9.
The Irish national anthem blared out across the choir room becoming muffled as Santana hurriedly grabbed her phone out of her bag and stared in disbelief as her new ringtone proudly embarrassed the hell out of her.
"What the? Britt?"
Brittany snickered and shook her head. With a glare Santana looked over to Sugar who was finding Brad's new hair cut suddenly absolutely fascinating.
"Santana, put the phone away. We're in the middle of a glee club meeting."
The exasperation in Mr Schue's voice was noticeable and his flustered hair was a good indicator of his lack of patience after another long day spent battling Coach Sylvester's current attempt at world domination.
Santana held her palm up to Mr Schue's face indicating that he should shut the hell up.
"This wont take long," she explained. "What?" Santana snapped rudely into the phone.
The entire glee club unashamedly listened in on the intriguing half conversation she was having with some unknown, but presumably Irish, person.
"That is a complete lie. I did not. Who told you that?" She asked, and then without waiting for an answer. "Whoever it was is lying."
Her eyes narrowed and she scowled.
"Well, Sugar's lying then."
Everyone turned to look at Sugar who huffed and flounced down in in her chair.
"And anyway, I cant help where the waitress made us sit."
Brittany rubbed her thigh soothingly as the volume got louder.
"It was my favourite table and like you wouldn't have sat there if you had been there, which you weren't because you were too chicken!"
"Santana!"
Mr Schue caught her attention and then she noticed Rachel in the seat in front of her actually tutting. Who does that in real life? With a scowl she hissed down the phone.
"How did you even get this number?" Santana listened for a second and then hung up with an annoyed huff.
"Continue," she flicked her fingers at the room.
"First item on the agenda is-" Santana tuned out as Mr Schue burbled on.
"Who was that?" Brittany asked in a hushed voice her breath tickling Santana's ear.
"Your number one hot baby momma."
Brittany got a faraway look in her eye and giggled much to Quinn's disturbance who was sitting behind them and eavesdropping.
"And second-" Mr Schue was still droning on until a name caught their attention. "Sugar has a few words to say to us."
Brittany and Santana looked up with interest, Quinn looked up at them looking up. They were never interested in anything unless it involved sex or food so this was yet another alarm bell ringing in regards to her friends. The rest of the club appeared slightly wary, tinged with anticipation because Sugar was not known for being boring.
Rachel could be heard muttering to Kurt. "Is she going to sing?"
Kurt shrugged then jumped as Rachel yelped in his ear. Santana had viciously kicked the back of her chair and was now scowling at her until she settled down and shut up.
Sugar skipped up to the front of the room and beamed at the group. Brittany smiled back and Santana snorted as she noticed Sugar's smile falter as she glanced at Rory who looked away and inspected his shoes.
"What's going on there?" She leaned into Brittany and whispered.
"She dumped him last night. She told him she doesn't do long distance and her mom told her she cant have a sugar daddy."
"What? How do you know?"
"She told me."
"Why didn't she tell me?" Santana asked, offended. "And anyway, good. He's an appalling excuse for a human being."
"He's not that bad."
"Oh yeah," Santana folded her arms across her chest and sniffed. "Why don't you just go and marry him then?"
"Now you're just being silly. I'm going to marry you."
"Ahem!" Sugar cleared her throat loudly enough to interrupt the lover's quarrel and they both looked up to see the whole glee club staring at them. Now with their full attention, Sugar continued her speech with a wary eye on her one-day-to-be mothers.
"So, I just wanted to let you know that its been swell but the swelling's going down now."
Finn eyed her up and down looking for evidence of swollen body parts.
"After I single handedly save Regionals-" Sugar continued.
Rachel made a loud 'harumph' intending to interrupt but it soon turned into a faux cough as a hard placed kick to her seat and a stone cold glare from Brittany soon made her think twice.
Santana and Brittany both looked back to Sugar and nodded for her to continue.
"I'm going back home to live with my moms... mom... uh... mom. Yeah, I call her moms, it's just a thing."
Everyone looked a bit puzzled but didn't question it.
"So this weekend is the last time I'll see you guys for about, oh, eight years and even then I probably wont notice you. And yeah, so I wanted to sing you a song to remember me by until you meet me." She finished off with a giddy bounce on her heels and a somewhat shy grin.
Rachel squeaked but a sharp jab from a long finger to the back of her ribs made her keep her mouth shut and instead produced a painful force of air out of her ears. She was really beginning to wish she'd chosen to sit somewhere else that day.
"Wooo get it!" Brittany hollered in anticipation of a song.
Rory clapped and smiled at her and Mercedes laughed fondly at the younger girl. Santana, to her further distress, found herself swallowing a lump in her throat which had come out of nowhere.
"Hit it, band virgins!"
