I really shouldn't say things such as, "The story will update more frequently.", because just after I say them, I just know it's not going to happen. And it did. Two months without a new chapter. Truly, I am ashamed of myself, and I apologize for the incredibly long wait. Hopefully, (*Raps wood with knuckles, just in case whatever spiritual forces that like to contradict my statements are listening.*), this story will progress further. I'll be doing the suggestions sequentially, in order of oldest to newest. Anyways, you probably don't want to hear my blathering. I've talked enough, as is!
4.) Call forth an invulnerable Jedi Knight to consistently irritate Dark Council members with Jedi philosophy. Repeat as necessary.
Of all things, Darth Marr was bored. Even after the multiple crusades of Thanaton to annoy him, some of which still worked, he had slowly become acclimatized to Thanaton's presence. Darth Ravage was currently dealing with a related problem to the lack of cookies. When Dromund Kaas had finally gotten word of the miserable stockpile of cookies on Korriban, they sent a supply fleet of cookies with all haste to the planet. One thing that was conveniently left out of the Sith Code, was that cookies were essential to the Sith lifestyle. Despite the fact that the Sith on Dromund Kaas would be perfectly content with hoarding the cookies to themselves, two Dark Council members were on Korriban, and the Dark Council is a force no Sith wants to acquire the wrath of. When the cookies arrived, much to the delight of the planet, an odd discovery was made. Thanaton, being an idiot as usual, had finally acquired some marshmellows, and, stealing a cookie for himself, placed them on his cookie, beginning to devour it. When he took a bite of his combination, he declared it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. Another Sith decided to be adventurous and tried the combination, liking it as well. The newly dubbed "marshmellow-cookies" had caused an uproar throughout the planet, and Ravage was making sure that the entire planet didn't end up like Baras.
Marr was jarred out of his thoughts by the sound of a fist rapping against the door. Sighing, he sidled out of his seat, stepping over to the door and opening it. A man in brown robes had his hood up, with azure eyes, and sandy blonde hair. A lightsaber was attached to his belt.
"Good day, sir. Can I interest you in the light-"
Darth Marr slammed the door into his face. How a Jedi even slipped by, probably when the sentries were eating Thanaton's concoction, was perplexing. A brochure slid under the door. Marr snatched it from the ground and glanced it over. The brochure had a picture of sunshine bathing a tranquil valley in light, as a river ran through it. The words on the cover read: "The Light: The Good and the Better!". The entire thing was appalling, and Darth Marr quickly tore it in half.
"The light side is always looking for new initiates!"
"What the-!" Marr pivoted about, noticing the Jedi outside his window. Marr fumed and channelled Fore Lightning, casting it forth at the window. The lightning burst through the glass striking the Jedi, who simply continued smiling. Marr was slightly disturbed by the scene, and ceased, turning around to collect his thoughts.
"Do you need another brochure, sir? Your previous one seems to have been ripped in half."
Marr sceamed in annoyance, as he turned yet again, only to find the Jedi standing in his office. Igniting his lightsaber, the poor Darth plunged his blade into the Jedi's chest. Marr stared directly into the Jedi's eyes, as he waited for him to stumble, collapse, anything that showed death.
Nothing happend. No blood, no shocked grunt. The Jedi simply continued to stand there with his smile and brochures. "Sir, the light side doesn't involve manslaughter. So, you see, you shouldn't kill me if you want to follow the light."
"But I don't want to follow the light. So, get out of my office." Marr snarled, rapidly losing his patience.
The Jedi seemed to briefly consider this, before shrugging. "I don't think I can do that, sir. You see, my purpose is to convert every lifeform to the light side. I'm the perfect Jedi! Unkillable, as murder is not the way of the light side, and I hand out wonderful brochures, because reading is a good thing!"
"Oh for the love of the Empire," Marr muttered, exasperated, before giving a sharp whistle. When Marr had found out about Thanaton's death-by-tuk'ata, he immediately commisioned a search for the exact tuk'ata that had dealt with Thanaton. A good portion of Imperial soldiers were lost, but at last the beast was found. Marr decided to name it after the most ugliest thing he could find, so the poor creature was "gifted" with the name 'Thanaton'.
Sure enough, the tuk'ata leapt into the room, sniffing its surroundings before noticing Marr. The Jedi jumped at the sight of the creature, and Marr smiled.
"Thanaton - kill! " Marr ordered as the tuk'ata dived towards the Jedi, who nimbly dodged to the side as he exited via the window, the tuk'ata in pursuit. Sure, the Jedi was unkillable, but that didn't mean Marr couldn't chase him off with his pet. As Marr was smirking at the thought, he heard a whisper behind him, soft, but audible.
"The light side is always looking for viable recruits, sir."
Marr promptly swore rather loudly.