This was starting to get ridiculous, this was the third week in a row that he had come down to the Turk office and found it completely empty. Coffee mugs still sat on desk steaming, computers were still running with the current reports or intel they were working on, papers still littered the desk and the occasional PSP was still playing its music as what ever game or video the Turk was playing was on pause.

It was literally like they had vanished into thin air.

Heidegger knew that the Turks were good at vanishing into the shadows but this was ridiculous..

Clutching his mug of coffee he stormed out of the office, this needed to get fixed, what was the point of having Turks if they vanished constantly?

"Just disapear?" Veld raised a single dark brown brow, fighting desperately to keep a smirk off his lips as he sat alongside several Shinra executives at one of the many board meetings.

Heidegger was on the warpath at the moment, it would seem he had been trying to reach his Turks for the past few weeks and none of them were ever in the office. Oh he knew exactly where his men were going, and it was because of this that it was taking all his training to keep from laughing in the idiots face.

"We are very busy men Director, contrary to popular belief we do not sit in our offices playing games and tossing paper airplanes into Commander Tseng's coffee. Most of the Turks are around Shinra in various assignments; more than likely you are simply catch the office at a time where we are all out."

Scarlet was giggling behind her hand as she looked up at the furious Heidegger, it was common knowledge that most of the board staff thought Heidegger was a moron.

hearing a soft voice clearing his throat they looked over seeing Sephiroth watching them all from his spot at the end of the table. "Director Veld is correct, many Turks accompany my men on missions and the Turks are not like SOLDIER with extreme numbers."

Growling at the child General Heidegger sat down seeing he wasn't going to win this one. He would personally find out exactly what was going on with the Turks and he would show they were skipping out on their job.

He honestly didn't know why they even had the Turks, they were a liability, nothing more.

Sitting at the front desk in the Turk office Gun watched the monitors in the hallway, one advantage to being the only door at the end of hallway it was easy to see who was coming or going well before they ever got there.

seeing a familiar fat body moving from the elevator towards the hallway she turned. "Fat ass is coming!"

Ducking down she disappeared under her desk, pulling down a fake display of the underside of her desk.

The office behind her became a whirlwind of activity as every Turk dived for cover.

Reno grabbed hold of a cable above his desk hooking it onto another attached to his chair and gave a sharp tug causing the cable to pull him and the chair up into the ceiling tiles where he disappeared.

Rude picked up a fake computer monitor and slid it over his head before sliding bellow his desk into a special slot the monitor sitting on the desk innocently.

Cissnei grabbed a frawn covered umbrella from a pot and opened it up bending her knees slightly looking like a plant.

Katana jumped into a small file cabinet pulling the lid down which had glued cups and papers on top of it.

Two gun who was standing up by a massive map of Midgar at the back of the room grabbed a section pulling it down revealing a hidden desk and hid under it.

In his Office Tseng dropped his PSP and turned in his computer chair so he was facing towards the wall and kicked off the chair gliding back into a large standing file cabinet, the doors closing automatically once he was inside.

Chuckling Veld disappeared into his own filing cabinet.

Moving into the Turk office Heidegger growled darkly, seeing once more, the office was completely deserted but hot coffee still sat in mugs and games were still running.

Turning he left slamming the door shut behind him.

peeking out from her spot at the front desk Gun waited a moment before looking up at the monitor seeing the fat bastard moving into the elevator. She waited a moment to make sure he didn't turn around before climbing back into her chair straightening her jacket. "All clear guys."

Pulling himself from a filing cabinet he had been shoved into Sephiroth smirked. "So that is how you guys do it.. I need to remember that"

AN: Blame TurkLeader on Tumbler.. he posted a bunch of Gifs of people doing exactly this and said "and you wonder why you can't find any Turks" so i just had to.

so Review people. oh and those of you that read my other fanfics, i am working on them.. but with all this BS with i'm being more cautious about what i write and i'm kind of iffy about submitting since i don't want to just lose them.