Chapter 23

It was early in the morning, the sun had just come out but Paul was already up and about to start his day, after drinking a cup of coffee at his porch. He got used to waking up before the sunrise and enjoyed the serenity of these early hours. That serenity lasted for the whole day of course, thanks to the fact that he chose to live in a quiet environment. His wooden house was built by him and it was located in the edge of a forest. It was small but cozy, simply furnished and decorated, with a stone fireplace in order to warm the frozen atmosphere of the winter. When he had drunk his last sip of coffee, he washed his cup, got into his truck and drove for almost an hour to the closest town, where he had been working as a super market employee for many years. He took the road back home late in the afternoon and although he spent about two hours daily behind the wheel, he didn't mind at all. He preferred to live in the woods. That little house was his shelter. How good he felt in it! Isolated, away from the clatter, streets and cars, hearing only the wind blowing among the trees and the birds tweeting. This is exactly why he was so stunned, when he saw a car parked out of his house the moment he returned.

''Hello?'', he said approaching in caution the unknown vehicle.

''I can't blame you for not wanting to come back. So would I''.

''Andy! What a wonderful surprise!'', Paul said laughing and ran to hug his brother. ''It's been so long since I last saw you!'', he said with his voice slightly trembling. ''Come inside''. A while later, the two brothers were sitting near the fireplace, holding their cups of hot tea and discussing vividly. ''She is so pretty!'', Paul said looking at Annie's photograph, which Andy had in his wallet.

''She is an excellent kid too. When you get to know her, you will absolutely love her''.

''Yeah… Now she grew up a little, I hope they'll come for vacation with Heather. Oh, how long has it been… The last time I saw them it was at Annie's birth'', he said clearly feeling nostalgic.

''It would be great! And if they don't bring Dean along, it will be even better!''

''You still can't stand him, right?''

''Of course and he has never done anything to change my opinion. On the contrary, he has reinforced it with time'', he said leaning his head on the back of the armchair with a sigh. ''He was never the right husband for our sister. He never deserved her and even though I saw it from the start, she can't see it even now. No matter how hard I've tried to explain it to her, she never listens. It's like she is enchanted and can't get away from him''.

''I know how you feel. Heather is our sister, we care for her and we wish her the best. But unfortunately we can't force her to do something she doesn't want to. As much as we disagree with her choice, it's done and we have to accept it''.

''Yes, I know that. It's just… Sometimes, when I see the sadness in her eyes… It's too hard'', Andy confessed looking at the flames and remained silent for a long time.

''Imagine…'', Paul suddenly said. ''If Dean had married Deirdre, he wouldn't have been a part of our family and Heather would have avoided this marriage''. Andy looked at him totally surprised. Whenever they talked, he had never said her name, not even once.

''Since you mentioned Deirdre…'', he started but his brother raised his hand and did not allow him to continue.

''Andy, you don't have to apologize anymore. This is ancient history''.

''Are you over her?'', he asked trying to see what he kept hidden in his heart.

''It doesn't matter'', he said after some thought. ''This story with Deirdre ended that evening… When she chose to obey her parents and put an end to us''.

''Paul, don't judge her. It was very difficult for her''.

''There is no reason to justify her actions. I judge from what I see. Deirdre abandoned our relationship in the first hardship. She didn't even think twice. This is not true love, Andy. I believed in us then but I was wrong. I used to think that it would be impossible to live without her and look at me now… For years I have lived without her''.

''Happy?'', Andy asked as he finished drinking his tea.

''You?'', he replied ironically. ''Are you happy with your life?''

''After many years…'', he said putting his empty cup on the coffee table. ''I can say that I am happy''.

''Congratulations, brother. I'm glad for you'', he said with a sincere smile. ''But why do you think that I'm unhappy?''

''I didn't say that'', Andy replied. '' I just… I don't know. You left, Paul. You left in order to fix your life somewhere else but…''

''But what?''

''But I don't see it. Excuse me for the way I speak… But there is a shadow in your eyes which makes me believe that your life here is not better than the life you'd have with us. You didn't run away from your problems, Paul. You ran away from your family. This burden you wanted to leave behind, you carried it with you and you have been carrying it alone for all those years. It's the same burden Deirdre is carrying''.

''What do you mean?'', Paul asked.

''I ran into her… Recently… She is still bitter. She thinks that I'm responsible for your break up''.

''Really? You should have told her that she's wrong. She is responsible for what happened'', he said and got up. He went near the window, from where during the daylight the view was marvelous, although now he could only see darkness.

''Can I ask you something?''. The fact that he gave no answer, showed that he wasn't willing to continue this conversation. Despite that, Andy went near him and looked at his eyes. ''Do you really think it's too late now?''

''Why are you asking me?''

''Because I'm certain that Deirdre still has feelings for you''. Hearing this, Paul grimaced sarcastically but Andy did not mind him. ''Trust me, she truly loved you, as much as you loved her. But my immaturity and her parents drove you away from one another. If you still love her though, don't you think it's a pity to waste more time? Don't you think it's time you did what your heart desires?''. Paul remained silent looking at the darkness outside. His brother had come to disturb his hard-earned serenity. For years his life ran peacefully like a river and Andy intended to throw him into the depths of the sea.

''I don't think that I have the courage to try again, Andy. I don't know if I want to''. He looked at him with an understanding look. He could see that his brother was not ready to make that decision and preferred to leave him alone. This discussion was enough for the moment. He now had to process it in his mind without distractions but not before he said one last thing.

''After so many years perhaps you have one more chance to find happiness. Think about it before you turn it down''.