"You make me feel something I absolutely cannot feel."

OOO

Harry heard a light rap on the door and he looked up from feeding his owl, a Tawny named Archimedes, slightly surprised. Most people did not call this time of the day, and friends told him ahead of time when they were visiting. The number of visitors had dropped slightly since the wedding, since he and Ginny were technically honeymooning, although both of their jobs prevented a real honeymoon. They'd both agreed they could take a vacation later in the year, for a few weeks maybe, during Ginny's off season.

He was a little worried about Ginny, actually, though he'd never talk about it to anyone. Ever since the wedding she'd been a little distant, though maybe he was just imagining it. She was working very hard at training, and this made her hours long. Or was it always a little different after marriage? Maybe this was normal.

He pushed away those thoughts and went to answer the door. He was delighted to find Hermione standing there on his porch, looking shy and happy to see him.

Harry quickly embraced her in a short hug and pulled her inside.

"Cup of tea?" he asked heading into the kitchen.

"You really have grown up if you're making tea now Harry. Or is this Ginny's influence I detect?" Hermione asked with a smile, coming inside, "But I would love one."

"Oh Ginny can barely cook and clean, I'm the one who takes care of things around here," Harry

said, "Remember the Dursley's? Except now I'm only slave to myself... how do houses get so messy so quickly?"

"Hm," Hermione agreed.

"So where have you been nosing around?" Harry inquired bringing over two steaming tea cups and setting them down on the living room table.

"Oh, visited Godric's Hollow again last week," Hermione said.

"Really?" Harry said his face lighting up. Hermione often wondered why he and Ginny weren't living there, quaint as this little neighborhood was, she'd always assumed that's where he at least would live.

"Yes," Hermione said with a smile, "And no old ladies turned into snakes this time. I'm doing a book on Grindelwald, and so I dug around to get access to both the Dumbledore's old house as well as Bathilda Bagshot's. Did you know that top window is still broken? No one's moved in there since she died..."

She and Ginny had been corresponding regularly and she realized that Ginny must not have been sharing Hermione's updates on her exploration of Godric's Hollow with Harry. It made her feel, secretive, as if she was going behind Harry's back. She shrugged off the feeling and started to sip at her tea. Despite this, she decided not to bring up the diary. She kind of wanted to keep it between her and Ginny, even if the contents that were shared did not have to stay secret.

"Yeah, being a Dark Wizard catcher just doesn't live up to that year we spent looking for Horcruxes," Harry said, his voice nostalgic though his smile was part grimace.

"Thank goodness," Hermione chided, "I should hope that your whole career goes without another Voldemort."

"Well, that's what I'm supposed to be preventing, now," Harry said, his smile true now, "Though I'm still technically in training."

"I thought you passed your test?" Hermione said, looking puzzled.

"Well yeah, but they keep a close eye on you and pair you with someone very experienced for the first year or two," Harry explained, "The unofficial term is tyro."

"And not even Harry Potter gets a free pass, hmm?" Hermione teased.

Harry looked awkward now, as he always did when people mentioned his fame, and just said, "You were there. You know it was mostly luck... what I'm doing now is real."

There was a muted bang and then the sound of the door opening as Ginny apparated onto the front porch and stepped into the house. Hermione glanced up in surprise, she'd assumed Ginny was already in bed, not still at work. A moment later the young woman appeared, her red hair wildly messy from flying.

"Oh!" she said, seeing Hermione as she set down her bag with all of her flying gear, "Hermione."

Hermione felt her breath catch for a moment, but then she swallowed and said, "Hello Ginny. How's Quidditch?"

As if Ginny hadn't just told her all about their last match against (team) It was if the journal entries never happened. This was the first they'd spoken face to face since the wedding. It was strange now to find herself looking Ginny in the eye (or rather looking up since somewhere around their sixth or seventh year Ginny had passed Hermione in height by an inch or two) and hearing the sound of her voice whilst communicating.

"Great," Ginny said, "Gwenog is pushing as hard as usual, we're hoping to make it to the Cup this season, but it's still early to get our hopes up."

She padded into the kitchen in her socks and poured herself a cup from the pot of tea Harry had made, dumping several large spoonfuls of sugar in, Hermione noted.

