Author's Note: This is Pikecedes. Meaning: Puck and Mike and Mercedes. Yeah, soak that shit in. -DMH

"Let me buy you a drink, Mama."

"No, gorgeous, I'll buy you that drink."

Mercedes glanced up at her two would-be suitors from her spot at the bar and smiled warmly. They were cute. Sexy, she supposed; the taller of the pair had a long, fit body under those dapper clothes he wore and the other, who was sporting a Mohawk, clearly had a body built for sin under his own careless attire. She opened her mouth to reply, but (lucky for them) the bartender arrived just in time with her drinks. "How about you split the difference for these between the two of you," she chuckled as she wiggled the two gin and tonics in her hands.

Her smile wider than ever, she turned gracefully on her six-inch heel and practically floated back to the table where her besties, Tina and Kurt, waited. Tina clapped her hands together when Mercedes pushed a drink in her direction, but Kurt was too busy trying to look around her to accept his glass.

"Diva, what did you do? Those two guys look like they're going to kill each other."

With a confused frown, she turned to see what her friend was talking about and, sure enough, the two men – who she assumed were friends – were still at the bar, standing inches from one another's face, making everyone around them nervous and looking seconds from throwing down. That is, they did, until the bartender arrived with shots and, suddenly, there were all smiles and brotherly shoulder punches.

"Just two goofballs trying to hit on me, that's all," she giggled as she turned back to her friends.

"I dunno, 'Cedes," Tina replied as she glanced at the guys. "The Asian one is definitely a cutie."

"Don't even, Tina. That one's the most adamant about looking at Mercedes' most magnificent asset," he told her, causing her to erupt in laughter as Mercedes clapped her hands over her burning cheeks and quickly climbed into the booth next to Kurt. "I don't understand what the issue is, Mercedes. Didn't you wear that freakum dress to be looked at?"

She glanced down at her outfit: a blue and green color-blocked strapless number that had her tatas sitting up real pretty and her hips inviting whistles every which way they swung. She pursed her lips and gave a careless shrug that made Tina start to crack up again. "Whatever. Let's go dance!"

Her friends quickly tossed back their drinks and followed her to the dance floor where they danced as inappropriately as possible until Tina got yanked away by some guy and then Kurt got yanked away by some guys and, finally, two arms wrapped around Mercedes' hips and pulled her back. She turned with a laugh to see what lucky guy was going to have the pleasure of trying to keep up with her tonight and found herself staring up at the two goofballs from the bar.

"Wha –"

"We decided to share," the Mohawked one informed her with a sardonic twist of his lips that made her side-eye the hell out of him. Before she could respond, the other one brought one of her hands up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. She melted slightly after turning her gaze to him; those dark, glittering eyes of his were entrancing. "Will you dance with us?" he asked and she nodded slowly, causing his friend to snort, "Whatever, Mike."

Soon she was dancing between the pair – nothing too serious – with her back to Mike and her front to the other, whose name happened to be Puck. She smiled at him widely when he spoke the name in her ear; it fit him.

"You like Shakespeare, Mama?" Puck asked, suddenly making their good natured dancing a little more risqué by pulling her flush against him. She doubted he was going to start quoting The Bard, but Mike didn't even give him the chance to because he was pulling her out of Puck's arms and into his.

"You guys are too much," she said just before Puck pressed himself to her behind, sending her even closer to Mike (who didn't seem to mind).

"I shoulda been dancing on this side from the get-go!" He rolled his hips against her ass a few times then hid his face in her neck when the music suddenly changed from mindless pop to slow, winding beats. "Damn, Mama."

Her head seemed to automatically tip back onto his shoulder. When it fell back, Mike must have taken this as an invitation because his face was soon in the cradle of her neck not occupied by his friend. As if they had planned it, the men simultaneously began planting kisses on her skin. Puck was rather generous with his tongue while Mike was a man of words, telling her how pretty and gorgeous and perfect she was between each peck. Never once did either of them stop dancing against her. If anything, they moved closer, sandwiching her between them in the middle of the dance floor, in the middle of that crowded room where sex was as present in the air as the music was.

She found herself grateful for the sudden lighting change that occurred when the music slowed. Gone were the strobes and lasers – replaced with lazy beams of purple and blue that swung around the room slowly. She was so grateful for the dark even though she could still feel eyes on her, attracted to her moans and her whimpers. Then again, she was starting not to care because Puck was sucking on her earlobe and Mike was nibbling her collarbone and someone's hand was on her breast and another hand was sneaking under her dress and someone's knee was between her legs, rubbing against the useless shield of her panties and she wanted to get fucked. Fuck yeah, she wanted to get fucked!

Later, she would tell herself that she was not the one to drag all three of them through the crowd and into the ladies' room. Later, she would convince herself that the mischievous imp did it or the dapper gentleman in the suspenders guided her. Later, she would pretend that she hadn't shamelessly wiggled out of her panties as the boys – her boys – ushered everyone out of the room and shut the door. Later.

But now, Puck was kissing her. He tasted like whiskey. Mike tasted like rum. Both men agreed that she tasted like maraschino cherries, so she supposed they were somewhat like a cocktail. She tossed her head back and laughed drunkenly as the men crowded her against the row of sinks.

Mike was a biter – a character trait revealed when he pulled down the top of her dress and fixed his teeth to her bared nipple. She whined when his tongue came into play, absolutely sobbed when Puck's mouth latched onto her other breast.

Puck was wearing a ring – she could feel the cold metal of it pressing against her clit as his fingers sunk into her wetness.

Puck was rather generous with his tongue. This was proven when he lowered himself to a crouch before her and buried his face between her thighs.

Mike was a man of words, whispering dirty things into her ear, telling her that she was naughty because she liked it when he pinched her nipples hard.

She heard the knocks on the door, the real world trying break in and stop this frantic, outrageous heaven she was finding wedged between two hot mouths, but she only let out a breathy laugh and ordered someone to fuck her and fuck her now and fuck her now and hard. She was turned around, her hands were placed flat on a mirror and she was told to watch. So she did.

"So," she said afterwards as she leaned back on a sink and watched the two men catch their breath and gather themselves together. "My place or yours… or yours?"