A/N: Okay, I had to post two chapters this week, I've been DYING to get more out there. Think of it as a holiday present, unless that sounds too egocentric… Happy Holidays!

Disclaimer: I don't own THAT 70S SHOW nor Aerosmith.

Episode 9.3: Draw the Line

Jackie carried the last box from hers and Fez's apartment and set it in the doorway.

"Fez, I'm packed!" she called. He left the kitchen, and nodded.

"So you're going to be at your mothers, right?" he asked.

"Yep."

"So if there's another problem with the heater can you come over and yell at the super for me?" he asked. She smiled wryly.

"You know I like yelling," she said. He smiled, and they hugged.

"So where are you going? Did you find an apartment?" Fez asked. She was about to answer, when Pamela Burkhart peeked her head in the door.

"I paid a homeless man to put most of your stuff in that awful truck I had to rent," she said. "There's just enough room in the back seat for your boxes. And your room is just the way that you left it! Hello, Fez!" She waved, and then left the apartment. Jackie nodded, eyebrows raised and unable to look Fez in the face.

"Jackie, I beg you, don't move back in with your mother," he said. "You can stay here a little longer until you find a place. Please!" Jackie smiled sheepishly, and pat Fez on the shoulder.

"I'll survive, Fez," she said. At that moment she heard her mother drop her martini glass.

"Damn! Jackie darling, we need to stop at a housewares store! I just broke my last martini glass!" she called. Jackie groaned.

"Somehow," she stated, grabbing her last box and left the apartment.

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Red was eating breakfast when Eric walked into the kitchen.

"Eric, I've decided that you need to get a job," he said. "You're going to college in the fall and you should earn some money in the mean time."

"Are you serious?" Eric asked. "Dad, I've already looked around town, there are no assistant positions at any of the schools. I tried the high school, I tried the grade school, I tried the Catholic school and dammit I tried the Montessori school. They all want someone with college experience! It's like I went to Africa for nothing!"

"I don't care if you tried to get a job at the hippie dippy new age school in Green Bay, you are not going to be free riding until September," Red said. "Now you should go out and get a job. Today." Eric sighed, at a loss for what to do. Until Hyde walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Hyde, can I work at your record store?"

"Sure, why not?" Hyde said. "Come in and fill out an application when I go in to work." Red rolled his eyes, and Eric smiled triumphantly.

"Problem solved," Eric said, and passed Hyde the eggs.

"Ever since Randy up and left after Donna dumped him, I've been short a hand at work," Hyde said. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to hire any of the jackasses that have applied. Now I can say the position has been filled."

"Steven, get your own apartment," Red said. Hyde looked up, shocked.

"… Huh?"

"You own your own business and yet you're still skulking around in our basement like the damned phantom of the opera," Red said. "Get an apartment."

"Wow," Eric said.

"Bet you're regretting giving Eric that job now," Red said, taking his plate to the sink.

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"So Red kicked you out because you gave Eric a job?" Donna asked, standing at the counter of Grooves. Hyde sighed, and nodded.

"Yeah, he was pretty irritated," Hyde said. "I guess I ruined his whole idea of making Eric be self sufficient. But come on, it's Eric. He takes the easy way out whenever he can."

"I heard that," Eric called, from the table where he was filling out his application. Jackie walked into the store.

"Donna, Bob told me that you were here," she said. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure Jackie, what's up?"

"Can I move in with you and your Dad again?" Jackie asked. "I've barely spent a day at my Mom's and I'm about ready to throw myself out the window of my room."

"Sorry Jackie, but since Dad is selling the house we're kind of in the middle of packing things up, including the cot."

"What about the couch?"

"Why did you move out of yours and Fez's place?" Donna asked. "Wasn't the break-up amicable?"

"It was, but I don't feel right staying there with him."

"There you go, Hyde, you could live with Fez," Eric said. "You should ask him." Hyde snorted, and Jackie didn't even acknowledge his presence. She was still infuriated about the New Years Dinner Incident.

"I guess I could," Hyde said. "He's a cool guy, he'll understand where I'm coming from."

"Here's my application!" Eric said, handing Hyde the piece of paper.

"Cool. You start tomorrow at opening," Hyde said. "I never quite trust Leo to come in on time."

"Oh, jeeze, see, I like sleeping in," Eric said, scratching his head. "I thought I could have a shift from like, noon to six or something." Hyde grabbed his shoulder.

"Foreman, you're my best friend, but I'm saying this to you as your boss now. You work from nine to five or you're fired. Kay?" He went to the back room, and Eric's face fell.

