Sorry for last week's gimpy chapter; hopefully this one won't be as rushed, either. I just reeeeally wanted to get into the plot last time. ^^'

Please enjoy!

The night shines coldly down. Almost every cat in the Clan has gathered in the center of camp, forming a giant body of multi-colored fur, all darkened in the shadows of the clouds overhead. Yet for all the cats there, not a single body touches one another. They each stand, separate, distinct, and alone, despite being surrounded.

Rockfur's body lies in the middle of camp, the bundle of dark gray fur looking unusually small and defenseless. Tallstar steps forward; his amber eyes are somber and heavy as they fall on Rockfur, and it takes a long time for him to finally speak.

"Rockfur was a brave warrior. He always did what he thought was best for the Clan, and I have always respected him for that. No amount of words can do him justice. He will always be remembered."

With that, he settles on his stomach, paws folded neatly before him, tail wrapped over top of them, and shares tongues with his old friend for one last time. One by one, cats fall in around Rockfur's body. I can't feel them, but I know they're there. Mudpaw's murmurs are soft in my ear as he wishes my father goodbye. His voice keeps fading in and out, soothing one moment, and harsh and grating the next.

I can't think. Anything I might've wanted to say to Rockfur has completely fled my mind. My mother is alive. My tongue moves mechanically over his fur, straightening and cleaning it. I have a sister. My paws and stomach are beginning to ache. How long have we been here? They're in RiverClan.

The moon traverses slowly through the sky that night, turning the colors with it. At one point, I think the sky itself is a blinding white, and the stars have become black pinpricks, each one laughing down on our grieving Clan. It only lasts for a moment before I blink and the sky returns to pale shades of pink, orange, cream, and amber. The stars are almost completely gone, and the edge of the sun barely breaks over the horizon.

Mudpaw nudges me and I reluctantly stand, still looking down at Rockfur. Whiteberry and Reedfeather pick him up between the two of them and gently carry him away to the burying place. I watch them go, my heart racing faster with every passing moment as I silently plead for him to return. Don't go yet. You haven't told me all the stories—I want to hear the old ones, too. Tell me about how you and Briarclaw met. How about when you nearly drowned trying to fish and she had to save you? I love that story. It always makes me laugh. Tell it again, Rockfur.

They disappear under the gorse wall.

For a long moment, I am frozen where I stand. Then I turn with a slowness I'd never have thought possible before now and my eyes light on Tallstar. He is watching me from the shadows of the Tallrock, and I go to him, knowing exactly what it is I need to say. Mudpaw says something behind me, but I don't hear it.

"You knew all along, didn't you?"

Tallstar slowly lifts his head to face me, his long tail lingering somewhat behind him in motion. His black and white fur shines dully in the light of dawn. "Knew what, Owlpaw?"

I'm almost sure he knows perfectly well what I'm asking, but something abut his tone makes me hesitate. His voice hangs heavy in the air, as though he's preparing to answer but trying to warn me away from it. He looks tired—older, somehow—and I'm not sure if it's because of the silent vigil or if he's always looked this way. I'd never noticed before now.

"I'm half-Clan," I say. I try to measure my tone, to make it even and sound like any old casual thing, but my voice cracks on the last word. I pause to make sure it won't happen again, and then I ask, "Has everyone always known but me? Is that why they look at me that way?"

"Owlpaw," Tallstar says gently. He sits down, flicking his tail for me to do the same. I stand. He ignores it.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Rockfur never wanted to worry you," Tallstar says. "That's all."

"That's not all!" I snap. I can feel the fur rising on my back and force it back down. Tallstar gives me an amused look before glancing behind me into the camp. Morningpaw's and Mudpaw's low voices drift in, along with the scent of the hunting patrol coming back, carrying along with them a fresh rabbit. My stomach rumbles at the warm, thick smell, but I keep my gaze on Tallstar. This is something that I have to do. "I want to meet her. My mother." Briarclaw.

"I'm sure at the next Gathering—"

"No," I interrupt, surprising even myself. "I want to meet her now. I...I want to go to RiverClan."

For a moment, silence stills the space between us. It lasts so long that I think I'll suffocate on it, but then he finally speaks. "Why do you want to go to RiverClan? You have always loved your Clan with undoubted loyalty. If you go now, there is no coming back."

"I know."

"It's too different over there. You can't run through the fields, or sleep in the open, or eat rabbits. They would make you fish and swim and live in their wet camp."

"I know."

He pauses. "You wouldn't be welcomed."

