I saw Dr. Righnhard later in the afternoon and wondered why he was still smiling after I told him my dream. I did not tell him that the events up until Daniel shoving me into the snow and pointing his weapon at me, really did take place. I didn't think anyone should know how soft Daniel's lips were and how he seemed to never let me go when we huddled under the blanket and watched the stars come out.

He handed me a piece of paper as I left. "Dr. Lam will give you this. This is just a mild sedative to help you sleep. If you have any further dreams, please don't hesitate to come back before your next session," Dr. Righnhard said.

I thanked him, but wondered what he was expecting to happen between now and the next session in 24 hours. I rode the elevators to the infirmary and found Dr. Lam in her office.

"Colonel Carter," she said, looking up from a folder. "Please, come in."

I smiled and sat down. Her office was the same one Janet had used, but seemed more clinical, less inviting. There was a picture of her rock climbing but that was the only personal picture in the office. Of course I did not have a lot of personal pictures in my office either, just of the team from some of our "nights out" and one of me, Dad, Mark and his family from a few Christmas' ago.

"A sedative?" Dr. Lam asked, looking up from the prescription. "Did the pills not work?"

"No, they worked fine. I just had a nightmare and Dr. Righnhard thought it would be best if I took something stronger for a few nights so I don't have another one."

She nodded. "Come with me, and I can get it for you."

I followed her out to the medicine closet, stocked with a hospital worth of liquids, pills and syringes. The infirmary had to be ready for anything; prepared to hospitalize and treat hundreds of patients at a moment's notice I once more thanked her and walked to my quarters, pausing for a second outside Daniel's room. I dropped my meds on my night stand and decided to try to do some work for the day.

Once more I paused outside Daniel's room; I swore I heard someone talking from within. I went to the door and put my ear against it. It was wedged open by a balled up piece of fabric. I heard someone talking and pulled my hand away from the fabric.

"I should have known you would be making such a stupid move, Jackson," Cam's voice came again. "I should have left Sam with the rest and doubled back, help you fight Adria. I should never have believed you when you said you were right behind us. Damn it Jackson! How could you have been so stupid?!"

I backed away and fought the tears. Cam was voicing what I am sure we all wante to say: Daniel should have told us what he wanted to do. He told us of his theory before we had encountered the Ori again, but we could not believe he'd end up testing it; testing it once Adria had showed up once more with a dangerous proposition.

I should have known what he was going to do. I saw it in his eyes as he looked back at me, how he seemed to say he was sorry, begging for my forgiveness when we were exiting the cave and he said he had forgotten his book in the cave. I should have run after him, tackled him, and yelled at him.

I knew he did not carry any books on this mission. I knew because he told me the night before, after everyone left, after he told us his theory. He said he never wanted anyone to know what he had thought should something happen. He said he never wanted any one of us to have to deal with the backlash of his musings. I should have stopped him when I saw his eyes soften as he looked at me, making me forget, making me remember how he had touched my face and kissed my lips as the snow fell around us.