If You Only Knew Chapter 6: Clearing Things Up, a twilight fanfic

.:IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE:.

Many of you may have noticed that I haven't responded to your questions via review reply/PM.

I decided to make this a lot more fun-the answers to ALL(at least I thought I got most of them) of your questions can be found in this chapter.

So go searching for 'em, people!

.:Disclaimer:. i don't own any of the twilight characters

.:SPECIAL THANKS:. I especially wanted to thank the following people for pointing out stuff that's confusing people. I don't have a beta(I might be getting one in the future, if this story is read by a lot of people), so I forgot to point out some important information which I assumed readers might already know. So, thanks to: goldencrimson13 | luluxox | daddiesdarlingangel | awesome4evah

BPOV

Ah…it's getting to my favorite time of the day! I love the time Edward and I spend with Ryan every day after work. I decided to order something special today, and spotted a new Chinese restaurant a few days ago, so I went in to order take-out. We both love Chinese, and I wonder if Ryan would like it too?

After retrieving my order, I headed back home. When I opened the door, I could hear Edward and Ryan's voices floating from the living room. It feels kind of weird, coming back home to find Edward already at my place, it feels like we're a…...family? Stop right there, Bella Swan! Don't even think about going there!

I announced happily to the boys, "Guys! I'm home!" I'm not sure if they heard it, since I heard Ryan make a loud "Vvroomm!" sound at the same time.

I followed their voices and paused in the entry of the living room. I could see Edward crawling around with a little matchbox car under his hand, and Ryan was chasing him on fours closely behind. That's when short legs come in handy, Edward! I thought to myself, since I could see Edward was clearly in an uncomfortable position.

Just as Ryan was catching up to Edward, I saw everything happening in slow motion.

"Dada!"

I could see Edward whip his head around to look at Ryan, a look of surprise and amazement crossed Edward's face. He must have noticed my feet, since I was standing behind Ryan. He slowly looked upward.

Our gazes caught each other's.

I turned my head around swiftly, determined not to let him see the tears that were threatening to pool over. I walked quickly to my bedroom, and closed the door behind me.

"Bella!" I could hear him on the other side of the door. "I'm sorry! I didn't know he could…." He trailed off. I composed myself, though I could still see my hands shaking from the drama that happened thirty seconds ago. I really hope my voice doesn't sound so shaky. I opened my mouth.

But nothing came out.

I took a few deep breaths, and cleared my throat. I tried again, "I'm fine. I've got to change, I'll be right out."

Finally, I heard footsteps walking away, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I slumped against the door. It's not that I'm sad Ryan said "Dada" instead of "Mama", ok, maybe a little bit, but it doesn't matter that much. It just reminded me that Ryan doesn't have a daddy, and when he said those words today, the truth hit me right in the face. I might not be his real mom, but at least I could take on the role of his mom for now. But who would take on the father figure for him? He needs a guy to look up to; Ryan's a boy after all. Somebody to play catch with him, somebody to give him piggy-back rides, somebody to talk to when he has "guy problems".

I slapped my forehead. Great, another problem just turned up. How could I have not noticed after all these weeks?

I dragged myself to my closet, looking for something comfortable to change into. I pulled out black shorts and an old yellow T-shirt. I stepped into the bathroom to wash my face. After cleaning myself up, I looked into the mirror to see my eyes weren't as puffy as I thought.

Then, I walked out of my safe coven, and towards the kitchen.

xXx

"So Ryan, I think Mommy bought noodles for you, would you like that?" I heard Edward asking Ryan as he was looking through the paper bags. Ryan responded by banging his spoon on the table.

I halted my steps before I stepped into the kitchen.

The problem wasn't a problem at all. The answer was staring right at me in the face all along—

Edward.

Before I had time to think about anything else, Edward turned around and saw me. His eyes seemed to be asking me a question—Are you alright? I nodded my head in return, and put on a bright smile as I headed toward Ryan.

"Hey, little guy." I ruffled his hair. Ryan held both of his arms high in the air. I picked him up from his high chair to give him the hug he asked for. "So what's dada choosing for you?" I tried to make my face look as natural as possible when saying the 'd' word. I looked up at Edward after finishing my sentence.

He gaped at me, and the chopsticks he was using stopped in mid-air. The noodles he finally succeeded getting between the chopsticks ended up on the floor.

