Disclaimer:
I own nothing created and or mentioned, by J.K. Rowling, in the books of Harry Potter. This story is a product intended for enjoyment not financial gain.
Rating: Mature
Sexual content, language content, and dark themes
It had been a long wait for the first doctor's appointment to roll around and Severus found himself anticipating it anxiously. The days he had spent at his house had gone from uncomfortable to agonizing ever since his mother had learnt of his fatherhood. In all matters of conversation she would plant snide comments to make Severus feel either guilty or inexplicably stupid, regarding his position. Things were graver still when his father was informed. As his mother took the whole concept as entirely negative his father's surprisingly positive attitude enraged him. Where his mother would utter malicious criticisms, his father would joke saying he was simply relieved Severus wasn't homosexual and some responsibility would do him well. Together they brought him to such heights of anger he was a constant mountain of rage, weathering in the peaks of disdain and frustration. . .
Severus looked about the waiting room of the maternity ward at Barnet General Hospital with eager eyes. It was definitely a rare experience for he hadn't been to a muggle hospital since he was five years old and had broken his arm from a nasty spill down the stairs of his home.
Severus' mother had been away leaving his father to rush him to the emergency room where they placed him under a heavy vest of metal and took pictures with a noisy machine that roared as if angry. To further the horrifying trip the doctors couldn't just fix his arm with a flick of their wand (as his mother did when she came home to find her son in a yellow cast from the shoulder down) they had to painfully crack his bones into place, the whole time fighting a squirming Severus. Nonetheless, the observational opportunity, of being within a muggle hospital, was a rarity and he found himself keen for the trip.
Lily flipped quietly through a mundane magazine about home improvement as she sat in between her mother and the father of her child. Rose was duly on the right, Severus to her left. The waiting room was small in size, holding only four other patients other than the unhappy trio and being three quarters full. The walls were a welcoming light pink, strategically painted to give one the sense of calm. However, the polka music playing on the speakers was making, at the very least, Severus scowl. The meagerly cushioned chairs dug into Lily's lumbar causing her more back pain than she was already in these past few weeks. Shifting uncomfortably Lily raised her head from the magazine to see a brunette woman staring at Severus shamelessly. Her expressions wasn't that of disgust, as the onlookers at Hogwarts were, but rather curious. Her eyes moving up and down his person.
"Must you always wear that thing?" Lily whispered, indicating his robes as she leaned close to his ear, him meeting her half way in a bend.
The hairs on the back of his neck stood as her breath caressed his ear, making him resist the urge to close his eyes in contentment. He looked down at his robes then back at her, a quizzical look on his face.
"And what would you have me wear, then?" He asked in a hushed voice, sounding mildly defensive.
"I don't know," she murmured back. "You would think you could make more of an effort to blend in with the muggles. You're attracting positively all the attention in this room."
"I don't wish to blend in with muggles," whispered Severus stubbornly.
"Must you always be so difficult?" Lily sighed, flipping the page of her magazine to the exciting world of bathroom repair.
"I'm being difficult?" He asked quietly, yet incredulously, attesting her as the difficult one. "Me?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" She challenged, her eye brows raising.
"Nothing, forget it," he said as he looked at his lap, picking something out of his fingernail.
"No, I won't forget it. How in the bloody hell was I being difficult?" She asked, her face more amused than anything.
"Must you always wear that, Severus?" He said, making his voice nagging and loftier. "Can't you make a better effort Severus? Why must you be so difficult, Severus?"
Lily snorted in laughter before letting herself chuckle lightly. She cleared her throat and looked at him with an expression of utmost seriousness.
"I don't sound like that," she said, in mock seriousness.
"Perhaps not to your own ears," said he, the faintest of smirks on his face.
"I don't sound like that to anyone's ears, you prat," replied Lily, nudging him playfully.
It was refreshing, to say the least, that Lily was joking again. It had been months since she had goofed around with him. Ever since the unforgivable word, mudblood, had slipped through his humiliated lips everything had turned upside down. From not speaking— no completely ignoring him, to only uttering words full of contempt and malice, this joking was zealously welcome and altogether withheld for too long. Even if they were arguing in their humor.
"So you claim," he said, exasperating the word 'you', indicating she was the only one who didn't hear her voice in the mocking manner he had previously provided.
"Listen you vulgar little—"
"Enough," Rose chimed, giving Lily such a look of irritation that she shut her mouth instantaneously.
