Waah! Thank you for reading! This was really good to get out of my system! I'm so happy that you guys liked it enough to finish!
Chances are in a few weeks I'll go back and clean up the first chapter so I don't scare so many people off with the rape. But until then, thank you so much for reading! You guys are the best!
For more on Prussia after, see crocious' "My Brother's Smile." It's the same universe, modern day.
Lithuania led Prussia around the house a few times, slowly and patiently. Every few steps, Prussia would have to lean against the wall and pant in exhaustion. The muscles in his legs were worryingly atrophied.
"Don't overdo it," Lithuania murmured as Prussia slumped against the wall. "You're going to be really sore tomorrow."
Prussia grinned giddily. "Do you know how long it's been since I've been able to walk? I don't care how bad it hurts tomorrow, I wanna keep going!"
Lithuania smiled softly. "I'm worried that you'll hurt yourself. At least take a break?"
The hall filled with delicate footsteps and both men stiffened.
"It's just me," Ukraine said, coming around the corner. She had a fresh black eye and Lithuania ran to her to examine it.
"Katyusha, that looks really bad!"
"It's not so bad," she smiled painfully. "I just came to tell you Ivan's locked himself in his room. So you can relax."
Prussia breathed a sigh of relief and made his way to Ukraine.
"Did Russia do that to you because of me?"
Ukraine waved her hand nonchalantly. "He doesn't really need a reason these days. He's been stressing himself out enough over bills and things."
Prussia looked at the floor and blushed. "Katyusha… thank you."
Ukraine pulled Prussia into a tight hug and kissed his head. "You are not alone, Gilbert," she said. "You have people that care about you and want you to be happy. This house is filled with people who understand you and want you around. Please remember that."
Prussia tried to pull his face out of Ukraine's breasts. "I'm sorry."
"Just don't ever scare us like that again, okay? Once is too often, twice is a heart attack. I don't know what three times is, and I am not eager to find out."
Prussia smiled and yawned.
"Let's get you to bed," Lithuania said.
Prussia's eyes widened as he thought of freezing concrete, the ropes, that horrible stain he knew would still be there. He began to tremble.
Ukraine pulled him to her chest once more. "We're not putting you back down there, Gilbert. You will use Elizaveta's bed, is that okay?"
Prussia nearly laughed in relief. "O-okay."
Ukraine and Lithuania led Prussia to an empty room. Prussia looked in and laughed.
"That's so Liz!"
The room was an absolute mess. Hungary was usually very neat, but she told Prussia that she was purposely messing up her room to spite Russia. There were newspaper articles tacked haphazardly to the wall, some relevant, others simply to be obnoxious. The sheets and blanket were mussed and looked as if she hadn't made her bed once since the occupation. The floor was covered in clothes, books and other odds and ends Hungary had decided, for one reason or another, not to take with her as she fled. The only thing that didn't look as if Hungary had attacked it was a neat little Bible at the foot of her bed.
Ukraine moved to pick up the floor, but Prussia stopped her. "Wait. Can we… can we leave it like this for a while?"
Ukraine looked confused, but she stood up. "There should be some spare pajamas in the dresser. You've lost so much weight, they'll probably fit."
Prussia laughed weakly as Ukraine left. Lithuania looked around nervously.
"I know you'd like some privacy…"
"Toris, relax," Prussia smiled warmly. "I feel safe here. I'm not going to do anything."
Lithuania bit his lip. "Even so, Russia would probably kill me if I let you sleep alone tonight. I'll be back in an hour with some medicine, okay?"
"Thank you, Toris."
Lithuania gave one last uneasy look around the room and shut the door behind him. Prussia sighed in relief.
Putting on the nightclothes was a struggle, considering Prussia was still so weak. But he managed, taking care to be gentle with his arm. He moved his arms around, loving the feeling of having fabric, even coarse, worn fabric, protecting him. He hugged himself and sat in on the bed, sighing in pleasure as the hard mattress gave into his weight.