Ryan giggled at Edward's expression. I simply chuckled. Our noise seemed to have pulled Edward back to reality.

"I figured between fried rice and noodles, it would be easier for Ryan to have noodles since it's softer." He finally answered.

"That's what I thought too." I said as I put Ryan back in his seat.

We carried on a light conversation over dinner, with Ryan adding background music for us. He was either saying "ah" or making weird noises as if he was trying to have a conversation as well. When we finished, Edward and I both cleaned up the table, as I was washing the cartons with water, Edward pulled me aside and asked quietly, "Talk later?"

"After Ryan is asleep." I said firmly. I wasn't afraid of Ryan listening, he probably wouldn't understand anyway. I just wanted to make sure Edward had my full attention, and I had his, too.

"Besides, it was probably just a coincidence he got the word to come out right." He muttered under his breath. I knew it probably wasn't for my ears, but I still heard it.

"Come on, Ryan. Let's play for a bit, I haven't spent time with you today, sweetie." I held Ryan's little hand while we all walked very slowly to the living room. This time, we added stuffed animals to the parking lot Edward and Ryan had begun setting up. The television was turned on in the background, I didn't even know what channel it was on.

"Oink Sir, what would you oink like?" I asked in a deep voice, pinching my nose when I added the "oinking" noises, while holding a pink pig over a matchbox car. I could hardly see the car.

"I'd like five pieces of lettuce and some onion on the top for my salad." Edward answered in a shrilly voice. He had a Barbie sitting on the biggest toy truck imagined.

I was laughing by the time he finished the sentence, "Who orders like that, Ed—"

I was cut off by a very excited yell, "Dada! Dada!"

Edward's head shot up nervously; I turned my head slowly, scared of what I would see.

Edward paled. I, on the other hand, was trying really hard to contain my laughter.

Ryan was staring at the television intently. Currently on the TV screen was a fat old man with black sweat pants, and a blue T-shirt that should have been in a bigger size.

"What….? How in the world am I the same as THAT man on TV?" Edward wondered aloud, clearly bewildered.

I patted his back to comfort him, "Don't worry, Ryan might not be able to tell you guys apart, but I can." I even kissed him on the cheek to make the scene more dramatic.

He said dryly, "That seriously helps a lot, Bella." I laughed again.

"Ryan, why don't you come play with us again?" I asked the little kid who was sitting cross-legged on the carpet. He smiled, and came over to retrieve his car.

We played for a while before it was time for Ryan's bedtime. Edward stood in the doorway while I put Ryan in his crib.

"'Night, Ryan. Don't let the bed bugs bite." I gave him a hug, and placed a kiss on his forehead before putting him down. It was our nightly routine now, Ryan never slept without a kiss and a hug.

However, tonight he didn't close his eyes after I placed his blanket over him. His eyes were wide open and his arms were held up towards me in the air.

Strange? What's the matter? I wondered to myself. Edward came to stand beside me to see what was wrong. He knew our "nightly routine" too.

"What's wrong sweetie?" I asked Ryan. I saw that Ryan's arms were getting tired and he was on the verge of tears, so I picked him up and held him again.

Ryan turned to the side and started leaning towards Edward, holding his chubby arms out again.

Something clicked in my head. He wants Edward to do the same too!

Apparently, Edward made the connection too. He asked softly, "Do you mind?"

"Of course not." I handed Ryan to Edward.

Edward hugged him tight and kissed his forehead just like I did. Then, Edward moved Ryan to his left arm, and his right arm encircled my waist, pulling me into his embrace.

This feels good. Normal, even. That was the first thought that crossed my mind. I leaned into the warmth he offered. I put both of my arms around his waist, too.

"Thank you for letting me into you and Ryan's life, Bella" He said gently. I paused to absorb that. Then, I looked up into his eyes. His eyes held an emotion I couldn't quite place, but it was certainly smothering me. "You're welcome." I smiled, and let my head fall back onto his chest.

I didn't know how long we stood there for, but Edward suddenly leaned towards my ear and whispered, "You asleep too?" I could feel his breath on my neck.

I jolted away from Edward. Blood was rushing to my cheeks. Thank goodness we were in the dark!

"No. Is Ryan asleep?"

"Yeah, and he's starting to drool on my shirt." He said nervously.

"Here, let me take him, you can go clean up." I took Ryan and put him gently in the crib. I heard Edward turn on the faucet in the washroom in the hallway.