"I am barely welcome here," I say, edging on desperate now. "Every time I talk to anyone but Mudpaw and Redclaw, it feels like they're faking the other end of their conversation. Like they have to force themselves to be in my presence. I want to meet my family. At least they would want me." I don't tell him my secret fear that maybe they wouldn't. That maybe they'd think I was a hindrance, a shame to their loyalty. Maybe they'd turn me away when they found out I left my Clan for them. They'd be disappointed in my lack of loyalty. If I left my own Clan that I'd grown up with—hunted for, been taught the ways of, the cats I wanted to fight with, not against—what reason would they have to trust me?

The sense of giving everything up is overwhelming. The knowledge that I couldn't live like this ever again presses down on me, crushing my chest. I would miss Mudpaw with a fierce intensity that makes me long for his company already, even though he's only a few tail-lengths away. The coiling of muscles and then release, the wind whipping back my fur, the thrill of the run—that I would miss, too. But more than the things I would miss, I want to know the things I have missed. I always wanted to know who my mother was. I had daydreamed about having littermates before, but I never imagined I actually had one. Now, the need to know pushes me forward, not the knowledge of what I'm losing.

There's a long pause before Tallstar finally raises his head and says, "Think on it. Right now, you are filled with grief. Tomorrow might better your perspective."

"And if I still want to go?" I ask, absolutely sure I won't change my mind, and equally sure that Tallstar knows it. "You'll let me?"

"I'll consider it," Tallstar says vaguely.

Irritation sparks in my chest, coursing all the way down to my paws, but before I can voice my protest, he says, "Why don't you get some sleep? Once you wake up, Redclaw and Deadfoot will take you and Mudpaw out for battle training."

He's trying to bribe me, I realize with a start. Battle training is the part of our apprenticeships that Mudpaw and I most look forward to—the part that any apprentice most looks forward to. But why? What's the point in trying to keep a half-Clan like me here, even when I've already expressed disloyalty in wanting to join another Clan?

Tallstar flicks his ears in a clear dismissal, and I leave without another word.

I haven't gone a dozen steps before Mudpaw bounds up to me, his shoulders stiff from the long night of silent vigil, his eyes shining dully from lack of sleep. "What were you talking about with Tallstar?"

For a moment, I debate telling him. Then shame makes me confess, "I want to join RiverClan."

The bleariness leaves Mudpaw's eyes, to be replaced with an acute sharpness. I tell him Rockfur's last words, and my decision to meet my family, ending with, "Do you think I'm wrong?" with maybe a little more challenge than I had intended.

Mudpaw opens his mouth uneasily, then seems to think better of it and snaps his jaws shut. He glances over his shoulder to make sure no one can hear us, but we've already retreated under a section of the gorse wall for privacy. Flowers and grass prickle at my skin and tangle in my fur—I don't know how cats from the other Clans can sleep like this, let alone stay in here for ten heartbeats—but for the seclusion it offers, I can bear with it for the moment.

He considers another moment, then looks up and meets my gaze steadily. "I don't want you to leave. It may be selfish of me, but you're my best friend, and I'd rather you stay here with me, in WindClan. Your home."

I don't immediately say no, even though I know that's my answer, because he'll only tell me to think about it, just like Tallstar did. So I think about it. I wouldn't be able to see Mudpaw except on the Gatherings once a moon. If RiverClan and WindClan ever had to fight, I would be hurting my former—current Clanmates. No cat in RiverClan is likely to accept me except for maybe my mother and sister. I couldn't run, or eat what I'm used to, and I'd have to learn an entirely different lifestyle. I'd have to sleep under prickly bushes.

"I want to go," I say. "I want to meet them."

Mudpaw's eyes fall to the ground, and for a moment, I want to take back what I said so he doesn't look so heartbroken. He must think I'm an awful friend, choosing some cats I've never met over him. I brush my tail along his shoulder. "We'll still see each other," I say. "At the Gatherings. And we'll always be best friends, right?"

Mudpaw lifts his head with some effort and attempts to look cheerful, with little success. "Yeah, of course. Always."

"Always," I repeat emphatically, making sure he knows I mean it, before slipping out from under the gorse wall to get some sleep.

The next day, I tell Tallstar that I want to join RiverClan.

Okay, so there's a slight change in plans. More was supposed to happen in this chapter, but I was pressed for time (because I'm a lazy slacker bum), and so, to finish on schedule, I will be updating this Thursday with another chapter. So, uh, yay! I guess. :D

Don't forget to go and read Shadow-senpai's The Valiant! Or any of her stories, really. She's such a fantastic storyteller. –way jealous–

Please review! They make me ridiculously happy after having no one but Shadow to talk about stories with for so long. T~T (I still love you, bestie.)