"We were only joking, Mum," she said, giving her mother an apologetic smile. "No need to get all huffy."
"I'm sitting here, waiting with my pregnant sixteen year old daughter at the maternity clinic. All the while she sits and jokes about with the father of her baby, acting like this is some big laugh and I'm not supposed to be huffy?"
Lily dropped her head in shame, apologizing half heartily as Severus tried to hide his amusement.
Rose absolutely failed at being intimidating. She could do with taking a leaf from his own Mother's book. She would have really snapped at Lily and given her something to hang her head about.
"And what are you smirking about, young man? Do you find this amusing?" Rose scolded, leaning past Lily to stare Severus in the eye. He opened his mouth to answer when—
"Lily Evans," called a slender nurse with a fluffy blonde coiffure that looked more like poodle fur than actual hair. Lily stood up quickly, leading the way through the grey door that was held open by the nurse.
Rose glared at Severus from the moment Lily was weighed, had her temperature, and blood pressure taken, to having her height recorded. The vicious stare persisted longer still as Lily changed into a hospital gown, while they were lead down the hall into their new place of waiting: the doctor's exam room, and the door was closed in the nurse's wake.
Severus wished Rose would stop her ridiculous glowering for he found it more annoying then her intended purpose: to unnerve. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction of even looking in her direction. Instead he busied himself with examining the tools that were laid out on a blue-cloth covered table. He picked up an instrument that looked more like a fancy kitchen faucet handle than a device used for medicine. Muggle practitioners were odd, very odd indeed.
"Severus put that down. It's supposed to remain sterile," Rose snapped, crossing her arms, piercing him evermore intensely with her gaze.
"Then why is it not packaged?" He inquired, the tool still in his hand.
"Because they don't intend for intrusive teenage wizards to go poking about with them! Now set it down," she said. "Come sit here."
Severus placed the speculum down on the sheet and took the seat Rose had indicated right next to her.
Lily sat on the exam chair, her arms crossed, seemingly very put off and determined to ignore her mother's disdain and Severus' defiance.
There was a soft knock on the door followed by a timid-looking middle-aged man poking his head into the room. He said hello with a shaky voice as if he were going to burst into tears at any moment ( which incidentally coincided with his seemingly overly watering blue eyes). He wore the banal white lab coat over a brown suit that looked entirely too cheap for a doctor to be wearing.
"This must be, Lily," he said holding out his hand in order to shake Lily's. Lily tried giving him a smile but failed miserably for she was nervous and shaken. "I'm Dr. Doherty."
"Hello again, Mrs. Evans," Dr. Doherty said, turning to Rose and shaking her hand in turn before focussing his attention to Severus. "This must be the fath—"
"Severus," Snape said swiftly, cutting the doctor off as he gingerly shook his hand. He wasn't ready to be called a father just yet.
"How charming," the doctor said, smiling pleasantly. "Well, Miss Evans your chart tells me you're roughly four months into your pregnancy?" He asked sitting on the rolling stool in the middle of the room and scooting himself to Lily's left.
"Yeah just about," she said, placing her hands instinctively on her stomach.
"Is this your first child?" He asked, taking out a stethoscope from his coat pocket.
"Yeah," Lily said with a nervous chuckle, as if she couldn't believe he would assume otherwise.
"How have you been feeling as of late?" He questioned as he placed the diaphragm over her chest, listening to her heart.
"Um— fine," she said, looking down at the doctor as he moved his instrument from her chest to her abdomen. The room was silent as he listened to the infant's heart beat before bringing the stethoscope up and ringing it about his neck.
"No nausea or vomiting?" He asked as he snapped on a pair of rubber gloves.
"Well, there's some of that, but it's not as bad as it was in the beginning," said Lily.
"Do you feel fatigued at all?" He asked, running his hand on her lower jaw and on the sides of her neck before gently palpating her abdomen.
"Only at the end of the day when my back sort of aches."
"Well, that's altogether normal," he said as he moved the rolling stool to Lily's front. "I'll ask you to put your legs up here. I'm going to give you an internal exam."
Severus found himself not warming to this doctor at all as he Lifted up Lily's hospital gown and viewed her most intimate areas. He glared in the opposite direction as the tool he had previously held was inserted within, the other instruments duly used accordingly. Severus had his hands clasped tightly together, his jaw clenched firmly, until the pelvic exam had come to a long agonizing end.
