Chapter 8

"Alright, you know da deal," I said to Flash. "You know what ta do."

She nodded, stuffing her Havana in her breast pocket. "Yeah, I know Spot. I know. I remember where ta go. Geez."

"Okay." I gave her a playful push and smiled. "Go on, get outta here." She stuck her tongue out at me and turned to walk away. I watched her go until she turned the corner. I was alone on the dock now. "Swimming sounds great right about now," I said aloud to no one in particular. Not that anyone would have heard me. I was alone.

I stripped down to my underclothes and plunged headfirst into the water. It was freezing cold. Oh well. I floated on my back and looked at the clouds, lost in my own jumbled thoughts.

"Hey, Conlon! What are ya doin' swimmin' in da fall?" I t was Race.

"Swimmin'. In da fall," I said smirking.

"No shit, smartass," he said grinning. "Why?"

I shrugged. "I had a free minute with Flash gone so I decided to use it."

He nodded. "Ahh. I see. She been gone long?" he asked.

"Nah," I told him shaking my head. "She just left."

"Watch out, I'm comin' in," Race said. He stripped and jumped in making a splash. He came back up and floated for a while. "Jack left," he told me.

"Jack? Gone? Where?" I asked him.

"He took a trip to Santa Fe with Sarah, Davey, and da rest of 'em. I don't know how long he'll be gone though."

"So he up and leaves when we need him? Dat's bullshit, Race. He said he'd help."

"I know, I know. He just wanted ta spend some time wit Sarah. He wants ta marry her ya know. Da rest of da boys are gonna help. And me. Flash too."

I looked at him outta the corner of my eye. "I kissed her da other day."

"Wait, what?"

"I kissed 'er. I dunno what came over me. I just… did it, ya know?"

"Yeah," he said. "Was she any good?" Race asked, smiling and winking at me.

He must not like her back. I'm glad but at the same time, I'm not. I could tell she really had a thing for him in her letter to Anna. I kinda felt bad that he didn't feel the same about her.

"Yeah, she was," I said nonchalantly.

Race started swimming again. "Well dat's good. At least she ain't terrible."

"Mmhmm. Hey, have ya ever noticed she has a scar on da side of her face?"

"Yeah. I never asked her how she got it. Have you?" he asked, backstroking.

"Nah. But I'm curious about it. It makes her look more like us. We got scars everywhere."

"Yeah, well so does she. She has lots of scars; ya just can't see 'em."

"Then how do ya know about 'em?" I asked.

He shrugged. "She showed 'em to me. You won't believe how many she has."

"Where'd she get 'em? Fights?" I asked him curiously.

"Yeah, I guess you could say dat. She don't really like talkin' 'bout it."

"Oh. I'm getting' outta dis water," I said, changing the subject. "It's too cold."

He grinned. "Wuss," he said to me, but he climbed out onto the warm dock too. "Hey, you know if she's gonna stay here tonight? Or is she comin' ta Manhattan?"

I thought for a second. "Well she stayed here last night, so she might stay in Manhattan tonight. I don't know."

"The guys'll be happy ta hear dat. She's growin' on 'em, da lot of 'em. They all get along wit her, no problems. But she's really become friends with Mush, Kid Blink, Jack, and Crutchy. Whenever she stays wit us, she hardly ever leaves their sides. Joined at da hip, dey are."

"She ain't really met my boys 'cause it could mess up da plan. But she has met Bane, and they seem ta get along fine. He don't really say much about her. She misses her friend Anna though. Well, at least dat's what she told me."

"Ya mean Anna… uh…"

"Bellefskii?"

"Yeah, Bellefskii. Maybe we should get her ta come ta New York. Like a surprise."

"We could do dat. I'll look into it."

"Great," he said smiling and standing up. "Imma go, I gotta meet Skitts over at Medda's. See ya later. Oh, and tell Flash ta meet me on da roof if she decides at stay in Manhattan tonight. She'll understand what you're talkin' about."

"Okay," I said nodding. "Sure thing."

