Disclaimer: I don't own the magnificent world of Merlin.
Warning! This chapter has some violence in it.
A/N Thanks for all the lovely reviews, it really helps me focus. This is the longest chapter yet, it's not where I wanted it to go, but it's where it ended up. I should give up making plans, they never seem to flow with my writing. Anyway, enjoy.
Merlin had of course no idea where he was going, where Morgana was or how to destroy this source thing. But he had however acquired a sword for Arthur (it was hardly legal but it did the job of keeping him quiet) he was now swinging it with a curious expression on his face muttering underneath his breath about balance or lack of. Merlin shook his head, it seemed no matter what Morgana did some things never changed and for that he was glad.
Trekking through bandit invested woods without magic was not a favourite pastime of Merlin's, but he had to find Morgana. He was going on instinct and had decided that since this magic was powerful, unpredictable and evil she must have done it in an area that was closely tied to the old religion. That left him with the Valley of the Fallen Kings or The Isle of the Blessed. He had discounted the Isle of the Blessed because of the distance, for the magic to be as potent as it was it had to be closer. Morgana after all only had a limited amount of power.
Merlin himself was only just becoming to understand just what Morgana had done. Morgana didn't have the power to erase memories, not on this scale and therefore the memories were simply being repressed. Her magic however didn't seem to be clever enough nor powerful enough to create false ones. This conclusion had come from his magic, she couldn't have stripped him of such a huge part of himself without him dying and he could still feel the humming power of such beautiful but neutral magic inside of him. He couldn't help the rage inside of him when he thought of what Morgana had done; this magic should never be used. It was an abuse of everything magic is and was.
Morgana simply did not understand magic, and one day – hopefully soon- that would be her downfall.
"Where are we going Mer-lin" Arthur drawled, he didn't seem angry or even bored. Merlin supposed his sword was keeping him occupied.
"To find Morgana." Merlin replied crossly, honestly sometimes Arthur was worse than a child.
"And where is Morgana?"
"Somewhere, I could tell you but you won't remember it anyway."
"Can you stop making fun of my disability; it's not my fault that some crazy woman wiped my memories." Arthur growled. Merlin just shrugged.
"It's normally your fault to be fair."
"It's not."
"How can you prove it if you can't remember it?"
"Shut up Merlin." Merlin rolled his eyes; it was so typically Arthur to tell him to shut up when he was winning an argument. They were still quite a trek from the Valley, and of course Merlin had no idea if that's where she actually was.
But you know it felt like he was being productive. Plus Camelot was far too creepy at the moment- returning didn't seem an option.
"If you were an evil sorceress hell bent on destruction of Camelot and had just performed an incredibly dark spell that would weaken your enemies- how long would you wait before attacking." Merlin asked, he dreaded the answer he doubted the response would be 'several weeks'.
"Not very long" Arthur mused thoughtfully "I wouldn't want to give my enemies the chance to break the spell."
"But Morgana is big headed… she probably thinks we have no idea that anything is wrong…"
"This Morgana is related to me right?" Arthur asked abruptly. Merlin frowned before answering cautiously.
"Yes… half-sister."
"Then she won't wait. If she's anything like me she will be impatient… plus she wouldn't want to take the chance."
"You might be right."
"Might? Who's the King here?" Arthur laughed. "Of course I'm right."
"Well… not to be funny but since you didn't know you were a King this morning it kind of makes you less reliable."
"Some evil hag cast a spell on me, that means it's not my fault." Arthur said angrily "I'm not happy about this either." He paused before giving Merlin a suspicious side look "How come you aren't affected?"
"Luck of the Irish?" Merlin pondered with a giant grin.
"But you're not Irish!" Arthur pointed out; Merlin gave a chuckle and sped up. The rest of the day was spent bickering until they reached the valley. The place had always given Merlin the creeps, despite its significance to the Old Religion; it had an evil vibe and tonight was no different. As Merlin and Arthur crawled up towards the edge of the valley, belly's scratching against the hard ground all was silent- even the vibrant life of the wood was absent. It was enough to make shivers go up anyone's spine. As they peered over the edge they both had to hold in gasps. There in the Valley were easily a hundred or more men, but what was more frightening was the fact that several of the men appeared to be using magic. Camelot could destroy Morgana's forces but they couldn't destroy a sorcerer.
