Hey readers, told you I'd have this one uploaded quickly! This is one of the longest chapters so hope you enjoy. Another big trigger warning: This deals with graphic depictions of miscarriage. This chapter is rated M for sexual situations, emotional distress and adult themes.
A little side note: Dealing with the story of Leena's miscarriage has helped me deal with my own personal issues in the last year, so it is not in vain. I see Leena as a character with a hell of a lot of history and heartbreak and I hope this story has shown that. Also, in relation to the review I received about the theme of incest, I respect it - but in this case I hope you agree after reading this chapter that this is a very particular case. Putting out a warning would have been a major spoiler and would have, in a sense, over-exaggerated the situation as both Tim and Leena were not related by blood, did not know the other existed and the siblingship was dissolved along with the adoption just after they began to date.
oxoxoxoxoxo
At five o'clock later that day, Leena had been trying to forget about the crumbling relationship with her wife and had submerged herself in a good book. Stupidly, she decided to re-read The Help. It had been about ten years since she'd read it and now she had a tissue in one hand, a chocolate bar in the other and despite realizing she was acting out the biggest woman stereotype of mankind, she couldn't help herself. The door clicked and Myka and Helena trudged into the house, soaked to the bone. Interestingly though, Lil who had just come back from her new day care was perfectly fine and pretty much dry.
Leena wiped her eyes with a thumb and looked up. Myka, who had originally been rather angry, softened immediately and crouched down. "You okay?" Leena's face scrunched up and she shook her head, wiping her cheeks with her palm. "You wanna talk?" Leena's head shook again.
"Oh sweetie," Myka took off her raincoat and hung it up before sitting down. She pulled Leena close. "It'll be okay… you two will so sort this out, whatever it is." She gave her a tiny shake. "Okay?"
Leena blinked. "How…h-"
"You think the Warehouse rained on us…what, just because?" Myka smiled. "Innkeeper and the Caretaker at each other's throats… we knew what'd happened." She paused. "Well, kinda." Leena sniffled at the kindness and found herself crying in her friend's arms. "Hey… you know what she's like. She's all bark and no bite…" Myka frowned at herself. "Okay, she's all bite and a bit nibble."
Leena broke away and fanned at her face to stop the tears. "Can I talk to you guys about a few things?"
"Of course," Myka soothed her. "Always, you know that... Hey, you wanna hold a baby? She's like a stress ball…just don't squeeze her too hard."
Leena gave a sniffling giggle and nodded, waving Lil over. The baby was plopped into her lap and strangely, she immediately curled up and lay in Leena's chest, head pressed against her breastbone. "Okay… Didn't expect this to work this quickly," Leena inhaled back a few tears and smiled, rubbing Lil's back, mainly for her own comfort. Slowly, she managed to tell Myka and Helena everything. Helena's face hadn't changed, Myka's eyebrows had raised but they both stayed silent until they were able to speak.
Suddenly, Helena blinked and after taking everything in, nodded to herself. "It has taken me approximately thirty seconds to digest this… and I have to say if Claudia doesn't come round, I'll never understand her." She sat herself down next to the innkeeper and her hand fit neatly in the other woman's palm. "We have your back." Leena sniffed and nodded, looking down at Lil who was still nestled against her chest.
Myka got up and paced slightly. "So…" she breathed. "Wait, so Mrs. Frederic dissolved the adoption."
Leena hummed the affirmative as she swallowed heavily. "It was for our protection. She didn't want to get in the way of mine and Tim's relationship." She looked down at her hands. "She changed it so that she was… still is, my legal guardian. She promised me… she would protect me."
"And Tim?" Helena asked gently, smiling at the fact that Leena's slow rubbing to Lil's back was sending her daughter to sleep.
Leena shrugged. "He left after I lost the baby. I broke it off, I… He was heartbroken." She became distraught. "It's happening again, isn't it?"
"No," Myka said adamantly and rushed to sit down next to the woman. "No, it's not. Because we are here for you, okay? And I don't think anybody was at the time, were they?" She saw the minute shake of the head. "Good, see? Claudia is not going to leave you and we're not going to let her."
Leena closed her eyes and kissed the top of Lil's head. "Okay…" she nodded, feeling a little more comfortable. "Hopefully Daniel coming to stay will keep my mind off it."
