Culpabilité

It was a Friday.

It was nighttime.

You know the drill.

Luka paused from sipping his coffee to look up at Kagami. She was staring into her hot chocolate, but was not taking a sip.

Reaching across the small coffee-shop table, he lightly tapped her forehead between the brows to catch her attention. Kagami, startled from her reverie, looked up to meet his cerulean eyes which were crinkled a bit in the corners with concern.

"You okay?" he asked her.

"Yeah," she replied somewhat distantly. "You?"

He nodded in response. A few more moments passed before he finally spoke up again.

"You're not running away, you know," he assured her. "Neither of us are."

"I know," Kagami sighed. "But not everyone knows that. And I'm tired of justifying my decisions to move out of Paris for school to everybody… especially myself."

"You don't need to justify your decisions to anyone," Luka hesitantly reached over to place his hand on top of hers. "Even if you were 'running away', that's not necessarily a bad thing."

"Then why do I feel guilty?" Kagami seethed. Luka felt her hand ball up into a fist under his. He began to softly stroke her hand with his thumb in an attempt to reveal the tension.

"Believe me, I know what you're feeling," he said softly.

"Do you?" she spat, causing Luka to stop his placating gesture and to grip her hand firmly in an attempt to ground her. This seemed to work.

"Sorry," she mumbled, lowering her head.

"It's okay," he used his other hand to raise her chin so he could meet her gaze. "Trust me, I do know," he spoke softly, cupping her face with his hand.

Kagami contemplated his words as she thought back to the conversation that started the whole thing.

It was earlier that Friday night that the band was playing at the bar so Kagami had tried to finish as much schoolwork as possible before heading out to catch them before they finished. Kagami never imagined that she would look forward to watching Luka and his band play in the campus bar, but it had quickly become a staple in her schedule, and always tried to make it, even if she arrived late, like that night. She had arrived at the bar just as they finished their last song, and decided to forego her usual gingerale, and had opted to wait by the entrance for Luka and Linda.

She wasn't there for long before she noticed a small commotion happening where the band was packing up. Curious, she had inched closer. It was then that she spotted the source of the conflict.

Linda was in a heated argument with a girl, who Kagami soon recognised as the one that Luka brushed off at the arts fest a few months ago. From what she could hear, a few choice words were being exchanged from both sides. It was at that point Luka had decided to step in.

"Hey, I don't appreciate you speaking to my friend like that," his voice was firm yet calm. "This misunderstanding is between us, so leave her out of it."

Hearing that, Kagami had wanted to applaud him. Even though she knew it took having a friend being involved in the drama for him to be more forceful, she was still proud of him.

"Ha! You say that but you're not really mad are you?" the girl had taunted. "What? Afraid a little butterfly man will turn you into a monster? I thought you ran away here to avoid that."

At that snarky comment, Luka's face fell and turned white; it was only later that Kagami found out that it was from rage. But she didn't even notice that, or Linda yelling that she had gone too far. it was like she heard a snapping noise in her head and that compelled her to march right up to the smug girl's face.

"Say that again," Kagami challenged coolly.

Debbie(?), had seemed startled by Kagami's sudden appearance. Nevertheless, she quicky recovered and rearranged her face into a sneer.

"Are you another refugee from Paris or something?" she had mocked.

Kagami knew better than to physically attack someone outside of self-defence, but it was times like this and people like her which tested her patience. Instead, she opted to use her tongue as the sword.

"I moved to Paris after akuma attacks started, and you think I'm running away now, after so many years of living with it?" Kagami tried as much as possible to suppress her already rising anger. It would be dangerous if she got too emotional. "But I don't expect someone as entitled, thoughtless and insipid as you to understand." And with that she purposely turned her back on the girl to help band finish packing up.

Luka and Linda had followed suit effectively ignoring the girl as she sputtered more nonsense toward them. After they left the bar, Linda soon parted to head off campus to her apartment, but not before grabbing the two of them into a bear hug.

"I'm sorry you had to hear those things from her," she had said. "And I guess I didn't help by losing my cool so easily. I should learn how to better control my emotions like you two."

Even though she didn't intend it, Linda's words haunted Luka and Kagami. Only belatedly did they realise that they had instinctively tried to shovel their emotions down for fear of akumitisation. It was a depressing thought, that they couldn't allow themselves to feel what every human being normally feels, without the fear that they would be made vulnerable to the whims of a madman.

So, taking shelter from the cold in a campus café, Luka and Kagami were stewing in their thoughts.

Another thing was the guilt they both felt about not being there to aid in the fight against this terror. If they were normal civilians, as Kagami thought of Luka, it would be natural for them to feel some measure of guilt for not being present to share in the sufferings as their fellow Parisians, as ridiculous as that sounds. But as a superhero, she couldn't help but feeling that they she had left Ladybug hanging by leaving; even though she had been assured that that wasn't the case.

This guilt was compounded in Luka. Even after he had gotten over Marinette romantically, she always had a special place in his heart, and he felt that it was his responsibility to look after her, in and out of the mask. But, it was she who had encouraged him to go broad and pursue his dreams. And after a while, he realised that he didn't regret his decision. Now, as Kagami sat before him, with her warm cheek in his cold hand, he truly didn't regret his decision.

"You need to trust that Paris will be fine without us," he gave her cheek a soft pinch before letting it go. "She'll still be standing by the time we return."

Kagami hummed in response before finally taking a sip of her hot chocolate. Looking back up, she saw Luka smiling at her in amusement.

"What is it?" she asked, oblivious to the whipped cream that was on her face.

Luka gestured to her to come closer, and as Kagami leaned in, he also brought his head closer to hers. For a brief moment, he forgot his original intention of wiping the cream off her face as her lips came in view. At first, he didn't notice the music in his head until it built into a clashing crescendo, almost startling him. Yet, he remained mesmerised as he was about to lean in closer…

"I think this is the café they went to." Miraculously, he was able to hear Erin's voice in the background as she and Hayate entered the café. Using the distraction to cover his (almost) blunder he quickly swiped the cream off of Kagami's face.

"Oh, thanks." She seemed confused and a little embarrassed that she had something on her face, but she hadn't noticed what Luka was about to do before.

But Hayate did.

As he and Erin made their way to where Luka and Kagami were seated, he kept giving Luka not so subtle glances. He and Erin had been studying together at the library then planned to meet up with the two at the café. Unfortunately, Hayate sensed that they came at an awkward time but was too late to stop Erin from entering the café. However, based on what he observed, it seemed like a good thing they interrupted. He made this clear to Luka once they were in their dorm.

"You tell me you had a new song to write," he started.

"I know," Luka sheepishly responded.

"You say it's been on your mind for a while."

"I know…,"

"I say, 'Great! Just make sure to take things slow.'"

"I know."

"You proceed to not listen to me."

"…"

"I mean, when does anybody ever listen to Hayate – "

"Okay, I get it," Luka sighed. "I almost messed up back there."

"This is why I stopped getting involved in these things," Hayate mumbled to himself before flopping down on the couch.

"Look, I was just going to wipe the whipped cream from her face, but I got caught up in the moment," Luka tried to explain.

"Watching over you two is going to give me high blood pressure," Hayate complained.

"At least you don't have to deal with a love square," Luka remarked offhandedly as sank into one of the chairs.

This caused Hayate's ears to perk up. Propping himself up on one elbow he pressed for more info.

"A love square? Do tell."