Chapter 8
I don't own any of these characters or storylines. This is just what I think needs to happen.
A couple hours later, in the early evening, Elliot opened his eyes after a brief nap. Olivia was nestled in beside him, still clutching his shirt. He gently stroked her back with his right hand, while his left hand caressed her brown locks. She looked so peaceful, and Elliot couldn't be more content holding her in his arms. But a gnawing guilt kept creeping in.
"I wish I could trust you Elliot. You haven't asked me one question about my life." Elliot was thinking back to their conversation outside the courthouse during Wheatley's trial. He kept thinking about all of the times Olivia had been there for him and his family since he came crashing back into her life, and upending everything for her. Elliot realized he was so caught up in his own grief over Kathy's death that he never considered the possibility of something so life-altering happening to Olivia while he was gone. He just always assumed she was fine. But that night, Olivia was trying to open up, begging him to ask questions, and he dismissed her. He tried to turn it around that she was only asking questions about Angela for a personal agenda. Elliot sat in complete shame. That was scary for me. Of course she was scared when I showed up unannounced, stoned out of my mind. Stabler, you are fucking idiot.
He had to do something to start building trust with her again. "Liv…hey…let's get up." Olivia slowly began to rouse, blinking her wide brown eyes open. "What time is it? How long have I been out?" Elliot helped her sit upright, and lovingly stroked her hair into place. He could tell she was still burdened with her memories, so he placed his hand supportively on her lower back. "A little while. Are you hungry? Wanna eat something and relax for the rest of the night?" Olivia bit down on her lip, and put her head on Elliot's shoulder. "I'd like to finish telling you about Lewis, but let's grab a quick bite first?"
A little while later, Elliot and Olivia were talking and laughing lightly about a myriad of topics. Elliot was determined to lighten the mood at least for a short while. Elliot was laying on all the charms trying to entertain and distract Olivia. Her smile is all that he needed to see…all he ever wanted to see. Together they made some simple pasta and a salad, partnered with a nice red wine. Elliot was relishing sitting and enjoying a meal with Olivia. For a brief moment, she seemed to be removed from the heaviness of her memories.
As they wrapped up dinner, an uncomfortable silence began gripping the room. Olivia started to fidget, picking at her fingers while keeping her head bowed down. Elliot took her hand while lifting her chin with his other hand. He held her gaze, as tears began to well up in Olivia's eyes. "Are you sure you want to continue with this tonight? I think you could use some rest." Olivia grasped Elliot's hand and shook her head. "El…I'd really like to finish this now and put it behind us. I know it's a lot, but I think you need to understand everything." Elliot nodded, and they retreated back to the living room with their wine glasses. Olivia sat stoic in the arm chair, while Elliot took his spot on the couch. Their eyes were focused on each other, and Elliot felt an overwhelming darkness radiating from Olivia's soul.
"Four months after the trial, I was heading into work, and I received a video call from an unknown number. When I answered, Lewis' face popped. He was driving a car, and said 'Morning sunshine. I've missed you', and then hung up. That is when all hell broke loose around the city. Almost immediately, we learned Lewis faked a seizure at Rikers and was rushed to Bellevue. While there, he somehow got ahold of an officer's gun, and killed him. Lewis then raped a nurse and left her hanging by her arms in a closet. He took her car, and tracked down a doctor that had treated him. He went to her home, and killed her, and raped and tortured her teenage daughter…who they also found hanging in her closet." Elliot sat in silence, hanging on Olivia's every word. His breathing became labored from the anxiety of the anticipation of what was coming next.
Olivia sucked in a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling slowly. "The worst part is that he kidnapped the doctor's 12 year old daughter." Knowing Olivia so well, Elliot was starting to figure out where this might be going. "Once we knew the girl was missing, the search took on a much different tone. Lewis started taunting me, and eventually said he would release the girl if I went on TV and told the truth…about the lie I told in court about beating him." Elliot (thought he) knew what a little girl being in the hands of that sadistic bastard would do to Olivia. He (thought he) knew the lengths she would go to save the little girl.
"I went against our lieutenant's orders, and I went on TV and admitted I lied." Elliot shook his head, "Liv. Why?" Olivia continued on. "It quickly became clear that Lewis played me on that, and he didn't give up the girl after my statement." Olivia continued explaining how she was being trailed by protective detail when Lewis reached out to her with the photo/text of Amelia. Elliot hung breathlessly on her every word.
As Olivia got closer to finishing, she started to get more and more anxious, and Elliot noticed right away. "You okay Liv? Do you need a break? Olivia shook her head, and let him know that she wanted to get through this. "Elliot, I want to make sure that you are doing okay hearing all of this before I continue." He gave her a very confused look. "I'm okay. I mean, I hate hearing all of this, and I personally want to go to Rikers and beat the shit out of William Lewis, but that's normally for me, so I'm doing okay." He smiled small trying to lighten their conversation.
Olivia gave a small grin and took in a deep breath, and an extended exhale. "After I got the text message, I left my protective detail and met up with Lewis."
"On your own Liv? No backup? Why?"
