"Tony, no. Absolutely not."
"Come on, everyone else is already on board."
"No."
Tony shook his head. "It's for Steve's birthday, Natasha. You really want to ruin Cap's birthday by being the only one who wouldn't go along with his present?"
She sighed. "... no. Fine. I'll do it." She paused. "But you all are wearing heels, too."
"I didn't get those, though!"
"Better get shopping, then. You all wear heels, or I'm out."
Tony laughed. "Fine, fine! The dress is in your room. We're gonna start everything tomorrow at four." He held his hand up. "High five?"
Natasha rolled her eyes, but high-fived him anyway.
Darcy knocked on Steve's door at 3:55. "Come on, Cap!"
He opened it. "You guys know I'm not into the whole big birthday thing. Do I really have to do this?"
"Trust me, you want to be there for this one." She grinned.
"Oh ... all right." He closed his door behind him and followed Darcy to the common room, eyes widening at the massive cake in the corner of the room.
"Wow, that's a huge cake!" he said, grinning. "Good thing I skipped lunch."
Darcy pointed him to the chair in the center of the room, festooned with a ridiculous amount of streamers and balloons. "Your seat, sir."
He chuckled and sat down.
"Why could I not be the one in the cake?" Thor asked, adjusting his wig.
"Thor, honey ... you know you'd be too tempted to eat it," Natasha grinned.
He laughed. "Probably. So who did you get to be in the cake?"
"You'll see," Tony smirked.
"Were the shoes really necessary?" Clint asked, trying not to roll an ankle.
"Those were actually Natasha's idea," Tony said.
Natasha laughed. "Hey, it's about time you all learn what it's like to walk around in heels."
"I don't know how I let you talk me into this, Stark," Nick Fury said as he came out of the spare room. He adjusted his wig. "You owe me."
"Oh, I don't know," Tony said. "Those spangles look great on you, Fury."
"You look ... very nice, sir," Phil said, readying his camera and trying not to laugh.
"And how did Coulson get out of dress duty?"
"I'm taking the pictures, sir."
"... great."
Tony looked around. "Okay, you all look ... well, some of us look better than others. Let's do this."
Phil came out first and staked out the best spot to get pictures; Steve was just getting ready to ask what was going on when the lights dimmed and a mini-spotlight - rigged up earlier by Darcy - hit the front of the room.
As the music started, all of the Avengers (and Director Fury, looking somewhat amused) swaggered out in tight spangly dresses and Marilyn Monroe wigs, and Tony took the mike.
"Cap, since it's your birthday, we figured we should probably sing you a song." He cleared his throat, and affected a high, somewhat off-key falsetto, as the others danced behind him.
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday, Mister ... uh ... Captain ... uh ... Steve!
Happy birthday to you!
Oh the last note, Loki - also wearing a spangly dress - popped out of the cake, sending frosting everywhere and making Steve laugh so hard he almost fell out of his chair.
"This is so going on YouTube," Darcy said. "I knew filming this was a great idea."
"Happy birthday, man," Clint said. "Now, I'm going to take these shoes off." He turned, and promptly fell on his ass.
Natasha shook her head. "Men. Seriously, they're just shoes." She crossed the room and kissed Steve's cheek. "Happy birthday."
"Any chance I can talk you into not changing?" Steve grinned. "It is my birthday, after all."
"Oh ... all right." She pulled up a chair next to his. "But I'm definitely going to be letting you know when my birthday is."
"Fair enough," Steve laughed.
Thor took his shoes off and bent to help Clint off the ground. "Well, if it is all the same to you, Steve, I am going to change," he grinned.
"Yeah, let's do that, then we'll have some grub and Steve can open presents," Tony nodded.
"Oh man, I hope they're as good as you in a dress, Tony," Steve laughed, "because those are going to be the best presents ever."