A/N: So I joined this site and posted my first story nine years ago today! Can't believe it's been that long! But anyway, figured it was a good day to post this next chapter. Enjoy!

And of course, reviews are appreciated. :)

I spot the Jew standing at the bus stop in the morning. None of the other guys are here yet.

Sweet.

"Hey fatass," Kyle greets me as he always does, even now when things are…different. I shrug off the thought and the feeling it brings out in the pit of my stomach, and I catch him smirking at me. My eyes are instantly directed toward his hat, and a wave of mischief that I can't explain—I'm seriously—suddenly goes through me. We're alone for the moment, and I have this strong urge to fuck with him. So I do. I snatch his hat off his head.

I grin evilly at him, and he does not look fucking pleased about it. "God dammit, Cartman!"

I, meanwhile, am having a goddamn ball and start running around in circles, keeping the hat away from him as he chases me. Finally I feel the weight of him against my back as he tackles me, trying to grab his hat from behind me.

"Just give it back, asshole!"

"No way, Kahl! I'm just doing you a favor! I keep telling you-you should be proud of that Jew fro of yours!" This is too much goddamn fun. I laugh, and I hear him start laughing too. I can't help but feel a little relieved that I'm not actually pissing him off. Don't get me wrong—I still love doing it, but not as much as I used to, I guess. Sometimes I like it better when he's not pissed off at me.

We're still both laughing as he tries to get his hands on the hat, but I swat them away, elbowing him off me so I can move in a new direction. But the Jew rat just switches tactics, moving his arms to reach from above rather than below. The added height from raising his arms up brings his head slightly closer to mine.

Fuck, I can feel his breath on the back of my neck.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" I feel a sudden and unpleasant rush of cold as Kyle quickly jumps as far away from me as he can get.

God fucking dammit. Of course that asshole Stan just had to show up right at this fucking moment. I look to the other side of me and see that other asshole, Kenny, approaching too.

I glance at Kyle and see him squirming like a nervous pansy. God dammit, Jews are supposed to be sneaky—why is this one so shitty at hiding this one simple thing?

Well, I guess it's not exactly simple. But whatever, fuck it. I glare at him to suck it up.

"What's going on, dudes?"

Kenny stands to the other side of me. He eyes the situation and looks over to that butthole Stan, who keeps glancing back and forth between Kyle and me. "That's what I was just asking," he says.

"Nothing's going on," Kyle replies, looking noticeably more pissed off now. "Cartman's just being a douche like always." He scowls at me, and I can't tell if this is for show or if he's really mad at me for starting all this. Realizing he's still without his hat, he grabs it away from my hands, shoving it quickly back on his head.

So much for that.

I scoff and pretend I'm not disappointed things had to end so abruptly.

The bus arrives before the lame-ass conversation Stan started can go any further. Kyle casts me one more nervous glance before going to sit beside Stan on the bus.

I sit with Kenny. We sit in silence for a minute as the bus starts moving, then out of nowhere he asks, "So…what just happened back there at the bus stop? I feel like I missed something."

I sigh in exasperation. Why do these guys have to ask so many questions?

"Nothing, Kenny. Kahl and I were just messing around, and Stan came up and started acting like a dildo for no reason."

"Oh." Kenny's eyes narrow a bit as if he's examining me. "You and Kyle were…messing around?"

"Yes, Kenny! It's not that big of a goddamn deal! Now just shut the fuck up and let me enjoy the rest of my bus ride in peace, you poor piece of crap!"

These guys are pissing me off so much today, I'm seriously. But Kenny looks away; I guess he doesn't care anymore.

Then I see who he's looking at.

That goddamn butthole.

Kenny gives me a look that says he's just as confused as I am. I give him a little nod, ignore an angry glare from Cartman, and turn back to Kyle, who's looking out the window, seething. I'm not sure why he's so mad. Did Cartman really piss him off that much before Kenny and I got there?

The weird thing is, it sure didn't sound that way at first. I could hear them both laughing before they knew I was there. I could swear I heard Kyle having a good time…with Cartman of all people.

…Who took his hat. I remember the last time Cartman tried that...it was a while ago, sometime last year, I think. I'm trying to remember what Kyle's reaction was…oh right, I know. He kicked Cartman in the balls. And Cartman hasn't tried it again since.

So what made today so different? Kyle didn't even look angry until after Kenny and I showed up. What's he trying to hide?

I need to get to the bottom of this. I know there's something going on that Kyle's not telling me about. I consider asking him a couple more questions, but he doesn't exactly look in the mood for it right now, so I just leave him alone for the remainder of the bus ride. Once we're at school, I let him go off without me and instead wait behind for Kenny.

