AN:Thank you guys for reviewing! I honestly didn't think this fic would get so much attention. So I'm going to concentrate on getting it just right! By the way, I go to a boarding school, and we are super strict here so there is no free fun internet time. I can only update once a week...so put this fic on alert if you would like to read more.

Chapter three: in which Thor rides the merry-go-round. Clint eats anything he can get his hands on. Natasha and Bruce go off on their own and Steve loiters in the background, looking guilty. Tony just wants to sulk in a corner.

RATING:T (WARNING FOR DISTURBING 'MY LITTLE PONY' IMAGES)

Three

Thor didn't let the teenage go until two park employees came and threatened to call the police. There was a brief moment of tension between Loki and the employee. Loki wanted to indulge Thor and curled his lip at the human.

"Petty mortals." he hissed in distain. Tony decided to intervene before things got out of control. He promised Thor there was more fun stuff inside the park, like spinning teacups and merry-go-rounds.

Thor had started asking questions like 'what is the purpose of these large teacups?' why do you sit in them?"

Clint had wiggled his eyebrows and mimicked grabbing his imaginary boobs. "Like T-sized cups. You know what I mean?"

Tony rolled his eyes when Thor said no and demanded more explanation. Natasha smacked Clint upside the head.

The first thing Thor decided to do when he finally stopped asking questions was to ride the merry-go-round. His reason was quite simple; he missed his trusty steed back in Asgard. Tony, having nothing else to do, indulged him. They waited in the mile-long line of children, sticking out horribly because of their height. Loki offered to turn Thor into a five-year-old girl if only just to stop the staring.

And yes, there was a lot of intense staring going on. Teenage girls and women mainly stared at Thor and Steve, with their ridiculous blonde Barbie hair and amazing muscular arms. The dreamy expressions on their faces made Tony want to throw up. He pouted, shuffled closer to Clint and tugged on the still protruding wings on the back of his shirt for comfort. Natasha and Bruce had wandered off on their own, saying they wanted to do something mild in case Bruce hulked out. As if there was anything milder than riding a sparkly plastic horse around a fucking pole with a bunch of kids.

Tony glanced around and noticed a huge man in a biker jacket staring intently at him. The man licked his lips and winked at Tony. Tony's left eye twitched. Now that he noticed, Loki was getting the same treatment. Ok, so he and Loki attracted men who looked like mountain bears and who were equally hairy. Tony totally didn't think that was creepy at all. Loki stepped closer to Thor and the god wrapped a thick possessive arm around his slim waist. The trickster was simpering with smugness. Clint on the other hand was sadly attracting kids like honey to bees, or maybe shit to flies.

"Are you a tooth fairy?" a tiny girl with pigtails standing behind them asked for the fifth time. Clint checked his watch and glanced at the long line before them. He clinched his jaw and pointedly ignored the girl. She started poking him in the ass with her glittery wand because it was the only part she could reach.

Poke. Poke. Poke. CRACK.

Tony turned around just in time to see Clint yank the wand out of her hands and snap it in one huge fist.

"Do I look like a fucking tooth fairy to you?"

She started to cry. The mother looked furious. Clint groaned and fled, muttering about finding a gift shop to buy a new shirt.

"Don't worry, I'll pay for it. Just stop crying please." Tony said professionally and whipped out a checkbook. Loki extracted himself from Thor's embrace and approached. Tony experienced a brief moment of panic when he thought Loki was going to whip out his throwing knives and end the noise. Instead, he squat down to the little girl's level and closed his eyes, a look of concentration on his face.

"Hmm, I know just what you want, Heather." her teary eyes widened when he said her name. He pulled his hands out behind his back and produced an even more sparkly wand and a princess hat. She clapped in delight and stopped crying immediately. Tony discreetly put on his sunglasses to avoid being blinded by the sheer pinkness of the 'girl power' wand. Loki smiled and stood up. The mother smiled back at him. Thor looked close to tears and swept all of them into a huge bear hug booming "ah, my good friends!" Tony choked. He had a fearful hunch his manliness was not going to come out intact after this trip.

