parenting, making his son work for what he wanted, keeping a distance and thoroughly whipping the boy's ass when Shikamaru lost his head. The young man had not even bothered to consider his father's assistance in any one of his 200 possibilities.
At least someone could outsmart him because Shikamaru sometimes felt like the only one who had even a small amount of intelligence.
Shikamaru quickly rearranged his plans.
"That would help…"
"Good, 'cause it's yours."
"Shikaku, you can't just give it to him! His birthday's in a few months!" Yoshino put her hands on her hips and gave both Nara men her best 'irritated glare'; it was usually enough to make the men rethink their strategies, but not this time.
"I can; it's their wedding present. Why make him buy a house when he's just going to get his own in a few months anyway?"
Just as Yoshino opened her mouth to reply, there was a conveniently-timed knock on the front door and the two men were spared a lengthy lecture because she sped off to answer. Kankurou followed Mrs. Nara into the kitchen and promptly held out a sealed scroll to Shikamaru.
"This came for you after you left. Probably instructions for you from her," Kankurou smirked.
"Great, not even married yet and she's ordering me around… Meet your future family, Kankurou," Shikamaru muttered as he took and opened the scroll, which was definitely from Temari. She was apparently bringing all of her furniture and decorations except for the bed. Shikamaru would have to provide that, a house, and anything else they may need. Good thing he had that covered.
"What does it say?" Yoshino asked after he'd reread it twice.
"I have to provide everything except furniture and decorations. Troublesome…" Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck and asked, "Where are the keys, dad. I gotta go check it out."
"My room, hook on my side of the closet."
As Shikamaru left the room, he caught Kankurou saying, "So, you all seem to be taking it well."
"If this hadn't happened, then I'm not sure we'd ever get grandchildren," Yoshino replied and Kankurou laughed.
Shikamaru rolled his eyes and went to get the keys so he could make sure his new home was habitable.
&~o~o~o~o~o~o~&
The day Temari was supposed to arrive, Shikamaru was packing the last of his belongings so he could take them to his new place of residence. He'd bought the bed, a redwood, king-sized four poster (each post intricately carved with vines and birds and other wildlife), two days ago (at his mother's insistence) and it had been delivered yesterday evening and he'd arranged the furniture he'd provided (the stuff he was NOT leaving at home because they were as essential as breathing) and slowly moved himself in.
Now he just needed his significant other and his life would be complete. Woopdy-freakin'-do! Life was going to be great.
Shikamaru propped the last box against his hip and exited his childhood home, glad his new place was still on Nara property otherwise he'd feel as though he were leaving for good. While that happened to most kids who got married and moved out, most shinobi in a clan didn't have to worry about things like that. This home and this property was really all he'd ever known, and leaving completely would be heartbreaking. Before he got too close to his new home, he caught a glimpse of three men and the woman to whom he was now engaged through the tangle of tree limbs that were so prevalent on Nara land.
Well, its show time, Shikamaru thought and strode lazily up the porch and opened the door for his fiancée. Then he followed the woman inside, walking around her to get to the bedroom on the other side of the house. Temari was standing in the middle of what was going to be the living room when the Nara emerged from the master bedroom.
She looked around the room with a critical eye, obviously planning where everything was going to be placed. As Shikamaru watched, the woman noticed the small amount of furniture Shikamaru had provided, the most noticeable being the Shogi table in the corner. Her red painted lips lifted in a smirk and she turned around, motioning to the men carrying what the Nara assumed to be her stuff.
"Did you get the bed, dear?" Temari asked with a sweet smile that Shikamaru automatically mistrusted, probably because she was a woman and she wasn't getting her way.
"Yes, I did. It's in the bedroom," Shikamaru gestured behind him, his expression clearly telling her how obvious the answer was. Of course he'd gotten the bed and of course it was in the bedroom. If she'd just walked a few more steps down the hall to the bedroom, she'd have saved herself a pointless question.
Temari swayed gracefully past Shikamaru to inspect his purchase. He caught the scent of cinnamon, cloves and vanilla and inhaled deeply, but silently. Somehow, that scent always got to him, even on the escort missions early on in the alliance. He'd looked forward to guiding her, if only to smell her. Mother always had said that the strongest indicator of attraction was an attraction to scent; the fact that Kiba only dated someone if they smelled nice only backed that theory.