"Everything looks good," the doctor stated peeling off his gloves and throwing them into the bin under the sink. He swiveled his chair over to the little desk and began scribbling on a note pad.
"Take this down to radiology so we can get a better picture as to whats going on in there. Make sure everything's going according to plan."
"Thank you," Rose said as she took the note from Dr. Doherty.
"Yeah, thanks," Lily said meekly, completely embarrassed by the whole ordeal. And she had to have one of these every month? Merlin!
"It's my pleasure," Dr. Doherty said which elicited a horrified look from Severus. Twas a bad choice of words.
"Do you have any questions for me as of now, Miss Evans?" The Doctor inquired.
"I don't think so," Lily said, looking over at her Mother as if confirming her response as appropriate.
"Are there any particular vitamins she should be taking?"
"Well, I'm not too partial to vitamin supplements when it comes to pregnant women. I feel all that good stuff should be taken in from natural sources, good ole' fashioned food. Some of the nutrients you might want to up the ante on are vitamin A which can be found in things like pumpkin, liver, eggs, spinach. Vitamin B: wheat, pasta, berries. Vitamins D and C: fish, citrus fruits, peppers, and nuts. Things like that. Lots of calcium, protein, and a heck of a lot of carbohydrates."
"Are there certain things she should be avoiding?" Mrs. Evans asked.
"Drugs and alcohol," Dr. Doherty replied, an amused expression on his face.
"Well, obviously," Mrs. Evans said with a small chuckle. "But food wise?"
"Yes, there are the obvious ones: raw fish, raw proteins, caffeine, things like that. Other more obscure kinds of foods are smoked seafood, deli meats and soft cheese. You might want to avoid those things. Primarily its the drugs and alcohol we want the mother's to stay away from."
"Did you hear all that, Lily?" Mrs. Evans asked, giving her daughter a stern look.
"Yeah, I got it," Lily responded, rather haughtily.
"Well, Lily," Dr. Doherty said as he stood from his chair. "If you have no more questions it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Mrs. Evans, always nice to see you. Take care young man," he said as he left the room with a snap of the door. . .
The walk to radiology brought them into the elevator and all the way to the basement of the hospital. This waiting room was larger than the last and for being in the depths of the building was surprisingly warm. The unhappy duo sat themselves in the middle row of seats, while Rose went and delivered Dr. Doherty's order. Then they waited, with much anticipation, for Lily's name to be called.
Severus watched Lily out of the corner of his eye as she rubbed her stomach absent-mindedly, wondering if she talked to the fetus within her. If she did talk to it what did she say? Did she utter words of kindness and love or of contempt? Condemning it for having a prat for a father? He wondered how she felt about it. Did she love it as any mother would love their first child or did she hate it already for it was half of himself? Was she frightened by it in her tender and young age or accepting?
He stared at the small round bulge and attempted, once again, to feel anything for the child. He had the instinctive urge to reach his hand out and place his palm on her stomach to have some kind of contact with his son or daughter. He didn't dare act on it. With much chagrin he realized that his feelings for the child remained dull. An empty bottle of what a father should feel for their child. He looked away from Lily, from the spawn within, hating his inability to feel any emotions for, not only his child but Lily's as well.
"Lily Evans," called a man in a white coat, holding a clip board, scanning the vast crowd of screaming children and sick seniors for any movement of a patient responding to the name.
He gave them a half hearted smile as they approached.
"I'm afraid only the father of the baby can accompany," the man said as Rose made to follow Lily and Severus through the door. Discrete triumph fell over Severus features as the door swung closed, leaving Rose in the waiting room, looking grim as ever.
The two were lead down the somewhat vacant hall and into a small dark room with a large monitor and an examination table.
"Well, Miss Evans, I'm Anthony. I'm going to be giving you an ultrasound today. It's completely painless and will allow us to view your baby on this screen here," he said, pointing to the large monitor.
"Okay," Lily replied as she settled herself on the table. Anthony pulled a pair of rubber gloves on and pulled a small bottle from a copious collection on a table to the right.
Anthony asked Lily to lift her shirt and told her the gel was cold as he squeezed a hefty amount from the bottle, creating a small hill on Lily's bulging stomach. He pulled out an instrument, that sort of resembled a mutated microphone, and began spreading the gel around her stomach before he turned on the monitor. A whooshing sound came from the speakers at once as the infant's heart beat filled the room.
