He thought he had seen everything over the short years he had been apart of Shinra, that nothing could surprise him anymore. Having worked alongside Reno since his initiation into the Turks had pretty much made him immune to stupid and wacky stunts all around the company.

This though.. this took the cake.

He knew that Sephiroth loved his couch, the man when not on a mission or in the training rooms was constantly attached to that thing. He had to admit it was comfortable, but it wasn't that comfortable..

He should have been wary when Sephiroth started spending time with Reno down in the shop, it was never a good thing when those two started spending time together. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought of this.

Sitting in the passenger seat of presidents car, Tseng sighed softly leaning his head against the cool glass. That was the last time he was going out drinking with Reno on one of his nights; he had been hung over since he woke up at noon today and the headache was not getting any better.

Katana was driving and he noticed he was glancing back into the side mirror a lot. "What is it?" He managed to pull his head off the window and looked over seeing Katana once more looking out the window.

"Sir..you might want to look at this." Slightly worried on what he would see, Tseng leaned forward in his seat and tried to look out the driver side window without blocking Katana's view.

What he saw made him double take.

a very familiar oak coffee table was the first thing to appear in the window, on it was a small TV, a potted plant with what looked like turn signals in it, headlights attached to the front of the table and two sets of very familiar boots were kicked up onto it. a moment later Tseng felt like smashing his head into the dashboard as he watched a very familiar black leather couch DRIVE past them!

At, was that a pizza pan? wheel, dressed in his battle leathers was none other than Sephiroth, a pair of Reno's goggles covering his eyes.

Sitting next to him was Genesis who looked like he was having the time of his life and Angeal who looked like he didn't know what to make of this.

Katana was openly staring as was half the freeway as the couch sped past them. In the back of the car they heard young Rufus Shinra laughing his little ass off and Shinra himself sputtering as it seemed he had seen his three highest ranking SOLDIER driving around on a couch.

"Sephiroth..." Tseng groaned out laying his head on the dashboard and started to beat it into it.

Looking back up he was not surprised to see the couch being pulled to the side of the road a pair of flashing lights following behind them. "Katana.. pull in behind." Not even bothering to argue with his boss Katana pulled in behind the police car allowing Tseng the time to get out of the car. "Take the president home, i'll be with the three stooges." Shutting the door Tseng headed over towards where the officer was currently trying to question the three SOLDIER but was having a problem finding the words.

"They are breaking no rules officer, this is simply a test run for a new Shinra tactical vehicle." The officer and SOLDIER all turned hearing Tseng, two of which smiled while the other looked dumbfounded.

The officer though was smart enough to recognize a Turk and knew better than to say anything against him. "Of course, have a good day General, commanders...Commander." The officer beat a hasty retreat just to get away from the known assassin.

"Where did you come from Tseng?" Sephiroth asked looking back at him. Sighing Tseng resisted the urge to bop Sephiroth on the head; he was going to have more grey hair by the time he was thirty than the silverlett already did.

"You passed us taking the president home."

The three SOLDIER shared a nervous look and looked around trying to spy the presidents black Mercedes. "He's not here, Katana dropped me off to deal with you three."

"Then how are you getting back Commander?" Shrugging Tseng started to walk by them. "Walking never killed anyone." before he even got five feet away he felt a pair of familiar strong arms pick him up before depositing him on to a very familiar warm lap.

"Hello." Looking up he couldn't help but smile up at the Crimson Commander. "Hello beautiful." Genesis wrapped his arms around him keeping him on his lap as Sephiroth sat back down and shifted the couch into gear via a beer can and speed back off into traffic.

"Sephiroth...why?"

The silver demon next to him simply smirked and looked over slightly. "Best not to ask questions you don't want to know the answer to niisan."

Sighing the Turk slumped more into his lover's lap and shook his head. These boys were going to be the death of him

AN: pure crack brought on by the RP's Sephiroth who in the mini BS RP we do in chat is always either A) sitting on the couch or B) sleeping on it.. and i found a website with stupid street legal cars and there was actually a sofa car..thus..this crack bunny.