He didn't want to be creepy or anything, but as he sank under the covers, he couldn't help but notice Hungary's scent- a mix of fresh bread, honeysuckle and grass. Prussia pressed his face into her pillow.
"Please be safe," he whispered. "Please be okay."
Prussia accidentally kicked the Bible off the bed and started. It had been ages since he thought about God, but kicking a Bible seemed intuitively sacrilegious. He picked it up and traced the cover.
"You'll look out for her, right?" he asked the book. "You'll make sure she gets home okay? I can't remember if that's in you jurisdiction or whatever."
The Bible tumbled from his fingers into his lap. Prussia picked it back up and his eyes widened at the revealed page, written neatly in Hungary's distinct hand. She had apparently replaced all the original Bible pages with her journal.
That was definitely sacrilegious.
Curiously, Prussia turned to the very first page. Hungary's handwriting looked up at him sadly.
"Dear God. Please forgive me for writing in the Holy Bible. I've been praying every night, but you don't seem to hear me. So I guess this is a bum Bible anyway, but it still seems wrong."
Prussia smiled and lay back as he read. He could almost hear Liz's voice speaking.
"I'm scared, God. Ivan finally let me out of the basement after I begged and begged, and he promises he won't hurt me anymore, but I don't want to sleep. I'm terrified that he'll come through the door tonight."
Prussia turned red and flipped the page. Maybe the rest of Hungary's diary was fair game, but that stuff was private. That was hers alone unless she asked him to listen.
He flipped through a few more pages absently and came to an angry scrawl.
"Dear God. Please kick Russia in the balls."
Prussia laughed and flipped until he caught sight of his name.
"God, I know we have to deliver ourselves from the Deadly Sins, but it's really, really hard for Gilbert. He insists that "surrender" is a bad word in German. I keep telling him not to be so stupid; Ivan doesn't recognize what he's doing as pride. But he insists that he's not going to lose to that psychopath. He's playing an entirely different game! So somehow the dumbass (forgive me) has decided to play this insane game of chicken against Ivan, who isn't even looking at the road. Gilbert is going to get himself killed. Please, please make him see."
Prussia frowned and flipped the page.
"Dear God. Is this a test? Are you testing us to see if we're worthy of Heaven? By sending us to Hell first? Latvia is getting very sick and I can't stretch our food any further. By this point, the stew is more water than potato. We haven't had meat in You know how long and the kid just won't grow. He needs real food, badly. We all do. I hate to even think it, but if Gilbert wasn't on another stupid hunger strike, Latvia may have ended up in the hospital this week. He's my best friend, God. It kills me that he's doing this to himself, but he probably saved Raivis' life. Why is this happening to us?"
Prussia turned the page.
"God, if you're there I need you. Please. Send me a sign. Anything. Shooting star, extra eggs, sun. I'll even take a good dream. I haven't had a good dream in so long, God. Everything is blood and dying and hunger and Gilbert. Just let me dream about Feli's smile. Or Roderich. Or home. Let me dream about home. Please, God. Give me anything. I want so much to believe that you're watching us and looking out for us. I want so badly to believe that everything's going to be okay. I want to hope, God. Please let me hope. Please. Send me a sign. I need you to let me know you're real."
Prussia trembled as he turned the page. A tear slipped down his nose.
"Dear Diary," it read.
Prussia traced the words with his finger and sobbed.
"Oh, Liz…"
…
The next thing Prussia knew, Lithuania was shaking him awake. Prussia sat up and Lithuania smiled apologetically.
"Take some medicine and go back to sleep, okay?"
Prussia looked distastefully at the foul liquid in the cup. "Do I have to?"
"Only if you want to get better."
Prussia sighed and swirled the syrup around. "Toris… Do you think Liz is okay?"
Lithuania sat on the edge of the bed and smiled. "Elizaveta has decimated entire armies just to get home for lunch. She's still that scary, rough, incredible little girl. I'm sure she's fine."
Prussia felt the diary under his pillow and bit his lip. "I mean… can she be happy again? After all this?"
"You're stalling," Lithuania said. "Drink the medicine."