"Well, they're certainly training long enough hours," Harry commented lightly to Hermione, his eyes looking through the kitchen door to watch his wife. Hermione thought she caught a glimpse of worry, but the next moment it was gone.

"Just wait until the off season, Harry!" Ginny called over her shoulder, "Then you'll see TOO much of me!"

"I could never get enough of you," Harry retorted with a grin.

Hermione watched the interplay between husband and wife with slight curiosity. Was this what being married was like? This casual teasing, ease of being around each other? She and Ron had had that. But for them, it hadn't been enough.

"Sorry Hermione, but I'm off to bed," Ginny said passing through the living room again as she carried her cup of tea upstairs.

"Not at all," Hermione replied though she suddenly wished Ginny would stay and chat a bit, while at the same time feeling a bit relieved to not have to put on an act. Odd that she was seeing Harry the most face-to-face but corresponding more with Ginny. Maybe that's why she wanted to keep it between the two of them, maybe they needed it, the way all girls need another girl in their lives to share with.

Hermione talked with Harry until they'd finished their tea, reminiscing about times at Hogwarts and she let Harry describe his reaction to being in Godric's Hollow for the first time even though she'd heard that from him many times already. It was good to cement certain stories for telling again and again. Then they said their goodbyes, and Hermione went outside to Apparate back to her apartment in Hogsmeade.

OOO

When Ginny stepped into the house to meet Hermione's eyes, it was the same as that moment they'd shared on her wedding day. She felt momentarily stunned, as if the real Hermione was so much more than her memories could conjure. Even after writing to her in the journal, hearing some of Hermione's more private thoughts, the real her was somehow electrifying in her solidity.

She felt her heart pick up speed as her mind scrambled to find words to say, what had they last talked about in the journal? All she could manage was an "Oh. Hermione." Hermione was more composed and started with the normal, "Hi, alright?"

This gave Ginny something to talk about, and she starting going on about Quidditch while escaping into the kitchen where luckily there was some tea sitting out. Then when Harry started teasing her it was easy to fall back into that pattern of banter with her spouse rather than think about the fact that Hermione was sitting in the dining room. As she stirred her tea, she couldn't help but yawn, and decided that exhaustion was a fair enough excuse for retiring early, as she had been often the last few weeks.

She took a sip as she headed up the stairs and frowned, how many spoonfuls of sugar had she put in it? She wrinkled her nose and decided it was too late. It would just have to be very sweet tea. She went upstairs and shed her Quidditch uniform before stepping over to the shower and turned the faucet up hot. Despite the summer weather, she always loved a good, hot shower when she got home.

After the shower she crawled into bed and an hour later she felt Harry climb into the bed with her. He put a cool hand around her, and she felt his breath on her neck. She remained still, pretending to already be asleep, not entirely sure why she did so. He kissed the back of her neck once, but it didn't make her shiver delightfully as it once had. Her thoughts were still too wrapped up over the brief encounter with Hermione earlier, as her mind replayed the scene over and over again. Her mind chiding itself for not saying something more empathetic or smart or interesting.
She wanted to write in the diary.

OOO

June 7, 2002

I miss you, I wish you weren't gone again already. I'm writing from a coffee shop- on my lunch break with the harpy gang. How long are you staying in Nurmengard? Have you found out anything interesting yet? I can't imagine spending two whole weeks in that awful place. I'd just spend the whole time wondering what that place would be like now if Dumbledore hadn't succeeded in stopping him!

You really ought to buy a camera so you can send me photos of your travels. And by that I meant: so you can document the research you're doing.
Do you wish that Voldemort hadn't killed him? Only five years ago, you would have had all the material you'd need for this story. I imagine the deathly hallows will play a large part in the story.

Anyway, I'm feeling overly stressed by Quidditch practice I think... my nerves have been on end these last few weeks. Maybe Harry and I should have ditched everyone and taken a real Honeymoon right away. I just feel exhausted from practice, and then I'm up all night tossing and turning. When you get back from your travels you should come and visit more often, I promise I'll try and be more friendly in person.

June 8, 2002

I'm coming back in a few days Ginny. You wouldn't believe the number of scrolls and documents they have of Grindelwald's here, not just the historical documents on Nurmengard but also his own personal writings from his imprisonment here. And drawings, he was actually quite the artist... I suppose a lot of prisoners pick up a hobby to fill the endless amount of time. Thankfully they've kept pretty good archives on their prisoners. That's all for now, take care, I will definitely visit more often, promise. And don't push yourself too hard- health is important too, not just Quidditch!

