Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, promise.

Deidara was in the bathroom when Sakura woke up, probably fussing over his hair. But it didn't help that Hidan had clogged up the other bathroom with hair from his back and that Kisame and Itachi were using the down stairs one. You'd think Pein would get a bathroom for women in the lair that they moved into, considering that Hidan was known for just randomly busting into the bathroom. Or atleast a lair with more bathrooms. The Akatsuki had at least ten members and three bathrooms just wasn't cutting it.

Sakura knocked on the door, rubbing her dark ringed eyes and yelling for him to get the fuck out of the bathroom before she slit his throat. Okay, maybe she had been around Hidan too long. She had barely gotten sleep last night after beating the shit out of Hidan and cutting him with glass, though, could you blame her for being a little pissy? A girl needs her beauty rest.

"Hurry up!"

"I'm busy, Uhn!"

"Doing what?"

"My hair, yeah."

Sakura karate-kicked open the door to a surprised Deidara, who stood in a short, frilly and purple cock-tail dress. And you know, if she really didn't have to piss, she might have taken a few minutes to laugh at him. No one had thought he would actually wear the dress. But as Sakura kicked him out of the bathroom and did her business..she began to think about Deidara, and his frilly little dress. Where did he get it? Because it certainly wasn't one of hers.

She flushed the toilet and walked out of the bathroom and sighed ever so gently, fixing her cloak around her sides as she made her way down the hallway. She ran into Kisame and Itachi, however, and watched Itachi sipping out of a warm coffee cup in his hand. There was a moment of blank silence, before she smiled deviously at Kisame, wanting to get him back for all those mornings he'd woken her up in his own 'special' way. Naked, and in her own bed.

"So.. How's the sex?" Sakura uttered casually.

Itachi spit steaming hot coffee all over Kisame and she ran off laughing hysterically, almost falling down the stairs as she ran from the two angry S-rank criminals. Aah..this was just so much fun. Deidara was downstairs trying to get his dough-nut from Tobi, who had put his mask on upside down and was trying to eat the donut through his mask while laughing at Deidara's dress. He was so clueless sometimes..

The medic walked over and tugged off Tobi's mask, putting it on right side up and grabbed the baked treat, shoving the dough-nut in Deidara's mouth before walking by them and off into the infirmary. She was betting that if Kakuzu hadn't stitched Hidan up, that he would come down and come see her to get fixed up. And she was right, actually. He was sitting on one of the tables already (With clothes, thank god) But getting stitched up wasn't what he was interested in.

"Can you get something off my ass?"

A pink eyebrow was raised rather curiously at that.

"What's with you and your ass?"

"My ass is sexy."

"Riiight.. so..What's on your ass?"

"A tattoo. I want it gone."

"Err..we don't have the equipment though."

"Just cut the skin off my ass cheek then."

She kinda looked at Hidan funny, before picking up a bloodied scalpel and washing it in the sink. Hell, if he wanted someone to cut him she wasn't going to complain. She was still a bit pissed from his previous actions the night before.

"Lay down then."

And when she turned around he was naked. Again. For the billionth time that week.

"How the fuck do you take your clothes off so fast?

"I don't wear a fuckin' shirt or boxers. Just pants and my cloak."

"That's just..great Hidan."

Sakura was sorry she had even asked, she just felt bad for the person who did his laundry. She edged towards his ass after he flipped over on the operating table to reveal his ass, which was in fact rather nice aside from his tattoos. Closer and closer, closer and closer until.. the infirmary door swung open and there stood Deidara, a fork stuck in his arm! Sakura yelped at the intrusion, and her slipped, stabbing Hidan in the ass instead of just cutting the skin.

"Son of a BITCH!"

Hidan jumped off the table and ran right out the double doors while Deidara screamed, ripping the fork out of his arm and running off as well, his dress bouncing around him like a proper ladies might.

"I only wanted a band aid!"

This time Sakura didn't just mentally slap herself. She really did slap herself. These guys were just..fucking stupid.

Sakura stepped from the room after washing her bloodied hands, and walked off into the living room to see Hidan bending over backwards, scratching at his ass, trying to pull the scalpel out of it.

"Do you see what you fucking did to me! You marred my beautiful ass!"

Indeed, she had marred his beautiful ass and she was sorry for it. But she only looked at him and shrugged before walking out the door and outside. It's not like she really, really gave a damn anyway. She could just look at Deidara's ass if she wanted an ass too look at.

She decided to spend hr afternoon in the garden, Zetsu did such a good job taking care of it. All the flowers bloomed so well, but she figured that was the normal outcome of spending most of your life tending to a garden. Of course it'll be beautiful. Oh, and did she mention that it was a huge garden? It normally took her hours to find Zetsu in the garden, if she was really looking for him. But today, let's just say that she found Zetsu very fast, and when she did, she lost him even faster than she had found him.

Two words, Flower sex.