Prussia laughed and drank. He gagged. "Ugh, that's horrible!"
"Sorry," Lithuania said. He pulled the covers over Prussia's shoulders and Prussia laid down.
"So?" Prussia asked.
Lithuania threw his arm over Prussia's chest and lay next to him. "Elizaveta is one of the strongest people I know. And she's never happier than when she gets to fight for something. I'm sure wherever she is by now, she's practically giddy."
"Why? She left. What's she have to fight for now?"
Lithuania closed his eyes and stroked Prussia's hair. "She'll fight for you."
Prussia blushed. "Me?"
"Oh yes," Lithuania smiled. "When she gets home, the very first thing she's going to do after a long, long bath is load her guns and get her horse ready. She's coming back for you."
Prussia smiled. "Heh. She just can't resist me, can she?"
Lithuania yawned. "The sun will go out before Elizaveta ever goes back on her word."
And like that, Prussia and Lithuania drifted off into dreamless sleep.
…
Prussia stood at the door, paralyzed with nervous energy. Russia had given everyone the day off for some reason and Estonia suggested that it might be the perfect opportunity for Prussia to walk around outside for the first time in years. Ukraine had lovingly wrapped Prussia in three coats and her own scarf. It had been weeks since that day and Prussia was getting stronger- otherwise, the sheer weight of the clothing would have brought him to his knees.
Lithuania waved to Prussia encouragingly to step out. Prussia took a deep breath and, smiling, walked onto the porch.
The sun was blinding. That had to be the reason his eyes suddenly filled with tears. Against Russia's November snow, light bounced with the grace of a hyperactive child carrying a machine gun. It felt unwieldy. It felt painful.
It felt wonderful.
Prussia looked up into the rare blue sky and wept. The air was clean and crisp and it burned Prussia's lungs, but he took heavy, grateful gulps. The icy wind bit his frail skin and it felt like it was being torn. But he loved it. He loved it more than anything.
"Gilbert?" Latvia called. "Is everything okay?"
Prussia wiped his face hurriedly. "Yeah, great. I just can't move in the stupid snow."
Prussia suddenly felt the urge to look back at the house. His eyes traced the chipped brick foundation, the decaying wood, the patched roof. It looked so weak.
Prussia's eyes suddenly met Russia's from the kitchen window. Russia had dark circles under his eyes from not enough sleep. His face was bloodless, empty. He lifted the bottle of vodka to his lips and Prussia turned back to face the sun.
"Toris," he called. "I want to see the Wall."
Lithuania put down his snowball in surprise just as Latvia's made contact with the back of his head.
"Oof. Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I just need to see it."
Lithuania left Ukraine, Estonia and Latvia to their snowball fight and joined Prussia. "Seeing it isn't going to change anything, you know."
Prussia put on his best smirk. "I just wanna see where the world ends."
Lithuania frowned and walked ahead of Prussia, making sure to leave clean footsteps in the snow for Prussia to walk in.
Lithuania led him for hours, walking slowly. Prussia had the vague sense that someone was following them, but he didn't want to look back.
Lithuania shivered nervously. "Is it-"
"Probably," Prussia shrugged.
Lithuania gulped. "I don't want to fight Russia…"
"I don't think he's coming to fight," Prussia said. "I think he's just watching."
Lithuania looked back. "Creepy."
"I know." They passed a dilapidated tool shed and a misused road. Though it was winter, a lone man was trying to break up the asphalt with a sledgehammer. Or that's what Prussia thought he must have been doing. Otherwise, he was just being weird.
And suddenly, he saw it.
The Berlin Wall rose like a grey scar between the earth and the sky. Prussia stopped in his tracks and his breath escaped him.
Lithuania looked back sympathetically. "Are you okay?"
And then Prussia was running. The snow was deep and his legs were still weak, but he ran and tumbled and crawled to the wall. His face burned with cold and tears and ice and he crawled and tumbled until he came to the wall.
Lithuania chased after him. "Gilbert, wait! You're going to hurt yourself!"
