Hahaha, it's been a busy day. Final chapter! Neither Shun nor I own Naruto or Pani Poni Dash.

I had Izumo1489 look over the chapter, but he was a bit less than helpful on this story. Except for the last part. In response, I told him that Sakura may be a cow in disguise.

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Chapter 5: Final Naruto

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After hauling the blond boy up and irritatedly asking him where his parents were, she was faced with a pitiful tale of him being an orphan yada yada.

And that was how Naruto came to live in Rebecca Miyamoto's house.

It was the worst thing to ever happen to him.

Empty tin cans, vegetables, raw eggs, rotten tomatoes, lawn chairs, bar stools, cows, sheeps, and UFOs flew around the kitchen as the two argued over whose fault it was that they were late. Not mentioned was that they were also fighting to see who was going to clean up this mess afterwards.

Despite the noise, the neighbors had stopped banging on the door long ago. They gave up after being coated with green slime and ham for the fourth time in three weeks.

On this day, Naruto was in a bad position on the battlefield.

Crouched behind the overturned kitchen table, he found that he was running out of things to throw. Edging out from the cover of the round table, he snatched a large radish that was lying on the ground. He hurled it back at the house's owner with really bad aim, incidentally striking a platypus in midair.

The odd mammal's course immediately changed from "not going to hit unless you stupidly jump into it" to "duck now if you want to live." Which he did. The platypus barely missed him before it smashed through a window behind him.

This was it, he was out of ammo except for...he turned stared at the bovine standing next to him. It returned his look with a blank stare of its own. He turned back and waited for Becky-chan's next move. It was tempting, but Becky-chan was using the refrigerator door for protection, and it had somehow stopped the other cows.

And then she stood up and shut the refrigerator door. He gave a loud cheer as he prepared to pull the lever and launch the mooing creature. And that's when he saw it. A food container! In her hands! His heart leapt to his throat as he slowly ducked down and covered his head.

Soon after, he was begging for mercy and forgiveness as a hail of green peas pelted his fortress.

The cow bunkered next to him mooed loudly before its tail whipped and struck an imaginary fly.

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There was one good thing from living with Becky-chan though.

Without provocation, Naruto turned and casually flipped Sasuke the bird before he returned his attention to the blackboard. The entire class didn't notice, they were too busy laughing and turning their nose up at him. And then..except for the blond boy in front of the chalkboard, everyone turned white when a badly written correct answer boldly stood out at them.

However, the academy student in the front wasn't finished. He continued to write, and soon the class saw a ninja math problem that caused half of them to cover their eyes and shriek in horror.

Naruto took several minutes to think before he finally wrote down the answer to this new problem. He stood back with a satisfied grin. Becky-chan's brain teaser wasn't so bad after all.

"Noooooo!" Sakura suddenly screamed as she tossed a sheet of paper high into the air. Several angry lines on the sheet indicated that she had messed up somewhere.

The ease in which he solved it. She started to cry, she wasn't the smartest girl in the class anymore!

If it weren't for Inner Sakura pointing out that Naruto wasn't a girl. Outer Sakura would have quit the academy right then and there. Then Inner Sakura proceeded to suggest that Sasuke was as dumb as a brick compared to Naruto. Outer Sakura fully agreed, and she suddenly turned to stare at the blond in the front with hearts in her eyes. Finally! Someone she could have intelligent conversations with.

Man, some girls...

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Umm, truthfully, this isn't quite Rebecca. It has potential to be since I haven't used anything that's really contrary to her nature. But I've ignored the class that she's teaching, and the only source material I used is the first episode of Pani Poni and ADV's website. I suppose some of the gaps were filled in using Hinako from Ranma ½.

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Omake! Ichi!

C'mon! The entire story was an omake! Fine fine.

"So where did you guys come from?" Naruto asked the cows as they engaged in a friendly game of go fish.

"Moo moo moo!"

"Oh uh, sorry ladies." He sheepishly said as he pulled a card from a hoof. Looking at the new card, and the card in his hand, he immediately placed both on the table. "Looks like I win," he said with a grin.

"Mooooo!"

"I didn't cheat!" Naruto angrily defended.

In retrospect, he should have ran for it instead of defending himself, because he soon found himself tackled by several bovines.

Off to the side, a sheep snickered as it continued to tinker with the UFO.

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A/N: Mm...Hinata? She didn't like how rude he had become...shrug.