Clint scowled as he paid for the shirt. It was a horrible blend of rainbow hues bright enough to physically hurt him. He was really considering getting a dozen more and suggesting they change their Avengers uniforms at their next meeting. It would at least be a nasty surprise for their enemies.

Scratching his neck, he stuck the pink bow and the handful of rubber arrows into a back pocket (because aside from the atrocious color, he kind of liked them) and wandered in the general direction of the merry-go-round. He wasn't in a hurry. Clint had a hunch that combining Thor and sparkly plastic horses together was going to be extremely messy.

Then he stopped.

There across the street stood a man. The man was wearing a shaved ice cone costume. Clint's heart rate picked up, his pupils dilated and he felt the distinctly familiar curl of desire well up from the deep cavern of his tortured soul.

Clint's feet automatically transported him toward the slushie stand. He hesitated. Phil's voice was ringing in his head- "don't buy it, agent Barton."

Clint blinked, took one more look at the fat man in the costume swaying enticingly and erotically from side to side and shrugged. He stepped up to the counter with a perfectly serious face.

"Give me a blend of all the flavors please."

Thor was feeling extremely confused.

Now, this feeling was quite familiar since he was in fact classified as an alien in midgardian terms and the humans had such confusing customs. But confusion for him was usually accompanied by Stark's patient eye roll and a lengthy explanation. Thor usually nodded along just to be polite whether he understood or not.

This time however, the man with the funny goatee (he only called Stark that in his head) and his lovely brother were both bent over, laughing so hard they could barely breath. Stark was also holding out the tiny magical device that could spout out his friends' voice and taping the whole thing. He couldn't for the love of god figure out why Stark and Loki were cackling like a bunch of crows as he regally revolved past the red faced captain America for the second time. Steve waved at him awkwardly.

Thor wiggled a bit atop his My Little Pony. The seat of his trusty steed pinched his bottom greatly but Thor, being a brave warrior, only held onto the glittering reins grimly. He was going to enjoy this experience of midgardian culture.

Come to where the magic is... where the rainbow ends

Follow, follow My Little Pony...My Little Pony 'n Friends

Through the clouds and past the stars...where the river bends

Follow, follow My Little Pony...My Little Pony 'n Friends

Where you find your heart's desire...

Then music started blaring. The child next to him burst into tears. Thor's smile drooped a little. Ok, scratch that, he was going to pretend to enjoy this experience of midgardian culture.

"Oh god, I think I just laughed up a lung..." Tony clutched at Loki's arm, gasping for air. The trickster was also trying desperately to calm his rapidly thumping heart. They broke into peals of helpless laughter again when Thor revolved slowly into sight again, his head held stubbornly high and clutching at his sparkly reins. The kids and parents were gawking at the mammoth of a man, wedged uncomfortably on the tiny pink pony. Thor's legs were dragging uncomfortably on the ground.

Thor felt unloved. He pouted.

Steve felt awkwardly out of place standing red-faced and along with several older women who kept trying to discreetly feel his ass. Tony predictably got along perfectly with Loki. And Thor, well, Thor was special. That was all he was going to say. Clint had wandered off to god knows where. He was all alone.

Steve wasn't good with words; they came to him awkward and tend to burst out at the most inappropriate moments. He envied Tony sometimes. He had the ability to blend and mix with people effortlessly. He had a way with words that Steve could never hope to compare. And Tony was the splitting image of Howard Stark when it came to women. Well maybe he was kinkier and had more style. But when Steve really looked, really fought past the protective shell Tony always wrapped around himself, he found someone entirely different from his old friend Howard. Howard never had to face death head on. Howard had never almost died saving his friends and Howard didn't have to shoulder the burden Tony had to. And that made them so different. Somehow Steve liked that difference.