"Hey Kenny, you got a minute?"

"Sure, dude. What's up?"

Cartman passes by us, giving me another death glare as he does so. Jesus Christ, what the fuck is his problem this morning? I fight the urge to scowl at him right back. I have no time to deal with his shit right now. I turn to Kenny, and we start walking into the school together.

"So…is this about Cartman and Kyle?" he asks.

"Yeah, exactly! I know Kyle's hiding something, but I have no idea what it is."

"I know what you mean. I got that same feeling from Cartman. He acted really weird on the bus when I asked him what happened."

Once we're down the hallway, I pause to grab a book from my locker. Kenny stands beside me, and I step a bit closer to him to keep our conversation between us, shutting my locker before I do so. "Kyle acted all pissed off at Cartman," I continue, "but before you got there, it wasn't exactly like that."

Kenny squints his eyes a bit and cocks his head to the side. "What was it like?"

"Before they noticed I was there, I think they were, like, playing keepaway with Kyle's hat or wrestling or…something. I only saw it for a second, but it was weird. It looked like they were a step away from tickling each other, for fuck's sake."

Kenny stares at me blankly, as if processing what I just told him. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, dude!"

His serious face then vanishes, replaced by one trying desperately to hold back laughter. He finally lets out a few chuckles. Between them he clears his throat and responds, "And Kyle was cool with all this?" He's then unable to hold his laughter back anymore, but he tries to contain it as best as he can to avoid calling too much attention to us.

"It sounded like it! I could hear them laughing from down the street! I mean, I could swear…" I let myself trail off. Kenny looks at me, his laughter dying down.

"What?"

"I could be wrong," I gulped, "but I could almost swear I heard Kyle…giggling." Kenny's expression instantly morphed back into one of seriousness.

"The fuck?"

"I don't know, dude! All I know is that I've never heard either of them sound like that before, especially not together. Do you think it might have something to do with one of Cartman's evil schemes?"

Kenny looks at me cautiously. "If Cartman's involved…it could be anything."

My eyes widen as the possible severity of the situation hits me point blank.

"Shit, I've gotta talk to Kyle."

I'm still fuming as I throw some of my books into my locker, grabbing a few that I'll need for the first part of the day and shoving them into my backpack. Normally I wouldn't be so careless with my books, but right now I don't give a fuck. I'm still pissed off about everything that happened this morning. Admittedly, I'm not sure whom I'm pissed off at, exactly—I'm just pissed off.

Part of me wants to be mad at Cartman for being the one who started the damn thing, and another part of me wants to be mad at Stan for interrupting us and asking questions. But I know it's my fault—I could've stopped things sooner. I knew we were outside and the other guys were on their way. I guess I just got caught up in the moment and forgot that we were supposed to be pretending like we still hate each other all the time.

It's not as easy to do as it used to be.

That pisses me off too. Why can't I hate Cartman like I'm supposed to? I used to be so good at it!

I slam my locker shut and see one of the people I'd really like to avoid for the rest of the day coming up to me. God dammit. I pick up my backpack and hoist it over my shoulders, preparing to escape to my first class, but he doesn't give me the chance.

"Kahl, wait up!" Cartman quickens his pace, falling into step with me as I start walking to my homeroom. "Can I talk to you really quick?"

"No," I reply, my tone emotionless, my eyes not even focused at him as I try to get away. I'll deal with him later, not now. "I have to get to class."

He moves in front of me, blocking me from getting away. "Class doesn't start for another ten minutes," he says. "Now stop being such a Jew and talk to me for a goddamn second!"

I scoff. "Fine, but let's go somewhere private."

"Works for me, Jew."

Two minutes later, we're both standing in one of the unlocked janitor's closets. This might be the stupidest idea ever. What if someone saw us go in here together? What if Stan saw us?

"So what do you want, fatass?" I ask.

"Look, Kahl, obviously you have some sand in your vagina about earlier…" he starts. I must have a look that screams I'm about to kill you over and over again, because his eyes widen and he quickly continues, "but I just wanted to say, I'm uh…I'm sorry. About what happened."

"You're what?"

"God dammit, Jew! You fucking heard me the first time!"

I did, but it's a little hard to believe. It's not every day that Cartman comes up to apologize to me about something. I blink when I hear him continue.

"I just…don't want you to be pissed off at me, okay? I was just trying to have some fun with you before the gahs got there. That's all. I didn't mean for all that other shit to happen."

My expression immediately softens at his sincerity. Suddenly I feel like a total dick. He turns around, seemingly embarrassed at his own words, probably thinking I'm still mad at him, even though I really have no right to be. His back to me now, I take a few steps closer to him, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, don't be sorry. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm sorry I got so pissed off—I guess I'm just frustrated, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. It's just…keeping this a secret is way harder than I thought it would be," I admit.