"I tried ta get more outta them, but they just wouldn't say nothin'," Flash said, looking at me like I was gonna hit her. She tried to say something else but she just sat there faltering.

"Hey, whoa whoa whoa. Calm down darlin'. You're lookin' at me like I just told you ya had ta eat my dirty socks. I'm not da one ya need ta worry 'bout disappointin'," I said to her, fiddling with my pocket watch.

I guess my watch had distracted her because she dropped the subject and was watching me mess with it.

"Dat's nice. Where'd ya get it?" she asked me curiously.

I sat there flipping it in my hands before I spoke. "It was my pa's. I got it when he died."

"Your muddah give it to ya when he died?"

"Nah… she was long dead."

"Oh…" she looked like she regretted saying anything. Should I tell her? She I have even told her dat much? I don't know if I should trust her. I don't trust nobody. Well… except her. She told me about her life so she obviously trusts me. She deserves as much.

"Hey, Race," she said a little gentler than normal, "you can tell me. I won't tell a single soul." She put her hand on my shoulder.

Don't look at her, don't look at her, whatever ya do don't look at her. I looked around across the street at the Italian restaurant. I haven't eaten there in a while. Wait, why am I thinkin' about dat? Shouldn't I be thinkin' about something more serious? Oh whatever, who cares? Thank God I'm da only one dat can hear my thoughts.

I glanced at her and instantly regretted it. I knew after looking at her eyes, I was gonna tell her.

I sighed. "I don't remember much, just dat she was pregnant. My pa told me something went wrong and she died. So did da baby. If she woulda lived, I woulda had a little brudder or sister."

I turned my head to look at her. She had a solemn look on her face. Her mouth was in a hard line.

"What?" I asked her, appalled.

"Why the hell do all da good people come from screwed up back stories? It's not fair. What did any of us do ta deserve havin' our lives messed up so badly?"

I gave her a small shrug. "I quit askin' dat a long time ago. Most people give up tryin' ta find da answer ta dat within da first few months of bein' on their own."

"Yeah, well I ain't 'most people,' she said softly. "We don't deserve this." She started messing with the back of my hair. It sent a chill up my spine; the good kind. "Do ya think we deserve this, Race?"

"Hell no. but is it gonna change anything? Nope. I'm just gonna do what I gotta do."

Nodding and still messing with my hair she said, "Always been my motto."

I closed my eyes and just let her fingers twist and trail in my hair. It reminded me of something my ma did, but I got a different feeling outta it this time. She whispered in my ear.

"Don't go ta sleep on me, Higgins. Dat's no fun."

I shifted a little to let her know I was still awake and our knees brushed. A wave of heat coursed through my leg and I pulled away. She moved her leg as the same time, making a slight sort of gasping noise. Wait, was dat good? I couldn't tell.

She quit messing with my hair. Damn. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a Havana. She lit it and gave it to me. I took it gratefully because I was completely out. I sucked in and it tasted sweet. I let the smoke roll off my tongue and out of my mouth.

"I hope you enjoy dat," she said messing with my hair again. "Dat was my last one."

I nodded. "Thanks." I closed my eyes again.

"Don't mention it, Race," was the last thing I heard Flash say before I drifted off to sleep.

I took the cigar outta his mouth and ground it out. Race was leaned up against me, asleep. Dat's da last time I mess wit his hair. He's out cold.

I sat there on the roof with Race on my arm. It was unseasonably warm outside. Racetrack started mumbling something inaudible.

"What'd ya say?" I asked him confused.

"A quarter a piece… I'll win dis time… I'll bet on Breakthrough."

I started laughing. He was talking in his sleep!

"… Why'd ya do it Spot? Why'd ya go n' kiss 'er? I have to… No, it's my call… Dat pony better make it, for my name ain't Racetrack for nuttin'…"

Wait, what? Kiss who? Where? A pony? Or… Dammit, Spot musta told 'im. Great. Just my god forsaken luck. I didn't want Race ta know! Now he will only think of me like his damn little sister.

I lay him down on the roof and looked back up at the sky. New York really is a pretty place. Pretty like da south. I might go back someday… maybe.

