*apparating into Hogsmeade*
Harry: Well, we're back.
Dumbledore: All thanks to me.
Harry: Even though I was the one apparating us.
Dumbledore: Yep, all thanks to me.
Rosmerta: *bursting out of the Three Broomsticks* Where the hell have you two been?
Harry: We weren't gone that long.
Rosmerta: Yeah, but it was long enough for that to happen *points out the Dark Mark above the Astronomy Tower*
Harry: …oh boy, that can't be good.
Rosmerta: Damn right it isn't.
Dumbledore: *grabbing a broomstick* Well, guess we better head up there.
Rosmerta: HEY! That's my broom.
Dumbledore: Not anymore it isn't *takes off*
Harry: *grabbing another broom* Sorry, I'll bring these back later, I promise *takes off*
Rosmerta: You fucking better.
*in the Astronomy Tower*
Dumbledore: Alright, who's dead?
Harry: Sir, I'm not sure that the dead can hear you.
Dumbledore: Fine, who's still alive up here?
Harry: I'm starting to think this might be an ambush.
Dumbledore: Why would you think that?
Harry: The fact that we can hear someone running up the stairs, maybe?
Dumbledore: Could be someone running to tell me what's going on?
Harry: Either way, I'm getting the hell out of here *puts on his invisibility cloak*
Dumbledore: Oh no you don't. Petrificus Totalus *hits Harry with the spell*
Harry: Son of a… *hits floor as door bursts open*
Draco: EXPELLIARMUS! *disarms Dumbledore*
Dumbledore: Well done Draco. However, next time you should aim for someone who's actually an enemy.
Draco: I did.
Dumbledore: I see. So, I take it you were the one trying to kill me all year with those poorly done assassination attempts?
Draco: What do you mean, poorly done? I hurt people, didn't I?
Dumbledore: You did. But how close did any of your attempts get to me?
Draco: SHUT UP! I have you at my mercy. You're weak and wandless, all I have to do is say the spell, and…
Dumbledore: …and yet, you're still talking, and not killing me.
Draco: STOP MOCKING ME!
Dumbledore: You know, most people in your position would have killed me by now. But not you. You suck at this.
Draco: I will kill you.
Dumbledore: Oh, wait, I get it. You need to do your villainous monologue first. Well, go ahead, start with why you feel the need to do this.
Draco: He's going to kill me and my family if I don't.
Dumbledore: Aww, Tommy boy's that upset over your daddy's failings, is he?
Draco: Don't mock them like that.
Dumbledore: How would you like me to mock them then? I take requests.
Draco: SHUT UP! I've let Death Eaters into your school, and there's nothing you can do about that, is there?
Dumbledore: Maybe, maybe not. How did you do that, by the way?
Draco: Through the Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement. The one Montague got stuck in last year. The other one's in Borgin and Burke's.
Dumbledore: Who?
Draco: Oh God, not this conversation again.
Dumbledore: So, is anyone dead, or did you just decide to put the Mark up there for no good reason?
Draco: Oh, someone's dead. Not sure who. Or care. Sadly neither Weasley or Granger are dead. They keep having the weirdest of luck.
Harry: Damn it Hermione, why'd you share with him?
Draco: *hearing that and seeing the second broomstick* Who else is here?
Dumbledore: Does it look like someone else is here?
Draco: Well, no, but…
Amycus: *bursting into the room with three other Death Eaters* Oh my God, you actually have him at your mercy?
Alecto: This is unexpected.
Fenrir: You mean Draco's going to kill Dumbledore, AND I get to have a feast on all the kiddies? *licks lips creepily* This is the best day ever.
Dumbledore: Nah, Draco's not going to kill me.
Fenrir: Of course he is *leans down next to Draco and licks his lips again* Do it boy. Do it. You know you want to.
Draco: I…I do…I… *door flies open again, revealing Snape*
Dumbledore: Oh, hey Severus.
Yaxley: Severus, we have a problem. Draco won't kill Dumbledore.
Snape: Is that so?
Amycus: Yeah, it looks like he doesn't have the balls to do it.
Snape: Well then… *pulls out his wand*
Dumbledore: What are you doing Severus? It's not like you have the balls to do it eith…
Snape: AVADA KEDAVRA! *hits Dumbledore in the chest*
Dumbledore: …huh, apparently you do *falls out the window*
Harry: …Hermione's going to be so mad when she finds out I was right.