Severus moved closer to the monitor, unable to believe what he was hearing; what he was seeing. The small lines on the screen (what the radiology technician said was a foot) made Severus feel nervous and somewhat elated. These emotions weren't love but they were right better than nothing. He looked over at Lily who had her head held up as she craned to see the baby, her eyes half full of tears.
"Look at that," Lily said, to no one in particular.
"If you see here, you can make out the face. These are the eyes. See here is the nose," he informed as he pointed to the body parts in turn. He moved the instrument to the left and furrowed his eye brows as the whooshing changed pitch. "Thats odd," he said moving the instrument about.
"What's odd?" Lily asked, her voice frightened as her pulse increased in flow.
Severus straightened from his bent position in front of the monitor and looked at the technician, his gaze scrutinizing.
"I'm hearing two heart beats. As well as. . ." he trailed off examining the monitor.
"Two?" Lily asked, looking at the monitor as if she could make out what the fuzzy lines meant.
"Are you expecting twins?" He asked, still staring at the monitor and fondling the mutated microphone.
"No, no we're not," Lily said, her voice bridging hysteria. Her eyes found Severus' as if begging him to make it not true. As if asking him to obliviate the technician which would somehow make the new information false.
"Are you quite sure there are two?" Severus asked.
"I've been doing this for a long time, Kiddo. I heard two heart beats and saw two fetuses in there," Anthony said, turning off the monitor and wiping the gel from Lily's stomach. "Despite you guy's obvious shock, the babies look fine. Aren't you two the lucky ones," he said sarcastically.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked, sitting up and jumping down from the table. Her face was showing every sign of her temper rising. Severus knew as well as his name that Lily hated being belittled.
"I just meant that two so young and obviously carele— twins aren't going to make this run any easier."
"Well, when we want your opinion we'll bloody well ask for it."
"I didn't mean any offense, I just happen to see a lot of young—"
"You happen to know nothing about us! I would thank you to just do your job and keep your mouth shut on matters you don't even understand!" Lily said, grabbing Severus' hand and hauling him from the room. She huffed down the hall, his hand still in hers. She seemed to be using it as a stress ball, manifested by Severus' finger tips slowly growing form dark red to light purple.
"Lily," Severus called as they approached the door to the waiting room.
"What?" She snapped, turning around to face him.
"My hand," he said as it was starting to feel numb.
"Oh," she said, letting go quickly as if she hadn't the faintest clue that she had been holding it. "Sorry," she muttered before she made to open the door to the waiting room.
Severus reached his hand over Lily's head and closed the door. He wanted to discuss this formidable twins business without the contemptuous opinions of Rose Evans. Learning the new horrific facts were enough. The last thing he needed was Mrs. Evans' inevitable dismay.
"What?" She asked, slight irritation in her voice that he realized she was trying to suppress.
"I want to talk about this," he said at once.
"What's to talk about, Sev? It's not as if talking about it going to change anything about having two. . ."
"There are still alternatives," Severus stated quietly. "We could give them up. There's plenty of time to pick suitable parents," he told her as softly as his demeanor allowed.
"Sev, I just . . . " She looked away from him, her eyes brimming with tears again. This whole pregnancy business made her cry at the drop of a hat. She found it cleansing yet hated it ardently.
"I just want you to be happy," he said awkwardly.
"You want me to be happy?" She asked, her tear laden eyes looking up at him with contempt. "And what about the babies? Do you give a damn about them being happy?"
"For the time being, not at all," he said truthfully. Lily scowled magnificently as she drew in a breath to speak.
"Okay, Severus, you want to know what will make me happy? I'll be happy knowing that the babies are going to have two parents that adore them and take care of them properly. I don't trust anyone else to do that except for me— well us. You might not put them first but I do. Don't you understand that?"
"I suppose," he said indifferently.
He could tell Lily already felt like a mother. This made him feel even more inadequate for the emotions of fatherhood continued to elude him. He merely felt like an unlucky teenage boy with the smallest of triumphs (having Lily tethered to him).
"It's going to be ridiculously tough, but I have faith in us. Even though no body else does," she said, her voice still affronted.
"You have faith in me?" He asked, his eyes seeking hers for some glimmer of truth.
She smiled patronizingly at him and brought her gaze to the floor as if saying, 'would you prefer a lie or the truth?'
"So, why subject your children to someone you don't even trust?" He asked, taking her silence as a no, unable to keep the venom out of his voice.
"I don't really have a choice do I?" She said honestly. "It's not like I can deny them their father."
