First quidditch match is Saturday August 30th! Ginny made a quick note in the journal.
I'll be there, she saw Hermione almost immediately write back.
A blot of ink appeared in the journal, as if Hermione was holding the quill above it, poised to write more. Ginny stared, fascinated, and sure enough, a minute later more words started scripting themselves across the paper.
Ginny... I think I should let you know that Harry is worried about you. I know you're working hard and don't have much time for home but... your marriage is more important than your job. Or your friends. Maybe you should try and take more time off from Quidditch? And as much as I love the daily updates and how much we've been writing to each other, maybe less writing to me and more talking with your husband?
Ginny's heart picked up as she read Hermione's words and a flush of shame spread across her body. What did Hermione think of her? And Harry had noticed?
Noticed what? Did Ginny even know what Hermione was talking about... Yes, there was no point in lying to herself. Not at this point..
At first you're standing on this precipice and you know once you step off there's no going back.
Hermione's words rang loudly in her ears, as if she had said them out loud while standing right before her.
Oh Merlin, it's you Hermione, Ginny thought fiercely, staring at Hermione's words with a wry sadness, It's you... It's not Quidditch.
She remembered Hermione's words, I don't know what you're talking about.
Immediately Ginny felt embarrassed at the memory, just because Hermione told her that she had been with one woman didn't mean Ginny could assume that the- chemistry- between the two of them was felt on both sides. I've never felt this way because of another woman, she thought, And of course when I fall for a woman that is interested in other woman she wouldn't be interested in me.
And Harry- Ginny couldn't think about Harry.
She let her quill hang poised above the parchment, aching to write something... but not knowing what to say and somehow certain that Hermione was waiting for an answer. She closed the journal and pulled herself out of bed. It was time to go to Quidditch practice- Harry had got up and left for the Ministry an hour ago.
OOO
"Hermione?" a voice asked and Hermione yelped and jumped up from her kitchen table, looking over to see Harry's head sticking out of her fireplace.
"Harry!" Hermione said with delight, once she got over her surprise. No one had flooed her in a long time. Not while she was abroad, and not yet while being back in the country.
"Hey, Ginny's not home yet and I'm feeling lonely," Harry said, tilting his head sideways in apology.
"Well get in here then before you get all sooty," Hermione said, "I'll put on some tea."
A moment later there was a flurry of ashes and Harry stepped out of the fireplace into Hermione's little Hogsmeade apartment.
"Nice view of the castle," Harry said approvingly as he looked at the window at Hogwarts rising solemnly on the hill above the little town.
"I know," Hermione said, feeling a little proud of her apartment, "And I get to watch the students visit on weekends. Makes me feel old."
"You don't get homesick, being so close but not being a part of it?" Harry asked looking nostalgic.
"Oh, no. It's more inspiring than anything," Hermione said, glancing out the window at the castle.
The apartment was all one room, sofa, stove and cupboards, little round table, bed, bookshelves and fireplace, up above the main street of shops. And as it had been when Ginny visited, it was covered in books. Every surface had a book or more on it, intermixed with parchment (some clean, some scribbled to near blackness) and quills.
"Where do you sleep?" Harry wondered looking at the pile of books dumped unceremoniously on the full size bed.
"I'm married to books," Hermione said with grin, "They share the bed with me."
Harry grinned, "Always the same, Hermione."
Hermione set a pot of water on the stove then pulled out a chair for Harry and sat back down at her typewriter, surrounded by her notes and Grindewald's.
"How far have you gotten?" Harry asked, peering over at the typewriter.
"About halfway," Hermione said proudly glancing at the stack of typed out sheets. Harry started picking through the notes, photos, and drawings.
"These are pretty neat," Harry said, "Lucky to get such great source files..."
"Yes," Hermione agreed resting an elbow on the table, feeling that it would be awkward to type with him watching her.
His expression faltered for a moment as he pulled a photo out of the stack, "Who's this?"
"Ah," Hermione paused, that would be Malfoy's fairly accurate guess right there, Hermione thought.
"Is this Professor Dumbledore?" Harry turned the photograph sideways, squinting, then suddenly pushed it away from his face as the mostly naked young man waved up at with a wink.
It was a classically posed photo, Professor Dumbledore (or Albus as Hermione thought of him in that photo) on his side almost nude with soft yellow sunlight trickling in through a window to give the white sheets a gentle glow. A corner of the sheet draped over his midsection, preventing the photo from being a complete nude. He didn't have a beard yet, and his hair was only down to his ears. His long nose wasn't broken so many times, but those twinkling blue eyes were certainly Dumbledore's. They were more full of mischief and excitement at this age than the wise gaze that she remembered him having as Headmaster.
"Erm, yes," Hermione said, "Grindelwald took it as far as I can tell. It seems that they were lovers of a sort."
"Er- of a sort?" Harry asked, his face turning into a frown, "But Grindelwald was a Dark Wizard!"
