I must admit that I nearly never plan stories. I have an idea and need to write it down. Then while writing I think about how the story could go on. Then slowly, I get an action but the most difficult part of it is the ending. Because in my versions, the evil mostly win. They do always lose or get killed in the books or movies and so they win at least in my fanfic. For example, I used to like Julius when I read the book and was sad when he got killed (although he's a bit childish). I like Yassen very much and it's a shame that an antagonist with so much potential already died in book 4 and therefore I'll really looking forward to the new novel about Yassen.

Perhaps Alex won't die here in the end but I'm not sure yet. Don't be disappointed in case the evil get away and don't stop reading because of that. Like I said, I don't know an ending yet. (And I already killed Alex in my other Alex Rider/ NCIS fanfic "A dangerous girlfriend").

Just read on and tell me what you think about it.

Chapter 5

'MI6 is still protecting Alex' Sasha informed Keith.

'Be careful. We need to be on the safe side this time' he warned her.

'When will you interact? I think we've waited long enough and Julius is getting impatient.'

'I booked him and your father a flight to Washington. They'll arrive in two days and stay in a little flat in downtown. They'll watch Alex for a while and then we'll exchange Alex with Julius.'

'They need to be careful as well. Alex noticed his MI6 follower today, he's already suffering paranoia.'

'Has he told you anything yet?'

'Nope. I guess he fears that I'll end up like Sabina.'

'Has it been fun?'

'A satisfaction, she had been his girl for so long' Sasha answered smilingly.

'Good. Yassen will call you as soon as they landed in DC.'

The connection was lost and Sasha put away her cell phone. She was sitting in her little own room which was two doors away from Alex' and looked exactly the same.

She decided that this was enough for today and went sleeping. She knew that Alex would tell her sooner or later. She had time and was patient, in contrast to Keith and Julius.

Sasha awaited Julius and her father Yassen at the airport. The flight was late, usual for the airline but finally the two men passed the gates. She hugged her father deeply and kissed Julius on his lips.

She and Yassen have agreed with Keith that when the operation was over, she'd be allowed to kill Julius. With a provided car and a faked driver's license she drove them to the flat Keith had bought for this little operation. They unpacked the things and Yassen went to the supermarket.

'Well, now we're alone' Julius said and put his hands around Sasha's waist and pushed her against the wall.

'And what do you propose?' she asked alluringly.

'I don't know' he said and wiped a strand of hair from her face.

Twenty minutes later they lay on the bed in Julius' room. 'You heard that?' she asked suddenly. 'Dad's coming back.'

She searched her clothes and started putting on her jeans and t-shirt again. Julius just sighed and took his time for putting on his clothes again. Sasha already went into the living room where Yassen put two brown paper bags on the table.

'I called Keith. He thinks we could start within one week' he explained in Russian because he knew Julius wouldn't understand it. She nodded.

'Can I kill him then?' she asked and nodded over to Julius' room.

'Of course, but we need to be careful. You should not underestimate Alex Rider, Aleksandra.'

'I know. Dad, trust me. Nobody will ever do this mistake again.'

'Tell "Scorpia".'

'MI6 already knows that something's planned. They sent someone to follow Alex secretively.'

'If this could be a risk, eliminate them, Aleksandra' Yassen permitted and made his girl smile.

'I love you' he added and kissed her on her hair. 'Now go back and care for dear little Alex.'

She nodded, hugged him again and left the flat.

'Sasha, I…need to tell you something' Alex said, without emotion, without any feeling in his voice or in his soul. He did not look at her, he couldn't look at her beauty, he stared at the wall, into nowhere.

She sat down on his bed and watched him. She had never asked anything, she had always listened when he spoke, rarely, she had spoken, talked with him, even when she hadn't got an answer and she had kept silence when he wanted it.

'Alex…' she started but he shook his head.

'I lied to you…I'm not the person you think I am.' He cursed himself. Why did he do this? He could stop right now, tell her that he wasn't ready yet.

But it was only fair toward her, it was fair for her to know the truth, she was the right person, with her he could speak and nobody would ever know what they have spoken about.

'Come with me' he decided. This place was too unsafe, it could be bugged.

They walked out of the building, walked through the big city and entered a park. They were more anonymous here, they could be watched, but nobody would hear what they talked about. She hasn't said anything yet, she only listened, friendly and patiently. He liked her patience and that she was interested but not intrusive.

'I did not tell you the truth about me' he started once more and stared at the green nature.

He remembered Sabina's face in front of him, her laughing, her smiling at him, her crying, her being angry or her being scared when they had been kidnapped by Cray. Her life had been in danger because Alex had felt something for her, because he had told her. But why?

Because he had perhaps loved her, he didn't love anymore, because everybody found out that he told her, Blunt, Yassen, Cray, now nobody would know, he would not tell anybody and he was sure she wouldn't either.