"A little extravagant for you, don't you think?" Temari's rich alto broke through Shikamaru's thoughts.
"The only thing I picked out was the mattress. Mother insisted on the frame," Shikamaru rolled his eyes, remembering the fit his mother and Ino had thrown until he'd caved and bought the damned thing. "Do you approve or do you want me to return it?"
"It'll do, but I would like a canopy."
"Figured you would. Getting it made, and it should be here in a few days," Shikamaru had to mentally pat himself on the back for giving in to the odd urge to spend extra on the canopy, if only because it was going to save him an argument or two in the future. "Curtains are ok, right?"
The blonde nodded and the man let out a sigh of relief he hadn't realized he needed to exhale. There was another argument avoided. He had to admit he had great instincts.
The men had by now begun to release the seals on the scrolls and were arranging things as best they could and Temari stepped back out and began giving orders, already ruling her new home like a tyrant. Shikamaru quietly (wisely) stepped back into the shadows and let her do as she wished. At least this way she wasn't bothering him for anything.
Hours later, the konoichi had everything looking how she wanted it and Shikamaru felt it was safe to come out again, so he stepped out and made his way to the kitchen. Temari decided she'd done enough for tonight and sent the Suna shinobi back to their hotel. Shikamaru watched as the woman turned slowly back into the house, wary as to what her mood could be.
She just looked tired, maybe a little scared, but the fear disappeared quickly; Temari was too proud to let anyone see her as anything other than difficult.
"You didn't want this either, did you?" Shikamaru asked, perceptive as always. Sure, it wasn't the best thing to say to your arranged-fiancée right off the bat, but it was always better to get right to the point.
"No, I didn't. I just left everything I knew for this alliance," she spat and swept past the man and into the bedroom, closing and locking the door behind her.
Shikamaru sighed and glanced around the room in which he was standing, wondering what he could safely cook because she obviously wasn't going to. Deciding on eggs and toast, something simple, Shikamaru set to work, making enough for two. Once the scent of the man's unique recipe permeated the air, Shikamaru heard the bedroom door open and felt, more than heard or saw, the woman step up behind him.
"You can cook?" Temari sounded skeptical, like if she hadn't seen it herself, she wouldn't believe it were possible.
"Not very well, but dinner sounded good." He held a plate out to the woman. "I hope you don't mind scrambled; there's toast by the toaster."
"What did you put in these?"
"I'll tell you after you eat them."
Temari glanced warily at her food.
Catching the look, Shikamaru said, "Most people get creeped out after I list what's in them. It's my own mixture, but it tastes good," as he leaned against the counter, eating his own meal.
Temari took a bite, chewed thoughtfully before she nodded and said, "Alright, now tell me."
Shikamaru glanced up and said, "Chile powder, cumin, ground mustard, brown sugar, chopped onions, garlic… and some seasoned salt."
"You're right. It is weird." Temari took a seat at the table she'd brought and dug into her food as if she hadn't eaten in days. Shikamaru ignored her despicable table manners; it wasn't as if his were any better.
They finished their meal in silence and Temari retreated back to the bedroom, closing and locking the door for a second time, leaving Shikamaru with clean up duty and probably a night on the couch. The Nara sighed and went about his chores with a less-than-enthusiastic attitude; back home Yoshino never had to clean up the kitchen because she cooked all the meals. It only seemed fair that the same rules applied here, too, but maybe Temari was just too upset to be considerate. It still seemed a poor excuse, but Shikamaru would let her get away with it for now.
Hours passed and the bedroom door remained locked, so Shikamaru took spare blankets and pillows out of the hall closet and set up camp in the living room. At least the couch looked comfortable. He stripped down to his boxers and made himself as comfortable as he could, waiting for sleep to come for him; it usually didn't take all that long. When midnight came and went and Shikamaru was still awake, the Nara knew sleeping was useless tonight.
It wasn't fair; she was probably fast asleep right now in the big, comfortable bed that Shikamaru had picked out but hadn't gotten to sleep in, and he was out here, wide awake, listening to the sounds this house made at night. They were all somewhat familiar now that he'd spent two nights here just to get used to it, but it was still uncomfortable to lay there without sleeping, so Shikamaru got up and walked to the kitchen to brew some coffee. Then he went out and sat on the porch to wait.