I hear Cartman sigh. "Yeah, I know what you mean." We stand there in silence for an awkward moment before I hear him continue. "…It's okay if you want to stop. You know…what we're doing."

I stare at Cartman's back for a few seconds. I wasn't expecting him to say that. Even with all the stress this situation has brought out lately, I hadn't considered opting out. I weigh my options. If we stopped what we're doing now, Stan and Kenny probably wouldn't ever find out anything. Even though Stan's obviously suspicious of me right now, I still don't think he has any concrete idea of what's really going on, and he won't ever if he has nothing new to go on. I could actually get out of this scot-free.

If I do that, it also means that Cartman and I will probably go back to the way things were before. Except it will be completely different—there's no fucking way it'll be anything like before. Even if I wanted to, there's no way I can forget this, and I know Cartman won't either. How are we supposed to just act like it never happened? Fuck, there really is no going back, is there?

I just hope it's worth it.

Realizing I haven't said a word in an uncomfortably long amount of time, I finally give him my response. "No." I pause before I continue. "No…I don't want to do that. We'll just have to be more careful."

I give his shoulder a light squeeze, and am surprised at the sensation of his hand reaching up and laying on top of my own. I step a bit closer, my chest now pressed against his back in a position very similar to the one we were in earlier, and brush my lips against the back of his neck. I can't help but grin as I see goosebumps form at the spot where I just kissed him. Sliding away from him, I crack open the closet door and check to see if the coast is clear. I think the bell's about to ring, so I should get going.

Deciding it is indeed clear, I say nothing else to Cartman, who's still facing away from me, before I head out the door for my first class.

I know Stan's gonna want to talk to me the next time he sees me, so I spend the rest of the day keeping that next time from happening as long as I can. I even spend lunch in the library instead of the cafeteria. On the bright side, I'm mostly caught up on homework for the day.

I decide to go straight to Cartman's place after school. I want to talk to him more about this. Even if it makes us both uncomfortable talking about what's going on between us, our secret-keeping skills are slipping and we need to figure out how to fix it and keep everyone off our backs. Fucking immediately.

I hear footsteps approaching behind me. "Kyle, wait up."

God dammit, I really wasn't counting on this right now. I turn around to face my super best friend, who has now caught up with me. "Hey Stan…what's up? What are you doing here?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing."

He motions his eyes to his right, glancing at a point over my left shoulder. I swing my head around to see Cartman's place just ahead.

Shit.

I get defensive. "I was coming over to tutor Cartman again. What were you doing following me here?"

"Actually Kyle," he pauses. I know I've got him there. "…I didn't exactly follow you. I was trying to find you after the bell rang, but you'd already left. I didn't know where you went exactly, but I figured you'd come here. And hey, I was right."

My face falls.

"Look, dude, I'm not here to interrogate you or anything. I just want to make sure you're okay. You've been acting really weird lately, and I know Cartman has something to do with it. You guys have been spending a lot of time together lately. You don't even have tutoring today, so I know that's not the only reason you're here. What's he been doing to you?"

So many things I can't explain. "Nothing." I choke a bit on my own nervousness.

He steps a bit closer to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, Kyle. You can tell me the truth."

"There's nothing to tell, dude." I try stepping back from him, but he doesn't allow me to move.

"Then what the fuck was that earlier today?" he asks, the tone of his voice sounding angrier by the second. "Just what did Kenny and I interrupt, Kyle?"

This is exasperating. "God dammit, Stan, I already told you! Cartman was being a dick and took my hat. You saw him holding it!"

"Yeah, but that's not all I saw. And heard."

"What the fuck do you mean by that?"

"I mean, before you guys noticed I was there, it sounded like you guys were…I don't know…"

"What?"

"Having a good time, I guess. You were laughing."

"Okay, fine. Maybe I was. We were just goofing around."

"Since when do you and Cartman goof around like that?" He squints his eyes in disbelief, and my anger intensities. We seem to both be reaching our breaking points.

"Like what?"

"Like you don't hate each other's guts! Usually you fucking hate it when Cartman even comes near your hat, but today, you were giggling, dude!"

"What? Are you out of your mind? Why would I ever giggle around Eric fucking Cartman?"

"That's what I want to know!" He's practically screaming at this point, and so am I. I don't know what else to do now. "What are you hiding, Kyle? Just tell me."

I sigh. I feel trapped. I'm starting to think there may not be a way out of this.

"Fine, Stan, I'll tell you what's going on. Cartman and I sort of…well…we're…"

I'm not sure I know the answer to my own sentence.

But Stan is waiting.