"No and then he stopped me after class to talk to me." I said while clutching the blanket closer to my body.

"What did he have to say? I still can't believe that, that ass stole you're music and the song he sung. There must be something seriously wrong with him." Gaia said still contemplating the ordeal, she wasn't the only one who had no clue what was up.

"No so here's the big thing. So after class he stopped me and he said, 'hey I know you have to catch up with your friend, but sometime during this week off when you aren't spending it with her. Will you stop by my house we seriously need to talk about some things? I would like to know what I did to you to make you hate me so much.' And that's when you showed up and perfect timing by the way. Now I have no clue what's going to happen while you're gone."

"Just ignore him."

"But he's so persistent."

"Stop falling into his trap."

"I'm not."

"And you better not when I'm gone."

"I promise."

"What do you want to watch?" Giga asked while going over to the wall looking through the selection of movies.

"The Hangover!" I yelled wanting to watch a comedic movie rather than love story. I didn't want to deal with all of the love bull.

I stood up grabbing the steaming kettle from the stove pouring the water into the mugs. I brought the cup to Gaia and held mine with both hands letting the heat warm them instantly. I began sipping on the tea as we set on the bed and talked.

"I don't understand any of it." I said as Gaia took a gulp of her tea spitting it back in sticking her tongue out. "Hot?"

"Yeah, a little too hot."

"Ok Goldie locks." She giggled hitting me softly on the head.

"Yeah it's strange, but don't worry you'll be fine while I'm gone. You can probably stay here for the week. That way he won't know where to find you and you won't have to deal with you're parents. It's not like they ever care where you are anyway."

"I wished they did, though. You know it might be every kids dream to not have their parents care for them, but I just want them to so bad. I rather have them be the strictest parents ever rather than how they are. You know?"

"Yeah I understand you perfectly." She sat her cup on the night stand and flipped her back toward me. "Goodnight, Sloan."

"Night, Gaia, sleep well."

I held half of my body off of the bed as I reached for the book placed under our bed. I flipped it open picking up where I hand left off.

Lost in a dream. My pathetic hopeless dream.

November 30, 1817

The days grow longer; each one I spend with James seems to drag on forever. My heart aches for change. I can no longer live with the same day to day routine of a boring life.

I feel it slowly killing me. A painful, drug out death I would wish for no one to have it placed upon them.

December 5, 1817

The days grow colder such as my love for James. I don't feel any shame in what I did today. It made me feel real, alive.

Living.

I walked through the woods today finding a cottage, a secret place only I know about. My secluded place where he can't find me, where no one can unless I want them to.

I can't help but feel so free and I love every bit of it.

December 11, 1817

I ran into him today. I couldn't help but stay with him for the time that I did. I pulled him into the cottage and found out so much about him.

Miraculously the Indian boy speaks English and it's very clear also. I loved listing to him talk for hours.

He is the next chief of his tribe, such a big role for him to play. He feels pressured to lead his people, afraid he can't live up to his father's greatness. He is so fascinating, everything intrigues me about Kinowa.

He has this look in his eyes as he loves everything about me. Such adoration filled in his chocolate orbs.

Somehow I can't help but feel the same about him. I know now not to fight my feelings, for him. I know they're here and I must make them evident.

December 17, 1817

I walked through the woods again today hoping to find him. Instead I ran across something that shouldn't exist in this world.

A wolf.

This wolf wasn't like any wolf ever seen before. It was taller that a person on all fours. And its eyes were so human like, and now that I'm thinking about it they seem so much like Kinowa's. How could that even be possible? The beast with black fur just stood and stared at me and as peculiar as it is, the beast's eyes held the same adoration that Kinowa's do for me. The beast never harmed me at all.

Something is going on around La Push and I will figure it out.

I would've continued reading if it weren't for the fact of me falling asleep, the book falling to the ground with a thud.