Disclaimer:
I own nothing created and or mentioned, by J.K. Rowling, in the books of Harry Potter. This story is a product intended for enjoyment not financial gain.

Rating: Mature
Sexual content, language content, and dark themes

Lily and Severus' relationship had finally started to come around as they made do with being civil to one another. They would argue less and less whilst spending more time focusing on the babies. Which were due in the span of two weeks. Over the past several weekends, traveling by floo powder, the soon-to-be-parents had constructed an ample nursery at Lily's house. It was by no means extraordinary, the image of two cribs inside of Lily's bedroom, directly parallel to her own bed. The necessities needed for child care found their way into their midst. Lily had been bombarded with gifts such as clothes, bottles, and diapers at her baby shower while Severus had acquired employment at the school, working in the library shelving books instead of free period. With everything going on, school, baby planning, work, and pregnancy, there was little time to spare on arguing. Oh, there were still plenty of topics they could fight about but Lily was tired of discussing the dark arts and Severus was sick of having to prove his dedication to the twins. Taking an unspoken vow, they avoided said matters at all costs. Unless it became absolutely prudent to converse about either one of them. . .

It was a cloudy gloom filled day on January 15th. The clouds hung in the sky, turning the blue horizon into a vast white oblivion. Fog clung to the castle walls, enveloping the grounds in it's mystic elegance. Snow began to fall at noon, creating swirling vortexes of gentle flakes, piling on top of the, already existing, mounds of snow. Severus spent the first half of this day locked up in the potions lab, concocting new varieties of elixirs.

He poured the honey-water into the cauldron before smiling wickedly and selecting a death cap for his next component. The properties of the honey water would counteract the taste of the death caps, leaving the drinker of his original poison oblivious. He put his gloves on and carefully cut the mushroom into four sections before throwing two into the pot.

The potion hissed softly as it turned from a light caramel color to a deep purple. He sniffed the steam bounding from the cauldron and almost had to stifle a cry as it burned his nose painfully. He coughed heartily, his throat lurching in agony as the smoke ripped through his body. The coughing subsided as he stood back, satisfied that his brew, with the smell alone, could cause his lungs to ache and his throat to sear. This one was definitely going into the prince's book.

He scribbled down his recipe, completely absorbed in his work, when the door burst open, startling Severus to the point of dropping his quill and almost pulling out his wand.

"Snivellus!" Marlenna Mckinnon blurted as she bounded through the door.

"I'll ask you not to call me that, McKinnon," he stated coldly, resuming his notes.

"What ever," she began awkwardly. "Lely's gone into labor," she informed him, crossing her arms. "Thought ya might want ta know."

A strong tremor of dread and excitement washed over Severus as his heart sank to his stomach. Although medically impossible he could have sworn, on his own life, that it had also stopped beating. The babies were coming? The nine months had gone by so fast. The creeping sensation of warm water being poured over his head enveloped him as a shudder trickled down his spine. How had the days flown by so rapidly? How was he was going to be a father—of two? He felt a little nauseous. This was all happening too quickly. In his apprehension he wished he could go back in time and never meet Lily at the lake that evening nine months ago. . .On second thought he wouldn't trade it for the world.

With his head feeling extremely light, and what he imagined was tranquil grace, he got off of his working stool. He swallowed hard, his adam's apple bobbing as he slipped the copy of Advanced Potion Making into his bag . Flinging it over his shoulder accordingly.

"How long ago?" He asked, putting the ingredients back into the cupboards.

"Maybe t'irty minutes ago now," stated Marlenna, standing in the doorway looking at Snape with utter disgust.

"Thank you for coming to tell me," he said, attempting to be civil as he walked out the door, Marlenna at his side. Lily was always bothering him about sharpening his social skills and being less rude to people (especially her friends).

"I only did it cause Lely asked me," she said, her eyes narrowed. "I would have thought it better if ya weren't told."

"Of course you would," Snape said indifferently as they both climbed the first set of stairs from the dungeons to the entrance hall.