June 8, 2002

Sounds like a treasure for an academic nerd like you, Hermione! He wrote stuff while he was in prison? And Rita BitchLady Skeeter never got a hold of it? Haha, score one for the Granger! You had better visit more often, too, or I'll set my Harpies on you. And you need to write to me more! For a writer, you sure don't keep a prolific journal.

Of course, now I've dug myself into a hole to write more about me... so umm... I don't know why I need to write umm I could just think that instead of actually writing it and now I'm just rambling.. soooo... Training is getting pretty intense after we lost our match against an all guy team. Gwenog seems to think this is a personal slight against all women, everywhere. I think she might be gay... I mean she doesn't shave her legs. That means you're a lesbian, right? Haha, anyway... Exhaustion sets in.

Poor Harry... I guess I haven't had much time for him in between sleep and practice. Of course, he works pretty hard as an Apprentice Auror or whatever they call the Aurors who are still under the wing of another, experienced Auror. As if Harry need any more guidance on how to catch Dark Wizards, right? They should have made him an Auror without any training at all. Hell I could be an Auror- any of us at Hogwarts back then could do it- that was real world training, ladies!

Hmm, well now I'm blabbing about other stuff... I guess my life seems pretty boring when I compare it to yours, traveling all over the world doing research on interesting stuff, seeing things, meeting new people... and so I can't think of much to write about me. Well, there, I have a few paragraphs! So now you must feel obligated to write at least this much!

June 12, 2002

Sorry about the long wait, Ginny! I know, after you have berated me so for my brevity. Would you like to hear about Grindelwald? I think I will have to tell you anyway. He writes a startling lot about love... After Lord Voldemort... you know how Dumbeldore always said that he underestimated the power of love? It has kind of surprised me to find what I think are love poems. He must never have given them to his girl, or whoever it was, if he still had them. Or maybe the guards at Nurmengard never sent them. Either way, it provides support for my idea that Grindelwald wasn't all dark, like You-Know-Who, more of a normal man who got set on the wrong path, capable of love and normal human emotion. He isn't someone who would create a Horcrux or become bent on eternal life... In his own twisted way, maybe he really thought he was going to make the world a better part... How much do you know about Muggle Nazis?

Anyway, don't work too hard Ginn, save some energy for Harry! ;) Gwenog can't possibly have you training ALL DAY. And not all lesbians don't shave their legs. Not everyone is a walking stereotype. I mean sure, I suppose there are some lesbians out there who are total dykes but... I've yet to meet those ones. Anyway, stop peeping at people's legs!

June 13, 2002

I DO NOT PEEP HERMIONE GRANGER! You know that. Anyway, how many lesbians have you met? Haha, I have kissed a girl before- do you remember that kiss? (Back when you were still getting over Lockhart being insane (more haha) and *scribbles*. Um yeah. Nevermind that. Unless it isn't awkward to reminisce about Ron...? Erk. Awkwardness. Well... now I've said this much I might as well write out what I just attempted to remove. Before you and Ron had figured out you liked each other enough to fight about it... Anyway, I totally forgot about that until now. Is that weird? Ha- I wonder what Harry would think if he found out!

Anyways... trying not to train TOO hard although you need to check out my biceps when you come home, haha... Harry is quite enamored with my muscles, though he can't be too jealous with all his Auror training. Age has made him less of a stick and little more... lean and wiry like. Anyway, I'll spare you the details.

June 14th

You mean the, I want to kiss Harry but I don't know how to kiss, will you teach me, kiss that we shared?

You seemed to have forgotten that I'd never kissed anyone then either. Did I tell you I actually found books in the library with pointers? Victor was my first real snog, as painful as it is to admit. You also have some unclosed parentheses... I can't help but notice and want to edit.

I'm afraid I have a bit of a confession, you're not the only girl I've ever kissed. I know, I know... I see the shock on your face already, and I hope it's a friendly sort of surprise and not the angry kind... I hope we're close enough that you're understanding?

