Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"Good morning Cherry blossom and all the dreams that inhabit her pink little head!"

Kisame threw the blinds open into Sakura's room, the light blinding her eyes.

"Sleeppp..nnggh..noo...ngggggh...go Kisameee.."

"Oh but Cherry Blossom.."

She felt his warm breath on her neck, smelling a bit like the fresh air from the sea, and she kept her eyes closed, attempting to roll over in her bed and ignore him.

"How can I leave you alone when we had sex last night?"

"Mm..go aw- wait. What!"

She was up and out of that bed faster than a dead man cums, Kisame's rumbling laughter following her like a ghost. She hated when she slept in too late. All those fucks always came up with ideas to ruin her nice sleep, and her nice little dreams. She was sick of it..So sick.. They always fucked up a good night.

That was when she thought up a plan, running around the house like a madwoman, just to cause a scene.

Oh Kisame would pay for all the mornings he'd messed up her lovely sleep..Oh how he'd pay.

"G'mornin'.." Pain mumbled as she ran past him, head buried in his newspaper. Quickly grabbed a bowl of fruit loops from the counter and dashed into the front yard, mumbling a subdued hello to Pain. You see, She was trying to learn how to turn these things against that blue faced fuck. She had made it halfway across the yard, pondering lightly on why she never saw Konan outside of Pain's office when a rather big something stopped her.

"Hello Sakura-Chan!"

She skidded to a stop, clad in pajamas with crazed eyes and one hand in the cereal box to see Zetsu was cheerily sitting in the yard at her feet, criss-cross, in what looked like a meditating stance. I noticed he didn't have his flytrap on, and he actually looked sort of like a normal person.

"Hellllo Zetsu!"

Sakura had to make herself look believable to turn Kisame's tricks back on himself though, so no time to ask about where it went.

"What's wrong with you, You sound drunk."

"You look kinda fucked up too."

"That's not nice, Zetsu."

"Apologies."

"I did something baddd."

"What's new? Your in an evil organization, kid."

"Reallly baddd.."

The white side raised a green eyebrow at the woman, baited.

"Like what?"

She inwardly smiled. She had got him interested. Perfect.

"Last night.." She faked sobbed, putting a little hysterics in her words. "I slept with someone."

"Who?"

"I-I.." She looked down, trying her best to look discouraged, and stay silent. Yes, all those shows she had watched about teenage mothers had payed off!

"Aw. Well..All We know is it wasn't us!"

"Yeah. We don't have human reproductive organs."

Her eye twitched, ever so slighly at the memory of Zetsu making out with a sunflower, and she slightly scooted away from him, just a bit repulsed.

"I just feel so horrible!"

"Well. Atleast your not pregnant."

She kept silent, trying so hard not to giggle and sound solem when she spoke back to the green, white and black man.

"..."

"You aren't. Right?"

"..." She still was silent, making him think she was pregnant without saying anything.

"Your fucked."

"Hush, Zetsu. I got pregnant once."

Okay, Sakura couldn't help but drop the act for a split second and look at Zetsu strangely at that piece of information.

"Plants don't have sexes, Sakura."

Okay..She knew that. She totally wasn't just thinking he was a transvestite..

"Oh..Uhmm.."

"Who was it with though, Sakura-Chan?"

The screen door slammed, signaling that someone had come outside. Immediately she saw that it was Kisame, Itachi and Deidara. All laughing over something, probably this mornings incident.

"It was Kisame!" She yelped, pointing at the tall blue man.

An awkward silence ensued, The three newcomers confused and Zetsu, staring at her like she was insane. She grabbed a handful of fruit loops out of the cereal box and shoved them in her mouth, munching kind of crazily to prove his point.

"What the hell, Uhn?"

Kisame looked at Sakura, mouth alightly agape as he grasped the situation.

"I slept with Kisame and now I'm pregnant!"

Automatically Itachi's sharingan flashed, his dark eyes turning red.

"I don't see another chakra inside of you Sakura."

Shit. She couldn't let that Uchiha fuck ruin this.

"Babies don't have chakra this early! I'm a medic, I should know!" Sakura sputtered, and Deidara and Itachi looked back at Kisame.

"Uhh.."

His mouth was still open slightly, and he stayed like that for only a moment longer before it curved in a sharp toothed smile. He stalked his way over to the woman and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as if she were a prize, grinning foolishly.

"Yep, I did her. Didn't know the condom broke though. I am a little rough."

Now it was Sakura's turned to be freaked out. She hadn't expected this.

"Well then.." Itachi just kind of stood there, eyes shifting back and forth between me and Kisame.

"Uhn.." Deidara looked..just messed up.

And Zetsu was farther away than she remembered, all the way across the yard, meditating again.

"So..what are you gunna do with the baby.."

Kisame's grin got wider.

"Keep it, you know. Be a shark daddy."

Sakura glared up at the damned man, glaring at him for going along with it and not freaking out. This was my revenge! But he just flashed his white teeth at me competively, saying something close too 'You can't out do me, Sakura.' with his smile.

"Uhn.."

Itachi patted Deidara on the back, who was still in a bit of a shock and could only say 'Uhn' while looking at Kisame, eye twitching slightly.

"Well. I think me and Sakura need to talk, So bye then!" Kisame picked Sakura up and threw her over his broad shoulder, leaving her breathless and still shell-shocked enough to stay quiet. He took the little pinkette into her room and dropped her on the bed, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. Now the smile was gone.

"What the hell, Sakura. You know we didn't really do it."

And now she was back in control.

Smiling, she put her arms behind her head.

"Maybe we did. You told me that this morning, didn't you?"

"Does finding Nemo porn not mean anything to you?"

"..Thankfully no, Kisame."

Gross.

"Hmph."

Sakura rubbed her belly in soft little circles, teasing him. "I think it kicked Kisame."

Kisame didn't seem very amused, her stance looking more angry and opposing than usual.

"Well. Since this has become a little game."

He got up from his stance against the wall and walked out of the room, grabbing her small little wrist.

"Let's go tell Pein." He snapped.

Oh shit.

She tried to stop him, tugging, pushing, everything anyone could to do a strong man who towered over you. Which actually wasn't much, she found. His Samahade was eating away her chakra faster than she could recooperate, she couldn't even hit him.

"Kisame. What the fuck are you doing to Sakura?"

Hidan sat in the living room as they passed through, cup of coffee in one hand and dango in the other.

"Oh. Going to see Leader."

Kisame shrugged casually, and began walking towards the room he was in before Hidan said something again.

"What did she fuckin' do? Eat your cheerios?"

"Nope. Shes pregnant."

The pair turned to see Hidan spitting coffee all over the couch.

"For who?"

"Me." Kisame rumbled, and Sakura cringed. How far was he gunna take this?

"What..the..hell.."

That seemed to be everyone's favorite sentence today to describe her situation.

"Well, Bye!"

We got closer and closer to Pain's office only to find that he'd gone out from Konan. Sakura felt dizzy after that, and what happened next was a blur. But she remember waking up in her bed again, and it was like the whole joke going back on the poor girl was just a dream. Until she turned over onto a shirtless Kisame, that is.

"Hello Cherry Blossom. Hows' the baby?"

Yeah. Fuck winning.

She ran like hell out of her own room, again, leaving a Kisame who was laughing even harder than the first time. She practically screamed all the details out to the whole base, making sure everyone knew she wasn't really pregnant... but as night fell, tears from the rejected Kisame could only be heard by the night owls who 'whoed' in the distance.

"..I just wanted some lovin'."