Myka patted her shoulder. "Is Claud coming to say hi?" A quirk of the eyebrow was her only answer. "Oh…."
Leena snorted. "She told me to text her when he arrived."
"Then leave her be," Myka shrugged bitterly. "If she wants to be a child, let her."
Leena looked down to see Lil fast asleep, a fist in her mouth. "I lied to her for 10 years, I lied to all of you. It's okay for her to be annoyed with me."
Helena sighed. "Well," she said and stood up, crossing her arms. "Today is for little Daniel and his welcome home party." She grabbed hold of Leena's book and the empty candy wrappers. "Agreed?"
Leena smirked. "Agreed." She stood up slowly, still cradling the slumbering infant in her arms. A wide smile emerged on her face as she swayed her hips lightly.
Myka caught the infectious grin. "You're excited."
"I am," Leena grinned. "I have to keep reminding myself that in a few months..." She left it open ended, knowing if she carried on she'd get too animated and wake Lillian up.
Myka laughed softly and followed Leena as the innkeeper lay Lil down in her crib. They gathered together all of the little treats for the party. Leena decided, after a few hours, that even without Claudia, she was having a good time watching Lil play with balloons and squeal at the sounds they made. Artie joined them soon after, and though he had questions for Leena about why it had suddenly started to hail in the fertility aisle, this day was for Danny.
When Pete's voice was heard outside the B&B, the excitement in the building was palpable, each woman excited to see the young boy. Artie stood from a distance and watched the ladies clucking like hens, making sure the candy was prepared on the table properly. Pete opened the door to find three smiling buffoons holding a welcome home banner and a grinning baby, nestled against Helena's hip batting a teething ring. Daniel's mousey face lit up and he turned to his father with a chortle. "Welcome home, buddy." Pete grinned and lowered the boy to the ground. Daniel immediately ran into Leena's arms, having spent more time with her and shyly looked up over the almost unnoticeable slope of her belly.
"Hey, sweetie." She smiled and ruffled his hair. "You okay?"
He nodded and hugged her again before timidly making his way around the small group and greeting them. The six year old looked around suddenly and frowned. "Daddy?"
"Yeah?" Pete had begun to start putting away some of Daniel's toys in a box in the corner of the room especially for him.
"Where's Aunt Claud?" He asked, a troubled look flashing across his face.
Myka shared a glance with the man and began cautiously. "Claudia's at work, honey. She's working real hard but she'll come and see you when she's finished." He continued to frown but nodded slowly. "Okay?"
His darkening hair flipped around his eyes and he looked up, shaking it away. "Okay," he let out a gradual smile and looked at Lil who was on the floor destroying a tiny baby-sized piece of cake with her fingers. "Can I hold her?"
"Sure you can," Myka grinned and grabbed a baby wipe, cleaning her daughter's hands (much to Lillian's chagrin) and watched as Daniel excitedly seated himself on the couch next to Artie. The old man wrapped a protective arm around the boy and smiled vacantly when Lil was plopped in the six year old's lap.
"She's heavier than last time," he huffed looking down as Lil squirmed irritably. A look of terror crossed his face and he looked up, fearing he was about to be told off.
"Hey, it's quite alright," Helena soothed and lifted the sobbing baby before swivelling her round so she faced him. "She just wants to see you."
Immediately, the infant stopped crying and gave the boy a gummy smile, holding her slightly sticky hands up.
"Hello," Daniel giggled, pressing his fingers against Lil's. "She's funny," he smirked.
"She's a terror," Myka chuckled, before letting out a sigh as Helena got back up from kneeling on the floor, and slipped her arms around her wife before pulling her close. Helena pecked the back of her neck where she could reach and smiled. "She gets it from her mother." Myka said coyly and felt her belly getting pinched.
Pete had this strange look on his face, a mixture of pride and nervous energy manifesting itself as a goofy grin. Myka's eyes squinted. "Spill, Lattimer."
Leena chuckled. "Glad I wasn't the only one noticing something. Something happened at the airport." She watched the turbulent dark blues glimmer across his chest and mix with fiery auburn.
Pete cleared his throat and grabbed a piece of cake before chomping down a large mouthful. "Daniel's carer? The one who brought him on the flight, told me Daniel has to stay for ten months." He mumbled.