"Ya better be good to them, Sni—Snape," she said, glowering down at him from up above. Snape wasn't a short boy but Marlenna was a very tall girl. Perhaps four inches taller than Severus himself. "Or ya'll have me ta answer to."

"Duly noted," he said, the smallest pangs of irritation mixing with the already brimming emotions of perfect fear and mild excitement.

"I mean it, Snape. Ya watch yourself," she warned as they climbed to the fourth floor.

Severus had to work hard to keep his face straight as she attempted to threaten him with her words. She obviously had no idea who she was talking to. It was common knowledge that Severus was a dark arts expert. He knew more curses than she would know in her entire lifetime (which wouldn't be long if she kept pestering him). Furthermore, he'd seen her in defense against the dark arts. So, he knew she wouldn't be able to defend herself properly if he saw fit to, shall way say, correct her behavior towards him.

"And as a matter of curiosity, Marlenna," Severus began. "What would you plan on doing to me that I should be so afraid of?"

Marlenna looked confounded, as if he had asked a seriously perplexing question, before she uttered the safety net of a phrase, 'I'll curse you into the middle of next year.'

"With what?" Severus barked patronizingly. "A babbling curse? Perhaps, if you're feeling more daring, a jelly legs jinx?"

"Try Entomorphis (the insect morphing curse)," she said, her eyes virtual slits, brimming with disdain. "Then I'll squash ya."

"I'm impressed you can even pronounce the name of that particular hex. Perhaps I've underestimated you, Marlenna," he commented sarcastically, a sneer on his lips as she muttered about him being Death Eater trash.

Severus walked through the hospital wing doors, his eyes finding Lily immediately. He was a little surprised to see how very calm she looked. He was under the impression labor was an agonizing event, filled with tears of pain, sweaty skin, loud primal noises, ice chips and death threats. Lily didn't seem to be experiencing any of those things. She wasn't screaming like women did on the television nor was she crying. She didn't even have a layer of sweat about her face. She looked, in lamest terms, completely comfortable with negative distress.

"Oh, good you found him," Lily said, smiling softly, her hands resting on her bulging abdomen.

"Yeah he was locked up in the potions lab, just like ya said," Marlenna said with a chuckle as if it was a humorous statement. Lily laughed delicately.

"Well, thanks Marley," said Lily, the hospital bed dipping as Severus sat at the end of it, placing his bag on the floor.

"Yeah no problem, Lels," said Marlenna, standing at the bed side. "Want me ta stay with ya?" She asked. As if Severus wasn't there to do just that. Lily caught Severus' eye which told her to make the polite decision to decline Marlenna's offered presence. She was able to tell, just from locking eyes with him, that having the extra girl there would cause him nothing shy of anguish.

"Nah, you go on ahead. I hear the miracle of birth can be quite dull," Lily said smiling. "I'm not bound to deliver until the evening according to Madame Pomfery.

"Ya sure, now?" She asked. As if truly inquiring if she wanted to spend her labor alone with Snivellus.

"She said go, McKinnon," Snarled Severus, not looking at her but glaring at the floor. What was it with Gryffindors? Did they always have to prove to everyone what good friends they were to each other?

"Sev!" Lily snapped, giving him a stern look.

"Uh, excuse me?" Marlenna said, placing her hands on her hips. "I don't think I was talking to ya, Snivellus."

"Well, I heard all the same and I do believe Lily told you to sod off."

"You know what?" Marlenna began darkly.

"Okay lets just—Marley do you think you can give us some time alone?" Lily asked, placing her hands together, palms flat. Marlenna didn't move for a moment, being too busy glowering at Snape.

"I'll be back after Dinner. I'll bring all the girls," she said before turning sharply on her heals and stalking out of the room.

"Severus, you can't be rude to people like that," Lily scolded, as if he was one of their babies in need of lessons and direction.

"I can be what ever I like to whom ever I like," he said, fiddling with the edge of the blanket.

"No, you can—AH!" She exclaimed as she doubled over (as much as her bulbous stomach would allow), clutching the bottom of her abdomen.

Severus looked at her in horror as he hollered for Madame Pomfrey. The nurse came flying out of her office and immediately took to Lily's side.

