Natalya sat on a loveseat in the Clubs strategy room, hugging a plush green cushion against her chest, and glanced around the room.
Erzsébet was writing out the declaration of war on one of the side tables, with Roderich watching her closely and muttering to her every so often. Ivan was standing over the strategy table, staring at the map of the Deck where the red figurines for the Hearts had now been pulled out and placed at Oriasa.
Feeling the waterworks starting up again after that brief moment of clarity, Natalya looked at the floor again while raising the soaked handkerchief to her face. Her mind was becoming numb to her surroundings once again, leaving her only with enough awareness to notice the latest tears dripping down her cheeks.
Katerina was dead.
She's gone.
Where once Katerina's company would comfort her in times of need, there was now an empty void.
"Natalya."
She startled to attention at the sound of her name, and looked up to see Roderich at her side addressing her.
"We need your signature," Roderich informed, pointing at the side table where Erzsébet was now guiding Ivan over to sign the declaration.
Natalya placed the cushion on the couch, and wept her face with her handkerchief as she stood up. Roderich stayed to the side, allowing her to take her own steps towards the table. She walked slowly as she saw her brother take the quill and sign the document. He then handed the quill to Erzsébet and walked back over to the map table.
As Natalya approached the table for her turn, Erzsébet dipped the quill in the inkpot before handing it over silently. Natalya took the quill, and looked at the bottom to see that three signatures were already placed, before adding hers in the last spot. She stared numbly at her signature as she raised her hand again and handed the quill back to Erzsébet.
"It's done then," Erzsébet said.
Natalya backed away as Erzsébet and Roderich prepared to seal the document, and turned towards the map table instead. Her mind a bit more clear for the moment, Natalya steeled herself and tucked her handkerchief in her pocket as she approached the table. Ivan had already circled back around to examine the map from the Clubs side in the north, so Natalya stood opposite him at the Diamonds side and observed the various figurines on the board.
The armies for Clubs and Spades were amassed closely at the border, with the largest cluster along the side of Imperial Lake. Some Spade armies were also positioned southward along the border with Diamonds, close to where Antonio's soldiers were strategically positioned. All three kingdoms had their Royals currently in their capitals, with Nodiff and Zorora confirmed. Shoburgh was only presumed, as Ace Matthew would've returned after their last battle the other day.
She then glanced towards the right at the addition of the red Heart figurines at the board. The soldier figurines were merely placed in front of Oriasa at the moment, ready to be moved as soon as Hearts military movement was confirmed. At the capital were the figurines of the Hearts Royals, with the exception of the Jack figurine positioned in Nodiff with the Club Royals.
As she glanced at the map as a whole, with all four colours of figurines now blurring together, a clear and concise thought finally cut through the grief and shock in her mind.
"She would not have wanted this," Natalya disapproved, "Katya did not want this war in the first place."
"It's too late to dwell on that," Ivan rebuffed, "She should not have died."
"I know," Natalya acknowledged, "If only Feliciano had been caught sneaking into Nodiff, we could've prevented it."
"Indeed," Ivan pressed, "And where were your guards at the time?"
"At their posts, where they belonged," Natalya repeated the report from earlier this afternoon, "Feliciano disguised himself to sneak among them."
"They should've caught him," Ivan charged, "You should've made sure they knew to watch for him."
"You should've made sure they knew to watch for him?" Natalya reiterated in astonishment, "Did you really just imply that I should've known he was here?"
"The palace guards are your responsibility," Ivan ascribed, "You clearly didn't train them well enough."
"You're not actually blaming me for this, are you?" Natalya protested, "Katerina is dead because Feliciano slipped past the guards -"
"Your guards," Ivan interrupted.
"- and you dare say that is my fault?" Natalya continued, "After spending months fighting a war you picked with Spades -"
"They started it -"
"- a war that Katerina tried to prevent us from declaring in the first place -"
"Because they are assholes -"
"- you now accuse me of failing to prevent her death? You now say it's my fault that Feliciano snuck past the guards and shot her from the ramparts?"
"You should've protected her -"
"And how the fuck was I supposed to do that? Was I supposed to jump in front of her, and take an enchanted arrow I couldn't see coming? How about yourself, you were closer to her than I was, why didn't you do it?"
"I'm the King of Clubs, I'm not expendable."
"And I am? The Ace of Clubs, who is now your only remaining living sister, is expendable?"
"You are not expendable, Natalya," Erzsébet interrupted, having circled around to her right while Roderich stood by Natalya's left.
"Well, that's all fine and dandy coming from you," Natalya snapped, "I need to hear my brother say it."
"Natalya, now is not the time for such questions -"
"Shut up, Roderich, I want an answer," Natalya demanded, "Tell me, Ivan, would you rather have me dead in Katya's place right now?"
Silence overtook the room as Natalya glared at her brother, whose only answer was to return her glare. After a long and tense moment, Ivan finally opened his mouth.
"You could've prevented her death -"
"Go fuck yourself."
"Natalya -"
Roderich tried to grab her left arm as she moved away from the table, but she immediately swatted it away instead before storming out of the room in a blind rage. She barreled through the castle hallways, not paying any attention to where she was going or who saw her as she processed the turmoil of grief and wrath overtaking her mind.
Next she knew, she had reached the terrace doors and gone outside, and paused a moment to overlook the gardens. The beautiful day had disappeared into a miserable evening, with the weather turning sour and blowing the snow around in every direction. Her feet moved instinctively down the steps and into the blizzard, taking her into the gardens where perhaps the cold wind and snow would numb her mind and make her forget everything.
After several paces into the gardens, her foot caught on something beneath the snow, and Natalya fell to the ground. As she regained her bearings, she recognized the edge of the fountain beside her, and crawled towards it. Far too overwhelmed by despair to get up and keep moving, she crossed her arms and placed them on the very edge of the frozen water, before burying her head in to cry some more.
She waited for the howling wind and the numbing of the cold snow to drown out her thoughts, but her mind resisted. The blizzard matched her emotions as she felt devastated, cold, and thrashed around by the world. Katerina was gone, she could no longer comfort her. Ivan won't help her through this, and neither will Erzsébet or Roderich.
She was alone, nobody would listen to her.
He would listen to her.
Natalya lifted her head and gasped in the frigid air as she focused on this new thought. Antonio had promised to be there for her, hadn't he? To be a friend, and to listen when she needed someone to talk to? Abandoning her to suffer alone in grief is the last thing he would do, right?
But he is in Zorora right now, how can he come to her? What if she went to him?
"Jokers, I need you," Natalya croaked out, her voice nearly collapsing on her, "Please."
After a few deep breaths to calm her nerves, Natalya saw someone's feet appear beside her.
"Why are you out here in the snow?" Gilbert asked as he knelt down beside her, "You don't even have a cloak on!"
"Antonio," Natalya requested, "Take me to Antonio, please."
"Antonio?" Gilbert checked as he wrapped an arm across her back, "Why him?"
"Just do it, please," Natalya begged.
"He's arguing with Francis at the moment, I shouldn't disturb them," Gilbert determined, "How about I take you to the Isle of Mediation in the meantime? You'll be out of this weather, and can calm down in a safe, neutral space. When I see Antonio is available, I'll fetch him and bring him to you."
Natalya nodded to the plan, and felt Gilbert gently grab her wrist with his free hand. She hardly noticed the snow and howling winds disappear amidst the streaks of grey and black in her vision from the teleportation.