Drifting through the group, an ever maniacal smile upon her face was Morgana. Merlin's hand thrust itself into the ground, the feel of the earth somewhat grounding him and preventing him from jumping from the ledge and scratching her eyes out.
Merlin inhaled deeply reminding himself that without his magic he was useless, in fact worse than useless. He didn't even have a sword. Not that he knew how to use it.
Arthur however was faring better, whether or not this was because he couldn't remember her Merlin couldn't tell. Instead he was calmly surveying the camp, probably taking in all the weakness' not that they appeared to be any.
Arthur made some sort a gesture to Merlin. Merlin frowned and raised his eyebrows at him. How was he supposed to understand that? He could speak Dragon not idiot.
Arthur gestured behind him and Merlin finally got it, they crawled back away from the ledge being extremely careful not to disturb the rocks on the edge of the ledge nor create noise it was a difficult task but once they were five metres back Arthur seemed to decide it was safe to speak.
"Well we can't really go through the front door." Arthur said.
"Well done Arthur for pointing out the obvious." Merlin groaned quietly rubbing his filthy hands onto his trousers.
"I'm sorry but I am new to this."
"Whatever."
"We need a distraction." Arthur pondered. Merlin cursed inwardly, distractions were his speciality… normally.
"There are only two of us, or can't you count."
"Of course I can count you idiot. But there are only two of us and according to you the future of Camelot is resting on our shoulders."
"That's because it is resting on our shoulders" Or more importantly Merlin's shoulders. Again.
"Look, we have to find a way to do this; can we destroy this source thing?" Arthur asked.
"I don't know, I don't even know what we are looking for to be honest, it could be anything." Merlin ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
"But it's not going to be anything is it?" Arthur said suddenly "Morgana is going to use something, it has to be something that she had in her possession and it has to be small enough to move." He looked towards Merlin who just nodded "And it's going to be well protected, so if we just head towards the centre of the guards."
"And get killed."
"Stop being cynical."
"I'm being realistic; your head is in the clouds! How can we possibly beat them?"
"I don't know, but it's sure better than sitting here whining about it." Arthur scolded harshly.
"I know." Merlin sighed and clenched his fists. "So how we going to do this?"
"Well… we need to get down there and see what they are talking about. Try to find out where the highest concentrations of guards are and then get the source."
"Something tells me it's not going to be that simple."
"Well probably not… but if we can't get it we can at least get back to Camelot and warn them."
"Yes, but remember they don't know who you are." Merlin pointed out "They won't listen to either of us."
"Merlin I don't know who I am! We best not fail though." He thought for a moment "It would make fighting easier if I remember how to do it."
"Now or never then?" Merlin said staggering to his feet and leading the way round the outskirts of the camp. It was dark so they were well covered, the flicker of the flames at the camp and the slight glow of the moon were the only light. Merlin could feel his heart pounding in his chest; he had never been this terrified before. The slope down to the encampment was steep and it took all of their strength not to slip or create noise, sweat was dripping from his brow now. The blood rush in his ears deafening him. Arthur gestured to their left and so Merlin followed, keeping to the shadows whilst Morgana's men chatted by the fires- their mind on things other than guarding.
"Come on "Arthur muttered pulling on his arm, Merlin realised that he had slowed his walk to a crawl and quietly sped up, his eyes flickering around the armed men within spitting distance. Arthur stumbled to a stop and pointed ahead. Merlin could see Morgana and several men stood about, the men were armed and seemed more alert than the others. It was a good guess that they were defending the source. Morgana nodded her head, bright red lips split into a smile and then she disappeared back into the night. Merlin let out a sigh of relief. Arthur seemed to be considering something; if the source was indeed behind them then they had to get them out of the way.
Arthur looked round at his slight and trembling 'friend'. Even though he didn't know this man he couldn't help but feel the fear that crawled up his throat and narrowed his airways when he realised that Merlin had little to no chance of surviving this. He knew, somehow that Merlin normally approached such things with fearlessness and the fact he was terrified meant something. He just didn't know what. If Merlin didn't stand a chance, no weapon and scared then Arthur would have to cause the distraction. He would have to die for a place he couldn't remember and couldn't remember him. Arthur didn't have chance to inform Merlin of his plans but from the clench of Merlin's jaw he knew that the mysterious man had already guessed.
