Thank you to you all for reading this fanfic, and thank you so much for your lovely reviews. Look out for 'The Koothrapeeny Coupling' coming soon.
The Wolowitz Conclusion
Chapter fifteen
Howard unlocked the door to his motel room and collapsed down onto the bed. He was getting fed up of staying here. He had spent a couple of days in a much nicer hotel, using what was left of the money his mother had left him all those years ago. The money was running out quicker than he had expected though. He had never considered how much Bernadette's money had propped the family up in comparison to his wages. Howard looked at the diary on his phone and counted, eight days, eight days and then he would be out of California and on his way to Florida to his dream job with one of his favourite celebrities.
Leonard found himself thinking about his former confident. Someone who had helped him get through Sheldon's death and wondered what on earth had gone on in the last few weeks. Leonard then thought about all the stories Howard had told them about his Dad, how one day everything was perfect, he was being taken to the comic book store, and building model rockets and the next day everything changed. The next day Howard's dad, Sam, walked out and never came back. The new comic books sat in the stores, unpurchased and unread, the model rockets sat on the shelves in the garage, unopened and unused, and Howard sat at the window feeling unwanted and unloved. Leonard wondered why Howard was replaying exactly what his father had done, Leonard's upbringing had been awful too and he was doing anything he could to make sure that Megan, Elliot, Alice and Kristian didn't go through the same trauma, why was Howard causing Halley and Michael to endure the same pain he had endured? Leonard didn't know, but he was baffled.
Raj sat on his couch and looked over at the door. There was a few items that Howard had forgotten when he moved out and they were still piled up next to the door to Raj's apartment. Raj had a similar feeling to Leonard about what they hell was going on. There had been a time where this wouldn't have surprised anyone. There were many occasions when Howard had done anything to sleep with anyone he could. The time he and Raj dressed up as goths came to mind, as did the trip to Vegas where he let Raj and Howard hire a hooker for him, and the relentless attempts to flirt with Penny even though everyone knew that was never going to happen. Not now though, Bernadette had changed all of that, until now. Now he had gone back to the person he was before, if not worse, and no one liked it.
Howard wasn't the only one counting down the days until he was leaving. Halley was too, telling everyone she was pleased it wasn't long until he was going, but secretly hoping he would return just to see he4r one last time. Halley would have been happy with that, after all, who was she to stand in front of her father's dreams? Who was she to stop him doing what he wanted in life? Every time her phone went off she looked at it, her eyes filled with hope that it was her father, very quickly this hope was exchanged for pain and disappointment as she saw it was someone else. Halley's only outlet for this pain was Megan, they would spend recess and lunch together keeping Halley's mind off things.
When the day came for Howard to go, he packed up his belongings in the hotel room and got a cab to the airport, he had a little bit of hope that someone would be there to see him off, his daughter, his son, his wife, one of his friends? But no one was. He wasn't surprised really, he knew he'd ruined things with everyone in California, he knew if his Mom was still here, even she would have been angry with him, and quite rightly so.
If he was honest, he wished he could go back in time and not sleep with Hannah, he wished he'd gone home and been honest with Bernadette. He wished he'd told her how much he loved her, and how he felt they had become stuck in a rut, he wished they had sat down and discussed everything rather than letting it all fester the way it had. But he couldn't go back. As scientists the human race had mastered a lot of things, but time travel wasn't one of them.
After making his way through the airport and sitting down on the plane he looked out the window as they took off. His whole life had been in California, even when he was at MIT he had a little bit of home every evening when his mother would call, and every Tuesday when an 'I love you' brisket would turn up in the mail with cooking instructions. Now that life was well and truly over. It was time for a change and he was looking forward to the challenge. Halley and Michael would understand why he left when they were older, even though he hadn't understood why his father had left.
Bernadette knew what time Howard was going, he had text her many times telling her, but she didn't want to go and see him. she didn't want him to rip apart the small section of her heart that had healed all over again. The last few weeks had been far too painful and going through it all again was not something that would be good for her right now.
Bernadette wondered if this is how Debbie had felt when Sam walked out, she wondered if Howard was really just a copy of his father, if Sam had started off like Howard, an oversexed twenty something reliving his teenage years, she wondered if when Sam met Debbie he had settled down and played the part of husband as well as Howard had. She wondered if Sam had gotten tired of Howard just like Howard was tired of Halley and Michael, if the novelty had worn off, if they were both just afraid of getting old and loosing whatever freedom he still had.
In that moment an immense feeling fell over Bernadette and she cried. She wished she could tell her mother-in-law what a wonderful woman she was, she had sacrificed everything for Howard, her love life, her youth, her friends everything, to be a single mother. She wished she could go back and ask Debbie how on earth she got through it all, how she had kept going on her own, she wanted advice on getting Halley and Michael through it all. She knew Leonard and Raj would step up and be as much of a father figure for Halley and Michael as possible, just like they had with Sheldon's children, but it wouldn't be the same as having their own Dad, and Bernadette knew that, she was happy she still had her girls and hoped that Halley and Michael would be okay in the end too.