At least that's his biggest problem with their relationship, Hermione thought, then said, "Well everyone knows they were close when they were younger, not everything Rita Skeeter wrote was complete bullshit!"
"I guess Rita missed a few things," Harry said, then ran a hand through his hair, "I can't imagine her leaving out something like this about Dumbledore."
Then he paused, thoughtful, and asked, "So they were both gay, Dumbledore was gay?"
"You don't have to label him," Hermione chided, "Especially since we can't ask Professor Dumbledore himself if he even labeled himself."
"Well, isn't this what this is? I mean how could you not label that?" Harry asked, Hermione could tell he was a little put-off by the idea.
"Well, I've been with a woman before, but I wouldn't call myself a lesbian," Hermione retorted, maybe a little too sharply.
Harry's gaze picked up immediately from the photo to Hermione's face and he asked, "Before or after you left Ron?"
"After, Harry," Hermione told him, feeling immediately hurt, "Of course after. I never cheated on him and don't you dare imply it!"
Harry looked down at table avoiding the pain in her eyes, "Sorry 'mione, I just..."
"Leapt to conclusions," she finished for him with a sigh, "Yes, I suppose that is understandable. And I suppose I deserve it for springing that on you."
Harry didn't reply- a measure of his maturity. He just nodded and adjusted his glasses while staring at the table. Hermione let him be silent, let him absorb for a little while. To fill the silence she stood up and went to check the tea kettle which was still a few minutes away from boiling. When she sat back down Harry set the photo down away from himself and pulled out a chair, letting himself relax.
"So, erm," Harry began a few minutes later, "When you're done with this book, I was thinking I might start my book, you know."
"Oh brilliant, yes, have you made a layout yet?" Hermione asked and Harry's face immediately reverted back to the I've asked Hermione for help to write an essay/study for a test but now I almost wish I hadn't because now I'm going to have to put in a lot more work.
"Nevermind, we can get to that," she revised quickly with a smile, "But start thinking about what you want in it- jot down notes if you think of something, that sort of thing. I'll probably be working on this for much the year. I was also thinking of writing a modern history book of Hogwarts, or revised, or something, with all the new information that surfaced in our seven years about the founders and the schools..."
"Hm, I keep expecting you to write more books about magical creatures' rights, but you keep surprising me," Harry said with an approving grin, fiddling with his glasses as he talked.
"It's impossible to focus on something for more than a book at a time," Hermione explained, "I'll get back to it, but once I finish a book I've usually burnt out a topic for a bit. At least, that's been the pattern so far."
There was a whistle from the stove and Hermione jumped up, having forgotten about the tea. She hurried over to the pot and removed it from the fire and poured the hot water into two . cups. Procuring two teabags, she plopped them into the cups, then carried them over to the table, shoving aside papers and old ink pots to make room to set them down.
"So how's the married life going for you?" Hermione asked as the two of them sipped quietly at their cups.
"Not too much different from unmarried life honestly," Harry admitted, "Gin's my best friend. But in some ways, when you're living with someone you don't get that joy of visiting someone you care about, and since we see each other every day we don't often make a point to spend time together outside of the house..."
Hermione thought back again to Ginny's confession in the tool shed. Was Ginny truly attracted to her, or just the idea of it- the idea of being free of marriage, free to travel, free to leave everything just as Hermione had?
"Especially since you both lead such busy lives," Hermione told him pursing her lips, feeling achingly sad for their carefree Hogwarts days. Then she mentally berated herself; they'd never been carefree in Hogwarts.
"Yes," Harry said vaguely. Hermione felt a surge of guilt- should she tell Harry about the journal?
"She's been distant towards you?" Hermione asked, knowing the answer.
Harry shrugged, "It's just different. Ever since our wedding days, things have just felt different."
"I think," Hermione started, "I think it might be me."
Harry looked up to meet her eyes, questioning, furrowing his eyebrows.
"The rift, in your relationship," Hermione explained, "I think maybe I'm distracting her, or something. We've been talking a lot and-"
"What? When do you see her?" Harry asked, Hermione could tell the unstable stress he was feeling starting to project itself as anger.
"I don't, only once or twice when you weren't there!" Hermione tried to defend herself.
"You're not-, she's not-" Harry stumbled over his words.
"No Harry!" Hermione shot back, knowing what he was trying to ask and feeling herself getting angry back at him. Wasn't this partially his fault, for not opening himself up to Ginny, for talking to her about all this? Was he still trying to protect her and hold her back as he'd done when they'd skipped their final year of Hogwarts to chase down Voldemort?
"You're not going behind my back?" Harry asked then shook his head, "No, of course you wouldn't. So there's nothing more than friendship between you two?"
Hermione opened her mouth but couldn't let herself lie to him, to agree to that statement wouldn't be the truth.
"Harry, I don't know exactly what's going through Ginny's mind, but maybe you should talk to her," Hermione said, collapsing back into her chair, trying not to look at him pityingly. Here she was, ripping apart all the relationships they'd held dear. First she left Ron and now she was stealing Ginny away. She should move away again, and stay away. Maybe Australia this time. Harry buried his face in his hand.