The night was cool, deer whistles echoed through the forest and the scent of loam and trees and wood smoke made Shikamaru relax so much that Shikamaru was surprised to realize he had been tense. It was very difficult for Shikamaru to get riled up at all, even more so for him to remain that tightly strung. Nimble fingers raised and massaged tired eyes.
This was just ridiculous. Why wasn't he anybody else? If he were, he'd have no qualms about going around the house, climbing into the master bedroom through the window and taking over his half of the bed, but his mother would die if he even attempted that. His parents had raised him to respect women and the one currently sleeping in his bed was probably so far out of her comfort zone that Shikamaru should be extra considerate of her.
Lovely.
The alarm on the coffee maker beeped quietly and the young man walked back into the house and poured himself a mug, inhaling the fumes and staring at nothing while he waited for the night to walk its course and the sun to rise. It was slow going. The hours dragged their feet, and Shikamaru still couldn't close his eyes, so he turned on some quiet music and decided to play a game of Shogi with himself. One game turned into two and so on and so forth and by the time nine AM rolled around, Shikamaru was seriously considering boycotting his favorite pastime for a few weeks.
Temari came out of the bed room in her loose lavender silk dressing gown covering her sports bra-and-boxer pajamas and her hair down around her shoulders and looked surprised to find Shikamaru sitting up. The Nara glanced at the clock. Probably everything that she knew about him said he'd still be sleeping right now unless there were pressing business with the Hokage or with his mother, but here he was, playing Shogi against himself and looking as though he hadn't slept at all. The blankets and pillows on the couch were a mess looked as though there had been more tossing and turning than sleeping going on.
Shikamaru flicked his brown eyes back to her and waited for her to do anything.
"Put some clothes on, Nara…" she finally muttered and stepped into the kitchen. Shikamaru watched her put a kettle on the stove for tea and glance at the coffee pot. Having her make tea instead of take the last cup told the man that she didn't like coffee. Great, just one more thing for them to fight over… or more for Shikamaru, however he decided he wanted to look at it. At the moment, he wasn't sure.
Shikamaru was still sitting by the Shogi board when she came out of the kitchen, and he just watched her.
"What?" she snapped irritably.
"Am I allowed to go into the bedroom now?"
"It's your house," Temari replied and sprawled out on the couch over Shikamaru's sleeping things.
"You seemed quite intent on keeping me out last night, so I figured I'd ask," the man replied and when he came back out he was wearing a traditional black cotton robe with the Nara clan symbol embroidered on the back.
"Did you even sleep at all last night?" Temari asked after a while of awkward silence broken only by clacking tiles as Shikamaru continued his game.
"Nope."
"Was it my fault?"
"Nope… Well, I don't think it was, anyway," Shikamaru muttered.
"You gonna make it?"
"Through today? Not likely."
Temari sighed and got herself into a better position to watch her future husband and whispered, "Sorry… you can sleep in the bed tonight; I'll sleep on the couch."
The Nara rolled his eyes and gave up on playing his game. He was too tired to care right now, so he turned his full attention to the woman with her head propped up on the arm of the couch.
"We're gonna have to share the bed eventually. We might as well start now."
Temari snorted. "That's the worst pick-up line ever, Nara. I can't trust you to keep your hands to yourself. I'm sleeping on the couch."
Shikamaru's eyes hardened and his face went dead. Was that how she really thought of him? Did she really think he was just a horny, fresh-out-of-his-teens guy? He'd never acted his age, and he'd certainly never thought of forcing a woman to do anything she didn't want, but she had just basically accused him of wanting to rape her, or at least have sex with her, because she obviously didn't want to have any form of sex with him. What had he ever done to give off that impression? They'd spent a lot of time together over the course of Suna and Konoha's alliance; she should know him better than that.
He bit down hard on the angry words that threatened to lash out. She's just out of her element; she doesn't mean it; give her time to adjust; she doesn't mean it. So instead of saying anything, he bit his tongue and looked at the cold cup of coffee still cradled in his hands. She could draw her own conclusions from his silence, but if he said anything now, they'd just make things worse.
"So, what're the plans for the wedding?" Temari broke the strained silence.
"It's your wedding. You pick it, plan it, do whatever. Ma'll be happy to help," the Nara said to the semi-reflective liquid in his coffee cup.