"Great," he said.

"Thank God," Jackie said. "He is such a jerk."

"Are you still mad about what happened with Fez?" Donna asked.

"Yes!" Jackie exclaimed. "I thought that Steven had more taste than that! When Fez told me that he had given him tips on how to bed me, it felt like he was spitting in my face. No one spits in Jackie Burkhart's face! NO ONE!" Donna shrugged, and Jackie turned, and left the store.

"Except her mother," Donna said. "Figuratively, of course."

"Of course," Eric said.

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Hyde knocked on Fez's apartment door after he left work, leaving Leo the close. Fez opened the door, and smiled.

"Hey Hyde, come in," Fez said.

"Hey Fez," Hyde said. "So. I heard Jackie moved out."

"Yeah, she did," Fez said. "I'm sad to see her go. She kept the place really clean."

"Yeah, I bet she did, she never could stand a mess," Hyde said. "So, looking for a roommate?"

"Oh, yeah, I am!" Fez said, happily.

"Well how about me?"

"Oh, no, I'm not," Fez said, standing up and walking to the kitchenette.

"What?! You just said you were!" Hyde said. "Look, Red kicked me out because I gave Eric a job, and I really need to find a place to live ASAP. Why can't I live here?"

"Hyde, you are my friend," Fez said, voice slipping into condescension. "But I do not want to live with you."

"Why not?"

"One: You are messy. You leave beer cans all over your room, and I once found a plate under your bed that had grown it's own colony of mold," Fez said.

"I have to ask why you were digging under my bed now," Hyde asked.

"That's not important. Two, you're a player. I don't want random women walking in and out of the apartment talking to me like I don't speak English."

"That was one time, and Sam apologized right away for that."

"Three, I blame you for Jackie dumping me."

"Wow, that's kind of a stretch, she dumped you because she didn't love you," Hyde said. "And I thought you weren't mad about that!"

"I'm not mad at her. I'm mad at YOU," Fez said. "I'm convinced that you have been out to sabotage my relationship with her since she first made her intentions clear."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Hyde snapped. "It was doomed from the start, I had nothing to do with that."

"Be that as it may, though I don't agree, I am not going to live with you," Fez said. "Besides, everyone knows that you'll eventually get back together with her, and I don't want that thrown in my face all the time."

"Oh yeah right," Hyde said. "You're nuts. Fine, I don't need your apartment! I can find one of my own! In fact, I'm going to buy a newspaper right now and I'm going to start looking!"

"Okay! Have a good night!" Fez said. Hyde left the apartment, and Fez began to write out his roommate advertisement.

"Let's see. Roommate wanted. Non-threatening salon worker seeks a roommate. Two bedroom apartment, nice view, must like candy and be able to tolerate sleepwalking."

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Jackie left her mother's house for the Hub the next evening. She was meeting Donna for dinner, and had a newspaper under her arms. She walked into the Hub, and sat at the usual table. She looked through the housing section, and pulled a pen from her purse, circling the options that sounded the most appealing. There were few.

"Hey," Donna said, sitting next to her.

"Hey," Jackie said. "Man, there are so many apartments that sound so crappy! I don't want a roommate, I want my own place!"

"Well, what kind of money are you making at the station?" Donna asked. "Can you afford it?"

"I don't know," Jackie said. "Ooh! Here's one! It's above the Fine Grind Coffee House, it's two bedroom, and it's in really good condition."

"So they say."

"Will you come with me to look at it tomorrow?" Jackie asked, circling it and starring it over and over.

"Sure, why not?" Donna asked.

"Good! I hope I can move in right away, I need to get the hell away from my mother," Jackie said.

"It does sound good. I think I've seen that window above the coffee place. Two bedroom is impressive too. But why do you need two bedroom if you want to live by yourself?"

"Donna, I need an extra closet for my clothes," Jackie stated. "Jeeze."

"Oh, silly me," Donna said. "And to think I thought you'd have enough room in one closet for all your clothes."

"Donna, when are you going to dye your hair red again?" Jackie asked.

"Wha-? Where did THAT come from?" Donna asked.

"EVERY man who walks in here gives you a look over and completely ignores me. I think it has to be the fact you're blonde."

"Well maybe I'll just keep it this way then."

"Oh come on! It's not like you don't already have a boyfriend!"

"… Do you really think I should go back to red?"

"If it gets the attention back on me I'd encourage you to cut it all off," Jackie said, sipping her soda.

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Eric walked into work the next morning, cursing having to get up so early, and couldn't believe it was only his second day. Hyde was behind the counter, whistling.

