I own nothing! I own nothing! I own nothing!
...
"Miss Granger, I believe you are up next," Said Professor Binns in his usual monotone voice, "What is your chosen topic?"
"The discrimination of elves throughout wizarding history, Sir," Replied Hermione, who was eager to start.
The class had been set homework to prepare a speech on their chosen subject to do with history of magic. Hermione immediately chose elf rights, having felt very strongly on the subject ever since her fourth year. Now she was in her sixth year, she still despised those who mistreated elves.
"You have two minutes," He said, stifling a yawn, "Begin."
"Throughout history, elves have been subject to abuse from their so called 'masters'."
Hermione paused and looked around. Not surprisingly, the whole class was dozing with their heads on their desks. Ron had his elbow on the desk, propping up his head with one hand, his mouth open and drooling slightly. Harry was sitting up straight; however his head lolled backwards in his deep sleep.
"Surely," Continued Hermione, slightly pissed off that nobody was paying any attention, "elves have the right to wages and sick leave, the same way humans do. Yet over thousands of years, they have been imprisoned like slaves."
She looked up from her notes and took a breath when to her horror she noticed Professor Binns was snoring softly.
"Great," She muttered to the sleeping class, "Just perfect."
She still had another minute to fill before the timer pinged and awoke everyone, but there was just no point. Nobody cared what she said... so she decided to ramble on.
"Well," She said, "I could strip off my clothes, reveal that under these robes I'm actually just wearing underwear covered in glow in the dark, neon body paint and do the macarena on top of my desk."
Still, not a single person in the class stirred.
"Now I know what you're all thinking," She went on, "Neon colours are sooo last year. But I think they add a certain je ne sais quoi to my underwear ensemble. It's true that the paint is hell to get off in the shower but I really think that-"
The timer pinged loudly making everyone jump out of their slumber.
"Well done, Miss Granger," Said the Professor, "That was very enlightening."
"Thank you, Sir," Said Hermione as she sat back down, internally sniggering at the speech her classmates has missed.
"Mr Weasley, your turn."
Ron, whose eyes had already glazed over glanced up. His elbow slipped off the desk and he snorted loudly.
"Huh?" He said stupidly.
Hermione tutted and rolled her eyes just as the bell went, signalling the end of class.
"Saved by the bell," Murmured Harry as they packed up their belongings.
"Tell me about it," Said Ron yawning widely, "Great speech by the way Hermione."
"Oh as if you heard a word of it!" Snapped Hermione, "You were asleep the whole way through!"
"Just daydreaming actually," Replied Ron, a sneaky grin spreading across his face, "I know it had something to do with underwear and glow in the dark body paint."
Hermione blushed as Harry roared with laughter.
"Next time, don't be so sure that I never listen in class," Said Ron, chuckling as he swung his bag over his shoulder.
...
"Ahem," Said Dumbledore, clearing is throat in a very Umbridge-like fashion in an attempt to get the attention of his pupils.
The Great Hall was packed full of students finishing their dinner and chatting away happily. Whether it was on purpose or not, Professor Dumbledore was being completely and utterly ignored.
Once again he made a bid for attention, "Quiet down please."
Yet again, the students continued to chat.
His eyes twinkling, he rolled up the sleeve of his midnight blue robes and pushed his half moon spectacles up his nose. Pulling out his wand, he stood up and cast a few fire crackers up above the four tables.
Silence immediately fell as the loud explosions echoed around the hall.
"Now that I have your attention, I'd like to make an announcement," He said calmly, sitting back down on his chair.
Everyone sat up a little straighter on the wooden benches, paying close attention. When Dumbledore made announcements they were, more often than not, very important.
"The muggleborns among us will be aware of something called the internet and instant messaging."
There were a few murmurs of understanding from the muggleborns, including Hermione.
"He's finally lost it," She muttered under her breath to Ron and Harry, who were both sitting opposite her, "Everyone knows the internet wouldn't work around Hogwarts. There's too much magic in the air! He's lost his marbles!"
"Actually Miss Granger, I am still the owner of the majority of my marbles," Said Dumbledore, making Hermione blush a violent shade of red.
"That man has bloody good hearing," Whispered Ron in amazement.