"Ten months!" Each adult squawked, gasping and spluttering in unison.
He let out a hearty chortle. "Seems Anna," he said her name with a hint of malice, "has to go to Singapore for a temporary contract job after this business trip and she doesn't want him to be neglected. Her mom told her she had to bring him to me." He rubbed his hands together. "Thank you Margaret!"
Leena let out a wide smile. "You like that, Danny?" She turned to him. "You wanna stay here for a little longer?"
"Yessss," he grinned and distractedly held up Lil's teething ring, eyes widening when Lil took it and batted it hard against his chest.
Leena watched Myka wriggle out from Helena's embrace and give Pete a big hug before slapping him on the back. She noticed tears of joy rolling down the side of the man's nose and thinned her lips in admiration. She placed a hand on his shoulder and watched the colors of pride blur around him. This was going to be fun, wife or no wife.
Claudia was beginning to get pissed off. She'd just finished deactivating the seventh artifact that had been playing up. What she didn't need right now was a telling off from Mrs. Frederic. Surprisingly, the regal woman hadn't made a single appearance, so Claudia was able to stew about the fights she'd been having with her wife. Ten years. She shook her head and began to mop up a puddle of rain off the floor. Ten fucking years and Leena had only just told her. With her brother. She wrinkled her nose in disgust and scrubbed the floor harder. A small feeling of regret caused her to pause. Leena hadn't known Tim… who knows if the man had even known who Leena really was. Her heart ached and she looked down at her wedding ring and the tattoo on her wrist with a shake of her head before getting back to work.
God damn Claudia Donovan. Leena's smile darkened into a frown as she watched Daniel sat on Artie's lap, telling him all about school in Boston. This was supposed to be an amazing day. It was supposed to be a celebration of father and son being reunited with a bright future ahead. The problem was that she couldn't stop thinking about the annoying, stubborn woman a few miles down the road. She had texted her wife four times and received no reply. She'd asked for them to talk to each other, to just explain a little more about the situation and to go on from there. After sending a fifth and final one, Leena turned off her phone and dedicated the rest of her evening to the adorable, curious little boy sat on her couch.
Feeling a little nauseous around 9pm, she left an amorous Helena and Myka on the couch and went up to bed. She wished she could say that the absence of her wife made her unable to sleep, but as her head hit the pillow, her eyes closed and her body let her have the rest she obviously needed.
The pain was indescribable. Sure, she had had menstrual cramps, and they hurt like hell…but this was unreal. Pulsing, aching agony rolled through her body. What she didn't expect was the intense vomiting as she lost the blood. She was in a hospital, in a room on her own. A tall, gentle black man came in and rubbed her back but it didn't help. She just wanted to go home and cry and punch something and sleep and forget. A nurse came into the white, empty room and soothed her but that didn't help either. The need to push came and she found herself burying herself in the older man's arms, sobbing into his chest as she passed her child. A kiss to the top of her head was all she felt alongside the excruciating pain… then it was gone. Claudia was in an empty room, it was dark and she gasped out, grabbing the sides of the bed as she pulled herself up. The bed was soaked in sweat and her pillow drenched with tears and she did the first thing her groggy, traumatized body could do. Grabbing the phone, she clicked her first speed dial contact and cried into her hand.
Leena was having a strangely relaxed sleep. It was like all her worries and cares were being taken from her and she curled up, rolling the end of the duvet under her feet. Her breasts stung but she managed to semi-ignore the pain as she slumbered. That was until 3am when her phone buzzed and she woke up with a start. Slackly pulling her phone into view, she lay on her back with a flop and croaked out a "hello?" What she wasn't expecting was the sound of heavy panting and sobs as Claudia tried to breathe.
"I'm sorry," the Caretaker wailed. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Leena."
"Claudia?" Leena sat up. "What happened?" She frowned and turned on the light, slipping out of bed.
"I'm sorry," came the babble and Leena began to think her wife had done something stupid. Another hacking sob sounded down the phone and the innkeeper jumped into action, throwing on some casual clothes over her nightwear and stepping into some shoes.
"Claud? What did you do?" Leena asked urgently. "What happened? Claudia?"