"But I thought you'd have it all planned by now, genius."
"You're the bride. You plan it."
"Is that how you see it, you fuckin' sexist pig? Just 'cause I'm the woman I have to plan everything? Is wedding planning so beneath you?"
Shikamaru closed his eyes and pleaded for patience. "No, I just thought you'd want to plan it because you couldn't plan anything else; because I'm not your ideal husband; because neither of us have any choice in the matter, but ultimately you're the bride and they choose how their special day goes."
There was silence for several long moments before the woman grunted an affirmative noise, but made no effort at an apology. Shikamaru didn't expect one so soon. When he'd originally said it, it had sounded sexist, and she was obviously a feminist. He'd have to learn to step carefully around her from now on if she was this volatile at such a small slip.
"Just," Shikamaru added, "if you ask my mom for help, don't insult her. I don't care how you treat me, but you do not fuck with my mom."
Then the Nara got up and went to the kitchen, dumping his cold coffee into the sink before rummaging through the fridge for some breakfast. Fuck cooking for her; if she was hungry, she could forage. He'd been planning on being nice and making one of his mom's famous breakfasts but if this was how he was going to be treated, then he wouldn't even bother.
He found an apple in the fridge and a jar of peanut butter in the pantry and grabbed a knife from the block before he went outside to be alone with his thoughts. If she followed him, then so be it, but at least he tried.
One of his family's does was outside his front porch, looking at him with her big watery eyes. Shikamaru took one look at her and sighed; well, there went breakfast. A slice of apple was dipped into the peanut butter and fed to the deer, and soon the apple was gone. The entire time, the man had felt eyes on him, but he ignored it. It was either another doe or Temari and she'd see this side of him eventually. Maybe she'd start to realize he wasn't as bad as she thought. Hell, he didn't think he was bad at all, just lazy. He knew he was lazy and he wasn't afraid to admit it to anyone.
"I hope you like that, hon, 'cause you just ate my breakfast," Shika murmured softly, smirking when her ears swiveled forward towards the sound of his voice. "Greedy little thing. Peanut butter and all."
She finished off the apple and nudged him a few more times, making sure he wasn't holding out on her, before she turned around and wandered off into the forest.
"Glad you enjoyed that; I wish I could have…" he whispered to the empty clearing.
Shikamaru looked down at the apple core (which he threw away), the knife and the half full jar and shrugged, dipping the knife in and licking off the food. It would have tasted better with an apple, but he wasn't ready to back inside for another one.
The door opened behind him and Temari joined him on the porch.
"The deer beg often?" she asked.
"Yep. if you plan on walking through the forest, carry a bag of rice cakes with you 'cause they know anyone walking alone in these woods has them."
"So you have herds of deer for pets?"
The Nara nodded. "Nara's have always raised them."
"We don't have anything like that in Suna. We don't have much to do with animals, actually."
"You live in a desert. Really your only options are lizards, snakes and birds…"
Temari nodded, and they sat in a tense silence for a while until Temari got up and went back inside. Shikamaru was mildly grateful. The strain was too much for his usual easy going personality. Maybe he wasn't all that cut out for this whole relationship thing, even if it was forced. He'd never been really good at communicating with anyone, but he could read them like a book. Maybe that was his problem; he was too smart, so everything would go wrong in his personal life.
Naruto had it easy. He wasn't entered into raffles for alliance marriages; people generally ignored him; he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed; he didn't have to think everything through before he acted – he just acted. Best of all, Naruto could have generally normal relationships, well, as normal as a gay relationship could be considered. There was no tiptoeing around each other (because anyone who dated Naruto knew exactly what they were getting into), no misunderstandings in the first few hours they spent together, no planning, very little fighting, very little sleepless nights.
In Shikamaru's very new and still-forming relationship with Temari, all of the above had happened in the span of 10 hours. It just wasn't fair. This was what he was trying to avoid when he didn't even attempt anything in school. Being a genius was too difficult.
Temari breezed out the front door and skipped down the steps and path, calling over her shoulder, "I'll be at your mom's to start planning the wedding. Do whatever you want."
See, that's what normal couples said before one of them left. Where had the awkwardness gone in the few minutes they'd been separated? Maybe she was just preparing to put on a brave face for his mother. Maybe she'd decided holding onto grudges was not the way to go.
