First of all, let me say that I am definitely the type of person who finishes what she starts, but for some reason, most of my writing doesn't fall into that category, especially fanfiction. I'm not sure exactly why that is--it's not because I don't want to, because I do--but it's obviously true that I don't follow through, as I haven't updated any of my stories in two years.

I never thought I'd see the day that I updated anything on here, especially this story, but here it is. I don't know what sparked it--maybe it was the unexpected review I got from prettilitTLepoison last week, maybe it was the sudden urge I got to log in to my account and look at some of my past stories, or maybe it was the sudden burst of ideas I got on how to continue this story. All I know is, my writer's block for this story has left me for the moment, and unlike before, I actually have some idea now of where I want this to go. This story has been left unfinished now for too long, so how about I finish it?

All right, so this is the third chapter. If you haven't read this in a while (I know I hadn't), I would strongly suggest going back and rereading the first two chapters before you go on. That's probably an obvious choice, though, so I'm gonna quit this ridiculous backstory to my update and let you actually read the story. One more thing, though--something I just thought was kinda neat. In 2005, when I was still working on this story, I actually did write some of this chapter, and what I did write I kept in, meaning that between the first three sentences and the rest of the chapter, there is actually a two-year gap in writing!

Anyway, I shall keep the rest of this ridiculousness to myself. Enjoy the long-awaited chapter three.

I never, in a million years, would've thought I'd be here doing this right now, Kyle thought.

They yet again lay upon the couch, kissing feverishly. Kyle smiled through occupied lips as a hand reached to his hair and gently played with his curls. His thoughts were broken, however, at the sound of Cartman's doorbell. Cursing violently, Cartman jumped from the couch to get the door, quickly motioning Kyle to open his textbooks for today's "tutoring" session. Cartman's frown quickly turned into a glare when he saw Stan standing at the other side of the door.

"Is Kyle here?"

"What? No, 'Hey Cartman. How are you doing today?'"

"Hey fatass. Is Kyle here?" Stan paused and grinned. "Better?"

Cartman squinted his eyes in annoyance. "Yes, he's here. Who wants to know?"

"I'd like to talk to him."

"Whatever." With that, Cartman walked away from the door, going back over to Kyle and the couch to sit down. "Stan's here."

"Why?" Kyle asked. Cartman merely shrugged and grabbed one of the textbooks laying out, glancing at its pages with a slight expression of boredom on his face.

Kyle bit his lip, nervous for some reason as he went over to greet Stan. Stan wasn't going to talk to him about his tutoring sessions with Cartman, was he? Stan couldn't know what was really going on. They were being way too secretive for that to happen.

"Hey, Stan. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much. I was just wondering if you had tonight's homework for…" Stan paused for what seemed like an eternity, leaving Kyle puzzled. Then he simply said, "You look flushed."

Kyle's eyes widened for a brief moment. He scanned the room for a second, trying to think of a good excuse. Then he scoffed. "Well, yeah. You would be too if you had to constantly battle that fat fuck over there."

"AY!" Cartman, who had taken to eavesdropping on Stan and Kyle's conversation, grunted from across the room.

Stan shook his head. "Oh. I hear you. I know how you guys can get."

Kyle tried to hide his continually reddening cheeks as he thought about what had been happening before Stan came to the door. "Oh, you don't know the half of it. I don't know why I even bother to try to tutor him," Kyle remarked, giving an eye roll that was just a bit too over-the-top.

"Hmm," was Stan's reply. He looked confused. "Then why do you, if he gets on your nerves so much?"

"Well, I really need the money," Kyle answered quickly.

Stan raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said it was a volunteer service."

Oh, shit, that's right. I guess I'm getting used to lying, Kyle thought. "Well, it is," Kyle said, drawing his words out slowly to give himself time to think of a cover up, "but since Cartman's such an annoying douche bag and no one else will tutor his stupid ass, Cartman's mom pays me a little extra so I won't bail out."