"What is it?" Madame Pomfrey asked, her hand on Lily's shoulder.

"Con-contraction," Lily said through lengthy breath, pulling air in through her nose and expelling it out her mouth. "That was a bad one."

"Would you like a numbing solution?" Madame Pomfrey asked as she took Lily's pulse.

"No, its already over," she said, resting her head against the pillows.

"If you change your mind call for me," she said, stepping back from Lily's bed. She smiled at Severus, who was feet away looking slightly dazed.

"Calm down, Dad, she's okay," Madame Pomfrey joked as she continued into her office, leaving Severus staring dumbfounded in her wake.

"Aw, did that scare you?" Lily asked, unable to hide her teasing grin.

"No," Severus snapped, looking affronted.

"I think wittle Sevewus, was a wittle tinsy bit scawed," Lily teased, smiling wickedly at him.

"Stop that at once," he commanded, glowering in the opposite direction.

Lily laughed happily.

"Come sit down you great lummox," she said, patting the side of the bed. Severus rolled his eyes and abided, stiffly lowering himself at her side.

The hours ticked by slowly and painfully. By the time three o'clock in the morning chimed Lily was hollering in agony, the contractions coming in two minute intervals. Madame Pomfrey was constantly at Lily's bed side having also summoned another healer from St. Mungos to assist with the birth (since there were two babies their were two medics).

"Okay, Lily, the time to push is now," Madame Pomfrey stated, nodding at her sternly.

"O-okay," she sputtered through a haze of pain. She braced herself and began to push, still buried under blankets and sheets.

"Wait, wait, wait" Madame Pomfrey hollered, pulling back the blanket. "I'de like to be able to see what I'm doing as I deliver."

Lily tried to smile but was finding it difficult to experience anything but the tearing sensation between her legs and the explosive pain in her lower abdomen. She felt tired, weak, and like she had to use the bathroom at any given moment. The fact that everyone in the room was staring at her crotch didn't help alleviate any discomfort either.

"Okay Lily I'm going to have you push for ten-seconds then you're going to rest for ten. We're going to continue until the first baby is here, understand?"

"Y-yes," Lily panted as she prepared herself for the first ten-seconds of pushing.

Her face was dripping with sweat, her red hair dangling at the sides, completely drenched. All the muscles in her body were trembling as she sat up to try and push out the first baby. The scream that filled the room was so extravagantly pitched Severus felt a pang of sympathy in his chest and wished he could do something, other than hold her hand, to relieve Lily of the terrible pain she was in.

"One…two…thee…four…five…six…seven…eight…nine…ten," Pomfrey called out as Lily crashed back into the pillows, covering her face with her hands. "Okay ten more seconds," she said as Lily moaned in defiance but pushed herself up nonetheless.

This pattern continued on for thirty torturous minutes until Lily dropped her body, shaking her head.

"I can't do it, I can't push anymore. Just leave it in there," she cried, tears falling down her eyes.

"You can do it," Severus said softly, speaking for the first time in hours. "You must," he concluded.

Lily bit her lip, shaking her head.

"Lily, I know you're exhausted," Madame Pomfrey chimed in. "But I really believe, with one more push, this baby will be out."

Lily blinked bewilderingly and nodded importantly.

"One…two…three…four…five…six…here comes the head…seven…eight…here we go!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed as a black-haired, dark-blue, baby boy spilled out of Lily, unmoving.

Lily waited to hear the nasal cries of the infant as it entered the world but heard nothing save her own rhythmic panting.

"Oh dear," Madame Pomfrey said as she clipped the umbilical cord and passed the child off to the healer who looked just as concerned as Poppy did.

"Oh dear, what?" Lily asked repeatedly as the two healers went to one of the two cradles they had set aside. "Severus what's going on?" Lily asked, her eyes frantic.

"I-I don't know," Severus stated truthfully as mild fear and misunderstanding clawed at his mind.

"What's wrong with it?" Lily gasped as Madame Pomfrey positioned herself between Lily's legs again.

"Don't worry about him, we have to get this other little one out now," she said, her voice full of distressed authority. "You need to push, Lily," she commanded as patient followed doctor's instructions.