"I'm so sorry," the redhead wailed, covering her eyes with her wet hands. She saw the whole thing over and over again in her head and rolled onto her side, letting the phone drop to the soaked mattress. She curled up and bit down on her forearm, trying to keep the rest of her tears at bay.
After trying to coax a further reaction from her wife, Leena hung up and dashed out of the house, shrugging on a coat before flinging herself into the car. She drove as safely as she could, then when she reached the Warehouse, jogged through the umbilicus, asthma be damned. The sound of sobbing greeted her ears and she rushed over to the sleeping quarters where she found Claudia kneeling on the floor, bent over at the waist as she clutched the bedding in her fists. "Claudia?" Claudia foggily turned and blinked at the woman stood above her. Leena's nostrils flared as she tried to catch her breath, concern and anguish flooding her face. "Honey-"
"I'm sorry," Claudia cried out and leapt off the floor, burying herself in her partner's arms. "I'm sorry…"
"Oh sweetie, it's okay…I should have told you." Leena soothed, rubbing her fingers against Claudia's scalp to calm the woman down. "Hey… It's okay…"
Claudia shook her head hastily. "No… no, I saw it. I dreamt it. I'm sorry," she hiccupped. Her fingers fumbled and she pulled off Leena's coat, frantically lifting the woman's sweatshirt and pajama top up reveal smooth honey-brown skin. She only just managed to press her shaky lips just below the woman's belly button when another sob caught her off guard.
It all clicked into place. Leena fingered the sweaty hair slowly and felt breath leave her chest. She felt fingernails pinch into her back as Claudia held her tightly. Tears flooded her eyes immediately but she sniffed them back. Time to be strong. She slipped onto the floor and straightened her legs as Claudia automatically crawled snugly onto her lap, pressing her face into the innkeeper's neck. "Shhh, it's okay… It was a long time ago," Leena swallowed heavily. "It's okay." Claudia continued to cry, refusing to move from her comfy place. "Shh," Leena ran her hands up and down the slim back, closing her eyes and focusing on the calming energy between them. "I'm okay," she smiled. "I'm pregnant, and I'm okay."
"The pain," Claudia mumbled sadly. "I…I-"
"Shhh," Leena sighed, "It was painful, huh?" Claudia nodded and continued to blubber. "Oh baby, it's okay…" she said firmly. "Everything is okay. It's sad, I know…" she felt her tongue lift to the top of her mouth as a wave of emotion caught her off guard. She blinked through tears. "But I'm fine, Tim is fine… It was a different time."
Claudia calmed down slightly and looked up, smiling briefly when Leena rubbed tears away from her cheeks. "Tim… He was there."
Leena nodded. "He was. He's a good man. You'd like him." She let out a soft grin and wiped Claudia's chin with her thumb. "He was the one who told me to tell you the truth."
"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have reacted th-that way," Claudia stammered, more tears overwhelming her.
"Honey," Leena closed her eyes and kissed her lips. "You had every right to, okay? You didn't know the ins and outs. I shouldn't have waited ten years to tell you." She looked down as Claudia continued to compose herself, one hand possessively settled on her lower abdomen.
Talking was really hard right now. Claudia had tried to get her mouth to say "I love you" three times. Each time, her lips would quiver and her throat would tighten. On the fourth try, it came out as a rushed pant and Leena's face brightened.
"Well I love you too," the innkeeper whispered. "Can I take this as proof that you're not gonna leave me?"
Claudia's nose scrunched as she felt herself begin to cry again. She shook her head and let out a "No," before hugging Leena tightly once more.
"Good… I wasn't ready to bring up a baby with half your genes by myself." Leena chuckled. She tapped Claudia and lifted herself up off the floor before taking her wife's hand and leading her over to the bed. "God… you soaked this thing."
"Sorry," Claudia mumbled, standing on shaky legs. She watched as Leena changed the bed, grabbing some spare sheets from the drawers in the corner of the bedroom. She shivered, adrenaline and the lack of heat making her arms vibrate. "M-Make love to me." she suddenly murmured.
Leena's back straightened and she brushed off her hands, dumping the bed covers on the floor at the side of the large four poster bed. "What?" She turned with raised eyebrows. Claudia would never say that in a million years, not in a serious manner anyway. The only time she ever said it was when her wife was mocking her. And yet here Claudia was, shivering like a leaf in the middle of the room.