My thoughts were interrupted by a thumping noise. I turned just in time to see Mush hoisting himself up onto the roof.

"Oh, heya Flash. I didn't know you were up here."

"Yeah. I can leave if ya want. It'll take a while ta get Racetrack down though."

"Nah, you can stay, but we oughtta get Race into bed." He walked over to Racetrack and shook him "Race. Hey, Race, wake up. We gotta get ya off da roof."

Racetrack slowly stood up and stumbled around I caught him before he fell. Mush went first, and then Race. I went into the window last and saw Mush leading him to his bunk. I followed them

"Here Race. Go ta sleep."

He climbed into bed and closed his eyes. He fell asleep surprisingly fast.

"He's fine now. Come on," Mush said to me, turning and walking back to the window.

I looked around to make sure no one was looking, and I kissed Race on the forehead. He stirred a little bit. I turned and walked quickly to the window. Mush was already on the roof so I climbed up too.

"So what are ya doin' up here?" I asked him.

"I come up here when I want time for myself. I like lookin' at da city from here."

I nodded. "I know what ya mean. I can leave if ya wanna be alone."

He shook his head. "I don't mind ya bein' here. I like havin' a girl ta talk to every once in a while. Before you came here, I used ta have ta talk ta Medda. She was nice, but she doesn't really relate, 'cause of our age difference."

I smiled at him. "Thanks. Hey… do ya know what Race thinks of me?"

"He likes ya like da rest of us. Why?" he asked me curiously.

"Oh," I said a little disappointed. "You promise you won't tell nobody? None of da guys?"

"I promise," he said crossing his heart.

I nodded. "I think I got feelin's for 'im, Mush. Overly friendly kind of feelin's. And I dunno what ta do."

"I can always talk ta him if ya want."

"No! I mean… don't say nothin' 'bout it ta him, okay? Dat's da last damn thing I need. Just… keep dis between me an' you, alright?"

"Okay Flash. I won't tell nobody," he said shrugging. "But why do ya like Race? Youse guys are so much alike, you'd clash. Why not Spot? He's like you, but different too. Race is like da boy version of you."

"I do like Spot. But like you said, Race is like da boy version of me. I understand him good, and he understands me too. And we like da same stuff. I don't think we'd clash. Not really."

"Yeah. And you're both damn good at poker too," he said winking at me. "I don't know how good ya are wit da ponies though. Race stinks at dat." He made a face. "Waste of time ta me. No fun in watchin' a bunch'a horses run around and losin' your hard earned money."

I grinned and flicked his ear. "I know he stinks at it. Can't pick 'em as good as I can. And da races… I dunno, they give me peace. And a chance ta occupy my time. I've been to da races so many times. I've gotten good at findin' da right ones. I'm an expert." I winked at him and giggled.

"Dat's another thing. You're both cocky as hell." He flicked my nose and pushed me sideways.

I'll teach him. I rolled down the slope of the roof and "fell" off, grabbing a pole on the side of the building. I swung and leapt to a few more poles all the way to the back of the building. This took me mere seconds.

"Flash! Flash, no! Oh man! Oh man, oh man, oh man! Sh-shit! Guys! Hey guys, Flash fell off da roof!" he yelled, climbing down and swinging into the window. I waited until he was running into the bunk room before I snuck in the other window.

"She fell! She just fell right off! I pushed her to da side, ya know just playin' aroun', and she rolled off!"

I crept up behind him quietly and put my finger to my lips. The guys saw me and started snickering and holding back laughter.

"What? Why are youse guys laughin'? I'm bein' dead serious! She could be hurt!" Mush hollered.

I grabbed his sides and he jumped about a mile in the air.

"Or I could be fine and right behind ya," I told him laughing. The other guys were laughing too. Mush started blushing.

"I knew dat. I was just pretendin' I didn't. Jokes on you now."

I was grinning from ear to ear. "Sure ya did Mush, sure ya did."

"What's all dis yellin' an' laughin' about? What'd I miss? It better be good, 'cause it woke me up," Race said grumpily, standing in the doorway.

