Hawke
She visits me unexpectedly.
If she heard me say that, she would throw her head back and laugh saying "If you never expect anyone, then every visit is unexpected." She would be right to say so.
I'm used to being invisible. As Danarius' bodyguard, no one would openly acknowledge my presence. As a slave, I was just part of the machinery that kept the household running. As a free elf among humans, I was just another elf. I have never, to my knowledge, been sought out for myself.
It's equal parts incredibly flattering and frightening.
Hawke always brings a surprise with her; a fancy pastry, fresh fruit, a polishing cloth for my weapons, anything that would catch her eye that she thinks I may need or want. It was so confusing to me the first few times it happened.
She simply smiled my discomfort away and made herself completely at home, somehow without making me feel encroached upon. I have no idea how she does it. Varric once joked that my personal space reaches all the way to the Gallows. I don't think he's far wrong.
I don't know why she keeps coming.
I am not a gracious host. I never have anything to offer except the odd bottle of wine. When I listen to myself speak, I marvel at how cutting everything sounds. That's why I tend to keep quiet.
But Hawke gets me to talk. She gets me to share. She makes me want to open up.
And while the feeling is exhilarating to speak freely, it frightens me deeply.
When she leaves, all the comfort she brings leaves with her. And I'm left with just my own dry thoughts and dreadful memories. The cold winds of my mind chill me.
Sometimes I wish I was invisible to her too, but now that I know what her attention feels like, I don't ever want to give it up.