In one round of ten-second pushing another little dark haired head was popping out from Lily's opening. In another ten-second interval the baby slipped out, a dark-blue as well, turning pink in under a minute's time.

The little girl scrunched up her face and screamed loudly, her fists balling in discomfort. Madame Pomfrey looked relieved as she clamped the umbilical cord and wrapped her in a blanket, resting her into Lily's arms.

"Meet your daughter, Miss Evans," Madame Pomfrey said before she ushered up quickly towards the little boy who still hadn't uttered a single sound.

Severus looked down at the crying infant in Lily's arms and felt odd pangs wrapping his heart and prickling within his chest. He stood erect at the bed side, examining her closely, trying to control the shaking in his legs and the ramped pounding of his heart. This was his daughter. The concept was unfathomable. She would need him for the entire span of his life and it felt reassuring to be truly needed by someone. Even if it was by someone smaller than a doll. As she uttered a small moan Severus found his heart exploding. How did this tiny little thing have so much control over him already? He wanted to make her happy, he wanted to comfort her and whisper kind words in her ear. He had the desire to take her in his arms; cradle her and never let go.

"Hi," Lily whispered, nuzzling her nose to the crying baby. "Oh, no, shhhhh," she cooed, smiling as tears rolled down her face. "Isn't she beautiful, Sev?"

"Yes," he whispered. She truly was the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen. The image was sublime. The most beautiful woman in the world holding the most beautiful girl in the world.

Her red face was beginning to unclench as her cries dissipated, leaving only the hushed voices of Madame Pomfrey and The Healer whispering spells over the small body of the baby boy. Her hair was as black as Severus', the color of her eyes being a mystery for she had not yet opened them.

"Where's the other one?" Lily asked as she sniffed back her tears, looking over at Madame Pomfrey's and the healer's backs. "Severus whats wrong with him?" She asked, her eyes wide with fright.

"I don't know," Severus said, coming back to the reality of the situation. One of his children was obviously in distress and not well at all.

Knowing the feeling of devotion he felt when looking at his daughter the fear that came over Severus as he realized his son wasn't there, safe in Lily's arms, was more than he could handle. He took five long strides over to Madame Pomfrey, looking over her shoulder at the unmoving, rather bruised and shriveled looking, neonate before him.

"What's wrong with him?" He asked forcefully.

"I'll ask you to go back over there, Mr. Snape," Madame Pomfery scolded.

"Anhelo," she muttered waving her wand over the baby. The child's mouth was gaped as his chest rose quickly and dropped again; the spell breathing for him.

"Cruro Orbis," The Healer whispered pointing his wand at the center of the baby's chest. There was a large red mark where the spell had obviously been cast several times in the boy's short life.

Severus walked around the cradle to watch from the other side. The two were performing magical cardiopulmonary resuscitation on his son. This could not be happening. Why wasn't he breathing? Why wasn't his heart beating? Why did this have to be happening to his son? He hadn't done anything to anyone. He wasn't even old enough to think a bad thought.

"He's going to be okay isn't he?" Lily cried from her bed. "Severus, he's going to be okay isn't he?"

"Desumo Pectoris," The Healer muttered as the baby's whole body jumped as if electrocuted. "Cruro Orbis."

"Severus, what's going on?" Lily asked, fresh tears falling from her eyes.

Severus ripped his eyes from the horrifying scene before him and quickly walked back to Lily, his hands clasped together in fury and apprehension. Why was this happening?

"He isn't breathing, they're-they're performing CPR," he whispered, looking at the floor attempting to conceal the tears forming in his eyes.

"Wha-what's wrong with him?" Lily asked, her face twisted into such anguish it was as if she lived through every hardship in the world.

"I don't know, Lily," he choked, his gaze still on the floor. He ran the back of his hand roughly over his eyes disgusted to see the smears of wetness upon them.

Lily didn't respond but looked down at her now hiccoughing daughter as tears fell from her nose and danced down her cheeks. She cried silently, cradling the small baby to her person unable to cope with the sorrow that surged through her veins.