There was a slight pause, which could be interpreted as the bands way of protesting her comment, then Finn started hitting the beat and the music began. The guitars kicked in and everyone who had been dreading a song from Sugar sat up straighter and smiled at the song choice.
Brittany was the first one up pulling Santana with her to dance as Sugar's raspy voice rang out, surprisingly in tune for once and perfectly suited to the song. Mike and Tina followed shortly after and Puck jumped up and grabbed a guitar to join the band in playing 'Power of Love' by Huey Lewis and the News.
Quinn laughed as her friends pulled her up and made her dance with them, Kurt did this weird shoulder wiggle and Blaine of course was hopping around the room like a rabbit on speed.
Brad, who had been watching Santana and Brittany with his eyes squinted snapped out of his musings and cracked his knuckles before hitting the ivory.
After much jumping around and strutting, climbing all over the band geeks and air guitar the club sat down laughing and smiling.
"I just want to say I love you all and I'll see you in the future, deffo." She giggled as Brittany spun her around as she made her way past on her way back to her seat next to Santana. "Oh, and I want the solo for Regionals."
There was a hush and then Rachel, Mercedes, Kurt and Tina all started shouting about who should get the solo.
"I was under the impression it had already been decided I would be singing the solo," Rachel yelled.
Santana wrinkled her nose and let out a sigh at the uproar, until Brittany weighed in.
"Who died and made sure you get all the solos?" Brittany was asking Rachel.
Santana's eyes widened and she turned to watch her girlfriend mid confrontation.
"Let Sugar sing if she wants, she has as much right as anyone. That performance was awesome and she would rock a solo. Right, Santana?"
Santana sat frozen in a bubble of stunned silence. Uh oh. She blinked hard, noticing Sugar, Brittany and Quinn's eyes on her awaiting an answer. Oh shit, what was the right answer? Wait, she knew this one. It was a trap; there was only one right answer.
"Umm, yes?"
Oh crap.
"It's not like you to sit out of a fight about wanting a solo?" Quinn's raised eyebrow could pierce metal.
"I have too much awesome," Santana calmly explained. "I wouldn't want to blow Regionals off the face of the earth with my amazing talent. I will however be expecting a solo at Nationals."
Rachel was now incensed with indignation and round two of arguments kicked in.
Outside of the central vortex of the squabbling, the rest of the club carried on as though this were nothing out of the ordinary and got their gossip on.
"Did you hear about Breadstix?" Sam asked Mike who was trying not to watch as Tina nostrils flared at an obnoxious comment tossed her way by Rachel and then started talking so fast no one could keep up with her.
"What? What? What about it?" Santana's ears pricked up and she butted in on the conversation.
"That's funny, Santana. I thought you'd be first in the know," Sam chuckled then abruptly stopped at the look on her face. "Ahhhh, you don't know."
Puck leaned over and said conspiratorially, "I heard a wild bear broke in and wrecked the place."
"I heard they found mice," Rory unknowingly signed his death warrant.
Sam continued his explanation, eager to get all the information out as quickly as possible so he could get away from Santana who looked like she were about to combust.
"Pest control were doing a search for a ravenous wild beast and found something in the roof space that looked like asbestos. The place is temporarily shut."
"No, no, no-no-no-no-no-no-no NO!"
Santana's wail dampened everyone's fighting spirit and Brittany even stopped flicking Rachel's ear to comfort her.
Santana slumped on the hood of her car, her head in her hands only looking up when she heard a rust bucket pull up and stop next to her.
"What's happened?" Adult Santana leaned out of the window and looked her younger counterpart up and down with a critical eye. "You look like hell."
"Breadstix was closed after an inspection, we're waiting for more intel. Britts is following the local public health authority on twitter for updates. There's been nothing so far," Santana's hushed voice wavered with emotion.
"Oh that."
"What do you mean, 'oh that?'" Santana exclaimed, shocked at the blatant disregard as the future of Breadstix hung perilously in the balance. "Why aren't you more upset about it?"
"I dunno," Future Santana leaned back in her car seat and stared out the wind shield with a goofy smile on her face. "Maybe because I just had the greatest sex of my life on a baby grand piano and I don't really care about much else. Look, you said you wanted to talk about Sugar."
"But... I cant believe you're not taking this more seriously," Santana shook her head in disbelief. "It's like I don't even know you!"
"Santana, what about Sugar? Is she okay? I got out of bed for this so make it good."
"Yes, god. Yes she's fine. But Breadstix though... does your wife know you're acting this strange?"
"My wife," Adult Santana sighed, her eyes got a far away look to them and Santana took a step back in alarm when the woman in front of her let out an actual to fuck giggle. She snapped back to reality as she noticed her younger self staring at her with morbid fascination.
"What was the question? Oh yeah, my wife, who's still in bed waiting for me. I told her you had some kind of pimple emergency so hurry up."
