I sank into the brown mouldy sofa. For some reason every fibre in my body hated the idea of Rueben seeing me like this.
I hadn't talked to him since the night of the accident, what on earth was I meant to even say?!
"Hey thanks for saving my life I owe you." ? I mean what the fuck?
"Rueben!" Jen exclaimed.
And surely enough he immerged into the basement. His eyes met mine as Jen ran over to him kissing him passionately on the lips.
Fuck. Was my initial thought. It was annoying because I had really liked Jen, but now it was obvious to me that her and Rueben were together or whatever.
"Hey babe, what's up?" He said smiling down at her, as she was considerable shorter than him.
I looked away quickly, this was already embarrassing enough, knowing I had truly thought something might, just might happen.
Idiot was really my first thought. I made a mental note to kick myself.
I felt a rough but gentle hand on my shoulder.
"Miranda.." Rueben said.
"Hey.." I smiled awkwardly, what was I meant to even begin with, I mean he'd seen me cry, I never let people see me crying, I had always thought of it as a sign of weakness.
"Are you ok? I haven't seen you since the accident, I was assuming you might come by the video shop or something." He smiled his beautiful smile. I was beginning to realise what it was like turning to jelly around guys.
"Hey sexy." Jen put her arms around his waist. He flashed his beautiful smile at her, I was momentarily over come by jealously. The effects of Gordo's weed was beginning to wear thin, I no longer could find all this funny.
"So Miranda…" He said sitting next to me on the sofa. "Are you ok? I know you were pretty shook up." His brow wrinkled in concern like a puppies would.
"Yeah, no, really, I'm fine." I smiled. I wish I could have thought of something better to keep him here talking to me. Jen perched on his lap circling his neck with her arms and lightly pecking him on the cheek.
"Hey Jen, this is Miranda, you know the girl who I was in the accident with." He said "Oh my lord! Miranda, I didn't make the connection, yeah me and Miranda know each other, we've just been having a nice little chat, right Miranda." She beamed at me.
She was making it hard for me to dislike her.
"Miranda used to be like best friends with our little Dave." She giggled.
"No kidding.." He looked at me, somewhat intrigued by this fact.
"Oh, yeah, me and Mir, thick as thieves in the old days right Mir?" Gordo laughed putting his hands on my shoulders.
I didn't like this anymore.. I wished I had just gone home, I would have done anything to get our of this situation.
"Yeah.." I said with a small smile, "Actually, I think I best be off." I looked up at Gordo. He took his hands back like they'd been burnt, he looked slightly confused.
"Why Mir? Parties only just started" He joked. "Come on stay a bit and I'll walk you home in a little while."
"No, really, I need to go." I said getting up and making for the stairs.
"Bye Miranda.." I heard Jen say. I walked as quickly as I could to the door, momentarily completely forgetting where it was. I eventually found it and let myself out.
"Hey wait up." I heard someone say behind me. "Hey Miranda, hold up" the yelled after me. Every inch of my being wanted to carry on walking, but I turned around anyway. Rueben jogged up to me.
"Didn't leave on my account did you?" I wrinkled my brow at him "hey, chill, I was joking Miranda." He laughed.
"Oh." I smiled. "No, it was just I have to get home. You know."
"Yeah.." He smiled back "Well let me walk you."
"No, its fine, honest, go back." I really really wanted him to walk me "Its far anyway."
"I want to." He touched my shoulder, I shivered at the touch of those hands.
"Oh, well, ok." I had to stop myself from beaming. I also need to stop myself from thinking him walking me home was anything more than pity, guaranteed he had seen the look on my face when I realised he was with Jen, and guaranteed he had realised how crushed I'd felt. He probably felt sorry for the poor little girl who has a little crush on him. My Spanish temper was getting the better of me, I was beginning to fume. I have a problem where as I often just get anger at people when they haven't even done anything, when in reality its often just me being paranoid.
"Miranda?" I looked over at him suddenly aware of his presence. "Are you alright? You seem tense?" I wished I could believe his generally concerned look. I hate how I do this, I let my mind get in the way. I don't trust people easily, once bitten twice shy as they say, I felt so hurt and angry when Gordo and Lizzie had gone off and left me, I found it difficult to trust anyone since then.
"Oh, sorry, I'm ok." I smiled as best I could.
"Your not." He said and stopped and grabbed my arm. "Come on, tell me, I'm pretty good at listening." He grinned.
I laughed, I knew I couldn't just tell him that it was because he actually had a girl friend, and that I had really, stupidly thought something could have happened. I Sighed.
"Thanks for the concern, really, I think maybe I'm still just a bit shook up about the accident." I lied as best I could. Really, until he'd turned up as a physical reminder the accident, school, my family and all the other things that lately had been plaguing my life has cessed to matter.
"I can understand that." He nodded letting go of my arm as we began to walk. "You know got in an accident once, it was scary thinking about how I could have died. You know, its never something I had thought about, I think I'd convinced myself that I would just live a long life and die of old age, but then the accident happened, it really fucked my up for a while." I glanced over at him, he was looking at the pavement with his hands jammed into his trousers. He looked like such a small child then, vulnerable. And I know it wasn't much of a secret what he'd just said, but it felt nice for him to tell me something like that, something slightly personal. It made me feel a closeness that I hadn't felt for anyone in a long time. I smiled, it was nice, it felt human.
"Yeah. It's something like that." I smiled at him, just so he knew I got what he meant. Maybe he didn't feel any emotion then, but when he looked up at me, I felt so connected to him.
The rest of the walk to mine was slow and relatively quite. I felt comfortable with it, silence is something that I can feel comfortable around. It's a welcome change when you come from a family with my mother in to have a bit of silence.
We approached my gate leading onto my lawn.
"This is it." I said
"Home sweet home." He smiled at me.
"Yeah, I suppose, don't know if I would call it sweet or such." I grinned.
There was a pause, where he looked at me, I wanted to hear so much what he was thinking behind those different coloured eyes.
"Looks at though I got you home safe and sound then."
"Yeah, my knight in shinning armour." I felt embarrassed then. He has a girlfriend, and it was probably becoming even more blatantly clear that I liked him. "I mean you saved me and all." I said trying to rectify the situation.
"I know what you mean Miranda." He placed a hand on my shoulder, his hands felt warm and rough against my cold skin, he didn't move it for what seemed like forever. Instead he let it slowly fall down my arm to my hand. "I'm sorry." He muttered.
"For what?" I managed.
"For bad timing, that's what." He replied.
Long chapter. Ok… So what does everyone think… bit cheesy I reckon, well, no I know its cheesy, it is pure cheese. But I liked the romantic side. Also it's a nice chapter to get myself back into the story. So just tell me what you think. And I will work on it from there. Thank you all. X