Title: Destroyed (17/?)

Rating: M

Content: slash, violence, unpleasant things that will be revealed throughout

Characters: Raw Roster, main characters Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Cena

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue

Distribution: ffn, lj, anywhere else ask first

Summary: Evan has a terrible secret, Randy and John are determined to help him, but Evan knows what's at stake should anyone find out. Set around current Raw storylines (loosely).

Note:Thanks for the reviews, story alerts and favourites! I hope you're enjoying.

Sleep did not come to Evan that night. As Randy slumbered next to him, he went over and over in his mind what had happened, what Randy had said. He knew that his lover didn't trust him still, he was resigned to that and no one more than him realised more that he would forever be tainted by what he had done.

He felt horrible that he had made Randy feel scared – the man was strong, fearless, aggressive, and Evan hated what he had done to him. He felt that familiar guilt in his stomach and the sense that he wasn't worthy of the love he was given. Randy had done everything that Evan needed but still Evan felt like he'd messed things up.

Something else hung in his head too: Randy's confession that he thought Justin could understand and support Evan was something the younger man hadn't even considered. He got on well with Justin, but if anything was more uncomfortable because Justin knew what had happened. They hadn't talked about that and he realised it was something that he would have to address with both Randy and Justin before he could move on.

Evan's thoughts briefly touched on Justin and how protective John appeared to be over him. John was a loyal friend, and someone who would take care of those he felt deeply for, and the prospect of John falling for Justin was not as ridiculous as Evan might previously have thought. He hoped that they could all find solace and care because things could potentially get a lot worse before they got better.

"Stop thinking," Randy whispered, turning over and pulling Evan into his arms again, "morning gorgeous."

"Randy," Evan sighed, accepting the kiss that was given.

The viper pulled back slightly to take a proper look at his lover, "Ev, what is it?" He was immediately worried, Evan looked like he'd been crying.

"Don't worry about it," Evan shrugged, "I'll be ok."

"Talk to me," Randy knew it had taken a long time to actually get Evan to open up to him and didn't want him rebuilding his defences. He knew he'd hurt Evan with his confession the night before and didn't want his own insecurities to become a barrier to their relationship.

"I will," he nodded, pressing a kiss to Randy's forehead, "just not now. You go back to sleep."

Sleepily Randy nodded, putting his arms around Evan again and pulling the lithe body close. He wasn't quite coherent enough to protest but wanted Evan to feel protected and loved, actions proving what words couldn't.

Evan accepted the embrace and eventually drifted into a fitful sleep.

John awoke before Justin later that morning, and savoured the feeling of having the younger man in his arms. It felt right, and he was surprised at that. He wasn't looking for a relationship, he wasn't looking for commitment, and he didn't know what Justin wanted. He knew the younger man was damaged by his experiences and didn't want to add to that, but his heart was already telling him that he would do whatever it took to bring Justin back to the shining star that he knew he could be.

He didn't want Justin to wake up alone, so he just laid in bed, watching him sleep, surprised at the contented feeling that gave him.

Everyone eventually got out of bed around lunchtime, and Evan busied himself making brunch while Randy and John eventually shared the news of their exploits beating down more members of the Nexus. Justin couldn't help a smile as John described with glee about how he beat the hell out of Otunga and threw Heath out of the ring so hard he nearly went over the guard rail. Both would likely take several weeks to recover from their injuries.

"When there's only Barrett left, I'm going after a match which will get me my job back," John explained, "and then we're going to destroy him."

"Are you sure you'll get your job back John?" Evan asked cautiously.

"Certain," John replied with a little more confidence than he actually had. "Randy's got my back."

The Viper nodded in response, "of course." He then had a thought, "Justin, can you help us?"

The South African looked up in surprise, "if I can."

"Do you know why Barrett's doing this? I mean, I know it's something to do with me," Randy explained, "but I don't get it. It isn't about the title, it's not about John, or Evan... what does he hope to achieve?"

"He wants the Nexus to have ultimate control," Justin shrugged, "he resents you because you were the youngest champion, because you got everything so easily. And," he looked down at his hands, unsure of whether to tell the truth or not, "he used to say that he wanted to destroy you to prove a point. Without wrestling you'd have nothing. John, he has his movies, Hunter and Undertaker both have their families, outside interests. You, he thought, would be lost without wrestling, and he wanted to show that he had the power to take away the thing that was most important to people."

John took a deep breath. The reasoning had shaken him to his core, yet it made some sense. Randy had always been a loner, had tried to escape the shame of his military experiences, had used wrestling to build himself a future. Barrett had been right on the mark that Randy would have been lost without it.

Justin tentatively continued, "he was jealous, as well. You and John were so loyal to each other without there being any condition to it. And he saw how Evan worshipped you. He knew he could never command that kind of loyalty or respect, so he used what he did have to try to break you."

