Title: Destroyed (15/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Randy, John and Justin arrived at Evan's place early the next day. Justin was still wary but had developed a level of trust with Randy, aware that the Viper knew what kind of things had been going on within the Nexus. He was still nervous around John, due not only to the beating he'd been subjected to but also his concern about John's motives. He had worked out by now that Randy was fiercely protective of Evan and would therefore protect anyone who was also a victim of the Nexus. He just couldn't work out John's involvement and why he would want to help him.

Evan answered the door quickly and threw himself immediately into Randy's arms, grateful to have him back even for a day or so. Justin couldn't help but smile at the open show of affection, but his face fell as it made him realise how alone he was. John saw this and placed a supportive hand on Justin's shoulder. Cena gently nudged the now embracing Orton and Bourne out of the way and led Justin into the house, taking both of their bags and dumping them in the hall way. He led the younger man into the den and motioned for him to sit down.

"We'll leave those two to get reacquainted," John chuckled. "Don't worry, they're always like this."

Justin nodded, still clearly uncomfortable. "Maybe I should have gone somewhere else," he whispered.

"You're safest here," John was struck by how much the thought of the young man being on his own upset him. "And you shouldn't be alone right now. Honestly Justin, trust us."

"I... I want to," he admitted, "I guess I'm just used to being with people who won't do anything unless there's some ulterior motive. And after everything I've done, why would anyone want to help me?"

"I can understand that," Justin had described most people associated with the wrestling world, if John were honest with himself. "The only ulterior motive I have is to destroy the Nexus, and stop anyone else going through the shit they've already done to you and Evan."

"And to you. I never wanted to be involved in anything they did to you," Justin looked at John carefully, unsure about what he should say, "I know Barrett broke you down but I never wanted a part of that."

"I know. I don't blame you kid," Cena shrugged, "I could tell you didn't want to be involved in it, and then when I found out what they did to Evan things just started to make sense. I'll be honest with you, my plan was never to do this – to bring you here. I was just going after each member in turn, and destroy them one by one, and that's still what I'm gonna do. Ev just suggested that I go after you first as it would give you a chance to get away from them for a while. I think he worried about you, and he was right to be."

"You should have left me there. I got what I deserved." Justin sounded hollow, empty.

"No. I was gonna, but I couldn't leave you on your own. I was just gonna wait until one of the others arrived, to make sure you were looked after. I guess I never thought they'd abandon you like that."

"Nor did I, I guess I'm even more of a worthless whore than they said," Justin took a shuddering breath, trying to keep it together but failing as he broke down, shaking and sobbing into his hands. John's strong arms were around him in a second, encouraging the high flyer to let out his frustration and hurt.

Evan and Randy stood at the door, watching as John comforted their guest. Evan went to walk in but was stopped by his lover, "leave them, Justin will be ok."

Evan nodded, looking up at Randy sadly, "how many other people have they destroyed?"

"I don't know," the Viper sighed, "but it stops here." He pulled Evan close to him, at once grateful that his lover was safe and afraid for all of their futures. He and John would do everything in their power to destroy the Nexus; failure was not something he was willing to contemplate.

Justin sat up stiffly once his tears had dried and he was calm. He looked everywhere except at the man who had comforted him. John smiled gently and with one hand under his chin forced the young man to make eye contact.

"Justin?"

"I'm sorry," he stammered, "you probably think I'm weak."

"No, no. Not at all," John tried to reassure him quickly, "I would never think you're weak."

"I'm sorry for breaking down," he turned away, ashamed of his feelings.

"Never be sorry for showing how you feel. If you ever need to talk, talk to me, please? I know... I know we've never been friends but you need someone and I'm here." John felt like he owed the young man something, something beyond just rescuing him from a terrible situation.

Justin nodded, still evidently unsure, but something told him to trust the older man. Something that felt like safety.

Justin found himself extremely nervous around Evan, not least because Evan knew more than anyone what he had been through and that was something that made him feel ashamed. He couldn't shake the feeling that he should have been stronger, should have fought more, should never have been in that position in the first place. And there was something else. Something nagging in his stomach that told him he should have been able to prevent what happened to Evan. That guilt was eating away at him and it was difficult to hide.

Evan felt uncomfortable too. It was bad enough that Randy and John knew what he'd done, but Justin not only knew, he'd been there on some occasions, he'd seen Evan submit, and that made the younger man feel more vulnerable than he'd ever imagined he could be.

They both skirted around the shared experiences as much as possible, not mentioning anything that might be difficult or challenging. Trying to keep the conversation simple, Evan and Justin found they'd got a lot in common, and were getting on as friends on a simple and basic level. There was a connection beyond their shared difficult experiences and Justin hoped he could hold on to that, as he knew he had precious few people with whom he could share confidences.

Evan had just finished his nightly conversation with Randy and was making his way to his bedroom when, walking past the guest room, he heard sniffling and choked sobs. He stopped at the door, unsure of what to do. He wasn't sure if Justin would want him to see this, or if he wanted to be on his own.

He sighed, walking on to his own room. Justin had been so cagey and reluctant to talk about what had been going on, Evan didn't want to push him into talking before he was ready. At the same time, he knew better than anyone what Justin was going through and how a part of him and been desperate for someone to push past the barriers. Evan couldn't let someone else go through that feeling of being totally and utterly alone. He turned around and went back to the guest room, knocking gently on the door.

When there was no response he pushed it open, whispering softly, "Justin, it's Evan." The only response was a sniffle, so Evan continued carefully, "can I come in?"

Evan could make out Justin rubbing his eyes furiously and sighed, "it's ok."

"It's never going to be ok," came the stuttered response, Justin wiping his eyes again as he sat up, his back against the headboard, wrapping his arms around his knees. "I'm never going to get away from this."

Evan closed his eyes; Justin had just vocalised his own biggest fear. When he said nothing, Justin knew he was right.

"It's never going to end is it?"

"I don't know."

Evan sat on the edge of the bed, not wanting to confront the demons that haunted him. He looked at Justin and saw himself.

"I have nothing left." Justin sounded so hollow, so alone, it broke Evan's heart.

"You have us."

"You just feel sorry for me," Justin spat, and then immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"I understand," god knows Evan understood how difficult it was to trust anyone after what had happened, "we're not going anywhere, I promise."

"I don't deserve it, but thanks," Justin sniffed, trying to calm himself, "you should go back to bed, I'll be ok."

Evan nodded, then paused. He remembered how alone he'd felt at first, and looked at Justin carefully, "do you want me to stay?" When Justin looked up at him with curiosity and a little hope, he explained, "just to sleep, cos I know I felt so alone... even when I didn't think I deserved Randy's love I still needed someone just to be with me so I could pretend things were gonna be ok."

Justin nodded slowly, "I don't wanna feel alone any more."

Evan smiled gently, and prompted Justin to move over, getting into bed and pulling the covers over both of them. He motioned for Justin to move closer and wrapped his arms around him. Softly stroking the South African's dark hair he tried to soothe his fears and in doing that convince himself that they would both be able to get through this. As both of them drifted to sleep they were comforted in the knowledge that neither of them felt alone.