"Oh. That's pretty sweet, I guess."

"Yeah, but still, no money in the world could ever make me enjoy being around Cartman so much, unfortunately."

But that's because I don't need money for that, Kyle mused, making a strange but nice revelation.

"That sucks, dude. Hey, if you ever need somebody else here so you don't totally want to kick Cartman's ass every time you try to teach him something, I'd be glad to do it. Well, I can't say I'd be glad to do it, but I would do it…"

Kyle wrinkled his nose. "No, that's okay," he spewed out a little more quickly than he probably should have. Seeing Stan's offended expression, Kyle tried to rectify his response. "I mean, I don't want to have to bring you into all that, Stan. I know you have a lot better things to do than watch me and Cartman argue."

"Like I said, I would do it…" Stan replied, a strangely serious look on his face.

Kyle gave a light chuckle at Stan's intensity. "Thanks for the offer, dude, but I don't think it'll be necessary." He glanced back at Cartman, who, Kyle could tell, was pretending not to listen to them. "Well, Stan, if you don't mind, I really need to get back to tutoring Cartman so I can get it over with for today."

"Sure, dude. Just one thing…" He glanced at Kyle, who, for some reason, was still looking at Cartman. "Kyle?"

Kyle quickly turned around, trying to feign a look of disgust from watching Cartman. "Yeah, dude?"

"The homework assignment?"

It took Kyle a few moments to process this information. "Oh…yeah! For which class?"

"Biology."

"No problem. I have today's assignment with my notes. I'll go get it for you." Kyle went over to the coffee table, retrieving a notebook that was laying under a pile of books. Stan watched Kyle as he walked by Cartman. The two shared a stare that seemed to go on a second too long, which Stan thought was odd. Maybe they were both still fuming a little over the fight they were having before he came in.

"Here you go, dude," Kyle said brightly as he walked back over to Stan. "I've already done the homework on a separate sheet, so you can keep the notebook for tonight. Just remember to bring it back to me in the morning."

Stan smiled a little, chuckling inside at how possessive Kyle could be with his schoolbooks. "Thanks, Kyle."

Stan glanced at Kyle one more time before turning to leave, but he stopped suddenly when he realized that something about this situation was very out of place. Stan needed to know what was going on right now.

"Hey Kyle, why aren't you wearing your hat? You always wear it."

Kyle's eyes bulged. "I'm not wearing it?" Quickly, he touched the top of his head.

Cartman took it off.

"Shit, you're right. It must've fallen off when I tried to choke Cartman earlier and he pinned me to the ground, trying to choke me."

Well, that's the half-truth, Kyle thought. Cartman did kinda pin me down earlier.

"Are you sure you don't me to stay and watch over you guys?" Stan asked again, worried.

Events from ten minutes ago kept replaying in Kyle's head. "No, definitely not." Kyle shook his head. "Don't worry, Stan. I can handle myself."

"All right, dude, if you say so. See you tomorrow."

"Sure thing." With that, Stan left the Cartman residence, an unfamiliar feeling of discomfort settling into his stomach, which Stan shrugged off as nothing.

Kyle abruptly shut the door behind him, drawing a deep breath as he went back over to sit at the couch with Cartman.

"He knows."

"Bullshit he does." Cartman shut the book he was "reading" and turned to look at Kyle. "There's no way that dumbass knows anything."

Kyle turned away from Cartman, looking instead at the floor for his misplaced hat. "First of all," Kyle said, finally retrieving his hat from under the coffee table and putting it on, "Stan is not a dumbass. And second of all, what makes you think he can't see right through us? He looked suspicious, Cartman."

Cartman rolled his eyes and scoffed. "That's not my fault. You're the one who can't keep your cool about it. You were about to piss yourself over there with Stan." He paused and added as a footnote, "Pansy."

Kyle glared at Cartman with anger-filled eyes. "Fuck you."