"You used to trust me," he said, glaring at the wall beside her.
An awkward silence passed between the two as an orderly walked by, pushing an elderly man in a wheelchair.
"That was before you went and called me mudblood," she said with animosity as the orderly vanished from sight.
"When will you drop this wretched mudblood thing? I've apologized one hundred times over and you still continue to dangle it over my head," he spat angrily.
"Yeah— well— it hurt, Severus," she said, crossing her arms in front of her. "How would you like it if I called you a filthy half-blood?"
"It would be of no consequence to me for I am a filthy half-blood."
"Well, you might think yourself a filthy half-blood but I refuse to even entertain the thought that my blood is dirty because of who my parents are. Besides you did more than call me a name that day Severus. What you really said was you're beneath me. You're undeserving to practice magic and would be lucky if I allowed you to lick the bottom of my shoe. That's what you said to me when you called me mudblood."
"You're being melodramatic," were the winning words of choice that left Severus' mouth.
"You really don't think before you speak anymore do you?" She asked seething.
Severus remained silent as a great number of things ran through his mind. For one he didn't need this bullocks of being berated for something he did months ago on top of being a father of twins. He didn't need to torture himself about not feeling emotions for the children that Lily didn't even want to share with him. She obviously didn't want him to be apart of her new happy family so why should he stick around? Why should he cause himself such anguish? Even though Lily was batten to him through the lives of the babies he was starting to realize she would never really return the feelings he had for her.
"I guess not," he said as his voice went from angry to passive.
"Yeah—well— glad you recognize that," Lily said, fumbling at his extreme change in mood.
"We don't want to keep your mother waiting," he said, opening the door for her. She stood in the hall gaping at him for a moment until she bowed her head and briskly walked past him, arms crossed sternly. She ignored him the entire car ride home.
The rest of the summer groaned by slowly and Severus never received so much as an owl from Lily. If Lily didn't want to deprive the twins of their father, she had a funny way of showing it. It was beginning to look like he was cut out of the picture. If he wasn't present in the twin's lives he would loose Lily forever. Through thoughtful consideration, he decided he could not let that happen. He had lost her once and those were terrible times. He knew she was angry with him thus he figured he would wait for her to approach him when she wasn't so cross. He would fix everything when that time came.
As September 1st, the first day back to Hogwarts, drew nearer the more Lily wished her mother hadn't coerced her into returning to school. Rose had even gotten over her fear of Lily's pet owl, Julia, to send a letter to Professor McGonagall just to inform the head of house of Lily's situation and request accommodations be made. Professor McGonagall had assured Rose that the Hogwarts nurse was not only capable enough to keep up with the regular appointments Lily would need but also to deliver the twins. The arrangement had been secured in under two hours.
Another arrangement had been secured for after the babies were born. Professor McGonagall was sympathetic to Lily's dilemma, promising to have a special floo network put into place so that Lily could continue her lessons by day and then travel home to care for the children by evening.
When professor McGonagall inquired if the father would be needing the same arrangement Lily had told her she never mentioned the babies to him and she was on her own with it. Severus, that abominable wretch, hadn't even sent her an owl for the duration of the remaining summer. He hadn't written her to ask when the next appointment was and he didn't call to see how she was doing; how the babies were doing. It was as if he had fallen off the face of the Earth. It surprised her how much his absence actually bothered her, she was furious with him.
On September 1st, Lily found herself extremely nervous to return back to school for she hadn't told a single one of her friends about her tender condition. She was just going to show up four and half months pregnant. She shuddered to think what torment she would endure when they learned who the father was. Would she be shunned as Severus was? Stained by the walking stigma that he entailed? She carried his children. Would that make her less worthy of friendship in the eyes of her peers?
Severus stood on platform nine and three-quarters, wondering if Lily was even going to show up for Hogwarts. If he was pregnant you better believe he wouldn't show his face at school. The ridicule would be incredible. He walked vigorously down the length of the train and climbed on the step, holding onto the side bar as he scanned the ocean of students for that glimmer of ginger hair. His eyes didn't move fast enough before another student was clamoring up behind him.
He shoved his way down the aisle, aimlessly searching for Lily until the train began rolling away. Twenty minutes into the travels he spotted her in one of the last compartments, surrounded by her ridiculous Gryffindor posse. He opened the sliding door, standing awkwardly in the threshold, determined to ignore all but Lily.
"So, you decided to come did you?" He asked, looking straight into her almond eyes, his tone dark. The chatter of the four other girls diminished quickly as the atmosphere grew thick.
