I had to split this chapter up so it wasn't too long, but that just means there's another chapter between here and the end ; )
-kbrewster.
Ian Doyle had been driving around in circles. The sun was starting to come up. Now, so he'd been out for at least a couple of hours. He was confused and angry. Partly at Emily for going to such extremes to keep him away from Declan and partly at himself. When he found Emily and Gabby in Paris, he had every intention of getting his revenge on Emily. His plans seemed to keep failing. He wanted to take Gabby, just like Emily took Declan. He wanted Emily to come looking for the girl, and then he wanted to kill them both. At least, that's what he thought he wanted in the beginning.
Being around Emily again made him remember Lauren. He knew Lauren Reynolds was just her cover name. He knew Lauren Reynolds didn't exist, at least not in the same way he existed; not in the same way Emily Prentiss existed. He couldn't help but wonder how much of Lauren Reynolds was actually Emily Prentiss. Was she really that good at making people fall in love with her? Did she really enjoy having intimacies with just anyone? No, he told himself. All of the emotions on her end couldn't have been forced. He could see it in her eyes every time he looked into them, every time they uttered the words "I love you", every time they made love. She loved him, maybe just as much as he loved her. Maybe he still did, he wasn't sure. She also loved Declan, that much he knew. She was always good with him, she always seemed to know what was wrong before anyone else did. She put her own life on the line for his. You couldn't fake that, either. Ian knew that. In fact, he could recall the first time he'd ever seen Lauren and Declan interact. That was how he knew he could easily fall in love with Lauren Reynolds.
Summer 2003
Ian had just returned from a deal- one he'd had to go on without Lauren. When he left, the brunette had still been in bed, sleeping peacefully. Rather than wake her and disturb her, he left her a note, promising to return quickly. He kissed her lightly on the forehead, and then he left.
It had taken him all day to complete the job, the sun had set now. He knew it was just about time for Declan to go to bed, if he wasn't in bed already. The possibility lead Ian to open the door to the Italian villa slowly, hoping it wouldn't creak loudly. He crept up the stairs, eyebrows furrowing at the sound of laughter coming from Declan's bedroom. He checked his watch again, making sure he was right about the time. Declan should have been in bed at least an hour ago.
Confused, he walked slowly to the door, standing right outside the doorframe out of sight. He expected to see Louise in the room with the boy, trying to get him to calm down enough to go to bed. He was honestly surprised at what he saw.
"Are you tired yet?" Lauren asked, grabbing an animated Declan from off the bed he had been jumping on, the little boy squirming in protest.
"Nope!" Declan exclaimed as Lauren let him down. She put her hands on her hips, furrowing her eyebrows as if in deep thought. "Hmm… you know what'll make you sleepy?" Lauren asked the boy.
"What?" Declan asked, spinning around in circles, his burst of energy seeming to never end.
"The tickle monster!" Lauren said excitedly, picking the boy up and sitting herself on Declan's bed, with Declan in her lap. She tickled the boy, sending him into a fit of seemingly uncontrollable giggles. He tried to break free, but Lauren didn't let him go. She too, was giggling like a child, as if she didn't want to be anywhere else but where she was- with Declan.
Their game continued for a few minutes, before Lauren stopped, sitting him upright in her lap again allowing him to catch his breath from all the laughing and wiggling he'd been doing.
"That was fun, Lauren!" Declan said happily. "I like you," he continued, throwing his little arms around her neck. Lauren smiled. Ian had never seen her smile like that in the time he'd known her, and he liked it. It made her more exceedingly beautiful than she already was.
"It was fun, thank you for letting me play with you," she told him. "But," she added. "I think it's way past somebody's bedtime. Mister 'I'm-not-tired!'"
"I'm still not-" he yawned. "Tired," he finished, laying his head on Lauren's shoulder.
"Mhm, I'm sure you're not," Lauren said, laughing lightly at the boy. "What about if you lay down, and I read you a story?"
"Okay!" Declan agreed, sliding himself off of Lauren's lap, walking over to the small bookcase in his room, carefully picking out the perfect bedtime story. He went back over to Lauren, extending the book out to her.
"Goodnight Moon," Lauren read the title. "Sounds good," she smiled. "Hop on up here and lie down so I can read it," she said, turning down the covers on the bed, allowing Declan to climb in. She pulled the covers up to his chin, ruffling his hair lightly as she sat next to him on the edge of the bed. She read the story, using different voices and making silly faces, causing Declan to laugh tiredly.
By the end of the book, Declan's eyes were closing involuntarily. Lauren stood up, and placed the book over on Declan's night stand.
"Goodnight, Declan," she said softly, kissing his forehead and straightening out the covers.