"Fuck you, you pansy piece of Jewish shit." Cartman retorted, knocking off Kyle's hat violently.

Silence filled the room for several heated moments until the two's faces collided in an aggressive kiss. Grabbing each other vigorously, Cartman and Kyle ended up falling to the floor, where they began to mutter sweet nothings during breaks for air.

"I hate you, Cartman."

"I hate you more, Kyle."

A minute later, they were interrupted once again, this time with the ringing of the telephone.

"God DAMMIT!" Cartman shouted, stomping over to the phone to answer it. "What the FUCK do you want?" he practically screamed into the receiver.

"Jesus, Cartman, what crawled up your ass?" came a voice from the other end of the line.

"Hey, Kenny."

"Seriously, though, what the hell's wrong with you?"

"Not that it's any of your business, Kenny, but…" Cartman paused, trying to think of something believable to say, "I was just about to go take a shit, and you interrupted me. So if you don't mind…"

"Ugh, sorry I asked. Hey, I thought you had tutoring today," Kenny added quickly.

"I do."

"Then why are you taking up all of Kyle's time to take a shit?"

"Fuck Kyle. He can wait." Cartman was getting tired of this conversation. "So what do you want, Kenny?"

Cartman seems irritable today, Kenny thought. More so than usual. "I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out today, um, after you're done shitting and getting tutored."

"I don't know, Kenny. I'm busy now. Call back later." Cartman mumbled quickly, trying to hurry Kenny off the phone.

"All right, Cartman." He paused. "Are you sure you're okay?"

What's with all the questions? This is bullshit! "Yes, God dammit, I'm fine! Just leave me alone a'eady!" Cartman barked into the phone.

"Fine," Kenny replied, and Cartman took this as his cue to hang up. Jeez, Kenny thought. Either Cartman really, really has to take a shit, or something strange is going on. He seemed…distracted. But then again, he did eat three school burritos at lunch today…eh, whatever. I don't know.

"Fuckin' FINALLY!" Cartman shouted. He looked over at Kyle, who was staring at him with a smug look on his face.

"Wow, Cartman, you sure do know how to keep your cool. You certainly showed me."

"What are you talking about, Jew?"

"I'm sure Kenny doesn't suspect a thing."

Cartman rolled his eyes and sat back down on the couch. "I always talk to Kenny that way."

"Whatever." Kyle looked around the room, thinking. "Cartman, I think we need to talk about something."

"Talk about what?" Cartman's eyes looked slightly hesitant. Kyle didn't want to stop what they had going on, did he?

Kyle noticed Cartman's worried look and smiled inwardly. Cartman could be almost cute sometimes. "It's nothing bad. I just—I mean, I know we have this silent agreement not to say anything about what's been going on between us,"—with this, they both smiled slightly—"but I think we should make it official. I think we should make a pact that under any circumstances, we won't tell anyone about us. We both know neither of us would ever live it down if people found out."

"Maybe you wouldn't be able to live it down, but I'd be fine. I'd just kick everybody's asses."

"Cartman, promise me…"

Cartman melted just a little bit at the sight of Kyle's pleading. Goddamn Jew tactics. He pretended not to be affected by this. "Fine," he replied, with little emotion. "I promise. But you need to learn how to lie better."

"Fine. I guess next time I'm with you and Stan asks what I'm doing, I'll just tell him I'm taking a shit."

"Ay! It's a good excuse! People always need to shit!"

Kyle laughed at their bickering. "Whatever, Cartman…" Kyle glanced at the time. He'd have to be home for dinner soon. "Well, I guess we should hurry up and finish this 'tutoring' session…"

"I guess you're right, Jew…" Cartman replied, turning to face Kyle on the couch.

Their faces inched closer, and Cartman began to run his fingers through Kyle's hair. As they were face-to-face, Cartman kissed Kyle with a gentleness Kyle didn't expect and spoke to him softly.

"Don't worry, Kyle. No one will ever know."