I guess I'd just better go on and give you the whole story. I didn't even realize what it was... Hmm, this is hard to start. I should practice writing my own stories more I suppose. She was... she was... hmm. She was beautiful. A muggle. Brilliant, in their world. Cutting edge research in theoretical physics. Things I hadn't thought about since I was in grade school. Gravity, you know? I was in Cape Town, taking a break from the anthropology, anyway, I ran into her at the university. I was trying to blend in as a muggle, you know! You'd think I'd be better at it- having been raised as one.

She took my breath away! I didn't know... I just thought she was amazing. She was so sure of herself as well, she had the professorial look going on, you know, glasses perched on the end of her nose- mixed with sexy. Not traditional sexy.. I suppose nerdy sexy... and don't laugh at me! Anyway, she was... well not obviously a lesbian but in hindsight there should have been clues. If you can believe it she made me waste THREE MONTHS of my book research to look into Wizarding Physics... you know, like how magic actually works. Maybe it's related to muggle physics? Anyway.

Anyway, we started going on lunch dates, talking about this and that. I was so awkward! It was like being twelve again! I blushed whenever I saw her unexpectedly, and I told myself it was just because I felt like I didn't deserve her attention because of her status... Dr. Jaya Rangarajan... (she's Indian) Overwhelmed by her amazing intellectuality but mixed with this brazen confidence... about everything! She didn't care what the administration thought about her! She didn't even pass all of her exams in graduate school, for getting her doctorate! But her thesis, her dissertation was so good she passed ANYWAY. Imagine! I mean, I suppose Harry and Ron didn't even TAKE their Newts and they're doing fine. But I'm off track again.

So I didn't realize that I only thought that she was so amazing because I had a HUGE LESBIAN CRUSH on her. I cannot believe I just wrote that. Also... is it bad of me to admit? Foreign accents are sexy... The way she said Hermione... Okay, wait take that back, I just remembered Victor saying my name... That must just have been her being sexy. I'll spare you the details.

But finally... I think she saw what I couldn't- saw through my awkward blushing and bumbling and made the first move where I couldn't. I remember when I found out that she identified as lesbian, when she mentioned a girlfriend... at my expression (I was so jealous and I didn't even know it), she quickly remedied to ex-girlfriend. That's one of the things that tipped me off. How glad I was that she was single... how sort of awkward excited... anyway.

She invited me on a real date: "Do you want to go out to dinner sometime?" She acted so shy when she asked I knew she didn't mean just as friends! Oh God, the mortification! But I said yes. I'm a little embarrassed to admit I promptly stayed up all night using the muggle equivalent of a library (its called Wikipedia) looking up what being a lesbian was until I was too tired to care.

We kissed on the roof of her house outside Cape Town, stars and palm trees and the cacophony of music and cars and the smells of the ocean and city smog, with the dark silhouette of the mountains...

So, you're not the only girl I've kissed, Ginny. And what I'm getting at is- well I'm usually one to always try and categorize everything neatly under labels, but I tried looking up all the possible labels like bisexual, pansexual... there are many terms. None of them seem to quite fit, like I'm putting myself into a box or something. It's like I think I'm attracted to people, regardless of gender, if that makes any sense.
So yes I've met a few lesbians, and yes, she did shave her legs.

June 20, 2002

Okay, so now I'm taking a long time to reply, but it's not from any sort of animosity! That's what made me finally write... had to let you know your... umm... sexuality... doesn't bother me. Or lack of labelness. Is that a word?

So life is boring as usual. Cool that you met someone cool in Africa! Are you still in touch with her?

Also your entries have been distracting me in a good way- and a bad way actually because I completely started spacing out during practice and completely messed up a new drill we were learning but that's irrelevant so...

This is why I haven't written. MY LIFE IS SO BORING, HERMIONE! You don't understand.

I think if Harry tells me again about that moment where he realized the Elder Wand was his and how he's going to write a whole book about Voldemort someday I'm going to scream! And he can't talk to me about his work because half of it is top secret and there's not a whole lot to say about my work except for me showing off my six pack which leads to other things that are NOT interesting conversation.. and I'll stop there.

When are you coming home?

June 20, 2002

I intend to knock upon your door in... twenty minutes.

A/N: Here you guys go! Please enjoy. And for all of you that have this on your story alerts, give us (Snowbear and I) some reviews, we would love some more feedback!