"He really does Mr Weasley, "Said the Headmaster, making Ron blush even redder than Hermione, "Now if I may continue?"
Ron and Hermione nodded their heads, still incredibly embarrassed as Harry sniggered quietly.
"As I was saying, the muggles use the internet to communicate with one another almost instantly. Now we all know that we wizards and witches can just send an owl or a patronus, but owls take days to deliver a message, and even the most accomplished wizards and witches struggle to create a patronus, let alone make it send a message."
A few people glanced at Harry, knowing that he was one of the youngest wizards who had successfully cast the patronus charm.
"The ministry has come up with a magical version of the internet. It has been... ahem imaginatively... named the wizardnet."
Dumbledore paused for a minute as interested murmurs and whispers spread around the Great Hall.
"I will leave the rest for your house prefects to explain" – Hermione proudly sat up a little straighter – "and they will hand out the necessary equipment. Now, off you all go to your dormitories, I'm sure you can't wait to explore this fantastic addition to wizarding inventions."
And with a nod of his head, he dismissed the excited students, who all rushed off as fast as they could.
...
"Okay, listen up Gryffindors," Shouted Hermione over the loud chattering in the common room, "I need to explain about the wizardnet parchment. Excuse me!"
Nobody paid the slightest bit of attention to her as she stood helplessly in the middle of the room, clutching a large stack of parchment.
"Oi prats!" Bellowed Ron, getting up from the sofa to stand beside her, "Shut your mouths and listen to her!"
Surprised by Ron's outburst, everyone was silent immediately. Everyone except...
"Awwww ickle Ronniekins is standing up for Hermione," Cooed Fred.
"Does Ronniekins wuv Hermione?" Said George in an equally annoying tone.
Ron went a rather impressive shade of purple and leapt at his brothers.
"Anyway," Said Hermione timidly as the three boys wrestled in the corner, "I need to hand out this parchment to you all. You all get one each and you can't lose it; it's going to cost you ten galleons to replace if you do."
"What's it for?" Asked Dean as he helped her hand them around.
"Basically, you all need to choose an m-mail address and register it with me so I can send them to the ministry so they can keep it on their date base. An m-mail address is what you will use to communicate with each other over the wizardnet."
Blank, confused faces stared back at her, clearly not understanding what she was talking about. Hermione sighed exasperatedly and continued.
"Each of you will have a unique m-mail address, no two are the same," She said, "To send a message to somebody you simply find out what their m-mail address is and write theirs, followed by yours, at the top of your enchanted parchment. You then proceed to write a message which will be sent straight to the recipient's parchment, alerting them by beeping like a mobile phone."
"What's a mobile phone?" Asked Neville.
"Ummm never mind," Said Hermione, not wanting to make things more complicated than they already were, "It's the same as writing a letter, only it's instant. Each time you write a sentence it will disappear on your parchment so you'll never run out of space."
Everyone seemed to understand her so she moved on to the final part.
"There is also a chat option. You simply write 'chat' followed by your m-mail address at the top of the parchment. This will log you into the wizardnet system and will show you who else is available online to chat with. You tick the address of the person you want to chat with (you may or may not know who they are depending on whether you recognise the m-mail address) and the instant messaging will begin. Does everyone understand?"
Most people nodded so she took that as a general 'yes'.
"Excellent," She said cheerfully as she gave out the last of the parchment. I'll put a sheet of paper up so you can register you m-mail addresses on the notice board. Make sure you've signed it by tomorrow morning because I'm sending it off at 11.00am."
...
So what do you think about this wizardnet stuff?" Ginny asked her best friend, Luna, as people rushed to swarm the notice board.
"It's quite clever really," She said in her soft, dreamy voice, "I wonder if it'll catch on."
"Probably," Said Ginny," Hermione said that muggles are addicted to instant messaging so I don't see any reason why we won't like it."
"I don't know," Replied Luna, "I can't help but feel it's going to cause some problems."
"Oh please Luna," Laughed Ginny, getting up from the sofa to write her name on the list, "What's the worst that could happen?"
...
Sorry that chapter was a bit slow but there's just so much explaining to do before I can get into the swing of things. Next chapter up soon! Please read and review!