Evan stopped his food preparation completely and quickly walked over to where Randy was sat, putting his arms around him. He realised what an impact Justin's words would have on Randy and wanted to show him in whatever way possible that it wasn't his fault.

Randy felt cold, deathly cold. He felt Evan's arms around him but couldn't react. He tried to process the information and the realisation that Barrett had been right, that he was nothing without his career, shook him. It was a fact that he'd tried to avoid acknowledging, even though he'd always known deep down that it was true. He realised that everything Barrett had done to Evan, to John, was because of a vendetta against him, and that broke him completely. He stood up, brushing off Evan's embrace, and walked off.

Evan looked at John, wanting direction as to what to do. John motioned to the young man to follow his lover, knowing that despite what he did and the impression he gave, Randy would not want to be alone right now. Evan nodded and followed Randy, hoping that he could be enough to bring him back from the brink.

John could see that Justin was cursing himself for saying what he did, and tried his best to calm him, "we needed to know," he whispered. "Barrett can't be allowed to get away with what he's doing."

"I hate him so much," Justin hissed, "I hate what he's done to you, to Evan, to Randy, to me. All of it."

"Justin, why did you stay with him?" John asked softly. It was the only thing that didn't make sense.

"I only have a Nexus contract," the young man admitted, "without the Nexus I don't have a job. Not only that, he wouldn't let me leave, if I challenged him, he..." the words remained unspoken but John had some idea of Barrett's method of controlling the younger man, "and, you know, when wrestling is all we have, we'll do anything to keep it in our lives." Justin left unspoken the similarities between himself, Evan and Randy.

"We'll get you a contract, you will have no reason to go back to him."

"You don't even have one yourself right now John," Justin laughed bitterly, "and anyway, you think he's gonna let this lie? He's so close to what he wants right now, he can taste it."

"This. Ends." John punctuated each word sharply. "We won't let him win, I promise you. Please don't give up on us now Justin, we're gonna need you."

"You're gonna need me?" he looked up in surprise, "why?"

"You know Barrett better than any of us," John shrugged, "you're one of the most talented guys I've seen in a while, anyone would want you on their side."

"You think I'm talented?" Justin couldn't quite get past that.

"Sure I do. I've watched you Justin. You're good."

"Thank you," Justin was wide eyed with wonder. "That means a lot, especially from you."

"I don't praise anyone unless I mean it," John smiled at the younger man. "Now I've had an idea about how we can get rid of Barrett once and for all, but I will need your help."

Evan followed Randy up to the bedroom, worried beyond words about how Justin's revelation would have affected him. Despite his exterior, Randy was fragile right now and Evan prayed that it wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Randy?" Evan's voice was soft and nervous.

The Viper barely reacted to his lover's voice, continuing to stare out of the window, not seeing anything except his own misery. He was lost in his own world. Evan walked up to him and placed one hand on his back, not wanted to scare his lover but at the same time needing him to know that he was loved and that Evan wasn't going anywhere, no matter what. The high flyer just rubbed Randy's back gently, waiting until he felt him start to relax before speaking. He didn't know what to say, but knew what he needed Randy to know.

"I love you, never forget that."

Finally, Randy reacted. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against the glass of the window, "you shouldn't."

"I do. And nothing you say or do is going to change that." Evan grew in confidence. "I love you and need you and I am not going away."

"Look at what I've done."

Evan sighed, "yes, look at what you've done. You've kept me going, you've saved Justin from god knows what abuse, you've been there for John throughout all of this and you've given me strength and love far beyond what I deserve."

"You deserve better than me," Randy turned around to face the young man who was trying desperately to comfort him, "you wouldn't even be in this situation if it wasn't for me."

"And I wouldn't know what love felt like if it wasn't for you."

The simple declaration stopped Randy's dangerous and destructive train of thought, and he looked at Evan as if seeing him for the first time. "You mean that?" he hardly dared ask.

"Yes." Evan took the opportunity to pull Randy closer to him, and with both hands gently stroked his cheeks, forcing the older man to look at him. "Randy, this is not your fault, you are an amazing person who inspires people every day. Most of all me. Don't let him play on your insecurities like he did mine."

"How can you even look at me knowing that he did those things to you because of me?"

"He did those things because he could. Because I let him," Evan shuddered as horrific memories assailed him for moment, "but that doesn't matter. What matters is the here and now and I love you and you love me," Evan's voice wavered for a moment, like he was unsure whether or not that was true.

"I do love you, never doubt that," Randy growled suddenly.

"Then we're going to be ok." Evan pulled Randy into his arms and kissed him slowly and sensually, not letting up until he felt Randy react and respond. As he felt Randy's arms snake around him, Evan knew he'd got through. They would survive this.