He just didn't know how to express that fond feeling in words. He had been planning to ask Tony to be his valentine when Natasha had suggested it and later that night, when Tony stayed behind to chat, he had planned to make a joke before asking. But Tony had run off before Steve could finish his sentence that he wanted Tony to be his valentine. He been feeling too nervous and hadn't really listened to what Tony was babbling about. Next thing he knew, Tony was tearing off and refusing to speak to him.

Steve's head throbbed. Sneaking a glance at the bizarre pair still obsessed over the god on his My Little Pony, he came to a sudden decision. He was going to mend things with Tony. One tiny step by one tiny step. He could do it.

Taking one last look at the trio by the merry-go-round, he slipped quietly into the crowd. Well, not that quietly.

"Ahh! ma'am, please take your hand off my behind."

"Sure, handsome."

Steve coughed, blushing furiously. He took another look at Tony and departed.

Tony ignored the nagging feeling at the back of his mind and concentrated on Thor. The giant blond god slid off the tiny plastic horse and limped toward them as the ride came to a halt. Loki raised an eyebrow silently at Thor's sour expression.

"My Little Pony had too small a saddle. It was quite uncomfortable. I did not understand why my fellow riders laughed upon seeing me. I believe I rode magnificently." Thor nodded importantly, ignoring Tony's fresh wave of giggles. "Where to now, Tony Stark?"

"More like your ass was too big for the saddle, Princess. After all that's how they grow them on Ass-guard." Loki rolled his eyes. Thor crossed his arms defensively.

"Oh god...hold on." Tony giggled helplessly and bent over to take several deep breaths. Loki waved at Heather the little girl when she passed them with her mother. She waved back at him enthusiastically. Someone cooed in the crowd.

"It seems we have lost two members of our little dysfunctional group, Stark." Loki ignored the sound and gave Tony's shin a little kick. And he was right; Clint and Steve were indeed missing. Tony groaned and shook his head. Clint he wasn't worried about, but Steve? God, Fury was so going to kill him.

To make things worse, the man still didn't know how to use a cell phone to answer calls and the microwave to heat stuff. That time Thor had made a small bonfire out of a mountain of chopsticks in the kitchen, Tony had forgiven him because Thor wasn't human. But Steve had no excuse what so ever.

"I hate my life."

"I second that."

Tony whirled around and blinked.

"Barton, why's you tongue black?"

Clint shrugged casually. "I had an orgasmic slushie. My brain is still kind of floating in a hazy of icy goodness. A blend of all flavors, see?"

He stuck out his tongue proudly. Thor thumped his back in congratulations. Clint high-fived Thor. Loki rolled his eyes.

"Guys, Steve's missing. All activities are on hiatus until we find our virgin captain." Tony clapped his hands to get their attention. He glanced around at the too pink surrounding and the sheer amount of people. "God, it's like dropping Snow White in a whore house. In other words, a fucking disaster."

They trudged on slowly, occasionally asking passing people. Tony squinted around. Clint was skipping ahead. Thor was bellowing 'dear captain, where are you' at the top of his lungs. Loki slapped Thor upside the head.

"Shut up, Princess. You're giving me a headache."

Thor shut his mouth.

Clint skidded to a sudden halt. Tony crashed into him with a surprised grunt. The archer was stock still, eyes fixed straight

Then he fell to his knees.

"Me want."

Tony squinted at the pink banner. It read-

FOOT-LONG HOTDOG EATING CONTEST! Impress your date with your prowess!

Clint whimpered. Tony groaned.

Son of a bitch. They were so screwed.

TBC

CHAPTER FOUR: In which they get a little sidetracked while trying to find Steve. Loki gets shamelessly spoiled. Clint eats a dozen hotdogs and Steve buys something for Tony. Tony just thinks he's slowly going blind with all the pink hearts around. Oh, Bruce gets kicked by a goat.