I said softly to Ryan, who was currently sound asleep, "Thanks, buddy. You're a genius."

xXx

"Sorry, I've only got orange juice left. I only buy beverages that Ryan can drink these days." I went back into the living room with two glasses of juice.

I found Edward still staring at the television screen. The fat man was still on TV. Apparently, this was a movie.

"That's alright." He answered.

"Are you still finding similarities between you guys?" I giggled.

"Yeah, and I did." I quieted down after he finished the sentence.

He continued, "We're wearing the same color clothes. And we're both guys." He added in the end.

"But where in the world did Ryan learn the word? I never taught him that. I was getting him to say 'Mama' for ages."

He held both of his hands up above his head, "Don't look at me. It never even crossed my mind to teach him 'Dada' as vocabulary." He said innocently.

We were both deep in thought.

Black pants and blue t-shirt. Why does it sound so familiar? I asked myself in my head.

Bingo!

Those colors were the uniform of the guy who was living upstairs. The "Dad" in their family. Their family came down to visit us a lot when they learned I had "adopted" Ryan. His dad would usually be in his uniform, and the kid would call "Daddy!" every once in a while to show his father something he and Ryan made. And these few days, the 'daddy' sounds coming from upstairs seem to be more frequent than ever.

I told Edward my theory. He seemed to be relieved after that.

"So, how do we teach Ryan now? Do we correct him?" He asked.

I didn't know if he noticed, but he said we instead of you, I was glad we were in this together.

"I'm not sure if you're going to agree, but will you be willing to go along as Ryan's father for now? I can't bear telling him he doesn't have a 'dada'." I asked nervously.

He smiled warmly, "I'd be glad to. And I'd feel so much better if he didn't start calling every male his daddy."

"Thanks, you're the best, you know that?" I was feeling very generous at the moment.

"I know that. I overheard somebody saying something along the lines of that just a few days ago…."

"I'm never going to live this one down either, am I?" I literally groaned.

"Nope." He said, making the 'p' sound.

We went back to staring at the screen again. The humming of the fridge, and the voices coming out of the TV were the only sounds to be heard in the apartment. Neither of us knew how to bring up the topic.

Finally, Edward picked up the remote and turned down the television.

"Do you want to talk about it? We could continue this tomorrow if you like."

"No, let's talk about it now." I took a deep breath, "Edward, don't go thinking that I'm mad that he said 'dada' instead of 'mama' first. Maybe I was a little disappointed, but that was only for five seconds." I felt Edward starting to rub my hands, which were held in a fist without my knowing.

I continued, "Ryan doesn't have his real parents to love him and take care of him. I'm sad for him. Maybe I haven't got the greatest parents in the world either, but at least mine were always there for me when I needed them. Sure, I'm his mom now, but I'm afraid for Ryan's future. What if he starts to detest what I am doing now? And he's a boy. I'm sure he'd like a father figure to look up to someday. He needs one." My voice was wavering at the end.

Edward's arm wrapped around my shoulder, and I leaned my head on his shoulders.

"But at least Ryan has you. You've been the most loving and caring mom to him, and he knows that. His eyes light up when he sees you come into the room, you're the one he turns to when he's crying. Ryan loves you, and don't you for one second think you aren't doing enough. Just being you is enough for him right now." He paused, and started talking again, "As for the father figure, I'm sure you'll find somebody in the future to be your husband, and to be a father to Ryan. That man would undoubtedly be the luckiest man in the world. But you do realize you just persuaded me to take on the father role when you asked me the 'dada' question a few minutes ago right?" Edward's eyes twinkled when he said the last part.

I was too stunned by his speech to think of a reply. He took my silence the wrong way.

"The 'fake' father role, of course. And that's until you find the guy of your dreams." He added hastily.

I smiled widely at him and put my arms around him, "Thanks."

"Anything for you. Anything."

We were silent again for a while, watching the movie credits roll. Edward spoke up.

"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions I've been itching to ask?"

"Go." I turned off the television.

"Why does Ryan look so much like you? No offense, but it's been on my mind for a while." He blurted out.

Of all the people, I thought Edward would be the first to believe that Ryan ISN'T my child. I was a bit disappointed, but I explained anyway.

"That's actually the reason I chose Ryan. He looked so much like me, and we just clicked, you know? I didn't think about the consequences, and the suspicions he might rise. He had my heart wrapped around his small fists at first sight."