"You seem cheerful," Eric said. "What's going on with you?"

"I think I found an apartment," he said. "Wanna look at it with me on the lunch hour?"

"Who will be looking over the store?"

"Leo will," Hyde said.

"Yeah, okay," Eric said. Two pre teen girls walked in the store.

"Go help the customers, will ya, I'm gonna call the landlord," Hyde said. Eric nodded, and walked to the two girls.

"What are you two looking for today?" he asked.

"What does a geek like you know about music?" the brunette girl asked. Eric was caught slightly off guard, and just sort of chuckled.

"Oh, probably more than you do, Polly Pocket," Eric asked. "What are you looking for?"

"Judas Priest," the brunette said. Eric was caught very off guard this time.

"But you're what, ten?"

"Twelve, you nitwit," the angry blonde said. "Where's Judas Priest?"

"Try the rock section, Linda Blair!" Eric snapped, and the girls glared and skulked over to the rock records. "Jeeze, the kids in Africa were so much more gracious."

"Welcome to America, nerd!" Polly Pocket said, and Linda Blair laughed with her.

"Wow, miniature Reds," Eric muttered, and went back behind the counter.

---------------------------------

"Are you sure this is the place?" Eric asked, as Hyde knocked on the door.

"Yeah, it has to be," Hyde said. The door opened, and a man with a pencil moustache and snooty disposition was before them. "Hey. I'm Steven Hyde, I called about looking at the apartment."

"Oh, that's right," the man said. "Well, I have someone else looking at the place at the moment. But you can come in and wait in the main room. The tour is almost over."

"Thanks," Hyde said. He and Eric walked in, and they looked at the main room. It was a decent size, with a kitchenette connected to it, and three doors, two to bedrooms and one to the bathroom.

"This is a nice place," Eric said. "And yet I can't help but feel like it's cursed or Amityville or something."

"Why is that? It's an apartment, not an old house," Hyde said.

"I don't know, just a feeling," Eric muttered. "But I bet you could make a mighty nice bachelor pad here."

"I bet I could too," Hyde said. "Man, I have ideas for this place." The bedroom door opened, and the landlord walked out.

"And that concludes the tour," he said, gesturing for the first prospects to enter the main room. "So what did you think?"

"I LOVE it!" that familiar, shrill voice said, and Jackie strolled into the main room. Hyde and Eric's heads snapped to see the small girl freeze, and eyes flash.

"What are YOU doing here?" Hyde demanded.

"What are YOU doing here?!" she exclaimed, Donna following.

"Eric?"

"Donna?"

"What are you doing here?" they asked each other.

"I'm looking at this apartment!" Hyde said.

"No, I'M looking at this apartment!" Jackie snapped.

"Ooh, I smell a bidding war," the landlord said.

"That explains the eerie feeling," Eric mused. "Are the walls gonna start bleeding?"

"Well I want to take it," Jackie said. "I will take it here and now."

"Hey, maybe I want to take it!" Hyde exclaimed.

"You can't take it, I was here first!" Jackie threw back.

"How serendipitous," Donna said, walking to Eric. "Of all the apartments in all of Point Place he had to like this one."

"The same could be said about Jackie," Eric said.

"Listen, I'm kind of going to be very picky about who I rent this apartment to," the man said, crossing his arms. "I was looking for two people, not one, to rent this place."

"Why?" Jackie asked.

"Because it's two bedrooms and it's more likely that I would get the full rent each month without an excuse from two people," he stated.

"I'm trustworthy!" Jackie exclaimed.

"I own my own business!" Hyde stated.

"I am going to be a big TV star!" Jackie threw in.

"Look missy, do you have a roommate?" he asked.

"… No."

"And do you, buddy?"

"……. No."

"Well, I am really looking for two people. Sorry," the guy said. He escorted all of them out, and Jackie and Hyde seethed.

"Oh it feels much less evil in the hallway," Eric said.

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Fez was interviewing the third person to answer his interview, a burly, scary biker.

"Well, Claw, while I would be more than happy to house you, this building doesn't allow pets," Fez said, feigning disappointment. "So unless you're willing to give up your pitbull, I don't think that is going to be the right fit for you."

"No problem," Claw said, and shook Fez's hand to the point of nearly breaking it. "Me and Gnash will have to find other accommodations." Fez escorted him out, and leaned against the door.

"Damn you Jackie for moving out!" he exclaimed. There was a knocking, and figured it was the last person on the list. At least this one was a woman, and he hoped she was sexy. He had imagined a pretty blonde girl, and hoped his imagination was right. He opened the door, and didn't quite know what to think.