"Obviously," she said challengingly, her arms folding across her chest.
"Yes,— well I figured you would have stayed back," he said, glaring at the floor.
"Madame Pomfrey has sportingly agreed to continue with my examinations. Not that you'd want to be there for them."
"You—" he paused, looking bunglingly around at their small audience. "You've made arrangements?"
"Yes," she said, looking at him as if she wanted him to leave. "Professor McGonagall arranged Madame Pomfrey to take care of me and deliver the twins. She's also installed a floo from her office to my house so I can travel to class and back to take care of them when the time comes."
"Does this arrangement include me as well?" He asked slowly.
"No," she replied flippantly. "I told Professor McGonagall that the father wasn't interested."
"You decided this without consulting me?" He asked through partially clenched teeth.
"Again, Severus, obviously," she said apathetically.
"I thank you for including me in such important decisions," he said sardonically, unable to check the anger streaming in his voice.
"Well, you said you didn't care about the babies' at the hospital and then you didn't even write me for weeks. I figured you didn't want anything to do with us anymore," she said her frustration apparent.
Superb, she was referring to herself and the babies as 'us' now.
"Now you presume to tell me what I am and am not interested in? You just assume I don't want to be apart of the twin's lives?"
Lily's hard expression softened slightly.
"You've given me no reason to think otherwise. You didn't write," she said her gaze diverting away from him, looking slightly guilty. His expression, although angry, betrayed a hint of sorrow.
"No, I didn't. I suppose I have no one to blame but myself, then. I hope you and your children are extraordinarily happy together," he said before stepping out of the compartment and letting it slam shut in his wake.
"Shit," Lily said, covering her face with her hands. "I'm such a bitch."
"No, you're not, Lils," Emmaline Vance said, glaring at the spot where Severus had stood. "He's a right jerk. You should keep your kids away from that creep. I would," she added as the other girls nodded and spoke their words of agreement.
"Yeah," Lily said whimsically, looking out the window.
She felt awful. Nobody would have been able to detect Severus' sadness except for her, and it was all too apparent. His departing words swirled in her head as she realized she was being selfish. He might be a rude, abrasive, dark-arts-loving, little weirdo but he was her little weirdo. The father of her babies and her once best friend. He didn't deserve to have his opinions on the matter over looked. Even if he wasn't displaying any apparent interest. Knowing Severus, that didn't mean his interest wasn't there. These weren't her decisions to make alone and so far everything had been her way. She felt defiled for excluding him so and knew if their roles were reversed that she would cry herself to sleep every night. His calling her a mudblood be damned.
"I'll be right back," Lily said, standing while holding her bulging belly.
"No," Alice said, grabbing Lily by the wrist. "I forbid you to go after that slimy git. Don't deny it! We all know that's what you're going to do. He's made his choice about it, thats what you said before he came barging in here to argue with you. Don't let him change your mind. The babies are better off without, Snivellus."
"Excuse me but you really need to let go of my wrist, Alice—now! Before I really loose my temper," she threatened, staring daggers at her friend as Alice let go.
"Come on, Lely!" Marlenna McKinnon said exasperatedly, her thick Irish accent extraordinary prominent in her frustration. "He's in love with the dark arts, he's going to be a death 'ater. Ya said it yaself. All ya two do is argue since ya got pregnant so why make matters worse? Ya rid of him and everyone is better off that way."
"You did say that he was totally distant at the hospital and you just end up arguing every time you guys talk about it," Mary added, looking uncomfortable about ganging up on Lily.
"No offense guys but you've never been pregnant and don't know what its like. He's the father of my babies! How can I just close him out?"Lily argued, standing in the middle of the compartment as if an antelope surrounded by hungry lions.
"Ya were all ready ta do it not fifteen minutes ago, and now, after he comes in, being a bloody prat at best, ya've suddenly changed yer mind?" Marlenna asked incredulously.
"Well, I thought he didn't want to! He— he seemed like his feelings were hurt," Lily said, looking forlorn at the empty doorway. "What if he really does want to be apart of the twin's lives? I can't just pretend that he doesn't. They're his babies too."
"I think it's a big mistake, Lily," Alice said as Lily opened the compartment door.
"I don't really give a damn, Alice," Lily said, thinking she sounded a lot like Sev as she did.
