I had a realization today. The guys and I had a playdate with the kids as I was talking to them, things began to become clear...
"I want to paint mine blue!" I heard a child say.
"Daddy, can I have the pink glitter?" said another.
I heard a heavy sigh come from Shikamaru. "What a drag."
Today, Sai, Shikamaru, Kiba, Chouji, Lee, Shino, and Neji took our kids out to the local fair. It was geared toward younger kids so there were little things to do as an adult as far as rides but they did have an adult sitting area. I guess that's nice.
"Now Inojin, don't wander off too far, okay?" Sai told his son before he kissed him on the forehead. Inojin just nodded enthusiastically and grabbed onto Shinachiku and Choji.
Shikadai looked at his father, silently begging him not to make him play. "Father, can't I just...stay with you or something?" However, before Shikamaru could say anything, Metal took him by the arm calling to the other kids to wait for them. "Wait up guys, Shikadai and I are coming!"
I looked at him amused. "That kid is your twin you know? Seriously, did you carry him?"
He scoffed at me and found a picnic table to sit at. "The only proof I have that I didn't are those green eyes." The rest of us sat our bags down and joined him at the table. Arashi yawned in my arms as he snuggled closer to my chest. Hanami slept soundly in Kiba's arms next to me. "Since I've been home, all he's done is follow me and copy everything I do. I'm not annoyed or anything but I think Temari is getting jealous...and I don't want to deal with that."
"Metal and I do everything together! I didn't have to ask him to wear the green jumpsuit! he wanted to wear it! I'm so proud of him." Lee boasted. He has been taking care of Metal since his mother died as an infant. Since then, he's been doing the parenting thing by himself. Of course the fellas we give him advice and help him out when asked. I remember when He came to my house to learn how to change a diaper. Metal is just a year younger than Shinachiku but Sakura wasn't home at the time and I just started to get the hang of it. I think we changed about ten diapers that day.
"Oh yeah," I rocked Arashi in my arms. "Is he still struggling with his anxiety?"
"Yeah, but he's getting a lot better these days! I'm so proud of him... I'm hoping he can conquer it soon but I'm not going to rush it."
"I think Choji is picking up on my favorite foods," Chouji spoke mid-bite. "She used to want to eat berries all the time but now, whenever I was my chips, here she comes."
"Sounds familiar..." Shikamaru mumbled.
"If I don't be careful, she'll find my stash I hid from Karuni. Not good." He took a bite out of his chip and then held up the bag. "But this is."
"Inojin is becoming a prodigy with his art." Sai showed us his art book. "Though I wish he wouldn't release them in-house. they bust after they take three steps off the page. Ino is getting annoyed with the ink."
"Tenten is becoming more brash than usual. I know you guys said it was normal with her hormones being heightened but it's getting ridiculous. I asked her a question and she summoned four kunais. At the midnight eating? I'm swimming in crumbs here."
I remember when Sakura did that. She'd always say I was lying so I snuck a picture of her. Then she broke the camera. "It'll pass Neji." I patted his back in reassurance. "She'll calm down after a while."
"Oh, dickless." I rolled my eyes knowing exactly who it was. After all this time and what we've been through, he still calls me that. At least it's less frequent.
"What do you want, Sai?"
"Just wanted to ask how's home life considering you've been a house husband for a few months now. How was it getting to spend so much time with the kids compared to before?"
"Well," I looked at Arashi stared back at me. His red hair was starting to come in and he was crying less and less these days. I then looked at my sleeping daughter. She's been spending time with her brother a lot and has picked up a few of his words, even though she uses and pronounces them wrong. I looked back at the group as I prepared to answer. "It's been...amazing honestly. Sure, in the beginning, I got a lot less work done-"
"A lot," Shikamaru mumbled again but I decided to ignore it.
"But they keep me happy and, in a way, engaged? I've never been more excited to approve paperwork when Shinachiku comes in and sits in my lap, sometimes even reading it to me! He's been doing that for a couple of weeks now and his speech has improved immensely! Hanami wants me to do her hair every day now when before, she would only let Shikamaru and her mother touch it. I'm like...a hair goddess to her right now. Or is it God? Either way, she likes me to do her hair! And Arashi, he's just the quietest baby. The only reason he cries these days is because he's hungry, wants to be changed, or wants to be held. Besides that, it's like he's not even there! Sakura-chan says its because feels comfortable with me." I held him up with pride and kissed him on both cheeks. "You love papa don't you Arashi?"