"Hey, I'm Janie," she said, holding out her black fingernail polished hand. "Is this the place that's looking for a roommate?"

"Yes," Fez said, weighing his options. She was punk, but looked pretty enough provided her dark make up didn't hide anything. "I'm Fez, come in."

"Wait a minute," she said, and smiled a little. "Fez? How many Fez's are there in this town?"

"Um, just me, I think," Fez answered.

"Wow, I've heard a lot about you," Janie said, and walked to the couch. "I know your friend Jackie. So let me guess, she is the one who moved out."

"Oh. Yes."

"So she dumped you, huh?"

"…. Are you the Devil?" Fez asked, actually concerned. She laughed, and shrugged.

"Well, according to my Aunt Sue I've been possessed by him," she said, and laughed a little bit. "No, I'm Jackie's tattoo artist turned friend."

"Ohhhhhh," Fez said. "Well, you're looking for a place to live?"

"Yeah."

"When can you move in?" He decided that her looks outweighed her eerie ability to read him. She smiled, and shook his hand.

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Jackie, Donna, Eric, and Hyde got back to the basement, and Jackie huffed and stormed to the couch.

"I can't believe that he wants two people to live in that stupid apartment!" she exclaimed. "I don't have anyone to be a roommate and I really wanted it!"

"You aren't on a deadline to find a place!" Hyde said, sitting in his chair. "If I'm not out soon Red is going to drop me off at the YMCA personally!"

"You know, I hear it's fun to stay at the YMCA," Eric said, but Hyde didn't find it funny. "Sorry."

"you guys are being dumb," Donna said. "Why don't you both move in? You guys could be roommates and then you get the apartment."

"Over my dead body!" Hyde said.

"I would rather tear out all my hair and burn my eyes with drain cleaner!" Jackie snapped.

"… Okay, that was a little harsh," Hyde said.

"Shut up! I'm not moving in with you!" she growled.

"Look, you're both looking for apartments and you're both desperate!" Donna said, firmly. "This is such an opportunity! And who says you guys even have to see each other? You stay in your room, you stay in yours!"

"Donna is right," Eric said. "It's not that bad of a deal. And it's a big place. You can have sides."

"What about the kitchen?" Jackie asked. "We can't split that down the middle."

"Well that can be neutral territory," Eric said.

"Donna, you can't really think that this is a good idea," Hyde said. "I mean… Given our history-."

"Given he's an insensitive jackass to me," Jackie said.

"You both need the place to live!" Donna said. "So unless you want dingy one bedroom apartments that are infested with roaches, I think you should really consider this. How hard would it be to live together in that apartment?" Jackie and Hyde didn't look at each other, and Jackie held up a hand.

"Let me just say, for the record, that I think this is a stupid idea," Jackie said. "But I am willing to do it because my loathing for him is no where near my loathing for my mother."

"… Yeah, and I really don't want to stay at Grooves," Hyde said. "That place has weird happenings in it, man." Donna sighed contently, and nodded.

"Okay, so let's go back and tell him about this," Donna said.

"It's like The Odd Couple!" Eric exclaimed, and began humming the theme. He stopped abruptly once Jackie and Hyde gave him the looks of death.

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The got to the apartment, and signed the lease.

"You can move in whenever you want," the landlord said. "I'm Joe Lane, rent comes to me at the beginning of the month, when you move in I get a deposit, enjoy your new place." Donna smiled at them as Joe left.

"Okay, so Eric and I will help you guys move on Sunday," Donna said. "Two more nights at your Mom's and Erics won't kill either of you."

"For now, though, we're going to a movie," Eric said. "So Felix, Oscar, have a good night." He and Donna left, leaving Hyde and Jackie alone in the empty apartment.

"So," Hyde said. "I guess since you agreed to this you aren't still pissed off about the Fez thing." Jackie looked at him, and walked into the bedroom was going to be hers. "Um, there's no furniture yet." She slammed the door. He nodded curtly. "I'll just be leaving then. You can lock up after you're done sulking. See you on Sunday….. What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

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Fez walked into the apartment, and Janie was cleaning the place in black panties and a spaghetti strapped shirt, listening to The Sex Pistols. She danced around, dusting the mantle and bouncing happily.

"Hi, Fez! How was work?" she asked. "Hope you don't mind what I'm wearing, my clothes are at my Mom's house in the laundry and my leather pants don't work well for cleaning."

"Oh, I don't mind at all," Fez said, and smiled. Then became very awkward looking. "… I have to go now." He rushed into his bedroom, and she continued cleaning and singing.

FADE OUT