She made her way down the aisle, looking into each compartment, looking for a glimpse of the greasy black hair. She was making her way, trying to ignore the many looks of disbelief that were aimed in her direction, as she sought out Severus. She was half way down the train when she heard someone call her name.
"Evans!"
She turned around to see James Potter looking down at her stomach, his mouth slightly agape, his eyes wide.
"What in the name of Merlin's beard happened?" He asked, pointing to her bulging stomach.
"I've learned how to keep my books in my womb for safe keeping. I'm pregnant James what do you think?" She asked, folding her arms in front of her.
"B-but you're— what?" He asked. For once James Potter was speechless.
Lily's eyes wandered to Sirius Black who was looking as dumbfounded as James did. Remus was trying a little too hard to be uninterested.
"I'm pregnant James. It's really not that unfathomable," she said cooly, trying to play it off as no big deal.
"W-who's? Who's baby is it?" He asked.
"I can't imagine why that's your business," she said as she turned to walk away.
"Evans," Potter yelped, grabbing her by the upper arm and spinning her around. "Who's the father? I'm just curious," he lied. He wanted to know who he had to hex.
"It's Severus," she said, secretly enjoying the confounded look on his face. "Now, if you'll excuse me I've got to go and find him."
She continued down the aisle pleased to hear James's exclamation of anger in her wake. A small smirk played on her lips for a moment's time until she finally spotted Severus in a compartment, surrounded by his gang of Death-Eater-wannabes. She opened the compartment door and was unnerved when everyone in the room glared at her.
"Severus," she said, leaning on the door frame. "We need to talk." It wasn't a request.
"About what Lily? I can't imagine what more we need to discuss since you seem to make all decisions on your own," he said stubbornly. Avery smiled wickedly at her.
"Can you not be difficult and just talk to me?" She asked crossing her arms.
"You're being plenty difficult so I don't see why you expect me to be otherwise."
"Severus!" she snapped sharply, sounding very much like Mrs. Snape.
"Lily," he responded calmly.
"Just—come on," she said.
"Shove off mudblood! He's obviously come to his senses and wants nothing to do with you," Mulciber commanded, standing up and facing Lily challengingly. "Take yourself and your filthy mudblood spawn and piss off," he added, grabbing Lily and trying to turn her around so he could boot her out.
"Don't touch me," she said, slapping his hands away. "Don't touch me," she said again as he came at her once more. She pushed him with all her might, causing him to fall and hit his head loudly on the wall. Every person in the compartment (Severus exempted) stood, pulling their wands out, pointing them at Lily's chest and head. Lily brandished her own, looking suddenly frightened, yet attempting intimidation.
"Okay, okay, okay," Severus said irritably, standing to his feet and pushing his friend's arms down as he made his way to Lily. "To avoid a blood bath I'll come speak with you," he said as he followed her out. . .
"What the fuck, Severus?" Lily asked once they were safe inside the single occupant bathroom once again. She sat on the toilet seat, her hands resting on her protruding stomach.
"I think that should be my line, Lily."
"Why are you friends with those monsters?" She asked as tears filled her eyes. He realized she was trembling and he felt a pang of sympathy. He was supposed to be angry with her dammit.
"You're shaking," he said simply, kneeling before her. He took her hands in his own trying to massage them comfortingly.
The tears were falling from her eyes, decorating their intertwined hands as she sniffed, trying to stay the blasted water from dropping. She had been so frightened that Severus was going to allow those barbarian friends of his to attack her. She wouldn't put it past him, in his anger, to sit back and watch as they sent every hex they knew in her direction, but he hadn't.
"Severus, I wanted to apologize," she choked through her tears.
Severus was completely surprised that this was what she wanted to tell him and it took him a moment before he was able to process a response.
"Oh? What ever for?" He asked quietly.
"Um— well I shouldn't have assumed you didn't want to be apart of all of this. You just seemed so, shall I say, nonchalant about it. I was convinced you didn't want to be around in the twin's lives. I'm still on the edge about it. . . Are you going to be there with us?"
Severus bit his lip as he saw a window for escape. This was it, he could simply say, 'no thank you' and continue on his way, as if this mess had never taken place. He looked up into Lily's eyes and knew that he couldn't do that to her, or the twins— or himself. He was not such a coward.
"Of course I am. . ."
Author's Note: This was a long one! Sorry to those of you who found it to be too much information for one chapter. Chapter six will be a couple thousand words shorter. I would also like to say thank you to the very few of you who have given me feedback. I appreciate it.