I feel like I'm updating for no one. -_-

Oh, how I love my random mind.

Summary: In which there is a shirt, which should not be worn out in public – especially not on a male named Allen.

Summary: T

Fanfic #5

The Homosexual

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"… Are you serious?"

"What? There's nothing wrong with it!"

"You have your own name on a fucking necklace."

"And…?"

"That's so gay. Are you a girl or something? Come to think of it, you kind of look like one."

"Shut up, BaKanda, you look like more of a girl than I do!" There was a pause and silence stretched between the two arguing teenagers. "Which… is not a lot because I don't look like a girl…"

Kanda just raised an eyebrow and grunted, standing back to watch as Allen fingered through a section of shirts hanging off of a rack. Allen's eyes lit up and he pulled out a shirt, holding it up to his chest and turning to face Kanda.

"Doesn't this look nice?" The British boy questioned cheerfully with a smile.

Kanda closed his cobalt eyes and held two fingers to his temple. "Yeah, you're definitely gay."

Allen scoffed and quickly flipped Kanda the finger. "And you're definitely a jerk." He pulled the shirt away from his body and turned it around so he could take a closer look at it. "It's not that bad, is it? I like it…" Allen shrugged. "Sorry my closet doesn't consist of only band shirts and black."

Kanda crossed his arms and simply said, "You know that's a girl's shirt, right, beansprout?" As Allen's face paled, Kanda's scowl lifted into a smirk. The younger of the two fumbled with the hanger and quickly shoved the shirt back onto the clothes rack. "O-of course I did! Stupid Kanda!" By Allen's suddenly-reddening face, it was clearly obvious that he had had no idea. "I mean… Why would they put a skull on a girl's shirt anyway?"

Kanda took three long strides forward until he was face-to-face with Allen, and he pulled the shirt off of the rack again and shoved it to the British boy. "Quit stuttering, dumbass." He smirked knowingly. "The skull is pink."

Allen was stubbornly silent and averted his eyes to anywhere in the store that wasn't the article of clothing or Kanda. "I just thought it was an eccentric, colorful… boy's shirt," he mutter dejectedly, his whole face now beet red. "You're just saying that because your wardrobe contains… black… black… and uh, yeah, more black. You're all colorless." Allen made a vague gesture at Kanda, while trying – and failing – at defending his situation.

Kanda said nothing, but he wiggled the shirt and his smirk grew increasingly wider.

"You know what? Fuck you. Just… fuck you."

"No thanks, gay boy."

"I hate you."

"Glad the feeling is mutual. I don't really like you either. You're annoying."

And so, Allen and Kanda were promptly kicked out of the store moments later – along with Allen having to pay for a certain torn girl's shirt.

Allen stood in front of the mirror with a scowl, trying as hard as he could to pull the shirt lower over his stomach. "This is all your fault," he muttered, throwing a glare over his shoulder at Kanda who watched with the biggest shit-eating grin Allen had ever seen. "I wish I could punch you."

"And why can't you?" Kanda crossed his arms in wait of an answer that he pretty much already knew.

Silver eyes narrowed. "Because you'll kick my ass," he admitted in a hiss. Sometimes he wondered why the hell he ever decided to hang out with Kanda, because – believe it or not – he really wasn't that great of a friend. "Let's just get this over with…"

The duo walked out of the tiny apartment and into the bright sunlight of spring, and immediately captured everyone's attention. Allen kept his gaze trained on the ground, but he said loud enough for only Kanda to hear, "I hope they think you're gay, too."

The Japanese only snorted. "Even if they do they won't think I'm as gay as you are. I'm not the one wearing a cropped girl's top."

"You suck so bad." Allen sighed and trudged behind Kanda. "I'm only wearing it because I had to freaking pay for it. You were the one who ripped it…"

"Oh, beansprout," Kanda chided with sarcastic glee, "quit making up stupid excuses and just act like the little gay boy you are."

"I'm just going to pretend the meaning of 'gay' to you is 'happy', because in that case, yes, I am a very gay boy. But not at the moment."

They continued walking, Allen silent in aggravation and Kanda in smugness. Every few seconds the short British teenager would try to pull the stupid pink skull shirt down, but it would keep riding up. "This should be illegal," he said under his breath and attempted to make himself even shorter.

"Oh my god, beansprout-chan! Yuu-chan!" And then both males were groaning in annoyance as a loud, eccentric redhead popped up in front of them. "Where are you guys goin'?" He questioned suddenly, giving each of them a blindingly bright grin.

Kanda's eyes narrowed and he muttered, "It's none of your business, stupid rabbit. Why do you always come out of fucking no where?" Allen just lifted a hand to his forehead, which also cause his shirt to hike up just below his nipples.

Just as Allen said, "We're going to a restaurant…" was when Lavi seemed to notice the younger's rather provocative outfit.

"Damn, Al, that's a little explicit for a restaurant." Before Allen could explain, Lavi continued. "I rather like it."

Allen's silver eyes widened and he blushed, looking over to Kanda who looked about as shocked as was possible, considering it was in fact Kanda. There was absolute silence, and Lavi raised his eyebrows and looked between the two.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kanda question incredulously, taking a few obvious steps away from Lavi. "That's fucking gross. Especially since it's the beansprout."

"H-hey!" Allen interjected heatedly, but he really didn't care because he knew Kanda was an asshole. He then shifted his attention back to Lavi. "Are you being serious?"

Lavi just shrugged. "Yeah, I guess… why?"

"You've got to be shitting me." Kanda glanced at the poor beansprout who was now the center of attention.

Allen gaped for a moment, and then blinked his eyes and shook his head. "You're crazy." He looked down at his shirt and tugged at it. "This is a shirt that Kanda ripped and made me pay for, and now he's making me wear it or else he'll never buy me food again. Ever. So I have to wear it." Allen's eyebrows furrowed as he kept his gaze locked on the shirt. "It makes me look so… gay."

Lavi burst into laughter, and Allen frowned while Kanda just rolled his eyes and glared. Lavi gripped his stomach tightly and wheezed, taking a few minutes to try and regain his breath before he spoke. "That… is hilarious…" He started with a few more chuckles before wiping a small tear from the corner of his eye.

Allen just leaned back on his heels, crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. He didn't see why Lavi thought this was so funny, but it was kind of pissing him off. Here he was, suffering for the sake of his lovely food, and Lavi was laughing at him!

Lavi finally stopped his laughter, and grinned at Allen good-naturedly. "At least you would be a cute gay guy."

"You're not helping," Allen said, deadpan, to which Lavi replied with a harmless shrug and a bigger grin.

"I'm surrounded by annoying faggots…" Kanda muttered with a sigh.

They all continued on to lunch, and eventually the incident was some-what forgotten – or, more likely, pushed out of Kanda and Allen's minds because of trauma. Or something.

That is, until two weeks later, Lavi asked to borrow the shirt.

Crap ending 'cause I couldn't think of anything. Review and I'll love you and update sooner.