Santana cleared her throat at the thought of super hot older Brittany naked in bed waiting for her under the satin sheets her hair all tousled and wait...that wasn't the question.
"Breadstix! That might have been the question. Wait, what? I do not have acne!" She slapped her hands onto the car door frame and leaned in to use the wing mirror. "Oh my god, you did not really tell her that I have acne. Call her now and tell her you were lying."
"You poor, deluded child. No. And I didn't say acne, I think I said... erupting facial pustules of goo or something like that."
Santana choked back a sob and then frantically ran her hands all over her face to check she wasn't zit ridden.
"You cold hearted bitch. How could you do that to me in front of Brittany? Call her right now!"
"Aww hell," Future Santana muttered. "This is going to take forever at this rate." She tilted the car mirror so the teenager could see her unblemished complexion was still unblemished and received a punch in the arm for her trouble.
"Now listen up, baby butt face. You seriously thought Lord Tubbers would lift a whisker to catch a mouse? Have you seen how pampered he is? He used to get more attention that I did, and if you tell Britt this I will ends you and deny everything, but I was secretly glad the day he did his vanishing act."
"He did catch a mouse! Britt saw mouse bones in his puke."
"Overshare! Whatever, and don't stick up for him. He probably stuffed himself on sticks then almost had a heart attack when a mouse came over to steal the crumbs then accidentally killed it by rolling over on top of it."
"You whatever!"
"We'll find another way, don't panic. It ain't over 'til the bulldozer smashes the door in."
Adult Santana put the key back in the ignition but Santana grabbed her hand stilling her movement before she could start the engine. "I really have to get back. Wouldn't you be in a hurry if naked Brittany was waiting for you?"
"I need to talk to you about Regionals, it's about Sugar."
That got Future Santana's attention and she reluctantly opened the passenger door for teenage Santana to get in as she began to explain.
"Sugar got talked out of a solo, more like shunted out by guess who, but then Britt almost bitch slapped Berry, it was so awesome, and got her a featured verse in the group number. There was blood shed and everything. Admittedly that was when Finn got elbowed in the nose in the scuffle, but who gives a shit about him?"
Adult Santana laughed at her enthusiasm. "Seriously, girl. You gots to put a ring on it. I'm telling you, best decision ever."
"No I mean, obviously that, but what I'm talking about is... I cant talk to Britt about this or Sugar or anyone. It'll have to be you."
"Thanks?"
"It's just that, Sugar, well... She cant really... sing."
There was a heavy silence and Future Santana's eyes seemed to bore into younger Santana's skull. The younger girl swallowed a lump in her throat, her tongue swiped her lips nervously and her hand began to move slowly towards the door handle.
"Now you listen to me, Santana mother-fucking-whipped-as-fuck-dumbass-teenager Lopez. If my daughter wants a featured solo in Regionals, she will damn well have one."
"She does damn well have one. Oh jeez, you're both like this, aren't you? Those kinds of moms."
"What?"
"Of the Pushy Showbiz variety."
"You're lucky I'm not going to slap you only because I might feel it too. If Sugar wants to sing, she will, and you'll be damn happy about it and supportive. In fact, you will be pretty much over fucking moon. Do you hear?"
"Uhh..."
"If you disappoint her in any way, if you make her think she's not good enough or cant do something she loves... I will fucking ends you. And if you repeat this to anyone I will kill you regardless of the effect it might have on me but... I know she's not the greatest singer, I'm not deaf, but she loves it and she has the time of her life performing. So here's what's going to happen. You will suck it up, put that cheerleading experience to good use and make sure she has one of the best times of her life, or by the record breaking girth of the once and future Lord Tubbington, rest his soul... Brittany will hear about this."
"That's mean."
"There are rules for this, Santana, for being a mom. There's a handbook."
"What? No there's not."
"There is. You get it when the kid is born."
"Where yours?"
"Psssh, at home. I don't carry them-it, around with me I don't even need them-it anymore."
"Whatever."
"I'll let you have a preview. The number one rule of being Sugar's mom is, to make sure your daughter is happy. The second rule of being Sugar's mom is, you do everything you can to make sure your daughter is happy."
"They're both the same thing."
"Good girl, you're catching on."
"So what you're threatening is, if Sugar wants to perform I should just support her and smack down any bitches who say otherwise."
"Got it in one, Hot Stuff."
Teenage Santana checked her appearance in the car mirror. "I'll do it on one condition. You go back and tell Brittany I don't have any acne at all. In fact, tell her my skin is smoother than my charm and you must have got your messages mixed up with a message from Quinn who was having a revenge of the bacon breakout. Tell her I am totally blemish free apart from that scar I got when she kissed me for the first time and I fell out of the tree in shock."
Future Santana raised an amused eyebrow. "Deal."
"And if she wants to kiss that scar better she knows where to find me."
"Just stop now while you're ahead. I might skip that part."