"Goodnight, Lauren," Declan mumbled sleepily. "Thanks for the story," he added, before finally closing his eyes, falling asleep nearly instantly.
Lauren tip-toed out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her. She jumped when she saw Ian standing by the door.
"Jesus!" She whispered harshly. "You scared me,"
"Sorry, Love," he said, pulling her in for a kiss.
When they broke apart, Lauren still had that smile plastered on her face. Ian loved it.
"What is it, Love?" Ian asked, pretending he hadn't witnessed the entire scene.
"It's just… I spent the day with Declan. He's so adorable!" Lauren gushed. Normally, she accompanied him on deals. She'd hardly spent any time at all with Declan before today.
"He's a good kid," Ian said.
"Yeah," Lauren agreed. "Louise was busy trying to get stuff done, and I could hear him begging her to play with him. Since I was stuck here all day, I decided to take him to let her work. Then tonight, he kept claiming he wasn't tired, no matter how many times Louise put him down. So I offered to go play with him to tire him out. I guess it worked, because now he's asleep," she said excitedly, obviously somewhat proud of herself.
"I saw you reading to him," Ian admitted. "You're good with him,"
"I've never really been around kids much before," Lauren said.
"Well, you're great at it. You'll make a fine mother someday," Ian told her honestly. Watching Lauren's excitement over spending time with Declan, seeing how much she seemed to care about him already- that was the moment Ian knew he was in love with Lauren Reynolds.
May 2021 (Present Day)
Ian thought he hated her now. But he couldn't seem to shake those old feelings from his mind. He couldn't look at Emily and not remember Lauren. He wanted Lauren to marry him- he wanted her to be Declan's mother. He wanted them to become a family. Instead, he lost everything he ever loved. It didn't make sense to him.
Emily had made sure Declan was unable to be located. Wherever he was, she was damned good at keeping it a secret. Was he really that bad? Such a horrible father that the existence of his own son had to be kept a secret from him? He knew what he did for a living. On some small level, he knew it was wrong. He knew he was a criminal, wanted in more than one country at that time in his life. But to him, it was the job. It was how he provided for Declan. Maybe it wasn't the best environment to raise a child in, but he was sure he could have made it work. He wished he would have tried a little harder, listened to Lauren more. Maybe if he'd listened to her, maybe if he'd let her get him out, they'd be a family right now. But he was here, Lauren didn't exist, and Declan had been raised by somebody else and was now grown up.
He stopped at a red light, and hit the steering wheel repeatedly, yelling out in anger, frustration, and maybe even a little bit of sadness. He couldn't do it, he decided. He couldn't kill Emily. He couldn't kill Lauren. He couldn't kill her daughter, either. Even though he knew that was the one thing he could take away to make her feel like he'd felt all these years. He couldn't do it. He knew how much Gabby meant to Emily. She might have loved Declan like he was hers, but Gabby was hers. Even if she'd never mentioned it as Lauren before, he would have known just by how she acted around Declan that she would someday like to have her own child. She had one, now.
As soon as the light turned green, he hit the gas. He didn't even know where in the Hell he was. He pushed all thoughts of Emily, of Lauren, and of Declan out of his mind. He put all his focus onto figuring out where he was and finding the warehouse again.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Hotch paced the length of his living room, waiting for something, anything really. He had spent nearly all night on the phone with the local police department, begging for them to put in a request for Morgan's team to come help. Morgan's hands were tied until they got the official invite. Nobody seemed like they wanted to help him. It was morning now, he noted. He didn't know how long he'd been pacing.
His phone rang, nearly scaring him to death.
"Hello?" he answered, not bothering to check the name.
"Mr. Hotchner? The request for the help of Unit Chief Derek Morgan's help in finding your wife and daughter has been sent in and approved. They're flying out in an hour," the voice on the other end of the line said.
Hotch sighed in relief, at least now he was on the right track. Gabby had been gone nearly a week, and Emily had been gone over 24 hours by now. He knew he needed to be calmer, to try to rationalize his thoughts. He might have even been able to figure out where they were had he been thinking clearly. But how could he? It was impossible, he decided. He knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep or any kind of closure until he had Emily and Gabby back where they belonged.
So, he did the only thing he could physically make himself do, he continued his pacing. He thought long and hard about Doyle, and what he had done so far. He thought about Emily, and her connection to him when she took on the role of Lauren Reynolds. He paced for awhile, surprised he hadn't burned a hole right through the floor.
Suddenly, everything started to make sense to him. He knew where they were. At least, he thought he knew. If he was right, he'd have Emily and Gabby back in no time. He hurriedly ran around the house, trying to find his phone, calling none other than Derek Morgan when he found it.