"I need you," Claudia had her arms crossed to keep herself warm and she looked up almost shyly. "Please…" She sniffed.
Two strides and Leena was in the caretaker's arms, her lips making a strong assault on Claudia's mouth. It took Claudia a few seconds to figure out what was happening before she wrapped her arms around Leena's shoulders and reciprocated, pushing her with her body, one protective hand still splayed across the bloated stomach. She pulled Leena's sweatshirt off with one pull of her free hand and lay the woman down on the bed. She followed and rolled onto her back, grasping Leena's hand until the innkeeper was settled on top. She took Leena's hand and pulled back the waistband of her own cotton shorts. Slowly, she pressed the woman's hand down her front until she could feel her wife's fingers press between her legs. She watched Leena's eyes close at the texture, then did the same when demanding lips nipped at her own. Leena's tongue stroked hers, the kisses between them growing in intensity. Claudia felt fingers enter her and groaned, widening her thighs further. She kept a hold of Leena's hand, stroking it back and forth with her palm as the innkeeper thrust hard.
Biting against Claudia's chin, Leena squeezed her eyes tightly shut and felt the redhead's thigh fit snugly between her own legs. She may have gotten slightly carried away, giving pleasure to her wife with her hands until Claudia's grunting turned into a shrill moan. "Oh god," Claudia panted, arching up into the woman's hand.
Leena's lips moved down from her attack on Claudia's chin to the t-shirt still worn by the caretaker. She found Claudia's nipple through the sleeping shirt and clamped down gently with her teeth, shocking another loud groan from Claudia's lips. Leena pulled away briefly and looked up. "Want me to slow down?" she breathed, rubbing herself against Claudia's thigh with a little more urgency.
"N-No, no." Claudia practically howled out her pleasure, forcing Leena's hand further inside her. Leena lifted her wife's t-shirt and ducked her head underneath, pressing kisses to one of her breasts before she opened her mouth and sucked hard. Claudia panted rapidly, bucking her hips into the woman's hand. She pushed down on the back of Leena's hand hard and felt the fingers inside her curl. Leena's tongue swirled around the small breast, then she sucked again.
Holding Leena's head against her, Claudia's back arched and she bucked a few more times until her the pressure got too great. She came strongly around the innkeeper's fingers, her mouth open wide. She would have sucked in a breath of air had she the energy to do so and waited for the orgasmic waves to diminish before she finally treated her lungs. Leena's head appeared out from under her t-shirt and she smiled softly, pecking Claudia on the lips. She didn't pull out, she stayed exactly where she was and revelled in her lover's heavy breathing. Claudia's fingers played with her hair and she pulled her back down for a kiss. They may have spent minutes making out, but Claudia wouldn't have been surprised if it had taken hours for them to get bored.
At 7am, Leena was naked, lying on her side and drawing circles on Claudia's chest with a finger and a distant grin. Claudia watched her with a quirked eyebrow, her own smile gradually making its way across her face. "You know… when you want, you can talk to me about this. Okay?" She felt a small flick against her nipple and giggled. "Okay?"
"Okay," Leena nodded. She leant forward and kissed her wife again, "For now I just wanna soak up the love."
"Ohhhh," Claudia smirked. "Soak up the love, I see…" She nodded and stole a kiss, then lowered herself further down the bed. Swallowing heavily, she shook the imagery of her dream from her mind and kissed Leena's belly, then went even lower. She smiled and hovered over the small patch of trimmed hair between Leena's legs. She blew cold air and waited for the giggle. Leena squirmed and nearly pushed her away but managed to control herself with a laugh.
"Claud…" Leena whined, widening her legs. At the first graze of Claudia's tongue she clenched the pillow in her fist. Claudia's eyes never left hers, and a hand settled on top of her abdomen. A thumb stroked her skin gently and she smiled, then leaned back and let her wife have her way with her.