"I tried to talk to Ron but he didn't really have anything to say either," Harry mumbled, "We're both just busy, that's all..."
"Harry..." Hermione whispered.
"Don't say my name like that," Harry said fiercely, "Don't sound like you pity me, like you understand what's going on."
"Sorry," Hermione said softly then stood up and hugged him.
"Saving the world, no problem," he muttered, "Relationships, trying to hold on to the people you hold dear..."
Hermione ran a hand over his hair gently as she held him tight.
"Maybe we should never have taken the chance of having something more with those who were already our good friends," Hermione mused, "but I don't think these friendships are lost forever. People become different as they grow and learn and mature. Who we were our first year at Hogwarts, those three children will never be back."
Harry was silent, finally he pulled away his face wet from tears.
"Thanks Hermione," he whispered, "I've missed you. It's been strange without you here. I think you being gone so long really threw us all off balance. And Ron, he's been doing really good Hermione, he's almost himself again. Seeing you with him, the three of us together, the four of us, it's been so good. But Gin'..."
"Talk to her Harry," Hermione said again, "Not me..."
OOO
Ginny, your marriage with Harry is falling apart and neither of you are talking about it. You need to work things out with him. Don't let things fall apart like I did with Ron. I'm leaving to Germany for a few months to finish my book on Grindelwald. Please don't write to me.
Ginny read the words and felt her stomach sinking. Hearing it from Hermione, made it that much more real. She couldn't just go on pretending that everything was fine, that she wasn't starting to fall for someone who wasn't her husband.
Oh Hermione, she thought, the only problem is that it's not something I can fix, because there isn't anything to be fixed. The only thing left for me to save is our friendship. Ever since my and Harry's wedding, ever since I caught your eyes for the first time in a year...
Ginny thought back to the very first kiss she and Hermione had shared, that time at Hogwarts so long ago. Ginny had never kissed anyone before and Hermione had, so clearly Hermione was the expert. Hermione kept urging her to just be herself and go out with other people but Ginny had only just been starting to get over her shyness and consider being interested in boys other than Harry.
"Tell me what's kissing like," Ginny had urged, sitting on Hermione's bed in the Gryffindor dormitory. It had only been the two of them, Hermione's dorm mates were all down in the Great Hall eating dinner.
"It's just kissing," Hermione had said dismissively, "It's not really a big deal."
"Well did you like kissing Krum?" Ginny inquired, "Was he any good at it?"
"I don't know, I suppose he was alright, I don't exactly have anyone else to compare to," Hermione said with a laugh.
Ginny had heaved a sigh, watching the older, and still taller at this point, girl. Her hair had been loose, bushing out around her shoulders, and she looked like she was pretending to be distracting, pretending to be busy with her homework.
Ginny smiled and tilted her head to the side, "Well why don't you kiss me then?"
Hermione had glanced up, startled, her face curious and questioning.
"That way my first kiss won't be some random boy that I'll end up going out with when I get bored of waiting for Harry and you'll have something to compare to! I can't help but think that kissing Krum must have been awful, and even I should be better than him!" Ginny explained her logic.
Hermione had snorted and then laughed and finally she met Ginny's eyes with a serious gaze.
"Alright," Hermione agreed when Ginny had remained silent, "Just because you're curious."
Ginny scooted closer and Hermione pushed her books away and leaned over to press her lips cautiously against the other other girl's. Ginny hadn't been anticipating anything special but she had been pleasantly surprised. She'd shut her eyes letting herself unexpectedly enjoy the quiet moment. Hermione's kissing could be described as curious, but also taken seriously. She didn't just give Ginny a quick peck on the lips to get it over with her but rather drew it out to give Ginny time to fully experience the moment. And then, Hermione had turned her head and looked back down at her homework.
"Well?" Ginny had asked, a little breathless.
"Mmm," Hermione said noncommittally.
"I think that was nice," Ginny admitted.
"Yes," Hermione had agreed, "I suppose that's why so many people do it."
"But compared to Viktor?" Ginny inquired, "I can't compare but I think that was the best first kiss I'll ever have."
Hermione laughed and glanced over at Ginny, her expression bemused, "Alright, I'll admit it, that was better than Viktor."
Ginny punched the air, "I knew it!"
And then the topic had turned back to school work and Hermione had helped Ginny with the rest of her Transfiguration homework while also managing to work on her own Charms paper at the same time.
Ginny started to write a reply to Hermione's response.
Hermione, please don't leave. Or at least if you do leave, promise you'll be back before the year is out. Mum was going to invite you to Christmas dinner, so you must be back for the Holidays at least. Promise me? And I promise to talk to Harry.
She didn't write that she wasn't promising to fix their marriage, wasn't promising that she was going to love Harry and be his wife for the rest of her life...
She shut the journal, Hermione had asked her not to write so she would leave it at that. But she knew she would miss Hermione's words.
A/N: Sorry this one is a little shorter. Hope you enjoy.