Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, I own you.
The morning was shining, the flowers blooming, Tobi screaming on the lawn like a lunatic. A beautiful, normal morning. Where nothing was wrong. Nothing. Nothing at all.
Not.
She'd already woken up to see the kitten being chased by Hidan, Kakuzu throwing a fit about the electric bill, Zetsu eating the mail man, Tobi rolling around on the lawn screaming while Deidara blew up cars and worst of all..
The television.
Her practical god, the only thing that saved her fellow members sorry asses from being killed by the hormonal woman..
Was gone.
Only little pieces survived, and chunks of wire. She could only think that Deidara did it. He had the explosive powers, right? But it could have been Hidan too.. Deidara loved to watch Rachael Ray with Sakura at mid-day. Hidan bitched about the TV all the time.
Sakura picked up her dropped bowl of cheerios that she had been planning to eat while watching her morning programs, and made her way to the laundry room where Hidan was trying to catch the kitten that had shit in his bed.
"You little fucker!"
He was jabbing through sheets of bedding and Itachi's clothing with his scythe, randomly throwing around baskets and yelling. Who knew that chaos could be created by one man?
She dived into the room and grabbed the kitten, who had stuffed itself in-between the washer and dryer and was pitifully mewling to get away from Hidan.
"Hidan, what the hell did you do to my television!"
"I didn't do shit." He turned around and rested his hands on his hips, narrowing his purple eyes at the short pinkette."Kakuzu would bitch at me for the expense and make me pay it. I like my hooker money, thank you."
Sakura took that moment to realize he actually had put his cloak on, a rare occasion which meant he either had a date, was going out on a mission."Oh my god..your not naked."
He raised a white eyebrow at me and his hands slid down to his sides.
"What?"
"Your not naked?" She threw her hands over her head in a moment of hysteria, dropping the kitten which ran of to Itachi's room, freaking out Hidan completely.
"Yeah. So fuckin' what?"
"Your always naked."
"I have a date."
Thought so. He never got dressed otherwise.
"Well..whats his name?"
"Her name is Sarah- What?"
She ran off like hell, waiting for the fire she had just started to go off. Sakura dashed through the base like a fire cracker, jumping outside a lower floor window, and tripping over Tobi which shot off a special line of curses that Sakura had specially saved for the orange masked tard.
"Hellloooo Sakura-chan!"
She got up and brushed off her cloak, to look down at Tobi sprawled out on the grass.
"Tobi thinks that Deidara-Senpai's explosions are pretty."
"Do you know if Deidara exploded my television, Tobi-Kun?" I smiled sweetly.
"Nooo! Deidara just exploded Kakuzu's car. And the microwave..And Itachi's dresser.."
She rubbed her cheek, thinking as Tobi rambled on about what Deidara blew up today.
"..And then he blew up Kisame's smelly fishing pants. But not the TV! Deidara likes to watch his cooking shows!"
She nodded her head in agreement to that.
"Do you know who did?"
"Tobi dunno."
Sakura sighed and walked off, leaving them to blow up more crap that she didn't care about. Except if it was the television. Then she did care.. But Tobi already said that Deidara didn't.
It was time to consult Kakuzu about buying a new television, it seemed.
Slowly, and angrily Sakura made her way up the stairs, anger building deep down inside her stomach, only to run into Pain on the stairs.
"Do you know what happened to the television, Pain?" Sakura asked softly, sure that he wouldn't possibly know what it's fate had been. He was the Leader, not the television guy.
"Yeah. I smashed it with my hammer."
"Why?" Sakura snapped.
"Kisame ordered finding Nemo and was jacking off to it and hid the remote."
She looked at him blankly for about two seconds and then decided that she would whoop his ass. Fuck the thought that he was leader, he could go to hell.
"Buy me a new television!"
Her hands gripped into his orange hair, and slammed his head down into her knee, knocking him over.
"It-t's..t-to..expen-s-iv-"
Wrong answer, and she whammed her fist into his face, and snatched his wallet, before walking back down the stairs with a bit of attitude in her step. It was sort of sad, if you thought about it, considering that thousands of people had tried and couldn't even put a mark on Pain. She had broken his nose in about three minutes. But this just proved the fact that you shouldn't fuck with a woman's soaps.
"C'mon Kakuzu. I need you to talk the Best Buy guys into lowering the price." She said, a little too cheerily to the old man. Desperate House Wives was on at eight, and she just needed to know what happened to Bree and her new hot sexy boyfriend.