Just before Leena went back to sleep for the third time, she pondered why Claudia had had the dream. She stretched and played with the hair at the nape of Claudia's neck. She felt a kiss to her breast and let out a smile. The redhead had been so distraught, so seemingly traumatized and yet Leena was surprisingly calm. Now that she shared the heartache with her wife it was like something was lifted from her shoulders. This wouldn't happen again, she made sure of it. She reached down and caressed Claudia's lower back, then her backside. She smiled as Claudia snuggled closer and she traced the tattoo on the redhead's shoulder blade. Though Leena at the time hated the idea of Claudia getting another, the caretaker insisted she have it to help her with the acceptance of her status. The Warehouse was Claudia's home, a place where she could fall back on and thrive - but that place was sometimes scary and she hadn't wanted the role. But this was her job and it was who she was and her way of dealing with that was to get another tattoo. She already had four. "To boldly go" was written on her hip in script to remind her that she could be like Picard if she wanted, "L", was written in morse code on her wrist (much to the innkeeper's initial chagrin), a sketch of an exotic flower that she had stolen from Leena's sketchbook after falling in love with it was on her foot, and the blueprint of her sonic screwdriver was on her back, running down her spine. Truth be told, after getting used to her wife's body art, Leena had to admit that the tattoos were stupidly geeky but ridiculously hot.
She traced the eye of horus, dotting her finger around the iris. She remembered when Claudia had come back from a "day at the Warehouse" to reveal the new tattoo. What had shocked her the most was the fact that the color of the eye was her own. Hazel-brown. The innkeeper decided she could have wasted her time being angry at her wife, but she was too touched. Claudia's marring of her own skin showed the caretaker's utter devotion to their lives together and that made her both overwhelmed and weepy-eyed. She felt a sudden thrust against her and blinked. Claudia had begun to moan in her sleep, leaning up on her forearms. "Claud…" Leena whispered, running her fingers up Claudia's side and around her ribs. "Honey," she tried to either rouse her or stop the sudden kissing assault Claudia had on her neck as she continued to thrust.
"What?" Claudia croaked back.
"Oh," Leena squeaked. "I uhh," she laughed nervously. "I didn't know you were awake."
"I may be awesome, but I don't think I can instigate sex while I'm sleeping." Claudia giggled and bit her neck gently.
Leena shrugged with a smirk but the expression was lost quickly when a thrust against her center caught her off guard. "Wouldn't put it passed you," she struggled to let out grin.
Claudia hushed her with a hand over her mouth before moving it over to Leena's wrist and pinning her to the bed. "Shhh…" She pressed her lips to Leena's. Leena watched her carefully, but nodded as she felt her other hand being pinned. Claudia's power over her had began to loosen.
"Harder," Leena whined. Claudia complied and placed both hands on either side of Leena's head before dipping her hips and applying strong pressure to Leena's clit with her thigh. They rocked together, bucking against each others' thighs until Leena felt her head swim and she clutched Claudia's back tightly. When they both climaxed, Leena swore she would never be able to move again.
"That's enough," she groaned. "Any more and I won't be able to sit down for a week," she smiled despite herself.
Claudia settled her head against Leena's chest and looked up, delivering a delicate peck to the underside of her chin. "I love you." she murmured. "I will never voluntarily leave you…I can promise you that now."
Leena froze and looked down, pulling Claudia up for another kiss. She closed her eyes and nodded. "I know. I love you too." She rolled over and wriggled forward, smiling when her slightly larger tummy touched Claudia's. "I'm the same too. I promise."
Claudia's nose wrinkled and she stroked Leena's nose with a finger. "Ugh, that dream… Tell me one thing?"
"Mm," Leena winced.
"You were in the hospital? When… you know…"
"Yeah."
Claudia swallowed heavily and nodded. So the dream happened… like that. "Oh… yeah, okay." She pursed her lips. "I think I need to hug you again." She let out a watery smile and shuffled until she was able to wrap her arms around her wife.
"Hey," Leena soothed at the death grip the woman had on her neck. "I'm good." She pecked her shoulder and felt tears prick her eyes unexpectedly. Claudia wouldn't let go though, and while the innkeeper needed to show her face back at the B&B to get breakfast ready, for once, she realized this was more important. She rolled onto her back and held Claudia tightly, grunting slightly when the caretaker leant on her belly too heavily. "Ow...ow." She froze and opened her eyes. Claudia pulled back and looked down, confused. Leena merely smiled. She was getting bigger, her child was growing and though she wished she could zoom forward to a time when her baby was moving inside her, this was the next best thing.