Chapter Eleven

I didn't say anything when I walked back up to the room, but I had arranged with the man who ran the museum side of things, for us go in at seven o'clock tomorrow morning, he said he wouldn't normally do this, but he could see why I wanted to do this. "So," I said, sometime later. "What are we going to have for dinner,"
"I'm not that hungry to be honest," said Jack,
"I know this weekend is going to be hard, but you have to eat guys," I said. "Why don't we go out to a diner or something,"
"Fine," said Dylan. "But don't expect us to eat much," We decided on a small diner not far from the hotel, I had a chicken salad, which was very nice. They had burgers with fries, and ate very slowly, but I was glad they were eating something.

Back at the hotel, I got a shower and brushed my teeth etc, and climbed into the bed, bumping my head on the ceiling. "Fuck," I grumbled.
"You okay there Rach," said Cam they'd all gotten into bed before me.
"Never better," I said. "Oh I need you guys to be up early tomorrow,"
"Why," said Dylan.
"We're going to Ground Zero," I said.
"What," they all said at once.
"You can be angry with me all you want," I said, "But, I thought you would rather go when it's quiet and there aren't as many people around, the man I spoke with said we could go anytime after seven, officially it opens at nine, if you don't want to go it's fine, but I think you need to do this,"

"Okay," said Jack very quietly, "I guess you're right,"
"I'm sorry, I know this is going to be tough," I said.
"It's okay," said Cam.
"You're going to be there right," said Dylan.
"Of course," I said. "As your honorary sister, it is my duty to support you,"
"Okay," said Cam, "Can we go to sleep now because if we have to get up early we'll need it,"
"I was just about to suggest that," I said. "Goodnight everyone,"
"Goodnight Rach," they said. I lay awake for a while, making sure they were asleep before going to sleep myself, once I'd set the alarm for six am, I hoped that in the long run this would be a good thing.

I woke up half an hour or so before my alarm, and decided to go and have a cup of tea. I noticed Jack was not in his bed, so I guessed he was up too. I walked out of the room quietly and into the living area. Jack was sat on the couch looking out at the city, the window was opened slightly letting some fresh air in, and also the sounds of the city waking up. "Hey," I said softly. He jumped a little, and turned around, I saw tearstains on his cheeks. I immediately forgot everything else and went and sat next to him. "How long have you been up," he placed his hand in mine and I squeezed it gently in support.
"I had a bad dream," he said quietly, looking down at his lap. "I was trapped in the south tower and I wanted to get out to you guys, I could hear screaming and then the sound of the tower crumbling away, and as it started to collapse I woke up,"

"Oh Jack," I reached up and wiped a tear that had started falling, "This isn't the first time you've had one of these dreams is it," I said. He shook his head.
"I've been having them ever since the attacks, but they're always more often around this time of year,"
"Do Dylan or Cam know," I said.
"I told them when I had the first one," he said. "But they haven't mentioned it since,"
"You should tell them," I said.
"I can't," he said as his voice cracked. "They have enough to deal with,"
"Yes you can," I said, "They are your brothers and they love you," I put my arms around him as he began crying, I also cried a little, it hurt me to see them upset, they're my brothers and I love them so much.

We pulled apart when I heard my alarm going off in the other room. "I better go and turn that off," I said. "You gonna be okay,"
"As okay as I can be this weekend," he said. I nodded accepting that answer, and walked to the bedroom to turn my alarm off.
"Is it morning already," mumbled Cam.
"Yes," I said.
"Where's Jack," said Dylan.
"He's in the living room," I said. "He woke up early and we've been talking,"
"You okay," said Cam.
"I just get upset when you guys are upset," I said. "I'm fine,"

Cam hugged me and Dylan gave a sad smile, "Jack okay," he said.
"I hope so," I said. "But he may need to talk to you guys too," I grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to get a shower, once I'd done that I walked into the living area, and looked out at the city, as they went and got ready. It was beautiful, and I couldn't wait to one day perform here. By the time they were done it was quarter to seven, "So," I said. "Do you still want to go,"
"Would we have gotten up this early if we didn't," said Jack.
"I guess not," I said. "Well according to the map on my phone we're only about a ten minute walk,"
"Okay," said Cam. "Lead the way,"

We quietly made our way out of the hotel so as not to wake anybody, and out onto the streets. It was a little cold and I was glad I'd brought my jacket with me. We stopped off at Starbucks on the way, I had a hot chocolate since I wasn't overly keen on coffee. It didn't take long for us to arrive I saw a man waiting for us at the museum, "Are you Mr Little," I said.
"Yes," he said. "You must be Rachel," I nodded.
"You guys take all the time you need," he said. "You don't have to pay," he left us alone and we walked into the museum.

It was very quiet, there was no noise at all, but it was peaceful all the same. When we got to the part that was showing the events of the day, I watched in horror, even though I had of course seen it, it is still something that I simply couldn't comprehend, I held onto their hands as we watched the videos knowing that words were not enough. Once they'd finished we walked towards where there were pictures of the victims, and information about their lives. We found the picture of their father, it mentioned he left behind his beloved wife, and three sons.

We reached the part of the museum where there were various things, part of the debris, hats from police departments all over the world, it was touching to see how this had not only affected America but also the entire world, I also knew there had been many British victims and other nationalities too. We eventually came back outside, and walked around the huge spaces where the towers once stood. We looked at all the names on the North Tower and then the one's on the South, which was the one their father was in and finally we found his name 'Andrew Mackenzie'engraved alongside the others.

I saw Dylan reach out and touch his name with a shaking hand, I walked towards him and put my hand on his, and he let out a sob I think he'd been holding in for a while. I didn't think anymore about it, I just wrapped my arms around him and held him close, as ten years worth of grief came to the surface, his knees buckled and so I guided us so we were sitting on the floor. I reached out to Jack and Cam who were equally as upset and they joined us. It truly was the most heartbreaking moment of my life.