"So his last name wasn't Swan?"

That one hit me most. Oh! I never explained THAT one to anyone, no wonder people were suspicious. I figured they all knew.

*Flashback*

It was a normal day like any another. I was off work and curled up with a book on my couch.

Correction: I was hiding behind my book.

I checked my email today, and Edward still hasn't replied. I don't dare ask him what's keeping him so busy, in case I break down when he tells me something I don't want to hear. I was nervous as I typed in my password, my heart stopping even. When the page opened, there were no new messages waiting for me. I logged off immediately since I didn't want to face reality any longer.

So I escaped to my favorite place—books.

After drowning the last bit of soda, I got up to wash the mug and get ready for bed. I switched shifts tomorrow, meaning I got double shifts, because Angela wanted to spend some time with Ben. It didn't matter to me since I didn't have a boyfriend, so I often changed shifts with people who needed time with their lovers.

Just then, my house phone rang.

Who calls this late? I wondered.

"Hello?"

"Could I talk to Miss Bella Swan, please?"

"Speaking. May I ask who is calling?" I questioned since I didn't remember hearing this voice.

"Ah, I'm glad I reached you. I'm calling on behalf of an eleventh-month old child. Please don't ask how I found you, or why I chose you. You are the best guardian for this kid, and if you don't take him, I'm afraid he'd have to end up in an orphanage since no foster homes are currently available for him."

"What happened to the parents?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't answer that question."

"Ok….." Weird, then what can I ask? "So that probably means I can't ask about his last name either?"

"No. However, it will be changed to your last name—Swan, once he is in your care. It will be done for you."

*End of Flashback*

"No, his last name wasn't Swan. They changed it to my last name since he was under my care." I answered as close to the truth as I could. I didn't want to lie.

"Oh! I thought he might be a relative or something."

"Nah, no cousins' name came up. Not that I could think of anyway."

He nodded, "Can I ask you one last question?" He said sheepishly.

"Sure."

"What did you say to Alice that made she think you and I were….married?" He faltered on the last word. I burst into giggles after I heard the question, I was expecting a hard one again.

"I didn't really say anything. I just got Ryan that day, and I was shopping for an infant car seat, and thanks to Alice, I ended up with loads of clothes and other baby supplies. I didn't really want any weird or curious glances, so I didn't say anything about Ryan adopted, but I didn't say he was my blood-related son either. She probably just assumed."

He heaved a sigh of relief, "Oh, because that was sort of a shocker. I mean, I was single the last minute, and married the next? A quick marriage is nice, but not THAT fast. If you were so worried about weird glances, how did you get all the baby supplies anyway?"

"I got the daily necessities on my way back that day I got Ryan. And after I spread the word that I had adopted Ryan, it made buying the other baby stuff so much easier. The crib was actually given from another family who was wanting to get rid of it."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for all that. It must have been one hell of a time."

I chuckled, "It doesn't matter. At least you're here now." I patted his leg.

He looked at the clock, "I should get going, it's going to be a busy day for me tomorrow." I walked him to the door. His brows were furrowed the whole way.

He stepped out into the night, "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Thanks for coming over first today."

"Not a problem at all."

Silence hung around us. No one wanted to be the first one to say good-bye. We were both staring at the ground and moving our feet around, sneaking a few glances at the other person in between. Edward finally looked up first.

"Um….I was wanting to ask….are you free this Saturday?" He said in a rush.

My mouth flew open. No! I screamed in my head.

A/N:

So...did you guys find your answers? I think I got all of them in the story.

If you have any more questions about the story, plz tell me! I'm sure many others would have the same questions too!

About the Alice/Jasper & Rosalie/Emmett question, I'm not going to be able to answer that question now. So I would suggest you to keep reading and maybe you'll find out?

Now...about this chapter~

What is Bella's answer going to be? Is she gonna follow her brain or her heart? And what's her problem with it? :P

And since you guys have been SO supportive, I'm making a decision:

140 REVIEWS(reviews for 6 chapters in total) AND I WILL PUT UP THE NEXT CHAPTER IMMEDIATELY! (eh...if it gets to that much reviews during my sleeptime, I guess you guys will just have to wait until next morning, sorry!)

otherwise, it would just be the normal one-week update as usual! :D

so review plz?

thanks again!

born2bmyself 2010.06.23