After forty-five more minutes of performing CPR The Healer pocketed his wand, shaking his head at Madame Pomfrey who pocketed her own. Severus, who had settled himself in the chair at Lily's bedside, opened his eyes. He had placed himself in a meditative state in order to conquer his trepidation and heartache. He stood as Madame Pomfrey walked over to the pair of them, a very forlorn look on her face.

"I'm so sorry," she said, giving them an apologetic look.

"Oh, Merlin!" Lily exclaimed, clutching their alive child to her breast as her tears began cascading ever more forcefully.

"What—what was wrong with him?" Severus asked, unable to stay the shaking that rampaged through his voice.

"There are a number of things that could have gone wrong," Madame Pomfrey began slowly. "He may have been deprived of oxygen in the womb. This happens with twins fairly often. The birth could have been too traumatic for him, his heart not as strong as some, and that could have done him in. There would have to be an autopsy to be certain but that would be up to the two of you."

Severus swallowed hard and bit the inside of his cheek to distract himself from the sadness that wracked his body, his mind. An unfamiliar feeling of sacrifice entered his heart. He wished that he was able to die in the place of the baby. In fact, he would have gladly died in his son's stead. Why did things have to turn out so rotten all of the time?

"There was nothing anyone could have done," Madame Pomfrey said as if it would make the situation sting less. "Would you like to hold him? Say goodbye properly?"

"Y-y-yes," Lily wept, unable to take her eyes off her sleeping daughter.

Madame Pomfrey took the baby girl from Lily's arms and carried her to the cradle right next to her brother's. She picked up the dead infant and slowly walked over to Lily who received him with fresh tears falling from her eyes.

"My baby boy," she cooed, looking into his lifeless face. "Why?" She whispered fixing the blankets that clung to his motionless form. "Oh my poor baby," she murmured.

Severus looked down at the boy, unable to stay his tears any longer. The round droplets rolled down his cheeks as he attempted to sniff them away, dragging his hand across his face. Alas they continued to reform.

Lily held her hand out and grasped Severus' with a grip so tight he was sure they would fuze together. The two sat in silence for a long while, unable to remove their gaze from their deceased child. Sorrow clung in the air like a perpetual cloud and Severus was sure Lily felt the same as he did. As if being happy was something that would never happen again. It was a weight that seemed unable to lift. The young parents were metaphorically sliced open. Their good faith shattered to the cold harsh reality of life's true nature: that life was taken indiscriminately.

As Severus' eyes grew dry, unable to muster anymore tears, he turned to look at Lily who had been humming softly to the baby. It was easier to pretend he was alive as Lily serenaded him. As if the small boy could listen. Severus allowed the tune to sooth his sorrow as he acquiesced to the fantasy of his son living through the birth.

"He needs a name," Severus commented after a while.

"Yeah," Lily sniffed, running her finger over his pale little cheek. "What should we call him?"

"I haven't the faintest idea," answered Severus.

"I like Jaiden," Lily said, staring longingly into the baby's face.

"Jaiden, it is, then," Severus replied, staring at the two of them.

Severus had an odd feeling, sharing this intimate moment with Lily. Their friendship once so solid had been nothing shy of a rocky mountain trail as of late. During this moment, of mourning their son, he (for one) felt incredulously close to Lily. She was the only one who understood his pain. Who felt what he felt. Who would know what he went through on January 16th. He knew she didn't love him, at least not as he did her. However, in this moment pretending she did was easy as they had wept silently, longing for their son to open his eyes. Perhaps she could learn to love him for all his trouble.

Lily had drifted to sleep in the next few hours, utterly exhausted, both mentally and physically. Severus stood from his chair when her breathing had become rhythmic. He stared down at her sleeping form, his heart being enveloped by the familiar ache of desire. He reached out his hand, brushing a red strand from her face then lightly tracing her jaw.

He smiled meekly then turned quietly, walking slowly over to the crib containing his daughter. He peered down at her and was surprised to see her eyes wide open, staring right back at him. She had black eyes with thee most curious tint of blue in them. Severus smiled at her and lifted her from the cradle, holding her for the first time. She gnawed on her tongue looking up at him, her gaze searching his own.