Arthur pointed to himself and then to the guards, then pointed to merlin and to the floor. The universal stay here. Merlin nodded, he had no choice he couldn't argue and Arthur did have the sword. It was logical but unforgiveable. He was letting the man he had protected for four years to sacrifice himself.
"Stay alive." Merlin whispered urgently to Arthur who smiled and dashed forward towards the guards.
"Look!" One of the men shouted
"It's King Arthur! Someone alert Morgana" Shouted another in terror, Merlin closed his eyes and willed himself to calm down.
"Scared boys? Need big Morgana to come sort out your problems?" Arthur called back; he had started backing towards the woods, the far side of the men. Unconsciously they began to step towards him it was then that Arthur set off at a sprint, the men following quickly. Idiots.
Merlin knew he had to run for it now, and so he did. Sprinting forward he reached where then men had been standing behind which was a small cave, barely big enough for a man to stand in, he slipped inside and reached for the faintly growing object at the back of the shallow cave.
His hand was almost there. His fingers mere centimetres away.
Fire erupted inside himself, the most intense pain he had ever felt. Eating away at him, burning his insides.
He couldn't help but let out the blood curdling scream. The agony of his own magic attacking him was unbearable but numbly, head spinning he pulled the object into his hand. He clutched it to his chest.
He was suddenly aware of the blood pouring from his nose and ears, dripping into his open screaming mouth. A hand reached for him and pulled him from the small cave. The pain did not disappear and he realised that although his eyes were open he could not see.
"Merlin!" Arthur yelled his voice tight with pain and worry. Merlin tried to say he was alright, but he was still screaming.
The object in his hand shook and someone began to try and prise it from his grip but his hand was frozen around it. Merlin forced himself to begin to block it. The pain became tolerable and his mouth snapped shut and his vision span back painfully, his eyes burning. He could see a beaten Arthur and twenty or so men surrounding them and then he saw her, the nightmare herself Morgana. Her chin was tilted upwards as she considered him and Merlin stared into those dark eyes, eyes once full of friendship and kindness. Now hard and unforgiving.
Morgana flicked her hand and most of the men disappeared, leaving four. Two on each of them.
"Do you feel it?" Morgana said softly her voice cackling with malice "Do you feel it?"
Merlin spat the blood out of his mouth, aiming at her feet; she twitched angrily but otherwise remained unmoved.
"Manners Merlin, I thought you would know better than that." She almost cooed, taking his chin in her hand she forced him to look at her. Merlin didn't respond he knew that would irk her more than anything he could say. "Do you feel it Merlin, your desire. It's what's making you like this." Merlin flinched.
"Let him go!" Arthur yelled, followed by a thumb and a moan of pain.
"Merlin… you know that this is what you want." She said her voice low, soothing. Merlin almost complied but his magic rose angrily inside him.
He closed his eyes focusing on his magic that had caused him such agony; it was swirling inside him, lashing out at the force that held it back. His magic was fighting even when Merlin couldn't control it.
"It isn't." Merlin whispered.
"Yes it is. Don't you see?" Her voice was no longer soothing it was harsh angry and evil. Merlin opened his eyes and glared at her.
"No it isn't."
"It is your darkest desire, what is your darkest desire I wonder? Recognition? A place upon the council? What would a mere serving boy desire?"
"I didn't desire this, I didn't want this."
"Yes you did."
"No Morgana, why do you never understand? I didn't want this; it's what I felt like on my lowest day… in my darkest moment. But I never actually wanted it- if I had had the power to do this I wouldn't have."
"You all wanted this, when you think about it… you brought it on yourself."
"You are wrong, you are always wrong because you never understand and you never learn."
"What could I learn from fools like you?"
"I don't see?" Merlin laughed painfully thinking back to her previous words "You don't see. Gaius never wanted a plague just so that he was needed, Arthur would have never abandoned the throne…. I never craved power. I never wanted this." He broke off choking slightly "If you think about it Morgana… your darkest desire as you call ours would be to be back in Camelot… with us. Don't deny it Morgana we all know its true." He saw the slap coming but couldn't help the gasp of pain. "Hurt's doesn't it; you want that more than anything we want…"
"I think you have said your piece, boy. Now, now you die." She raised her hand and Merlin's eyes slid shut.
And then, silence.
A/N Oooo! Cliffhanger! Sorry won't be too long till update, hopefully in a week or so. What do you think is going to happen next? And what did you think? Thanks for reading.