Prussia put his gloved hand to the wall, half expecting a heartbeat from the monster that kept him from home. He pressed his face to the icy stone and sobbed.
Eighteen inches. He was eighteen inches from home. Eighteen inches from West and Liz and beer and safety. Eighteen inches of stone. Eighteen inches of barbed wire. Eighteen inches of prison.
Lithuania caught up with him, panting into the thin air. "Gilbert, you need to save your strength."
Prussia fell to his knees and sobbed into the wall. "I… I want to go home…"
Lithuania hugged him from behind.
A cold voice swam sickeningly through the icy air. "I try to tell you, comrade. That is not your home anymore."
"Ivan, stop," Lithuania said to the bundled figure behind him.
Russia tilted his head innocently. "Home is where people care for you and wait for you to come back. There is nothing like that for you on the other side of that wall. Only here. Now come back home and I will make you some soup, da?"
"Enough!" Lithuania shouted. "You're hurting him!"
Prussia trembled silently. Russia was right. There was a letter postmarked from Hungary that came a few days ago, but Russia had burned it as soon as he'd read it.
"It is too sad for you to think about," he'd told Prussia. Images of Hungary flashed through Prussia's mind and the immense impossibility that she and every hope of home could be dead. He'd excused himself from the breakfast table and got sick in the bathroom.
Even if Hungary had somehow managed to get home, what were the chances that she'd still think about Prussia enough to want to come back for him? And even if she did care enough, when she left he had been in bad shape. Who would risk re-imprisonment for somebody who was probably already dead?
And it had been thirty years since he'd last seen his brother. What were the chances that West still even remembered him, let alone wanted him back? Even if Prussia could get through eighteen inches of concrete, where would he go if he had no home anymore?
Russia was right. The decrepit prison house was the only home left to him. At least there, people would be happy to see him. Even through the torture of a slow death of starvation and anonymity, there were people he would share it with and they would be able to die quietly, together. Such was Communism, he supposed.
Prussia looked up at Lithuania helplessly. Lithuania silently held him.
"Come home," Russia said. "You are one with Russia, now."
Prussia leaned against the wall and stood up. He'd been kidding himself when thought he'd heard yelling from the wall last night. There was nothing on the other side. Nothing.
"G-Gilbert…" the air moaned.
Prussia looked around. "What was that?"
"Gilbert…!"
Prussia looked around to see if anyone else heard it. The crazy old man with the sledgehammer came up behind Russia to watch the three curiously.
"Did you hear that?" Prussia asked hopefully.
"G-Gilbert! GILBERT! Gott verdammt! Bruder!"
Prussia's heart skipped a beat and his heart jumped into his throat. "W-West?" he whispered.
Lithuania laughed as tears spilled down his face. The empty wall screamed and thudded as hidden fists beat against it.
"GILBERT! GILBERT! Please, mein Gott, please!"
Suddenly Hungary's voice joined him. "Ludwig, stop! You're going to hurt yourself!" Prussia broke into a sob.
"Sh-she's okay!"
Winter swirled around Russia and the crazy man edged away.
"BRUDER! Can you hear me? BRUDER!"
A shuddering laugh escaped Prussia's throat. "Shut up, West!" he yelled back. "I hear you!"
The pounding stopped. "G-Gilbert? You're there?"
"Oh my god," Hungary sobbed. "You're okay! Gil, you're okay!"
"Ve!" a familiar voice chimed in. "I hear him too! Is that really you, Gilbert?"
Prussia hugged the wall as if he could reach his family through it. "Liz… we thought you were dead!"
"There isn't a thing in the world that could keep me down!"
Prussia laughed happily, tears streaming down his face. He briefly looked at Lithuania to make sure the voices weren't just in his head. Lithuania wept happily and grinned.
"Get back over here, arsloch," Germany's voice said gruffly. "It's your turn to take out the trash!"
"Screw you, dummkopf!"
Prussia looked wildly around at the townspeople slowly surrounding the wall. Lithuania ran up to the stone and shouted his relief over to Hungary.