"Well Mush pushed Flash off da roof and-" Kid Blink began.

"You pushed her off da roof?" Race interrupted him and turned to stare at Mush in disbelief.

"Well… no. No, not really. I shoved her a little and well… she rolled down and-"

I interrupted this time. "I grabbed onto some poles and hid. He freaked out and ran in here yellin'. I snuck up behind him and scared him outta his skin," I finished, grinning.

"So ya didn't fall of da roof?" he asked me looking confused.

I giggled. "No, I didn't. He thought I did though."

He still looked confused, so I gave up trying to explain. "I'm gonna go outside ta smoke." I took out the cigar that Racetrack didn't finish and started walking down the stairs.

"Hey, I'm comin' wit you. You gotta share dat wit me," Racetrack called after me. I waited at the bottom of the stairs for him. He got down the stairs and we walked outside. He got ahead of me and started walking toward the alley where we slept on the first day we met.

"We gotta walk all da way to da alley ta smoke?" I complained.

"Yes. Quit your whinin', it ain't like we got far ta walk."

I stuck my tongue out at him but he didn't see me. "We go here a lot. I think it needs a code name, instead of 'da alley.' Dat's boring."

"How 'bout 'our alley'?"

"Boooring. Pick somethin' else."

"But I can't think of nothin'. I'll pick somethin' later."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Fine. Lazy."

He sat down and looked up at me. "Well? Ya gonna sit down?"

"Don't rush me, Higgins. I was gettin' there." I plopped down next to him. I took out the cigar and handed it to him because I forgot my matches. I watched him light it and put it to his mouth. He smoked it for a second and passed it back. I grabbed it and took a drag. Blowing out the sweet smoke I said, "This is becomin' a habit. We share cigars a lot. Mostly mine," I said to him grinning.

He grinned back. "We share mine too. Da next cigar we share will be one of mine, how's dat?"

I shrugged, taking another puff. "Sounds fair. Here, your turn."

"Thanks. How'd I get in bed?"

"Oh, me and Mush helped each other get you off da roof, an' then he made sure ya got in your bunk alright."

"Ahh," he said nodding. He gave the cigar back to me. "You stayin' in
Brooklyn tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Probably. I gotta make sure I'm there if Spot needs me. He sorta depends on me now. Just don't tell him I said dat."

"Oh. Yeah. I guess you're right." He was nodding again. I took a puff and realized it was the last one.

"Hey, dat's not fair. I wanted da last drag," Race said looking at me. I turned to look at him , the smoke still in my mouth. I leaned in close to his face and used my hand to gently open his mouth. I got as close as I could without my lips touching his. I closed my eyes and slowly blew the smoke into his mouth, being careful not to touch him. I sat there for a second with my eyes closed, a little too nervous to open them. When I finally did, I saw him sitting there with wide eyes and his mouth slightly dropped.

"Well… ya said ya wanted the last drag. Ya got it," I said to him, feeling a little embarrassed but not showing it. I was still really close to his face, and when I realized it, I pulled away.

He cleared his throat and said, "I um, yeah thanks. It was good."

Oh god. I scared him. It was an impulse. I… Damn.

"Uh, yeah. No problem. Let's go," I told him. We stood up and started walking.

"Second-hand," he said to me.

I stopped for a second. "What?" He kept walking.

"Second-hand. That's da code for da alley."

I smiled to myself. "Okay, Race. Second-hand sounds good." I caught up with him and saw him smiling.

"Tastes good too. Havanas always reminds me, I need ta get some more tomorrow."

"Yeah, and ya better share wit me Higgins." I shoved him playfully.

"Don't worry Fuchs, I will." he said shoving my back.

We went back inside and up the stairs. Most of the guys were already in bed.

"You goin' ta bed, Race?" I asked him.

"Nah, imma play poker wit da guys dat are still awake. You wanna play too?"

I shook my head. "I'm goin' ta bed. Night, Higgins." I half hugged him and walked to my bunk.

"Night Alba!" he called after me as I blew out the candle and crawled into bed.