He did not know how Sabina died but he wished her a fast death, he hoped that it hadn't hurt, he could never forgive himself, he was responsible for the death of her and her family, for the death of the hundreds of passengers, police officers and helpers at the plane crash.

Actually, one dead body more or less didn't matter, but Sasha mattered to her. He didn't want to bring her life in danger and didn't understood himself when he did.

'My name is not Alex Doyle. I'm actually called Alex Rider, I'm British, went to Brookland for a while but then…I was…recruited by British MI6 secret service for one of their missions.'

He made a little break to see her reactions, there were none. 'On one mission other followed and at all, I was nine times involved in some kind of undercover missions I made for MI6, CIA and some other people. I know that sounds odd and you probably don't believe me but—'

'I do believe you' she said quickly and took his hand. 'It all sounds so obvious, it explains a lot.'

'Explains what?'

'Your behavior. Why you could tackle that guy with the knife, why you've been followed and how you'd escaped him…your…behavior…you…must have been through a lot and I understand that it's been very hard.' She tried to smile and Alex tried to smile back. No, she couldn't understand what he'd been through but maybe she imagined.

He was glad that she accepted his explanation as fast as Tommy had.

'Alex, have you…have you killed? I mean, I've read a lot about psychological traumata and consequences and I think—'

'Yes. You're right, I have killed persons. And I'm responsible for some more deaths' he admitted and pulled back his hands from hers. She nodded but took his hands again.

'You're still under shock.'

'You can't imagine…seeing someone getting killed…killing someone…'

She sighed before she spoke on and she chose her words advisedly. 'For a matter of fact, I once saw…someone dying.'

'Who? When?' he now asked in surprise.

'When I was six years old, I've lived with my mum before and my parents had an argument because she couldn't understand my dad, he…pulled out a weapon and she grabbed a kitchen knife. They didn't notice I was standing in the door. My father…kicked away her knife, took another one and stabbed it into her body.

'Then he turned around and saw me in the doorstep. I walked nearer and he turned the knife in her flesh and pulled it out again. With a kitchen towel he wiped the knife clean and put it back. Since then he care for me' she answered.

Alex couldn't respond. He would have never guessed that she had experienced so much cruelty in her life, so much…he couldn't describe with words.

But it was similar to him, she concealed that her father had trained her killing after this event, that she had started to like it, although she didn't feel the psychopathic pleasure, that she killed first time in the age of six, that her father had been so proud of her and so glad. That he had trained her inner control so that you coped the bad conscious, he taught her meditation and patience, sports, physical fitness and mental one, forced her learning all languages he spoke, too, Yassen was capable using eleven languages, including Japanese he had kept learning the days when he officially had died and Chinese which he had recently started.

'I can understand you, Alex Rider and you can be sure that I won't tell anybody about what you told me or will tell me.'

'Promised?'

'I promise with my life…and the one of my father.'

'He's still living?'

She nodded, looking sad. 'He gave me away because he wanted more time for his job.'

'What's he doing?'

'He's a hatchet man.'

Alex didn't react. An image of Yassen Gregorovich passed his head, blonde, blue eyes, perfect body, physical and mental fitness, Russian. No, that couldn't be. Yassen was dead and there were more than just one contract killer in Russia. It was a coincidence and he completely threw this thought away.

'So, tell me more about you, Alex.'

'What do you want to know?'

'Everything. How did you come to MI6? When did you start working for them? Something 'bout your missions' she said and held his hands stronger.

He hesitated.

'I know that you never wanted to spoke with psychologists or staff like that. But with me you can talk, Alex. I bet I can better understand you than them. I got you to know for a little while already and I know that a lot must have happened to…change you.'

Alex sighed. He decided to trust her, he wasn't forced to talk with her, she didn't get money for listening like all the psychologists did. She was just interested because she liked him.

But he didn't get the picture of Sabrina's dead and cut open body out of his mind. Perhaps she had been stabbed, perhaps shot, perhaps blown in thousand pieces.

'Before I tell you that…I really want you to keep this secret. The last people I told me true identity were all killed because somebody found out or MI6 leaked. I told you because I thought it was only fair toward you to explain my…strange behavior.'

She nodded. 'I don't care how much I risk, Alex. I think I can watch myself if necessary.'

Alex understood. MI6 had always found out that Sabina and Tom knew, now, they were alone.

He looked around, nobody suspicious, nobody watched or listened to them.

He started to tell.

Okay, I'm always writing 'Please review' and I thank you for all the review I've got but I'm still unsatisfied when e.g. writing a 50,000fanfic and getting a one single one-liner review. Even if this story isn't that long, I need comments or I just don't see if anybody's interested in this story...