"I can't believe you're okay!"
"Toris!" she shouted back. "Is everyone okay?"
"We are now! I can't believe you made it! You're amazing!"
Meanwhile, Prussia caught Russia's violet eyes.
"I'm going home," he said.
Prussia grabbed the sledgehammer out of the crazy man's hands and silently dared Russia to stop him. Russia stood emptily.
Lithuania caught sight of Prussia. "What are you doing with that?"
"Move aside, Toris!" Prussia shouted. He swung the hammer and the concrete trembled as he hit it.
"Don't overdo it," Lithuania shouted. "You're still not completely healthy!"
"I'll rest when I'm dead!" Prussia shouted as he swung the hammer again. Bits of concrete fell like snow.
Prussia stopped to catch his breath and he heard it.
Shouting and pounding and laughing and shattering.
His family was coming for him.
Prussia threw the hammer to the ground and tore wall away from the hole he'd made. He saw pipe and wire and ripped them out with his gloves.
Lithuania took up the hammer and beat the concrete with him. There was shouting from the other side, laughing, horrible jokes and bets to see who could break through first.
Prussia wept happily and ripped the wall, piece by horrible piece. He suddenly saw a white hole in the other side and a beautiful, wonderful, incredible blue eye filled it.
"West!" Prussia cried.
"Bruder!"
They shoved their arms through the holes and grabbed each other's hands.
"Gilbert, I missed you so-"
"Less talky, more breaky!" Prussia yelled. They broke away and ripped the concrete away with a refreshed fury.
Lithuania joined him, ripping giant slabs of wall away. The hole got bigger and bigger until-
"LOOK OUT!" Hungary screamed.
The top of the wall tumbled, crumbling into dust and rocks. Prussia and Lithuania jumped away and yelped. There was a magnificent, beautiful, awesome crash. Prussia shielded his eyes and coughed the concrete dust out of his lungs.
He forced himself to look up. There, two feet in front of him, was home. Germany coughed violently and shook the dust out of his hair. Italy sneezed excitedly, trying to see through the cloud of dust. Hungary still looked haggard and worn, but her dirty face had long, clean tracks of tears. Austria held a large slab of concrete, his eyes betraying all kinds of emotions Prussia had never seen on him.
And then Prussia was jumping. He jumped on his little brother and wept into Germany's shoulder. Germany fell back onto the snow, laughing, sobbing, holding his brother as if he was terrified he was a dream. They held each other for the first time in thirty years, not bothering to be gentle or tender. The hugged as if they were the only anchors keeping the other from falling into the sky.
Hungary jumped on top of the pair, yelping in glee. She kissed every inch of Prussia she could reach, sobbing in happiness. She looked across the rubble to Lithuania and held out her hand.
Lithuania grinned. "Let me go get my things."
"Hurry," Prussia laughed. "You were right!"
Laughing, Lithuania ran back, past the crowd of people, past Russia.
Germany squeezed Prussia to his chest and cried into his hair. "Are you okay?"
"Of course I'm okay," Prussia laughed. "I'm always okay. I'm the king of okay!"
Hungary sobbed and held his wrist. "I was so scared…"
Prussia pressed her forehead to his lips. "I'm sorry, Liz. I didn't mean to hurt you."
She sobbed harder and brought his wrist to her lips. "I will kill you if you ever scare me like that again."
Germany buried his face in his brother's neck. "I missed you so much," he murmured.
"I missed you too, bruder."
"Ve!" Italy laughed. "Welcome home!"
Prussia looked up and wiped his face. Austria blushed and nodded at him. Italy's face streamed with happy tears. Hungary wept and trembled and laughed. Germany stared at Prussia, trying to burn his face in his memory.
Prussia smiled.
"I'm home."
Please ignore timeline issues for my sake, kay? I know Hungary opened up to Austria in May 1989 and the Berlin Wall came down in November. I am aware. But please ignore any chronology issues you think are dumb.
I can't help but smile whenever I think about the Berlin Wall. It's proof that ral life has happy endings