If she had been trying to put Shikamaru at rest, she'd failed miserably. The woman had only pulled out more questions and suppositions.
Perhaps he should have tried out being gay, just to see how other men behaved in a relationship, because women were almost too much work.
The Nara sighed and went back into the house; maybe he'd catch some sleep in the bed while she was gone; maybe he'd get dressed, unpack some of her stuff, shower. Maybe he'd do absolutely nothing simply to spite her. Who knew? He collapsed into the still-messy bed and closed his eyes. Damn, this bed was comfortable; he'd made a good choice.
When he opened his eyes next, the sun was definitely lower in the sky and an annoyed Ino was standing over his bed.
"Honestly, Shika! I had to find out you were getting married through the grape vine! Is that any way to treat you best friend? And what are you doing in bed this late? You have things to do!"
Well, good afternoon to you, too, Shikamaru thought groggily.
The woman tugged at Shikamaru's arm and managed to drag the reluctant man out of the warm cocoon he'd made sometime in his sleep. For all trouble Ino caused the chunnin, he really was glad she was here. This was a woman he had some chance of understanding, but only because he'd had years of experience in decoding the jumble of emotions that was Ino's mind.
"Is your fiancée living with you? A lot of this furniture I know for a fact you did not own last week. For that matter, who are you even marrying? If it's Sakura, I swear I'll kill you," the woman was still prattling on as though everything she observed was the most important thing in the world.
"Ino: shut up and let me talk."
"You'd better have a damn good explanation as to why I was not the first to know you're no longer available," the woman let go of Shikamaru's arm and pushed him down onto the couch, but the Nara didn't say anything. He was used to Ino's roughness, especially with him.
"Well, first off, no that's no way to treat my best friend, but I was busy; second, I was in bed 'cause I didn't sleep last night because, third and forth, yes, my fiancée, Temari no Sabaku is living with me. She got here yesterday and has managed to insult me several times in the short time she's been here."
Ino blinked and asked, "And you're just gonna take it, huh?"
"I'm trying to be considerate. She gave up everything to be here."
"Well, what about what you gave up?"
Ino's point made Shikamaru blink. "What about it?"
"You suddenly went from being a bachelor living at home to being in a relationship that's bordering on marriage and having to pay bills and take care of someone else. There is no way you're dealing with this any better than she is."
"I hadn't really thought about it…"
Ino laughed and plopped down on the couch next to her best friend. "I know. For a genius, you're an idiot. I know you're not dealing with any of this well. You said she's insulted you; why?"
"She's implied all I want to do is rape her when I suggested we share a bed 'cause we're gonna have to eventually and told me I'm a sexist pig when I told her she would be able to plan her own wedding. She locked me out of the bedroom last night, made me clean up from the dinner I cooked… she shows me no courtesy whatsoever. I'm trying to be nice and she just shits all over it."
"Maybe she needs a good talking to, a punch to the face, a hit over the head with a frying pan…? Where is she, by the way?"
"She's at mom's, talking to her about the wedding."
"At least she believes you on that count."
Shikamaru nodded.
"See, you're not happy," Ino pointed out when the Nara refused to talk after that. "Maybe I should talk to her sometime soon."
The man glared at her. "Don't meddle."
But Ino stood her ground. "If things don't get better in a few days, then I'm stepping in. Just because you're trying to be nice to her doesn't mean you should throw your happiness away too."
"Fine. I think I can manage that," Shikamaru agreed before they fell into mindless chatter, the conversation carried more by Ino than Shikamaru. The man was completely willing to let her talk her little heart out, as long as she wasn't mad at him for anything, he let her do whatever she wanted… well, as long as it didn't make Temari angry at him.
&~o~o~o~o~o~o~&
Three days later found Shikamaru running for the hills. Well, he was running for his parent's house; it was the only safe haven he knew of because it had always been safe. He'd tried to be civil, tried to be kind, tried to be understanding, but she just kept throwing it back in his face, and he was not taking it anymore!
Everything had started out like a normal day. They'd gotten out of bed (that they were indeed sharing because they would have to get used to it), gotten dressed, and gone about their day. Then one of Shikamaru's attempts to be nice over dinner was thrown back in his face with a:
"Stop patronizing me! I've given up everything to be here because I love my village! I'll do anything for it, even marry you!"