"That's good you feel like that, Naruto. But how will you feel once you have to go back to the office full-time?" Shikamaru asked.
"It's finished?" Time couldn't have passed that quickly...
"Yup. Should be opening...tomorrow?"
I jumped. "Tomorrow? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I did...yesterday."
"Oh.." I didn't expect this day to come so quickly. Maybe it's because I was having too much fun being with the kids?
"I know it'll be hard to get used to again but you should prepare. We both have to..."
Silence took over the group as we watched the kids play around. Metal and Shinachiku were blowing bubbles while Chouji, Inojin, and Shikadai splashed each other in the kiddy water. Being with my kids for six months straight is making me realize what i missed out on. I could have been there for small moments like this but it's not like I'm a merchant either. I'm the Hokage and I have duties to Konoha...but I don't want those duties to get in the way of seeing my kids grow up...
"You know, I've been thinking about having kids these days." Everyone looked at Kiba with surprised expressions, especially me. This guy boasted to us every time any one of us had a kid or kids about being childless and how he gets a 'good night's sleep' and that he still 'looks youthful unlike us' or some shit. Now he wants a kid? Oh, I got to hear this.
"What? I think I can be a great father. See? Look how comfortable Hanami is," He held up my child as if she was a trophy he just won. "Soundly asleep!"
"Hold on because you were just dissing us about being parents, what changed?" chuckled Neji. He and Tenten just married two years ago and discovered they were expecting five months ago. "What? are you jealous?"
"Yeah, you just said I looked old as dirt the other day so what changed?" I said.
He pulled Hanami closer to him. "Two things can be true at the same time, Naruto. You still look old as shit and I could be thinking about fatherhood."
I leaned back and sucked my teeth. "You're lucky you're holding Hanami right now."
"I know! She's my good luck charm." His toothy grin made me roll my eyes and put my attention on Arashi.
"But seriously guys, I know I dunked on you but I'm seriously starting to consider it!" He pointed at each and every one of us. "Shika, your kid is practically your twin! Shino, you make Mirai laugh without doing much-well that's all the time-but you have a great relationship with her! Sai and Chouji, you guys get to pass down your techniques to Inojin. Lee, you have someone to do all your exercises and ridiculous routines with. Naruto, you get to make even more chaos with you and your kids at home, like that cake fiasco-"
"Wait- how did you know that?"
"And Neji," He turned to him then to Hanami. Her breathing was steady with the cool breeze surrounding her. She looked...peaceful. "I want to experience the moment you and Tenten found out you were going to be parents. I just...I don't know. I guess you guys rubbed off on me..."
"Well," Shino finally spoke. "Have you spoken with Tamaki? Does she know you've been thinking about having kids?"
"That's...not yet. I just thought about it recently, that's all. I won't say anything until I'm sure." Kiba nodded.
"Hmm...well keep thinking about it. You're a terrible uncle, you don't want to be a terrible father too." Shino added. Kiba's mouth dropped as he stumbled over his words defending himself. "Guys, he doesn't even bring the right candy for her. I showed her ladybugs, he shows her dog bones. I don't know what's wrong with him." He shook his head, ignoring Kiba's noises.
"A dog bone? Really Kiba?" Sai chuckled.
"The wrong candy? That's a heinous crime! What did he bring?" Chouji asked.
"...Licorice."
Everybody groaned as soon as those words left his lips.
"Kiba no!" Lee practically shouted. "Even I think it's a nasty candy and I eat every kind of candy."
"N-now wait a minute, I love licorice!" Kiba attempted to save himself
Neji shook his head."No dude, licorice is very nasty."
"I wouldn't even give my worse enemy licorice." Shikamaru laughed.
"That's not all guys, it was black licorice." Shino chimed in.
"Black licorice?!" We all said in unison.
"You liar!"
The kids really knocked themselves out today. Since we came home, they've been sleeping. The only person who is up right now is Arashi and I, who's present in my arms as I write this entry. Honestly, I'm glad I went out with the guys today. They gave me some insight into my decision. I enjoy being Hokage, it's what I always wanted...however, I don't want to miss out on my kids. I can't help I have an important job to do but I have to step up as a father to do right by my kids by being there for them at the end of the day. I could save the world but what would that mean if I wasn't able to save my kids, right? I know what I want. I want to be there for my kids. I'll have to talk to Shikamaru tomorrow, the building is finally opening back up. Hopefully, it all goes well. Wish me luck journal.