"Hello, there," he whispered, rocking back and forth slightly.

Severus knew he probably looked like a complete fool but he couldn't wipe the ridiculous smile off his face. He had anticipated her to cry out in agony upon his holding her, instinctively hating him. However, she had uttered no sound except the gurgling from her throat. He held her close to his chest for the greater half of an hour before she drifted back into a tender slumber.

The next morning Lily opened her eyes expecting to be in her four poster bed in Gryffindor tower. The series of events that took place yesterday being some kind of elaborate nightmare. When her eyes viewed the hospital wing she knew, all too well, it was reality. She looked to her right to see Severus still sleeping in the chair beside her bed, his elbow propped on the armrest, his head in his hand.

She brought her hand to her forehead, which was viciously pounding, as she sat herself up. Her mouth was dry as a desert, her eyes stinging mercilessly. It was all she could do to not utter a cry for the throbbing between her thighs.

"Madame Pomfrey," Lily called weakly into the empty hospital. "Madame Pomfrey."

"Yes, dear?" She responded as she appeared from her office.

"Could I trouble you for some water and a pain killing solution?"

"Of course," Madame Pomfrey said. She lingered for a moment as if she might say something else but turned swiftly to gather the components of Lily's request.

Upon Madame Pomfrey giving Lily the water and medicine she looked over at Severus who had awoken, staring blankly at the wall. Lily opened her mouth to say good morning as a shrill cry echoed through the room.

"Could you bring her to me?" Lily asked.

Severus nodded passively and walked to the cradle, picking up his squirming daughter. He carried her to Lily who took her with happy words of greeting. She unlatched her hospital gown and guided the little one to eat from her breast. It took the child all of ten-seconds to figure out that this was where food came from and she stopped crying immediately, consumed with eating.

"So, how are you?" Lily asked, looking at Severus with only her eyes.

He felt as if he had been hit by a raging muggle truck. His eyes hurt, his stomach was in knots, his mind felt extinguished, and his whole body wouldn't stop jittering. His hands were shaking and he felt like there were bugs crawling under his skin. The image of his dead son was branded before his eyes, staining his sanity and peace of mind.

"I'm, fine," Severus lied.

"I wish I could lie as well as you," Lily said with a small smirk.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're not fine, Severus," Lily accused. "Nor am I."

"Obviously Lily but I see no reason to discuss it," said Severus coldly, being slightly ruder than he had intended.

"Your son is dead, Severus! Let me guess, you're just going to bottle this away like everything else that bothers you?" Lily asked, sounding just as cold as Severus hadn't intended be.

"Excuse me? I don't bottle things up."

"Oh please," Lily snorted. "You never talk about the things that bother you!"

"Like what?" Severus asked irritably as if he anticipated her not having any examples.

"Like how James and Sirius bully you. You never talk about that. You never want to tell me anything about your absolutely fucked home-life. If you're feeling sad or afraid you just convert it into anger and go about your business. Now I'm sure you're going to leave today pretending that Jaiden never existed."

"How dare you even suggest I could do such a thing?" Severus exclaimed, his voice raising with his seething temper.

"Because it's who you are, Severus," she responded.

"Nice to know you think so highly of me," he said, his heart breaking even more thoroughly than it was already. Perhaps she wouldn't ever love him for all his trouble.

"You brought it on yourself," she said glaring away from him.

"I brought it on myself?" He repeated.

"Yeah you and your precious Death Eater friends" she said venomously. "You were never as cold or apathetic before you hung out with that crowd! You turned your back on decent things the moment you started hanging around those prats."

"Not this rubbish again," he said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

"Yes, this rubbish again," she challenged. "And this rubbish is going to keep on coming until you wise up and ditch those friends of yours."

"What ever," he said pathetically. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Yeah because it's not going your way," she said darkly.

"I find very little goes my way," he pouted, glaring away from Lily, for once, not wanting to even look at her. . .

Author's Note: So we've reached the half way marker in this fanfiction, only five more chapters to go. I do hope you're enjoying it.