To which Shikamaru responded, "You've given up everything to be here? You left your village, big whoop. Until a week ago, I was a bachelor living at home. Now I'm suddenly responsible for a house, a wife, bills; I barely have a job! You've given up everything to be here? What about me? I've tried so hard to understand, to be nice and you just keep throwing it back at me.
"You don't want me here: fine. I'll leave, we'll still get married and we just won't ever see each other 'cause we obviously can't figure anything out."
And Shikamaru had left. She hadn't even attempted to follow.
When Shikamaru arrived at his parents' house, he found his father sitting in the kitchen with a mountain of jonin missives, drinking a bottle of chilled sake. The man didn't even seem surprised to see his only son walk in. It was almost like he'd been waiting for him.
The chair opposite the older Nara slid out from its resting place and the young man took his seat, knowing that his dad had indeed been waiting for him.
"Shit's hit the fan?" the older man rasped, not even looking up from his paperwork.
"Yeah… She's only thinking about herself."
"And who are you thinking about?" the older man's question hit it on the head, really.
"Mostly her. Trying to make things easier for her to transition into, but it's been a week and she's still yelling at me for every little thing, good and bad. I make her breakfast; it's burnt. I bring her a mug of tea; it's too hot. I make dinner; I'm a lousy cook. I try to go out with Naruto, Kiba and Chouji; I should be home helping her unpack because she's 'given up everything to be here'," Shikamaru shifted slightly. "Admittedly, I try to do things so she'll shut up for half a minute, but a man can only take so much criticism before he snaps."
"Which happened tonight." It wasn't a question; Shikaku rarely asked them.
"Correct."
Shikaku looked up and met his son's eyes. "What're you gonna do about it?"
"I don't know," the young man slumped back into his chair and accepted the proffered alcohol when it was offered – his father had never had any qualms about letting Shikamaru drink as a child and he didn't have any now. "Let her cool off and go home and see what happens? I don't even know how she'll react."
"That's the problem with women, but without them, there'd be no us."
"I know, but why does she have to be so difficult to be around. I can't even say she just moved like I could early on. She's had time to come to terms with what she's doing here. It almost seems time to talk things out, but if she's not ready to, then we'll get nowhere."
"Your first plan of action seems the way to go at the moment. Relax some, drink some, crash in your bed, and see what morning brings. That's the only way I can deal with your mother sometimes," Shikaku refilled his son cup.
"But you and Ma were a love match; Temari and me are arranged."
"Quit whining about it and make the best of what you have. It may not be love now, but living with someone for the rest of your life can bring unexpected revelations to a relationship," the older man said vaguely.
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "You figured out Ma prefers the left side of the bed to the right?"
"Stop being a smartass."
"Sun: stop shining," Shikamaru replied.
Shikaku smirked and Shikamaru felt lighter. His problems weren't gone, but his dad had been where he was standing sometime in his past and would help him in his own, figure-it-out-yourself kind of way – the same method he'd been using on Shikamaru since he could walk.
Hours later, Shikamaru left his familiar childhood bedroom through the window and wandered back to his house, expecting to find Temari sitting up, waiting to explode at him about leaving when he could have been doing something else. But the house was dark, so Shikamaru frowned as he entered, almost expecting an ambush. He crept through the house to the bedroom without incident, and found Temari sleeping. It was completely unexpected, but it was relieving.
The young man fully entered the room and stripped to his boxers, not even bothering with sleep pants. If she wanted to bitch about it in the morning, then she would and he would tune her out. When he slid between the sheets, he was shocked to realize Temari was willingly laying her head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his midriff. Cuddling was something they'd never engaged in before. In fact, she liked to keep as far away from him as possible when they went to bed, probably still thinking he was out to violate her while she slept.
So she was awake. Was she apologizing or planning her next insult?
A whispered 'sorry' answered his question. He cautiously wrapped his own arm around her waist and relaxed his muscles, trying to get comfortable without moving too much.
"'m sorry too…" he whispered back.
"You didn't do anything except try to be helpful."
Silence.
Then, "You're not gonna kill me in my sleep, are you?"
Temari laughed, "No."
"Good, 'cause that would just ruin everything…"
And they settled in to sleep properly, her head resting on his chest in a brief moment of understanding between two so alike.
&~o~o~o~o~o~o~&
Masked-Writer-In-Disguise: and there she is!