"Because I knew if anyone came with me, Lewis would have most likely killed them, and then probably would have killed Amelia, and eventually me. I had to do what I did." Olivia stood up and nervously made her way over to the TV. She slowly rubbed her finger across the top of the screen, and then turned to look at Elliot while resting gently against the credenza. "Lewis took my vest and radio, and discarded my cell phone. He handcuffed me again to the backseat of his car. He drove us to the grain terminal in Red Hook, which is where he had Amelia tied up." Olivia closed her eyes and slightly lowered her head, staring at her hands as they fidgeted together. "When we got to Amelia, Lewis handcuffed me to a table, and duct taped my ankles to the legs of the table." The familiar nausea began to billow up in Elliot again, and his breathing began to elevate.
Olivia crossed over to Elliot, and took a seat again on the coffee table. Their eyes locked in on each other. "Lewis got behind me and began groping me. He undid his pants, and started to undo mine." Elliot started seeing red…his elevated breath becoming more obvious. Olivia placed her hands on Elliot's knees, encouraging him to calm down. "Lewis got off on the struggle, as most rapists do. So as he started to assault me, I decided to not fight back." Elliot's eyes welled up with tears. Olivia tapped gently on his knees. "Because I wasn't giving him any resistance, he gave up. And through it all, I kept telling Amelia to turn away. I didn't want her to witness that." Elliot grabbed on to Olivia's hands, and shook his head…humbled with how amazing she was in a crisis. Her concern for that little girl when she herself was about to be raped blew him away. God…I love this woman is all Elliot could think to himself.
Olivia released Elliot's hands, and sat upright. "After Lewis gave up, he decided on a new tactic. He took my gun, and pulled out his revolver and removed all but one bullet." Elliot let out an audible gasp as tears began falling down his cheeks while he slowly shook his head. "No Liv…don't tell me that." Olivia continued in a very monotonous voice. "He forced me to play Russian Roulette with him while he taunted the crew that was searching for me over the radio. I told Amelia to look away again. He offered to take the first turn. It was empty. He then passed the gun to me and I had to put it to my head because he kept my gun on Amelia. The first try was empty for me as well." Elliot let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding in.
"We did another round, and both times the barrel was empty. Then, Lewis held the gun to his head again and pulled the trigger. It was game over for me with the empty click on Lewis' final turn." Elliot's brain turned to mush, even though he knew Olivia obviously survived. "Lewis came over to me and stood to my right. He switched the gun to his left hand, and positioned himself next to me so the angle mimicked where it would have been if I shot him. He pulled the trigger…and there was blood everywhere." Elliot grabbed Olivia's shaking hands and brought them to his mouth. He pressed his lips to her knuckles, and never wanted to let go. Tears began to flow from both of their eyes, their bodies convulsing together. With every agonizing detail, Elliot's core burned with anger, revenge, and guilt. All while he battled himself with feeling like a complete failure protecting Olivia.
"Liv…I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry. I had no idea. My God…I could have lost you forever." Olivia rested her head on the Elliot's, trying her best to comfort him. "I'm here Elliot. I survived." Olivia threw her arms around Elliot, and brought him to her chest and used her steady breath to help calm him down while stroking the back of his head. "It's okay Elliot. I'm okay."
Without letting go, Olivia moved to the couch, and brought Elliot against her chest. "Calm down Elliot. Calm Down." Elliot sat up, and cradled Olivia's face in his hands. "Liv…you are the strongest woman I've ever known. I'm so in love with you, and I know I'll never be worthy of you." Olivia placed her hands on Elliot's waist. "El…I love you. I'm IN love with you." Elliot brought their foreheads together while tears streamed down from both their eyes. How and why she can forgive me, and more amazingly, want to be WITH me, is still one of the greatest miracles in my life.
After they both were cried out late in the evening, they found themselves lying on the couch…Olivia pressed against Elliot's chest, while he calmly stroked her hair. "How you doin' El?" Elliot kissed the top of her head, and pulled closer. "I don't even know what to say. I should have been here. I should have protected you from him. I'll never forgive myself, but I'm thanking every God in the universe that you are here with me right now." Olivia lifted herself slightly, and placed a gentle kiss on Elliot's lips. "El…I'm so happy you are here now. And maybe that's why this has been so awkward. We aren't the same people we were 12 years ago. We don't really know each other anymore. I'm not the same woman and you aren't the same man." A tear fell from Elliot's blue eyes while he slowly nodded in agreement. "But…I'd like to get to know you now, El. And I hope you still want to get to know this version of me."
Elliot wrapped his hand around Olivia's neck and pulled her in for a long, slow, passionate kiss. "Olivia…I want to know every version of you. I want to explore every inch of you if you'll still have me." Olivia stood up and extended her hand, which Elliot gratefully accepted. He stood up and wrapped his arms around Olivia and brought her in for another kiss. Olivia pulled back, and slowly began pulling Elliot down the hall to the bedroom. "Let's get to know each other, El." A goofy, grateful smile crossed Elliot's face. "Nice to meet you Olivia Benson." "Nice to meet you Elliot Stabler."